My OC's, let me show you them.

[Gigapony 650]

So I finally sat down and decided to flesh out my band of miscreant OC's a bit more, and I'd like to humbly ask for opinions and help in maybe making them better still.

 

There's a lot of people who will rate OC's here, I've seen; but I don't want to just pick one, so I figured I'd put them here and welcome anyone who wants to give their opinions/advice.

 

I'll have their picture (not coloured, sadly) and a short(ish) bio for each one. I'll start with their leader:

 

Red October:

 

 

Red October is an Earth Pony who has big plans for Equestria. He disagrees with the current system of monarchy and wants to establish a "ponies' republic" where everypony can be equal. The problem is that he's also a power-hungry megalomaniac. Whatever pleasant vision he had of an egalitarian workers' paradise is long gone, and he is now corrupted by a thirst for power disguised as fair leadership.

 

He was formerly a high-ranking military officer, until he was dishonourably discharged for attempting to stir up the fires of a revolution (though he didn't get very far). Now stripped of his army, he was banished to the Foal Mountains where he lived in isolation, plotting to come back again. He would attempt to build a new army, though all he could find was a band of rejects, misfits, and petty criminals. With his small team, he intends on taking over Equestria piece by piece, and he's set his sights on Ponyville first.

 

Red October is a strict disciplinarian, with no tolerance for dissent. He's very organised and efficient, which is the exact opposite of his team. As a result, he spends less time scheming and more time babysitting his motley crew. He normally tries to carry a cool and charismatic demeanour, but it often breaks down into fits of rage when his new comrades don't listen.

 

 

Nurse Ironcross:

 

 

Not much is known about her, where she came from, or who she even is. The first record of her is at Canterlot, where she took employment at a small clinic as a nurse. Immediately she made a reputation as a domineering, cold, and not very friendly individual, known for a complete lack of bedside manner and more interested in curing by force than by kindness. After several complaints, she was sent away. She bounced from hospital to hospital, with similar results for some time until she crossed paths with Red October and became taken by his charisma and the promise of being the top surgeon in his new regime. She joined his team as his new medic.

 

She is utterly cold and emotionless, or at least she tries to be. She becomes flustered and impatient easily and hates when her patients squirm or complain. She has no concern for their discomfort and accuses them of inconveniencing her with their whining. She is oddly obsessed with eggplants and eats them almost exclusively.

 

 

Short Fuse:

 

 

Short Fuse is a former employee of Cloudsdale's weather factory, until they became sick of her constant accidents and got rid of her. She seems to be constantly followed by pain, and everything she touches somehow ends up failing disastrously. All her attempts to create weather turned into spectacular explosions. She was found by Red October and made into the team's demolition "expert" a job she both loves and fears.

 

Short Fuse is extremely neurotic and paranoid about everything (understandably), she has an amazing capacity for getting hurt, and as the weakest member of the team she is also the team's punching bag. Despite this, she's proud to work for Red October as she sees him as the only one who believes in her, and has sworn total allegiance to him.

 

 

Baton Bleu:

 

 

Baton used to work directing traffic in the busy crossroads of Canterlot's famous shopping districts. She loved this job, perhaps a little too much. She took great glee in controlling everypony's movement, and coupled with her arrogant demeanour, she saw herself as their "ruler", infinitely better than them because "Without me, they'd all just crash into each other! What lost little sheep!"

 

She took her job WAY too seriously, screaming and insulting anypony that stepped wrong. And she used her baton in good measure, sending more than a few trendy ponies home with bruises. The more time she spent on the job, the more over-the-top she became. It all came to a head when she yelled at the wrong pony, one Princess Celestia, who she insisted was jaywalking. Like her other future teammates, she too was fired. Feeling that she was set up by "inferior" ponies, she wanted revenge. Enter Red October, and his false promises. She happily joined.

