Ask a Nerd. Or Ask a Puddle of Water. I'm Not Picky.

[Duality 10,740]

Ask me things.

Things about science, maths, the theory of relativity, grammar, quantum physics, fluffy animals, string theory, what life as a puddle of water is like, [insert impressive-sounding scientific theory here], what life as a lump of squishy skin-coated intestines is like, why hugs are like the best thing ever, or literally anything else. Whatever vile and malformed query your twisted mind may concoct, I shall try desperately to answer it.

Also, I can tell you nifty archaic insults to use on your worst enemies. I'm pretty good at that. 

 

EDIT: Just to disperse any suspiciously plausible rumours of stagnancy in my intellectual development, I now know stuff about infinity too. Plus M-theory, Noether's theorem, Ramanujan's terrifyingly numerous forays into unexplored corners of number theory, and how to classify dirt. Odds are that the dirt you're thinking of is either topsoil (organic clayey SILT, dark brown. Firm, wet, low plasticity) or some normie sub-topsoil dirt (probably something like silty CLAY, orange streaked light grey. Very stiff, moist, low plasticity).

Show me vivid turquoise dirt and I'll show you alluvial sandy clay. Make my day, punk.

Edited April 25, 2020 by Duality

[Deleted3133333 3,560]

Let's say I knew someone who wanted to be a puddle of water. For simplicity's sake, we will call this person Tom, because that is his name.

Now, let's say that Tom was not a puddle of water, but was, in fact, a human.

Additionally, let's say that Tom was willing to do anything to leave his human form and become a puddle of water.

How would Tom go about evolving to the form of a puddle of water?

[ImDaMisterL 532]

Do you give out hugs for free or like, 5 cents each?

[Duality 10,740]

14 hours ago, ShadowDash13 said:

Let's say I knew someone who wanted to be a puddle of water. For simplicity's sake, we will call this person Tom, because that is his name.

Now, let's say that Tom was not a puddle of water, but was, in fact, a human.

Additionally, let's say that Tom was willing to do anything to leave his human form and become a puddle of water.

How would Tom go about evolving to the form of a puddle of water?

Evolution has nothing to do with it, I'm afraid. If Tom wants to be a puddle of water, he simply needs to be a puddle of water. If Tom is, in fact, a human, there is no point in him trying to evolve into a puddle of water because he is not, in fact, a puddle of water. It's all in how you define the state of being a 'puddle of water'.

Alternatively, if metaphysical philosophy isn't really his thing, Tom could stuff half a bushel of thyme up his nose on the full moon at Stonehenge and get ritually run over by a chocolate-coated steam roller. I hear good things about that procedure.

13 hours ago, ImDaMisterL said:

Do you give out hugs for free or like, 5 cents each?

Under current currency conversion rates, it actually works out to about 27 euros per hug, factoring in GST and shipping costs. Closer to 19 euros each if you order in bulk. If you're a good hugger, though, I'll give them on discount.

[Vulcan 3,254]

Ooh okay.... Ehm this is one I asked in physics once... 

How many ideal pulleys would it take for an average person to lift the Empire states building off the ground D: 

 

[Duality 10,740]

1 hour ago, Coffee said:

Ooh okay.... Ehm this is one I asked in physics once... 

How many ideal pulleys would it take for an average person to lift the Empire states building off the ground D: 

I dunno how good your working knowledge of pulleys is, so I'll go from scratch.

In an ideal pulley system, of the type pictured below, the number of linked pulleys = the number of times more weight you can lift with the pulley system than you would otherwise be able to (due to the fact that the tension force in a pulley-threaded rope must be the same at all points along its length).

In the above diagram, for example, there are 4 pulleys; hence one can lift 4 times more weight with this pulley system than one would otherwise be able to.

The Empire State Building weighs 325,000,000 kg, and your standard human can lift about 20 kgs with some exertion. Therefore, one needs roughly 325,000,000 / 20 = 18,250,000 pulleys linked in sequence (as in the above diagram) to lift the ESB.

 

 

Did you get an answer for your question when you asked it in your Physics class? I don't even remember if I ever studied pulleys, so I just looked this all up on Wikipedia. Heh, it's like Einstein said: "Intelligence is not the ability to store information, but to know where to find it".

[Snow 7,004]

Small body of water; what is your opinion on extremely large bodies of water?

(an example)

[Vulcan 3,254]

I love that answer o3o

Its like the work of a super villain 

Would you rather be able to warp safely through space or time? 

[Duality 10,740]

18 hours ago, Snow said:

Small body of water; what is your opinion on extremely large bodies of water?

Excuse me?! I'm an infinitely large body of water, actually, assuming Euclidean space-time. My profile picture just has a border to prevent your tiny mortal minds being blown by my unbounded hugeness.

As such, my opinion of 'extremely large bodies of water' is as follows: They're really, really, small.

Also really, really, full of themselves.

18 hours ago, Coffee said:

I love that answer o3o

Its like the work of a super villain

I spotted a typo. That 'like' shouldn't be there. 

18 hours ago, Coffee said:

Would you rather be able to warp safely through space or time? 

I hate to pick apart the question, but Einstein's Theory of Relativity says that space and time are part of the same 4-dimensional expanse, and hence that warping through space and warping through time are effectively the same thing when viewed from different perspectives, especially in situations when the speeds, relative to each other, of the people providing perspectives approach the speed of light.

TL;DR: Warping through space is warping through time - and vice versa - just considered from a different perspective. So I choose both.

