Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 1,516]

I've never met anyone smarter than a bullet.

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

If you drink and drive often, statistically, you're going to get better at it. 

[Wizard 794]

"You can sing!"
*Person sings*
"... Nope nevermind."

[Mirage 24,149]

'Is it okay to leave this on all the time?'

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

AFTER 3 MONTHS OF WAITING THE PLANES YTP COLLAB IS OUT!!!!!!! 

[Silly Druid 6,188]

"I own a tinfoil hat, and I wear it proudly. It is a necessary precaution against the government's attempts to read my thoughts and control my mind. The tinfoil acts as a protective barrier, keeping out harmful waves and signals. Without my tinfoil hat, I would be vulnerable and susceptible to manipulation and brainwashing. It keeps me safe and free, and I suggest everyone else take the same precaution."

[Silly Druid 6,188]

Another one from the same source:

"...I mean... I guess... yeah, I guess... There are... Uh, other things... that I like that are not Tsunade... Like, uh... chocolate milk... and... and... uh..."

[Ragland Tiger 3,297]

“If you want to tell someone the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise they’ll kill you”

[Samurai Equine 46,267]

Can't even put up much of anything right now. It's just a hole in the ground. Well, more like a dip in the ground. 

[Wizard 794]

"I have a monster inside, and it craves cookies."

Edited March 31 by Wizard

[DubWolf 16,661]

“PIZZAAA, P-P-P-PIZZAAA !”

[Denim&Venöm 16,610]

"Me: 

"My dumbass cow that just ate a fking flat screen: " 

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

My friends:

Me who just realized what retroactive means: I did it!  I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW!!!

[Denim&Venöm 16,610]

 "Are you there god?

It's me, a second, more powerful god." 

 

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

Sorry for breaking the fabric of reality 

[Enmosia Curvata 82]

How dare you say something like that In front of my Halberstadt D.V

[Wizard 794]

"I know it's 7am... But I want buffalo wings"

[Tropical Melody 5,128]

"In this house, we'll obey the laws of thermodynamics!" 

 

 

 

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

Me: Do you guys think farts are combustible? 

My friends: . . . . WHAT THE F*CK MAN?!?! 

[Sinking Rocky 10]

"Does that mean we can make a hybrid of an apple and a dog through nuclear transfer?"

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

"I mean it's not impossible. Someone did it once, and everyone after that person failed. But that won't stop me!"

[Denim&Venöm 16,610]

 "Waffle House isn't a place you go. It's a place you end up at." 

[Tropical Melody 5,128]

"I hate it when you see those images of intensively reared battery farmed rocks. This is how they should be, look - running wild in fields."

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,610]

"All the bitter, divorced people go to Amon Amarth."

[Lawyer Slip 1,350]

 "Just please, let me go free"

" So you don't want us to kill the whelp?"

 "Oh no by all means kill the whelp. Do whatever you want to him, just let me go."

" . . . "