Are you too open-minded?

[Midnight Scribbler 1,705]

On this topic, I'm going deep and using metaphor to explain. Cause I know there are dangers to the idea of opening one's mind. They might seem difficult to understand, but hear me out.

 

I've spent my whole life attempting to remain open minded, it's practically a goal of mine to try anything at least once, with a few obvious exceptions. I've found that the mind is like a series of doorways and walls. You can open and close doors, and you can make new ones by breaking down the walls. This right here, is where it can get dangerous. Breaking down your walls is akin to breaking crippling fears or bad habits. They can be good things. But sometimes it can lead you into places you might not like. But when you break yourself a new doorway, remember that some of the wall comes crashing down, burying some old aspects of who you were.

The most dangerous aspect here is, if you break too many openings, the wall comes crashing down on you, and you're left with chaos. This is where irrational and insane thoughts begin to take place, but you won't know they're irrational until you realize people don't view you the same way. I've been there and back again. It took a lot of patching to find my happy medium, but I'm still picking up the bricks.

Bearing this in mind, I believe open mindedness is always important, but be wary when breaking your old ways, sometimes you become a new person. You may or may not like what you become.

Edited October 26, 2013 by Midnight Scribbler

[Mutemutt 772]

Being open-minded is being willing to consider new ideas, not just accept them willy-nilly or deny them just because. To be open-minded is to actually think for yourself; you get the information, weigh your options and come to your own conclusion. Is there ever a time where we shouldn't think for ourselves, a time where we should simply ignore all other possibilities simply because this idea or belief is what we've always believed so it must be true? I don't think so. The irony is that you posing this question is another show of open-mindedness.

 

I don't know if I would say guys liking MLP was "meant" to happen, but it did and I'm glad it did. There isn't much that we are "supposed" to do or like, at least when it comes to societal norms. Most of those unspoken rules of society were arbitrarily decided and informally agreed upon, but they are not impossible to change. In order to change these rules, you have to change minds or, much easier, shape them; that's why teachers have so much power.

[jackleapp81 456]

On this topic, I'm going deep and using metaphor to explain. Cause I know there are dangers to the idea of opening one's mind. They might seem difficult to understand, but hear me out.

 

I've spent my whole life attempting to remain open minded, it's practically a goal of mine to try anything at least once, with a few obvious exceptions. I've found that the mind is like a series of doorways and walls. You can open and close doors, and you can make new ones by breaking down the walls. This right here, is where it can get dangerous. Breaking down your walls is akin to breaking crippling fears or bad habits. They can be good things. But sometimes it can lead you into places you might not like. But when you break yourself a new doorway, remember that some of the wall comes crashing down, burying some old aspects of who you were.

The most dangerous aspect here is, if you break too many openings, the wall comes crashing down on you, and you're left with chaos. This is where irrational and insane thoughts begin to take place, but you won't know they're irrational until you realize people don't view you the same way. I've been there and back again. It took a lot of patching to find my happy medium, but I'm still picking up the bricks.

 

Bearing this in mind, I believe open mindedness is always important, but be wary when breaking your old ways, sometimes you become a new person. You may or may not like what you become.

Holy shit, I love this metaphor! You have managed to reveal the true inner mechanisms of my mind in just a few short paragraphs. I didn't quite know how to define what I had felt before, but this describes it perfectly. I've been there. I now see that I've been in the position of opening too many doors, and collapsing under the weight of all of the different opinions and viewpoints. Thank you so much, I am quite breathless after hearing this. In a good way.

[Midnight Scribbler 1,705]

Holy shit, I love this metaphor! You have managed to reveal the true inner mechanisms of my mind in just a few short paragraphs. I didn't quite know how to define what I had felt before, but this describes it perfectly. I've been there. I now see that I've been in the position of opening too many doors, and collapsing under the weight of all of the different opinions and viewpoints. Thank you so much, I am quite breathless after hearing this. In a good way.

I'm glad my words were helpful.

It came from many months of self reflection after flirting with the brink of insanity. It was a very interesting time in my life when I came to these conclusions.

