Does the unkindness in the world ever get you down?

[Cyan Blue 946]

Yeah, but there's going to be stuff like that. You just have to admit it's life.

[Cygnus 60]

I think what's sadder are the terrible things people do with good intentions.

 

I was talking to a friend today about my frustrations with how adults or even minors seeking support concerning childhood abuse and neglect are treated. There are people who think the solution isn't to help them process their negative emotions, tackle the toxic shame that makes them believe the abuse was or is warranted, and develop the confidence and empathy that they may not have been given opportunity to develop in their homes, but to shut down the expression of negative emotions as quickly as possible (they're unhealthy!) and press for the end goal of acceptance and forgiveness. I stated that these people, despite their helpful appearance, actually prevent recovery or even further harm individuals asking for help.

 

My friend told me that they do what they do out of ignorance rather than malice, which I suppose I have to agree with. How we're to survive with that level of ignorance prevalent is something I still don't understand.

[Grand_Finale 529]

There is always unkind people. Yes they always get me down. Mainly immature teens that don't respect elders. That really drives me crazy. Respect one another, please.

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with that statement.

Of course there's disrespectful teens, but I know so many wonderful and intelligent and respectful young individuals who view the world in a much more equal and wonderful way. On the other hand, I know some adults who have done terrible things, and do not hold the maturity and responsibility that people much younger than them have.

 

One example I can give is homosexuality. The younger minds are much more welcoming and open to this right compared to a fair percentage of the older generation.

 

Another quick fact, elder abuse is most often from their children, who would be in the 30-40 year old range, followed by their spouses

[Troblems 5,617]

I know personally I can be an ass. It's never meant to be rude or nasty, but rather I have a bad case of word vomit, mixed with a lacking filter. A lot of things I say are malicious when they come out because I'm socially awkward, and what comes into my head is immediately out of my mouth. Luckily, I don't have an issue with volume control, but I'm notorious for saying inappropriate things. It's why I'm an introvert, as well as for preferring interactions online: real life has no backspace or delete.

[Scootalove 10,689]

The unkindness in this world tries to get me down but, when people treat others with disrespect just because they feel like it really does get me down.

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

Sometimes it does, but then I remember that the world has good things in it too. Even though the world is full of hatred, violence, and unkindness, it is also full of love, happiness, and kindness.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

It does not, I try being kind to people and I've learned that there are those who will show you kindness and those are the people I value in life. Then there are those who are not kind and those are the people I couldn't care less about. I've learned to just not care, besides the unkindness of the world has only made me stronger. Besides, if there wasn't unkindness there wouldn't be kindness so there is good and bad, best to just not focus on the bad.

[Commander Fresh 36]

What I've learned is to simply accept the fact that human nature makes us instinctively cruel, selfish and indifferent. It was the only way we could survive back in our prehistoric days. Kindness and caring only came later as a higher form of thinking.

 

It's hard for us to completely throw away are natural instincts; some people do it better than others. If you ask me, in many cases, human emotion is quite a waste of time, and the lack of it could improve many aspects of our society (especially politics). Emotions can directly contradict logical thinking, and there are many instances where we'd do better with logic than emotion.

 

The world isn't a kind place, but as society has moved forwards, humans have learned to turn their selfish desires into kind and generous acts (which if you ask me, is the best we can do anyways). How I see it, the primary driving force for kind actions is caused by the same thing that makes us do anything else: a sense of personal satisfaction. If you help somebody get back on their feet, can you say you don't feel happy that you just helped someone out? If there was absolutely nothing in it for yourself, I'd be willing to bet that you wouldn't do anything.

 

This is the way I see the world. It looks very pessimistic no doubt, but I don't feel bad for it. For me, it's more of an acceptance more than anything, and this is, indeed, what gets me through all of the unfairness and cruelty in the world.

 

I wish I could change the world for the better, but in the mean time, a little bit of cynicism could help you out.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Commander Fresh

[Shawn Parks 1,798]

What I've learned is to simply accept the fact that human nature makes us instinctively cruel, selfish and indifferent. It was the only way we could survive back in our prehistoric days. Kindness and caring only came later as a higher form of thinking.

 

It's hard for us to completely throw away are natural instincts; some people do it better than others.

 

That is the question with which I constantly struggle - why do people default to their cruel instincts when we all possess the ability to override those instincts with critical thinking?

[Commander Fresh 36]

That is the question with which I constantly struggle - why do people default to their cruel instincts when we all possess the ability to override those instincts with critical thinking?

I think the issue here is that you are expecting people to be considerate and selfless. As I have previously mentioned, even the most generous of actions are caused by one's own selfish desires. Since this kind of thinking is so deeply ingrained into everybody, it is what takes less energy and time. Critical thinking is comparatively harder than instinctive thinking, and we like to save energy when we can.

