Best Insults

[Revy ~ Two Hands 862]

What are the best internet insults or retorts you've come across/made?

 

To get the ball rolling here is mine:

 

Gel.

U mad?

You sound upset.

 

 

Bonus points if your insult is mlp related.

[Tanner 186]

A friend once told me this- 

If you were twice as smart, you'll still be stupid. 

 

I think this is hilarious. 

[yeet 2,027]

Once a friend said "your a spastic" so I said "shut up you daft c**t". And today in a shop near my school a kid about half my size who knows im a brony said "move out the way adam, you weird brony loving freak", sadly I couldn't be bothered to say anything back.

[Moost 164]

So you have a big dick huh? I was wondering what that was towering from your head.

 

To anyone who's narcissistic about their genital size.

 

(It's not the best one, but a great comeback none the less). 

[Clarity 3,094]

One of my favorites, heard it from the Top 100 Greatest Insults:

 

 

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[Zhortac 1,474]

I'm not gonna say the best one, because it'll probably be really bad or offensive...so I'll go with the second best I've heard...

 

"If I had a nickle for every time you've said 'f*ck', I'd have enough to buy your mom."

[yeet 2,027]

I'm not gonna say the best one, because it'll probably be really bad or offensive...so I'll go with the second best I've heard...

 

"If I had a nickle for every time you've said 'f*ck', I'd have enough to buy your mom."

if you had a nickel for everytime I said fuck, then you would have a fuck ton of money. Infact you just made another two nickels.

[Dattebayo 2,850]

"Greasy-fisted goo-gobbler" is a good one.

[Zhortac 1,474]

if you had a nickel for everytime I said fuck, then you would have a fuck ton of money. Infact you just made another two nickels.

 

lol. I didn't say that, my friend George did. We were playing Halo 3 online years ago, and some like 10 year old kid, was saying fuck like crazy, pretty much every other word.

[Dattebayo 2,850]

What's the matter, bro? Caterpillar up your a$$?

Edited April 3, 2014 by Dattebayo

[yeet 2,027]

lol. I didn't say that, my friend George did. We were playing Halo 3 online years ago, and some like 10 year old kid, was saying fuck like crazy, pretty much every other word.

halo, halo, best game ever. But yeah them kids are like a disease in online gaming.

[Dr. Vojislav Seselj 691]

Classics: Stroke it pal

 

Jel ti kuci znaju da si peder (Do the people at your home know that you are a f-ggot? The joke is - if they say yes or no, they're still f-gs lol)

 

I remember one night having a trip in 6th grade in a hotel, my roommates were the popular kids, some dude Alex and I were firing insults at each other, I can't remember most of the insults and comebacks I threw at him but I remember this one: Aki pusi svaki (Alex sucks every dick - it rhymes in Serbian)

 

I'll add more when I find them

[Dattebayo 2,850]

How's about you go smoke my pole.

[Scribblegroove 565]

Things to say when you don't care:

 

"BEHOLD! The soil upon which I grow my fucks! Lay thyne eyes upon it, and thou shall see, it is barren..."

 

"Oh, did you hear that? That was the sound of nobody careing."

 

"Look at my face. Look at it closely. Is this the face of someone who gives a shit?"

 

When someone wants to insult you.

 

(stutters while doing so.)

"If you want to insult someone, do it with some commitment, this is just embarrasing for the both of us..."

 

(does it perfectly)

"Oh wow, how long were you waiting to say that? Did you reaherse it for your mom?"

 

When someone says something stupid

 

"Was that practiced or did the dumb just come to you naturally?"

 

When someome asks something stupid

 

"They say there are no stupid questions, but that really depends who is asking. Since you are not a kindergartner, I declare this question stupid..."

 

Best insult ever:

 

"There are 10quadrillion particles in the universe that we can observe, but it seems your mother selected the most moronic and disgusting ones and put them into one idiot..."

[Dr. Vojislav Seselj 691]

How's about you go smoke my pole.

Squidbillies much?

 

Dabogda ti krvavi konj jebao mrtvu sestru na majcinom grobu dok ti tata gleda to u kolicima koje gura tvoja retardirana tetka

 

may a bloody horse fuck your dead sister on your mothers grave while your dad looks at that from a wheelchair being pushed by your retarded aunt

 

Serbs have the best insults

[Guest]

me: *sends pic of me and Chevette to my ex* (he didn't think I had a new boyfriend)

Ex: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA have fun with that

Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHHAHA

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Ex: what's so funny?

Me: You were the one doing it.

Ex: Am I not allowed to laugh at you and your new bf?

Me: You shouldn't be, at least Chevette doesn't look like a lesbian woman... or Ellen Degenerous.

[Scootalove 10,689]

''A once great man once said, if you can't back up your evidence you can't handle the truth.''

[Dr. Vojislav Seselj 691]

"There are 10 million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe, your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd."

Fixed

 

Jesi prdnuo ili prirodno smrdis?

Did you just fart or do you naturally stink?

[LittleRawr 679]

 

 

Dabogda ti krvavi konj jebao mrtvu sestru na majcinom grobu dok ti tata gleda to u kolicima koje gura tvoja retardirana tetka

 

Huh, some of those words sound like Russian ones.

 

As for insults, I can't think of any right now. Maybe I'll remember some later.  

[King Sejong 859]

   When it comes to insults no one is better at verbal maiming than Malcolm Tucker played by the twelfth doctor Peter Capaldi, I loved this exchange between Peter and the late James Gandolfini, from the British comedy "In the Loop."

 

 

[LittleRawr 679]

Serbian. I remember you, you from Abu Dhabi right? Or Dubai, I can't remember. How the hell do you know Russian? stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk

 

Well, I'm a Russian living in Dubai, so that's how I know Russian :v

 

On topic: Ah I remember one now

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Edited April 6, 2014 by SCS
Removed quoted material that was hidden.

[yeet 2,027]

Frankly, I think most of my insults are either terrible, or too offensive to post here.

[Zhortac 1,474]

Frankly, I think most of my insults are either terrible, or too offensive to post here.

 

Yeah, that's why I withheld the best one I ever heard.

[Dr. Vojislav Seselj 691]

Well, I'm a Russian living in Dubai, so that's how I know Russian :v

 

On topic: Ah I remember one now

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

 

Ah. That's fucking cool. I wish I was there. Actually I wish I was anywhere instead of this hell hole

you can swim everyday of the year, almost never rains. I wish I won the lottery so I can fly there via Air Serbia.

Dream city. You must live the life.

 

Ontopic: fuck you and your country music singing fucking face

[LittleRawr 679]

 

 

Ah. That's fucking cool. I wish I was there. Actually I wish I was anywhere instead of this hell hole you can swim everyday of the year, almost never rains. I wish I won the lottery so I can fly there via Air Serbia. Dream city. You must live the life.

 

Dubai may be perfect for tourists, but it's not that great for the people who actually live here. Oh, and ironically it rained just now. However for most of the year, the weather is too hot to even go outside. 

It's a average-ish place to live in, really. Unless you're extremely rich that is. 

 

OT: If I throw a stick, will you leave?