Hat988

If you could bring an item or specific knowledge that would have been completely foreign to the ancient world to it, what would it be? Would it make people treat you like a wizard? You also have the means to maintain and fabricate more (e.g. rubber tyres). I would bring a mountain bike.

It has happened twice. The first time was short and is not remembered but it primed me for the second time so I recognised what was happening. I didn't panic nor did I think I was supposed to. It was interesting to watch and be without bodily concerns for a short time. I waited until I could move again but I didn't force it. If I was okay like that for hours during sleep I could wait a few more minutes

Since it is only for one day I would be something that would benefit my usual self. An example of a physical transfer would be by becoming someone very rich and sending my usual self a portion. But I would choose to be whoever I think is the most mature in their intelligence and bring what I saw in that mind to my usual one.

Fishy

Ip Man movies were great. I recommend them.

You are welcome I know at least in Word (does that come on iPad?) if you disable automatically adding spaces between paragraphs it can copy easier onto Fimfiction.

This one is hard to read because it is without paragraphs so I’ll review it from the link (so if there are any differences between here and there you won’t be confused). It makes it easier again to read if you use a new line for each time a character uses dialogue. For example: Squarked Twilight. You invented a new word! But I don’t know if it’s a squawk or a yell or something so I cannot imagine very well what Twilight is doing here. Rainbow Dash then ‘moaned’, ‘frowned’, then Twilight ‘yelped’ and so on. Almost all of the time, it is much better to write ‘said’, using these adverbs very rarely (for effect). The objective is to convey enough information in the dialogue itself and context in which it is spoken so that the reader does not need to be told ‘she yelped’. ‘Said’ is quicker to read; the line is registered almost automatically, but if you put something else there whoever is reading will have to correct himself (e.g. already imagined Twilight said it hurriedly, but then has to change his memory so she also yelped while saying it). There is also a large amount of dialogue making the story read almost like a transcript. Try first to describe what the characters are doing without using any dialogue at all. How much can you show without saying it explicitly? Twilight might be pulling books out of her spell practicing shelf and getting flustered. It would be pretty obvious then she cannot find what she is looking for. This gives the reader something more to be interested in. Rather than being told outright, reader can exercise his own intelligence to guess (your description can make sure he guesses well) and if he thinks he knows what is happening, you can then say in dialogue a surprise like: Chapter 1 is lot more interesting (not saying prologue is bad) because you are describing what Rainbow is going through instead of simply saying “I’m confused”. There is more to be curious about as well, especially the ending. There is also escalation. Rainbow is doing what seems to be fairly reasonable and it still gets worse for her. There is a significant amount of change from the start of the chapter to its finish. But the start of chapter 2 makes it feel like there was not much progression at all. It is much too similar to the start of chapter 1; waking up with a bad headache. It is like all of chapter 1 was merely to get Rainbow to understand something then start again. She is also giving up too easily (going back to sleep). She has just discovered a new world. Shouldn’t there be more moving around/discovery/adventure? At least for a bit. You can use that opportunity to explore settings that you might want to use later in the story so the reader is already familiar with them by the time you really use them. Even though she was just run over this can still happen. Maybe there could be symbolic dreams, mingled with what is actually happening around her bed. The chapter gets better quickly though, just the start is the problem. What if there were more of the aliens? What if? It’s not even clear if they’re a threat yet. Would Rainbow say ‘blimey’? Easy to fix stuff: Practise - > Practice “You sure could use one..” -> “You sure could use one…” “Hey, I found your-“ -> “Hey, I found your—“ (em dashes are used for interruptions, alt+0151 on numpad is the hotkey). This applies to other bits in your story but I haven’t listed them. Put space before ( I only read up to chapter 3 but I think you are doing really well with a story that can be interesting in many ways! I hope what I have said helps.

(OP from merged topic) "Gee, I'd really like to be a space marine." ... but it's not possible! In all the characters, roles and situations that are presented in fiction (books/movies/shows) are there any that you think would be a better match for you than what this universe can give you? Or are you happy with yourself in the current universe? That is good too! I'm reading the manga Claymore right now. The characters, nicknamed 'claymores' are people made into half-monster so they can keep up with the monsters and slay them. This makes them more powerful than regular humans which also means they only need to eat every few weeks and can heal without help. They are pretty much completely self-sufficient and are given assignments by their organisation. Sword-fighting is not feasible in a world with guns, so, even though it's a painful profession, I think that would be the best suit for me. Your turn I gave this a movies/TV tag because there is no option for 'all'.

I am interested in reading which TV shows are memorable for the first episode (or episodes if multi-parter) alone. Which shows had the strongest start? I have to say the miniseries and first episode of Battlestar Galactica were the best of the entire five seasons. There were so many characters to introduce but it never felt rushed or slow.

Has anyone seen Caprica or BSG? That would probably be one of the worst worlds to live on from what is seen in the shows. I'd like to live in Equestria because of the peace.

I enjoy this show. It's not near my favourite shows but it's very funny at times. It has a style of storytelling that is aware of the common tropes and doesn't let convention get in the way of humour. Spoiler: for example, the bit where he stabs Marceline's demon dad while he is distracted making amends with his daughter. My favourite character by far is Lemongrab. I actually find there's a lot to like in him. He doesn't know how to deal with people but he persists. Despite all the pranks he keeps on running the castle (which he is rightfully entitled to in the episode).

Purple.

I just got through Dishonored and it was pretty fun. I am a little disappointed I can only replay the levels with the abilities I had when I completed them. What do you think overall of it? Maybe share your adventures. I just stealth-killed everyone in Lady Boyle's party without raising suspicion; it was really good too as the music and background talking sounds lowered as I went. This is great if you are playing on PC: http://www.pcgamesn.com/dishonored/dishonored-pc-improvement-guide-increase-fov-disable-intro-movies-more

These two have bad reviews so I'm not sure how scary it is for others: The New Daughter (2009) Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) but it got a bit comical at times. And Paranormal Activity 1 - I would say that's the most 'realistic' or believable telling of ghosts so it was scary because of that. I haven't really seen many horror movies

I Wanna Be The Guy was tough, but it's not so hard once you remember what attacks he does and the timing. It's mostly trial and error as nothing unexpected happens. Still, it takes a lot of trial and error!