NeverNeverland 1,940 February 21, 2012 Author Share February 21, 2012 So there's two best friends, one's a chemist and the other's a Metal head. -- Chemist: So I was talking to this guy about how he should handle the Rhodium carefully- Metalhead: Whoa... dude, what's Rhodium? Chemist: It's a type of heavy metal. Metalhead: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude... that's fucking heavy. Do they play Power Metal? What about Prog Metal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 February 22, 2012 Share February 22, 2012 (edited) A teacher and a pair of disembodied eyes walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them funny, so the teacher goes: "What, can't a teacher have a drink with his pupils?" (source: Tony DiNozzo and Tim McGee, NCIS, dunno episode) His face was drawn, but the curtain was real. (source: The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time, by Mark Haddon) Oh, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a benevolent god, but it takes a sac of rice to appease him when he's angry. Edited February 22, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive01 5,299 February 22, 2012 Share February 22, 2012 Luke and Anakin, how do you guys walk in the sky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria and Co. 782 February 22, 2012 Share February 22, 2012 I mustache you a question. May eyebrows your computer? Why'd the spy cross the road? He didn't, in fact, he never really was on your SIDE! What's brown and sticky? A stick. Where did the king keep his two armies? Up his sleevies! Okay, I'm done... I am SO very sorry... 2 This is something I do? This is something I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkane 270 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 Dude: I wish I'd just taken engineering as my course. Chick: Huh? Why? Dude: Just so I can build a bridge to you heart. --- Dude: Are you some kind of a twitter? Chick: Huh? Why? Dude: Because I want to follow you always. --- Chick: I wish I was the rain and you were the earth. Dude: Why? Chick: So that at anywhere, you will always fall towards me --- Dude: Are you a computer? Chick: Uhh.. why? Dude: Because I like turning you on. --- Okay.. that's it.. I need to take a bath to wash of the shame.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenor Clef 112 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 Funny gasses. He He He 2 This is my signature. UDig? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espionage 113 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 1.) War does not determine who is right, only who is left 2.) Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One atom says to another, "I think I lost an electron," to which the first replies, "Are you sure?" The atom responds with, "I'm positive." 3.) I saw a Beaver Documentary yesterday. It was the best DAM documentary I've ever seen 4.) It's common knowledge than an irradiated cat has 18 half-lives 5.) Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" 6.) A prisoner uses periods a lot when deciding what type of punctuation to use. It marks the end of his sentence. 7.) When a clown threw a pie at a policeman's face, he was charged for assault and batter-y. So here's your seven deadly puns. Have fun with them. 2 Alea Jacta Est May I Steal Your Soul? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osaka Bomb 39 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 I walked into a pet store to look at the fish. I saw a beautiful girl who worked there feeding them. I walked over to her and made an attempt to flirt with her. She seemed disinterested, but I think she was just being koi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 (edited) Sirius Black: Harry, I must tell you a secret. I'm actually black. Harry Potter: Are you kidding me? Sirius Black: I'm sirius! Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't wanna be spotted. How does a man make coffee? Hebrews it. Can February march? No, but April may. Even as an egg, he was so cocky he got laid. As he grew older, his behavior turned downright fowl. But when he heard he was on today's abattoir rooster, he ran away like a chicken. I called my iPod Titanic, it's synching now. I scream "CONE". After talking about computers for so long, I made my mother board. Edited February 23, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith 1 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shankveld 4,949 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 Jokes about girls on their period aren't funny. Period. ~ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akemi Homura 7,680 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 I changed my iPod's name to "Titanic". It's syncing now. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legendary Emerald 622 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 Mother/Earthbound punz clevelandrock (12:49:51 AM): The UK: The best television programming? The best tea? Those are probably also true. LegendaryEmerald (12:50:17 AM):I agree about TV. LegendaryEmerald (12:50:25 AM):But Nestea > all else LegendaryEmerald (12:50:35 AM):NintenTea is also pretty good though. LegendaryEmerald (12:50:41 AM):It's an older brand. LegendaryEmerald (12:51:14 AM):Much better than LucasTea. clevelandrock (12:51:28 AM):XD LegendaryEmerald (12:51:32 AM):There's also the orange drink LegendaryEmerald (12:51:34 AM):PooTang. clevelandrock (12:51:39 AM):XDD LegendaryEmerald (12:51:51 AM):That's probably the single best Mother series pun ever right there. clevelandrock (12:54:13 AM):I thought it was poontang. LegendaryEmerald (12:54:23 AM):Well yeah LegendaryEmerald (12:54:29 AM):but the pun still totally works. clevelandrock (12:54:32 AM):Totally. Serah Anastos Character Database: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/serah-anastos-r136 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intriguing Individual 4 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJGItzuFkEM Haha! Anyone? Anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keypassion 232 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 The baseball player had a very high-pitched voice. http://www.mlpchat.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legendary Emerald 622 February 23, 2012 Share February 23, 2012 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're just plane wrong. Serah Anastos Character Database: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/serah-anastos-r136 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 February 24, 2012 Author Share February 24, 2012 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keypassion 232 February 24, 2012 Share February 24, 2012 A guitarist was so Baroque, he robbed a music store and ran off with the lute. His percussionist friend took a drum and beat it. 1 http://www.mlpchat.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive01 5,299 February 24, 2012 Share February 24, 2012 (edited) Me: Where's your laptop? Applebloom: What's a laptop? I got a Big Macintosh though Edited February 24, 2012 by Derpity Derp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildCard 1,037 February 24, 2012 Share February 24, 2012 (edited) I dropped my laptop of a boat. It's a Dell, rolling in the deep Edited February 24, 2012 by PonyPunk 1 OC was made by Princess Ariona. Give her some brohoofs here: http://mlpforums.com/topic/22162-so-you-want-a-pony/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mephala 2,633 February 24, 2012 Share February 24, 2012 (edited) This. THIS. Edited February 24, 2012 by PinkieDaShy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 February 25, 2012 Author Share February 25, 2012 My reaction to the Derpy edits in the Last Round Up? This is horse shit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 February 25, 2012 Share February 25, 2012 (I hope this hasn't already been posted) I submitted nine puns to a joke contest, hoping at least one would win, but no pun in ten did. *badum tish* 1 Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosefullaeggs 543 February 25, 2012 Share February 25, 2012 (More of a pickup line) Hey, ya like raisins? How about a date? 3 Physical Health: 6/10Mental Health: -0.527/e Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 February 26, 2012 Author Share February 26, 2012 Apparently, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic has gotten a colt following. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosefullaeggs 543 February 27, 2012 Share February 27, 2012 (edited) Bowlart: "...I'll be Bach." Moose: "I can Handel that." Edited February 27, 2012 by Don Moose del Huevos 3 Physical Health: 6/10Mental Health: -0.527/e Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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