 

 

Wind Shear:

 

 

Wind Shear is a Pegasus from the Far Eastern lands. He left home to pursue a life of crime and made a small name for himself as a petty thug in Los Pegasus. He's a natural bully and only does things when he can be assured that he can get entertainment or profit out of it. He fancies himself an excellent flyer, but he's really just a cocky idiot and a mediocre flyer (though he is pretty fast when escaping). He's loud, obnoxious, boastful, a compulsive liar, and just overall unpleasant. Red October was desperate when he recruited him, but he joined out of boredom, and the expectation of a big payout (he has some... rather big gambling debts to some rather dangerous ponies).

 

He fancies himself a ladies' stallion, and he has made targets of Ironcross and Baton, both of whom detest him utterly. The only pony in the world that he can call a friend is Fallout, who has become his best friend and partner in crime.

 

 

Fallout:

 

 

Fallout is an Earth Pony who once had big dreams to unlock a new way to power Equestria through science. Always a tinkerer and inventor, he tried to unleash the power of the atom... and failed miserably. Now completely irradiated, he's forced to wear his suit at all times. He's taken it all in stride though, after his accident, something in him changed and he lost all motivation and decided to abandon everything. Now he's laid back to a ridiculous degree, and his former genius is wasted on apple cider and lazing about.

 

He joined Red's crew because he didn't have anything better to do. He was hired because of his supposed nuclear expertise, though now he's little more than just the team's muscle (when he feels like it) and he enjoys his new life of crime, caring little for Red's goals. He spends most of his time hanging out with Wind Shear, making stupid jokes, drinking too much cider, and playing pranks.

 

 

Trabant:

 

 

She's the younger sister of Nurse Ironcross, and even more mysterious than she is.

 

She just suddenly showed up one day, nobody knows how or why. She doesn't get along too well with her coldhearted sister (though Ironcross is, for some reason, fiercely protective of her). While Ironcross tries her best to stay emotionless, Trabant actually is emotionless, seemingly feeling only curiosity for these strange feelings other ponies feel, and wishing she could feel them too. She doesn't talk much. In fact she doesn't "talk" at all. All her words come from the voice box on her head, she never opens her mouth. Though she is a Unicorn, she only uses her magic to levitate and teleport.

 

Though she is emotionless, she isn't cruel like her teammates. She has a childlike naivete about her. However, she follows her orders diligently, mostly because of the simple fact that she was told to do it by an apparent authority figure. Red has accepted her into the team, and uses her as surveillance, spying on the others.

 

Though more and more, she seems to be questioning her orders...

 

 

That's it. Please tell me how I can make my OC's better and more complete characters. Anything you think I should change or improve about them, let me know. Even their names are subject to scrutiny, if you think of a better one. Cheers!

 

EDIT: I forgot to include the whole group shot, in case anyone wanted to see it.

 

 

 

Edited July 3, 2013 by Gigapony

[Princess Periwinkle 3,774]

Heh, I'm such a fanboy of your art. 

 

The amount of effort you put into your OCs and their backstories is astounding. I don't really have any criticism, besides Fallout's nuclear accident being (more than) a little off of the show.

 

 

 

She is oddly obsessed with eggplants and eats them almost exclusively.

 

 

Why did this make me laugh so hard?

[Gigapony 650]

Thank you mate, I'm glad you like them. Hopefully they can be a good part of our fanfic.

 

Yes the eggplants bit goes way back to when that character was first made, because I felt she was too "serious" and I wanted to give her a quirk to make her a bit more silly~

 

I agree 100% about Fallout's accident being a little out there for MLP. All of these OC's were created by me for another fandom originally (before I was into ponies), and I've ponified them. Most of them fit in decently enough with a few small modifications, but Fallout was the odd man out. Because the whole centre of his character was the fact he was radioactive, he was very hard to make fit into the MLP lore.

 

I am more than happy to take suggestions for him to make him fit in a bit more. The only things that need to stay constant with him are his laziness, his personality, and his need to wear his suit constantly.

[Princess Periwinkle 3,774]

The suit... I'm tempted to leave it a mystery in the fic as to why he wears it. Could result in some funny moments, I suppose.

 

But what's the fun in that?