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,364]

Oh man, and I thought I had it bad. My parents are also pretty conservative, like I can't even say anything moderately blasphemous like "church is boring" or "the Bible is stupid" around them without them blowing a fuse. I remember one night my dad was complaining about people who insult the Vatican and the Bible and what not. Little does he know, in fact he doesn't know at all that I make jokes about religion all the time. If my parents found out about my atheism they would blow a fuse. It's their fault I dislike their religion, if they weren't constantly telling me to cross myself, pray, memorize The Creed, Hail Mary, etc., forcing me to go to church, and all that mumbo jumbo. The annoying part is that my parents are disappointed by the fact that my two elder brothers aren't religious. Which makes me the next target. This one time after being dragged to church my dad was talking about how I "misbehave" in church, that I face the wrong way, never sing, never cross myself, or sit properly. Then he went on and said something about me being "not normal", me being "different", me being "not like everyone else". Well of course I'm different, I'm not a fucking sheep like everyone else. Then he compared me to other people my age who do take religion seriously. I mean FFS my mom got mad at me for not wanting a crucifix in my room, and of course she still hung it there. There's a crucifix in just about every room in the house, is it really necessary for her to hang one in my room? Is having a rosary in the car not enough? The best way to put it is like this; my parents fed me religion, I puked it out, and now I refuse to eat it.

 

When my mom found out that I liked MLP she just laughed at me. My dad doesn't know, and he doesn't really understand this sort of stuff. Boy if my parents saw the kind of music that I like, they would probably blow their top off. My mom's cool with me buying CDs but lucky for me she doesn't go through them. 

 

 

 

He grew up with a father who was the same way. As far as his Dad was concerned, there were certain things for boys, and certain things for girls. As a boy, he was expected to like trucks, tools, and sports, while his sister was expected to like dolls, jewelry, and hair accessories.

Yea, my dad's like this too. I remember he's gotten mad at me for being "girly" and stuff. My parents also get annoyed by the fact that I'm not very athletic. My two older brothers were very athletic at my age and when they compare me to them, it drives me nuts. Apparently, not being interested in playing sports is also "girly". I'm bisexual and agender, I'm not going to bother telling my parents. Although my mom seems to be okay with LGBT people. My dad on the other hand, not so much.

 

 

Do you think that open-mindedness can extend too far?

What? No. If anything this world lacks enough open mindedness. Open mindedness is a gift, a gift that many people lack and that those who do posses it have to suffer because of those who lack it. Unfortunately, it's really hard for those who lack it to get it. 

Edited October 26, 2013 by Mirai Kuriyama

[Koelath 444]

in many cases I see people who claim to be "tolerant" and "open minded" who only succumb to their own version of closed mindedness by demonizing anyone who disagrees with them as racists, sexists, homophobes ect...

 

...Literally the only case in which I've ever seen this is when someone is dealing with a racist, sexist and/or homophobe, in which case it's not "demonizing" so much as "a factual assessment". When has it ever happened otherwise?

Edited October 26, 2013 by Koelath

[Shanks 10,811]

...Literally the only case in which I've ever seen this is when someone is dealing with a racist, sexist and/or homophobe, in which case it's not "demonizing" so much as "a factual assessment". When has it ever happened otherwise?

It happens all the time ignorant people who are losing arguments use these cheap insults for the same reason that trolls call bronies "pedophiles" "homos" and "autistics" (yes people have been desperate and pathetic enough to use that as an insult) because they want to tear the other side down by any means necessary instead of having an actual conversation. If you don't like the president, big government, or illegal immigration than you are a racist. If you don't like abortion than you are a sexist and if you think government should stay out of marriage than you are a homophobe. The mainstream media spews out this bull and these yuppy guilty white hipster liberals are dumb enough to eat this politically correct gobbledygook up while the real racism and sexism gets largely ignored though I will admit some gains are being made against homophobia. The far right only plays the race card with Israel, God help you if you criticize how America has their lips firmly planted on their ass and the Democrats prentend to be more reasonable about that but they are just as sycophantic as the Republicans.

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

Open-mindedness and critical inquiry should go together. It's why you shouldn't believe that black cats will give you bad luck or that there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The difference between closed-mindedness and critical thinking is that the former is about dismissal based on prejudice while the latter deals with putting ideas under proper scrutiny to verify its merits in an objective as opposed to subjective manner. Can you be too open-minded? No. Just be ready to put any idea through its paces.

