Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

One slightly less appropriate:

 

Hey baby, I wish I was helicase so I could unzip your jeans.

 

I wish I had zinc fingers to get groovy between your strands.

Oh dear Molestia, kill me now.

[Keypassion 232]

Why Derpth?!

Anyway, a backwards poet writes inverse.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

A company is offering free skydiving lessons - no strings attached.

Edited March 20, 2012 by SolarPony

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

Knock knock

Who's there?

Taiwan

Taiwan who?

Taiwan up, he's trying to escape again.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Some Star Trek?

 

I showered before leaving. I'm clean-gone.

A Klingon and a Romulan try to shoot each other, but their weapons are disrupted. Unphased by this realization, they charge.

*knock knock* - Who's there? - Esses and Prize. - Oh hey! You, Esses; enter, Prize.

I met a starship captain yesterday. His mind was totally warped.

(Transporter operator) To beam or not to beam, that is the question.

(Pickup line) You're so bright... are you a star? Cuz I think my ship passed you on the way here.

Edited March 25, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

*knock knock* - Who's there? - Esses and Prize. - Oh hey! You, Esses; enter, Prize.

 

You win 1000 internets.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Aw, shucks. <3

 

Oh, I just played Reimagine :The Game: and remembered some of the notes I had taken down. Good stuff.

 

Inception (signs): "we have to go derper", "a meme within a meme" / (ending) "DIRECTED BY CHRISTOPHER TROLLAN"

Blockbuster (intro): 3D movies - depth perception and flat characters.

BP (ending): ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS BP'S OIL WELL

YouTube (ending): THE TRENDS JUSTIFY THE MEMES / who gets SICK of VIRAL videos?!

[Moosefullaeggs 543]

Hey baby,

 

Are you a hammer? 'Cus I'd ba*shot*

[Croaks 251]

1: But I left my money in my pocket and put it in the washer. Now my money's gone.

 

2: I guess you were LAUNDERING money! lol

 

* 2 died*

Edited March 25, 2012 by Croaks

[Rainbow Danger Dash 145]

i threw skittles at the manager of Staples and said taste the rainbow he threw a Stapler back at me and said "That was easy"

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

Skip to 0:28

 

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

What did potassium say to bromine when talking about the girl they both liked?

 

BRO, she's MINE.

[Aureity 3,055]

The vet at the zoo had a problem: beryllium. He had only two options, to curium or to barium.

He lead the dentist to boron the bear’s tooth. I’dgive a nickel to have seen what happened when the bear woke up.

Now thevet and the dentist argon. It’s ironic what can happen when you have a beryllium and try to curium.

Edited March 25, 2012 by Auroreita Borealis

[Keypassion 232]

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Yeah I went there.

Edited March 25, 2012 by Hinochi

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

(More of a pickup line)

 

Hey, ya like raisins? How about a date?

Actually, I kinda find fruit and food puns somewhat corny. Go fig. So I think I'm gonna take a leek, but it was nice to meat you anyhow.

 

Chinese ships are built in junkyards.

My lamp was left on last night. I had a rather light sleep.

The police arrested the bunny from the Energizer commercials. He was charged with battery.

Join the Communist party! We have drinks, cookies, cakes, party horns, party hats...

I thought I would never find a parking space, but there was a lot.

 

And now, animals. You wouldn't expect any less from a pony whose initials spell FS.

 

I'm not sick, just a little horse.

The ancestors of ravens were crow-magnons.

I wore a butterfly tie to work; it felt ridiculous, but better than a hen-tie.

Viscra wants to take a Rhydon my...

Edited March 25, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith

[pondus30 152]

Im somewhy laughing of all these dry sucky jokes

[5guysburgersnfries 216]

--------------------

Edited November 13, 2022 by 5guysburgersnfries

[Moosefullaeggs 543]

You can't spell 'Winry' without 'win'... Face-palm.

(My friend referencing to Winry from FullMetal Alchemist)

 

And you can't spell ignorant without IGN

 

Pic Related:

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

So a british man walks down the street when she sees a british woman stealing something from the jewelry store.

 

His response? "Hey you! Stop! You C**T do that!!"

[Guest]

Hey bro, need a hoof?

[Espeon 338]

Smogon hackers are really tough guys. They all use Dragon Dance Gyarados.

 

OHOHO MY SIDES

[Inactive01 5,299]

Peach: Hey Mario, I baked a really nice cake for you!

Mario: Oh Thanks! You're such a Peach.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

I just cracked this gem

 

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

How do you organize a party in space?

 

You planet.

[Rainboom24 46]

CONFUCIOUS SAY!: man who run behind car get exhausted. man who run in front of car get tired.