 

Maybe he wears it because he's delusional and he thinks he's radioactive. (In reality, nuclear science is only a distant hope for the future).

 

Maybe he wears it because his greatest dream is to work in... Oh I dunno, some place where they wear suits like that or something.

 

That's all I got. 

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

As always, very nice artwork.

Maybe add a thin, sleazy mustache to Wind Shear and change Baton's mane up a bit to make her a bit more distinct from Trixie.

That armband on Ironcross needs to go.

 

I won't comment in detail on the characters' background, because of both my view of bringing real life politics into mlp and how certain political, let's say ideals, have affected me and my family IRL.

[Gigapony 650]

As always, very nice artwork.

Maybe add a thin, sleazy mustache to Wind Shear and change Baton's mane up a bit to make her a bit more distinct from Trixie.

That armband on Ironcross needs to go.

 

I won't comment in detail on the characters' background, because of both my view of bringing real life politics into mlp and how certain political, let's say ideals, have affected me and my family IRL.

Your post really got me thinking. I agree with your view that there shouldn't be too much real-life politics in MLP, though I do think there is room for parody or homage (as the show itself has done before), which these characters were intended to do. Though in retrospect I probably should further file down the more controversial parts of them. Admittedly their pre-pony incarnations were more appropriate for such themes than MLP would be, and it's very important to me that they fit into the spirit of the show.

 

Ironcross' armband will be changed to something a little more neutral, but I'm most curious to hear your advice on Red. I want to keep his military look and persona, but how can I improve him and his story (while also keeping him interesting)?

 

I'd be interested in getting your insight on him, though if you'd prefer not to I completely understand.

 

And of course, everyone else is also welcomed to give their honest opinions.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

NEW POST!

 

I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR THE DOUBLE POSTING!

 

I've done a LOT of brainstorming and made a few small but important changes to my OC's, in hopes of bringing them more in line with MLP and its style.

 

Red October: I've changed his story somewhat. He's going to keep his Stalin-esque look and mannerisms, but he's not longer a blatant communist dictator. He is, however still a megalomaniac, but more in the style of Sombra (and other traditional villains, really). He still wants to take over Equestria, but not to establish a "workers' paradise" but because he just plain wants to rule. He sees the monarchy of Celestia and Luna as weak and undisciplined and he believes it's obsolete. Red October wants to be the new emperor of Equestria, and establish a regime where he is in control of everything. I've also changed his cutie mark from a hammer-and-sickle to a star with a laurel wreath around it, to reflect his Caesar-like despotism. His characterisation will be VERY reminiscent of villains like G1 Megatron and the SatAM version of Robotnik. That is, a very over the top and evil villain who is also very very silly.

 

Fallout: He's no longer the victim of a nuclear accident, per se. He's still a former scientist, but seeing as in MLP science is synonymous with magic, he was an alchemist. Or at least, he tried to be. His last attempt at alchemy had him mixing dangerous potions and it went wrong, blowing up in his face and leaving him (literally) glowing with energy (that looks conveniently like green radiation). He can't contain it very well on his own, and he burns everything he touches, so he has to wear his suit. This makes him potentially the most powerful member of the team, which is completely negated by his laziness and his lack of motivation.

 

That's the best I could come up with for him, so I'm open to any ideas.

 

Nurse Ironcross: She's going to remain unchanged but her armband now reads simply "MEDIC".

 

Note also that while their personalities or stories might come off as slightly dark for MLP, keep in mind that these guys will be played for laughs in every way. Though they do pose a threat, they are very much slapstick villains who are every bit as silly as one would expect from a cartoon.

 

If anyone has any thoughts or opinions, please feel free to voice them! My OC's are yours for the judging. Cheers again!

Edited July 4, 2013 by Gigapony

[~Silver Essence~ 2,621]

My friend, you have the greatest imagination to come up with ponies based on the puns alone!

 

I must also mention that the designs of course look unbelievable as well!

 

Well done buddy! I really like the designs of them all!

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

So I finally sat down and decided to flesh out my band of miscreant OC's a bit more, and I'd like to humbly ask for opinions and help in maybe making them better still.