 

Right then, having read your post, I'm not sure if your dad is ashamed of your interests or ashamed of you altogether. He wants to be proud of you and he has his own criteria for that it seems. Is that really the only purpose he sees in your life? A "thing" to give him a sense of pride for purely arbitrary reasons? Isn't it much more important that you learn to live in the real world? Why focus on something so trivial? Because at the end of the day, how will blind manliness pay the bills, put food on the table or feed a family?

 

Your profile says you're 20 and in college. You may not need to endure this madness for very long.

 

Your father's love is purely conditional, is it not? It's a reward for staying in line and something you need to work for. Is love really meant to be something you must work for? I say; no, it's meant to be something for the person you are.

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

There is such thing as being too open-minded, it's called be gullible, which has nothing to do with this. In the scenario in the OP, the father is being relatively closed-minded, although it is likely out of a desire to raise children that will fit in and be accepted socially. Liking MLP: FiM does not count as being too open-minded, especially when the show was originally meant to be watchable for parents and older brothers, etc. I would propose that anyone in this situation throw their parents a bone. You can't change what you like, but every now and again pretend to be interested in what they want you to be interested in. I'm not saying give up everything you enjoy, just participate in something that will make them happy. That is part of kinship, giving up something for the benefit of the other person.

[FoxyCryptid 4,328]

...Literally the only case in which I've ever seen this is when someone is dealing with a racist, sexist and/or homophobe, in which case it's not "demonizing" so much as "a factual assessment". When has it ever happened otherwise?

 

I can examples, I've seen quite a few people that will label anything that offends them as one of the above regardless of intent or nature. Jokes are a good example, why is inheritly wrong to tell a "gay joke" that the punchline just comes from it being a sex joke? If it's not intended to be hateful how's that any different than telling a heterosexual sex joke? Some people are nearly incapable of separating the concepts "I have no problem with it and I support them, but I'm not going to walk around on eggshells and treat them as special just because they're a minority" from "I hate them" and will treat both as one and the same.

 

On topic, as others have said: The only way you can be "to open minded" is if you start defending completely monstrous people just because they're different. It's as one of my brony friends said "there is good and evil in everyone, but for some people the evil out weighs the good to much for them to be respected". What I'm seeing here is that your Dad is the one with problems to work out, not you.

 

It's times like this I'm glad I grew up in a more open-minded household that didn't go "girls things" "boys things". My Dad once gave the most epic "G.I Joe is just Barbie for boys" speech ever, it involved the lines "hair down to her butt" and "packing a M-60 machine gun".  

[Galen 1,354]

 

 

He was obsessed with the idea of a "proper" son, one who fit his image, and who would fit in with the world's definition of what a son should be like.

 

It's not a matter of your dad trying to have a son that fits in the world's definition of what a son should be, but one who fits HIS definition. Now, he has a right to have some expectation of what you should do in life, altho such interest should not get in the way of his son's own ambitions in any way. If you like MLP, it shouldn't matter. What does matter is that your interests hurt no one, yourself above all, and that you have an admirable life filled with good fortune and kindness. For him to push his own interests on you is anything but kindness. Unfortunately for him, no one person will be the same as him, and you shouldn't be discouraged by the fact that he dislikes the things you do to the extent of insulting you.

 

I understand that you still love him and don't want there to be a wedge between you and him, but the only one to blame for that wedge is him for allowing your interests to form an excuse for him to dislike you. It's petty and materialistic. True love, whether it be between parent and child, siblings, cousins, and indeed complete strangers should not be dependent on crude, material objects and conditions. Being open minded means to be accepting of people's differences. From his perspective, you appear to be too open minded only because his world view is extremely closed. Don't be discouraged. Love the things you love, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong.

[Twilight Circuits 603]

There is no such thing as being too open minded pony. The question behind that comment though, should be; what education is behind the open mind and is it not open enough.

   What you should really consider is telling your father exactly what I told my mother. I'm old enough to make decisions on my own, and you can't tell me what to do. The only thing you you can do is deal with it on your own. I thankyou for expressing your concerns but if that's the best use you can make of your time, you're not worth my time becuase yours isn't spent constructively. Which is unfortunate, becuase even though you chastise and judge me, I still hang out with you dad with little judgement becuase I love you. It's too bad you don't know how to love me in return, and can only defend your limited beliefs about people and what they can achieve.

 

and then walk away and say nothing until he calls you back first.