 

Some people are less selfish than others in their actions; these people are a "new breed". We've only just begun creating equality between the wealthy and the poor, male and female, homo and heterosexuals (etc.), and we're still a long way from it. The fact is that the world we live in is a terrible place, but there are people willing to change it. That may be the kind of mindset you need to keep you going. Society is a lot better, and a lot more fair than it was in the past, but change in human nature does not happen quickly. It's like evolution, and in a way, it is.

 

With all this in mind, sentiment is a dangerous thing. It is certainly not easy to change the person you are, but to continue on, sometimes you have to think like others. I don't mean you have to start acting all cruel and selfish, but a little bit of indifference can go a long way. In fact, I personally think human emotions are a complete waste of time where logical thinking is more important (eg. politics, solving social issues etc.) because getting influenced by our emotions mean we can potentially become less kind and considerate in the midst of getting what we want instead of what is best for everyone else.

 

I don't think I've said anything life changing here, but what I do suggest (and this will be quite a tall suggestion) is that you add a little bit of indifference to your thinking. I don't mean you should be a heartless monster, things may be a bit easier for you to look past if you accept that deep down, any human in the same circumstances would more than likely have done the same. Be happy that you're not a monster like them, and you know people just like you who aren't willing to accept the current human condition as the one that stays.

Edited November 23, 2013 by Commander Fresh

[Vyx 13]

I recently went to my first brony convention at Nightmare Nights, and the overwhelming sense of kindness and friendliness that i felt there was unlike anything i've ever known. i actually ended up going into a depression after i got back because i couldn't be around that anymore  The world is an unkind place and seeing that convention made me realize just what it's potential is. Guess i'll be heading to every bronycon i can save up the money for 

[Splashee 28,564]

On 4/28/2013 at 8:32 PM, Shawn Parks said:

They are just monsters to me.  Like vampires or something.

But vampires are cool.

 

Yea, unkindness is a sad thing to have to see. Especially on a daily basis.

[Dreambiscuit 9,793]

Unkindness isn’t always a deliberate thing. Some people act unkind without even realizing it and would amend their actions if they were aware of them. That’s tolerable because we all make mistakes and try to improve if we can. It’s unfortunate when someone acts unkind for some perverse sense of satisfaction; taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune rather than trying to help. Some people like to drag others down to their own level to make themselves feel somehow validated, and end up doing just the opposite. Unkindness isn’t good, but fortunately any negative act can be undone by forgiveness, which is the ultimate form of kindness.

[Stardust 641]

It sucks to think how people haven't used common sense in the coronavirus crisis and actually feels like a sense of unkindness to it. Not enough people try to see what its like in another persons shoes. Ofc there have been really nice things too people helping others with shopping and that. So it's not all bad. I do have to agree though a lot of it is ignorance. Maybe kindness is something that needs to be taught.

A lot of other people seem to be in their own world unaware of others boundaries or even their own. They expect everyone to move for them and that they r like the king or something, but with less respect than that even. Some times that is a product of trauma, such as growing up and not receiving enough kindness from parents, carers, adults in general or even other children. Or even too much spoiling someone can make someone unkind too.

Edited November 3, 2020 by flurry

[Pentium100 2,123]

Instead of sad, I usually got angry when I read about some horrible crimes etc. However, at some point I realized that doing so will just make my blood pressure go up and would achieve absolute zero positive results. So, now I try to avoid getting upset about things that are beyond my control. I still have my opinions about what should be done to various people, but I have no desire (not to mention zero chance) to become a dictator and impose my will.

[Xe__or 4,377]

No; that's how the world is, kind to some, horrible to others.

[Splashee 28,564]

I'll complain about it, but only when things are going bad for me

[Jesse Terrence 2,968]

Depends on how much the unkindness is being applied on me and how much have I witstanded lately

[EpicEnergy 23,218]

It does sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't.

[Tao 7,765]

Given I work in retail,  I tend to be the blunt object of someone's unkindness and rudeness.  Ppl seem to feel even more they should have no reasons to be asshole/bitch to ppl just to something they want done.   It has become a line of dishearten for me to see ppl act this way,   try to even forces their own values onto others or threaten them if they don't agree on the point.   Even when someone is in the wrong fully,  you SHOULD agree with them. That is not how you treat ppl sadly..

 

[ExplosionMare 18,063]

When there is a lot of hate towards a person or group of people I get very discouraged 😔

[Chadbacca 375]

Even I'm not immune to it as it does hit me sometimes, but I also have to remember that there's still good in the world, even if it's hard to find.

[TBD 17,254]

 Either gets me angry or not surprised at all

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

It really does. Kindness is as precious as it is finite in this world. Because of that, some individuals are more deserving of it than others, one might say.

[Yakamaru 3,127]

Not really. Shows that it's important not to give into it and be unkind yourself.