 

There's a lot of people who will rate OC's here, I've seen; but I don't want to just pick one, so I figured I'd put them here and welcome anyone who wants to give their opinions/advice.

 

I'll have their picture (not coloured, sadly) and a short(ish) bio for each one. I'll start with their leader:

 

Red October:

 

 

Red October is an Earth Pony who has big plans for Equestria. He disagrees with the current system of monarchy and wants to establish a "ponies' republic" where everypony can be equal. The problem is that he's also a power-hungry megalomaniac. Whatever pleasant vision he had of an egalitarian workers' paradise is long gone, and he is now corrupted by a thirst for power disguised as fair leadership.

 

He was formerly a high-ranking military officer, until he was dishonourably discharged for attempting to stir up the fires of a revolution (though he didn't get very far). Now stripped of his army, he was banished to the Foal Mountains where he lived in isolation, plotting to come back again. He would attempt to build a new army, though all he could find was a band of rejects, misfits, and petty criminals. With his small team, he intends on taking over Equestria piece by piece, and he's set his sights on Ponyville first.

 

Red October is a strict disciplinarian, with no tolerance for dissent. He's very organised and efficient, which is the exact opposite of his team. As a result, he spends less time scheming and more time babysitting his motley crew. He normally tries to carry a cool and charismatic demeanour, but it often breaks down into fits of rage when his new comrades don't listen.

 

 

Nurse Ironcross:

 

 

Not much is known about her, where she came from, or who she even is. The first record of her is at Canterlot, where she took employment at a small clinic as a nurse. Immediately she made a reputation as a domineering, cold, and not very friendly individual, known for a complete lack of bedside manner and more interested in curing by force than by kindness. After several complaints, she was sent away. She bounced from hospital to hospital, with similar results for some time until she crossed paths with Red October and became taken by his charisma and the promise of being the top surgeon in his new regime. She joined his team as his new medic.

 

She is utterly cold and emotionless, or at least she tries to be. She becomes flustered and impatient easily and hates when her patients squirm or complain. She has no concern for their discomfort and accuses them of inconveniencing her with their whining. She is oddly obsessed with eggplants and eats them almost exclusively.

 

 

Short Fuse:

 

 

Short Fuse is a former employee of Cloudsdale's weather factory, until they became sick of her constant accidents and got rid of her. She seems to be constantly followed by pain, and everything she touches somehow ends up failing disastrously. All her attempts to create weather turned into spectacular explosions. She was found by Red October and made into the team's demolition "expert" a job she both loves and fears.

 

Short Fuse is extremely neurotic and paranoid about everything (understandably), she has an amazing capacity for getting hurt, and as the weakest member of the team she is also the team's punching bag. Despite this, she's proud to work for Red October as she sees him as the only one who believes in her, and has sworn total allegiance to him.

 

 

Baton Bleu:

 

 

Baton used to work directing traffic in the busy crossroads of Canterlot's famous shopping districts. She loved this job, perhaps a little too much. She took great glee in controlling everypony's movement, and coupled with her arrogant demeanour, she saw herself as their "ruler", infinitely better than them because "Without me, they'd all just crash into each other! What lost little sheep!"

 

She took her job WAY too seriously, screaming and insulting anypony that stepped wrong. And she used her baton in good measure, sending more than a few trendy ponies home with bruises. The more time she spent on the job, the more over-the-top she became. It all came to a head when she yelled at the wrong pony, one Princess Celestia, who she insisted was jaywalking. Like her other future teammates, she too was fired. Feeling that she was set up by "inferior" ponies, she wanted revenge. Enter Red October, and his false promises. She happily joined.

 

 

Wind Shear:

 

 

Wind Shear is a Pegasus from the Far Eastern lands. He left home to pursue a life of crime and made a small name for himself as a petty thug in Los Pegasus. He's a natural bully and only does things when he can be assured that he can get entertainment or profit out of it. He fancies himself an excellent flyer, but he's really just a cocky idiot and a mediocre flyer (though he is pretty fast when escaping). He's loud, obnoxious, boastful, a compulsive liar, and just overall unpleasant. Red October was desperate when he recruited him, but he joined out of boredom, and the expectation of a big payout (he has some... rather big gambling debts to some rather dangerous ponies).

 

He fancies himself a ladies' stallion, and he has made targets of Ironcross and Baton, both of whom detest him utterly. The only pony in the world that he can call a friend is Fallout, who has become his best friend and partner in crime.

 

 

Fallout:

 

 

Fallout is an Earth Pony who once had big dreams to unlock a new way to power Equestria through science. Always a tinkerer and inventor, he tried to unleash the power of the atom... and failed miserably. Now completely irradiated, he's forced to wear his suit at all times. He's taken it all in stride though, after his accident, something in him changed and he lost all motivation and decided to abandon everything. Now he's laid back to a ridiculous degree, and his former genius is wasted on apple cider and lazing about.

 

He joined Red's crew because he didn't have anything better to do. He was hired because of his supposed nuclear expertise, though now he's little more than just the team's muscle (when he feels like it) and he enjoys his new life of crime, caring little for Red's goals. He spends most of his time hanging out with Wind Shear, making stupid jokes, drinking too much cider, and playing pranks.

 

 

Trabant:

 

 

She's the younger sister of Nurse Ironcross, and even more mysterious than she is.

 

She just suddenly showed up one day, nobody knows how or why. She doesn't get along too well with her coldhearted sister (though Ironcross is, for some reason, fiercely protective of her). While Ironcross tries her best to stay emotionless, Trabant actually is emotionless, seemingly feeling only curiosity for these strange feelings other ponies feel, and wishing she could feel them too. She doesn't talk much. In fact she doesn't "talk" at all. All her words come from the voice box on her head, she never opens her mouth. Though she is a Unicorn, she only uses her magic to levitate and teleport.

 

Though she is emotionless, she isn't cruel like her teammates. She has a childlike naivete about her. However, she follows her orders diligently, mostly because of the simple fact that she was told to do it by an apparent authority figure. Red has accepted her into the team, and uses her as surveillance, spying on the others.

 

Though more and more, she seems to be questioning her orders...

 

 

That's it. Please tell me how I can make my OC's better and more complete characters. Anything you think I should change or improve about them, let me know. Even their names are subject to scrutiny, if you think of a better one. Cheers!

 

EDIT: I forgot to include the whole group shot, in case anyone wanted to see it.

 

 

 

I just friggin love your OCS! I mean the work you put into them really shows! My favorite would have to be Red October! I just love all their character designs, but Red's my favorite!

 

Really big fan of your work, and you need to keep this up and show us more in the future! Great job!

 

/)

[WinterFreeze 23]

Sweet celestia those are amazing how did you draw those  they are outstanding and i rate them 9.5/10, but can have things done but rarely anything  so keep drawing 

[Lulamoon 18]

Woah man these are really cool! I really like your art and the character designs / back stories (I kinda wanna do fanart now) I'm glad they're not blatant self-inserts made in Pony Creator.

A comic or story about their escapades would be very enjoyable~!

[Gigapony 650]

Thank you to anyone that liked them, it means a lot to me.

 

Here's a few more, some have seen these three before in my past drawing threads. They're to be the protagonists in the fanfic being written by @ and being developed by us both. It will also feature my evil OC's shown above as the story's villains.

 

 

 

On the right is Creamsicle, in the centre is Strawberry Parfait, and on the left is Prune.

 

Creamsicle is a happy-go-lucky pony whose main concern is making the world around her a happier place. She's very bright and cheerful but she can be a bit impulsive and impatient. Her energetic personality and good sense of humour means that she's often difficult to keep up with and she can be quite a handful, but her heart is always in the right place.

 

Strawberry Parfait is a much more down-to-earth pony and the straight-mare to Creamsicle's silliness. She is very organised and calm and prefers to take things slowly and patiently. She's a neat freak and is very concerned with keeping everything in its proper place. Despite her finicky personality, she's a very gentle pony and cares deeply for her friends, acting as a sort of matriarchal figure for them. She likes her lifestyle and despite Creamsicle's antics she couldn't imagine life without her, and deep down admires her carefree spirit.

 

Creamsicle and Strawberry run an ice cream parlour in Ponyville where they make and sell their sweet treats. Creamsicle handles the creative portion, coming up with creative recipes and flavours and loves interacting with the customers, while Strawberry takes care of the financial and administrative parts of the business, as well as helping to prepare the ice cream. They live together in a flat located above the store.

 

Prune is CS and SP's mutual friend. She doesn't work at the ice cream store, but she frequently stops by to visit with them and grab a snack. Prune is a very pessimistic pony who firmly believes in Murphy's Law. Despite the fact that her predictions rarely come true, she always believes that disaster is right around the corner and one should always be prepared. So she lives a very plain life, always sticking to her routine and never trying anything new for fear of something going wrong. However, she will always lend a hoof to her friends in times of need.

 

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

That's some awesome art work! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'm stuck with using ponycreator and just kind of going over them.... anyway, keep up the good work!

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

 

 

I'd be interested in getting your insight on him, though if you'd prefer not to I completely understan

In my opinion, it would be better to drop the Stalin likeness completely: The man was a mass murderer, there in no way to make that work for mlp. If you want a communist aspect, maybe make him more akin to Karl Marx or a young idealist (think Les Miserables).

 

As for Fallout: I like the alchemist idea, but the rubbersuit makes him look a bit too moder imo. Maybe exchange for a greatcoat and an old-timely gasmask/one of those beaky alchemist masks.

[Gigapony 650]

In my opinion, it would be better to drop the Stalin likeness completely: The man was a mass murderer, there in no way to make that work for mlp. If you want a communist aspect, maybe make him more akin to Karl Marx or a young idealist (think Les Miserables).

 

As for Fallout: I like the alchemist idea, but the rubbersuit makes him look a bit too moder imo. Maybe exchange for a greatcoat and an old-timely gasmask/one of those beaky alchemist masks.

In regards to Red, I must admit it was a poor choice of words on my part when I said "Stalin persona". He's not meant to be a homage to Stalin himself per se, but rather the generic Stalinesque Cold War era image of the "stereotypical communist dictator". I want to stress that he was only ever going to be presented as a traditional cartoon megalomaniac with this sort of "motif" applied to his design and nothing more. However, I do completely understand what you're saying and I'm going to be playing down the communist aspect and portraying him as a simpler caricature of a despotic military general.

 

If its all right, can I pick your brain one more time? I'd like to know if you would have any ideas on a new name for him? One that would be less of a blatant reference to communism while still fitting his military theme.

 

Regarding Fallout, and I don't want to seem as if I'm rejecting your input, but I must disagree on his suit. There's many instances of ponies on the show wearing very modern outfits, and even one scene where a pony wore a near identical hazmat suit. HOWEVER, I have to say that the design you proposed sounds incredibly cool and I'd LOVE to use that for a future OC.

 

Cheers again for the input mate, I really do appreciate you helping me to improve my OC's even if we might disagree on some details.

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

even if we might disagree on some details.

That's life for you.

 

As for a new name, how about "Mad Ivan" or "Mad Boris" come to mind, otherwise just google for Russian names. Chernobog would be another possibility, if you want to be obscure (name of a pagan Slavic devil).

Or Koschei (kinda a generic bad guy/evil wizard in Russian fairy tales).

Edited July 5, 2013 by Silverwisp the Bard

[RobberBrony 12]

Holy crap these are all AMAAAAAAZINNNG

I think my favorite might be Fallout (cause he reminds me a lot of Pyro from TF2) but Nurse Ironcross is a close second. The rest all get a tie for third

I legitimately love everyone of these 

[Onylex 2,836]

All of the art work is very outstanding, I love how much detail you put into each pony and there background stories really peek my interest. Do you plan on making any other ponies to counter balance these ponies? Like a unit that would be out to stop Red October and the other ponies in his group?