Edited June 24, 2017 by Duality

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

2 galactic years ago, I was on a diplomatic mission to Xanthu 4 where I was mediating a dispute between the Kla'tik Mining Consortium (KMC) and Consolidated Friz-Bo Technologies (CFT), from the planet ‘Hick-Ta’ah. KMC was using quantum scanners provided by CFT to search for Feckbar minerals, which, as you know, can’t be detected with standard multiband scanners. The agreement stated that CFT would get 20% of the net sales of the minerals in exchange for use of the scanners.

However, on one planet, the geomagnetic field was interfering with the quantum scanners so KMC used a landing party and found some minerals. KMC claims that CFT is not entitled to any share of the minerals because KMC was not using the quantum scanners at that time. But CFT claims that the agreement applies to the entire survey mission, regardless of whether or not they use their scanners.

KMC claims that the high cost of using the landing party means they should get a higher share of that lode, but I think this point is irrelevant. Anyway, the minerals are sitting in a warehouse while this dispute is resolved. I was asked to mediate it because of my background in quantum scanner technology, and because I breathe the same atmosphere as the ‘Hick-Ta’ahs.

So my question is this: what color of tie should I wear?

[Duality 10,740]

9 minutes ago, BronyNumber42 said:

2 galactic years ago, I was on a diplomatic mission to Xanthu 4 where I was mediating a dispute between the Kla'tik Mining Consortium (KMC) and Consolidated Friz-Bo Technologies (CFT), from the planet ‘Hick-Ta’ah. KMC was using quantum scanners provided by CFT to search for Feckbar minerals, which, as you know, can’t be detected with standard multiband scanners. The agreement stated that CFT would get 20% of the net sales of the minerals in exchange for use of the scanners.

However, on one planet, the geomagnetic field was interfering with the quantum scanners so KMC used a landing party and found some minerals. KMC claims that CFT is not entitled to any share of the minerals because KMC was not using the quantum scanners at that time. But CFT claims that the agreement applies to the entire survey mission, regardless of whether or not they use their scanners.

KMC claims that the high cost of using the landing party means they should get a higher share of that lode, but I think this point is irrelevant. Anyway, the minerals are sitting in a warehouse while this dispute is resolved. I was asked to mediate it because of my background in quantum scanner technology, and because I breathe the same atmosphere as the ‘Hick-Ta’ahs.

So my question is this: what color of tie should I wear?

Beige-mauve. That's practically Hick-Ta'ahian diplomacy 101; how is it not obvious?

Unless, of course, the scanners in question had a Zuckbergg Serial Number less than Arg(45 - 3.7i). That would complicate things...

Edited June 24, 2017 by Duality

[Vulcan 3,254]

You saw right through my trick question , Mr. Duality.... Touche

What are you currently studying? (if you're in college) if not then, What are your hobbies? 

 

 

 

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

Just now, Duality said:

Mauve. That's diplomacy 101; how is it not obvious?

Unless, of course, the scanners in question had a Zuckbergg Serial Number less than Arg(45 - 3.7i). That would complicate things...

Don't get me started on the Zuckbergg Serial Numbers. No, they're out of range. Yeah, I think my color changing tie has a mauve setting. I just hope the Xanthus can see in that wavelength. Thanks. I'll come to you for all of my interstellar diplomatic questions.

[Frostgage 7,975]

What made you interested in studying mathematics and the like?

[Duality 10,740]

10 minutes ago, Coffee said:

You saw right through my trick question , Mr. Duality.... Touche

What are you currently studying? (if you're in college) if not then, What are your hobbies?

Not in college, but I'm studying engineering (I've done a status or two about my academic hijinks, if you're interested).

My hobbies (I'm gonna answer both your questions 'cos I'm an overachiever like that) consist of, as mentioned on my profile, collecting/accumulating stuff, reading high-brow fantasy - that is, high-brow fantasy with a sense of humour, not the LotR feature-length guy-throws-a-ring-in-a-volcano-the-end sort of spam - and excessive use of sub-sentences and/or syntactical connectives to make precisely-90-word-long follow-on chains of words; in addition, I like toying with you mortals' minds and watching you weep making everything better with irony (count up the words; hyphenateds count as one, slasheds count as multiple).

Also, I like Minecraft.

1 minute ago, Frostgage said:

What made you interested in studying mathematics and the like?

I don't actually know. My mum doesn't like maths that much - she's quite fond of chemistry, though - and my dad, while he likes maths, never tried to indoctrinate me in its mind-consuming ways except subliminally.

I read a series of books when I was younger called Murderous Maths; that might have assisted me on my gradual slide into insanity. But I didn't really become interested in maths during any particular time in my life. I just... was interested in it. And still am. And probably will be until someone takes me to some sort of rehabilitation programme.

3 hours ago, BronyNumber42 said:

Don't get me started on the Zuckbergg Serial Numbers. No, they're out of range. Yeah, I think my color changing tie has a mauve setting. I just hope the Xanthus can see in that wavelength. Thanks. I'll come to you for all of my interstellar diplomatic questions.

I have a nightclass every twelfth Uujday near the Hick-Ta'ahian Civic Centre if you're interested. Only costs thirty-seven Qcpek per session.

[Techno Universal 2,575]

So what do think on my theory of the universal system and MLP? How well has it been engineered?

 

[Duality 10,740]

13 hours ago, Techno Universal said:

So what do think on my theory of the universal system and MLP? How well has it been engineered?

It's very original, and quite a good theory. Just a few things that might need a bit more explanation in your theory:

Firstly, how does your robot alicorn O.C. keep your brain functioning, if your brain is your original, biological, human brain? Human brain cells die over time, just like human body cells. Plus, your spinal cord also plays a major part in the functioning of your brain, so you'd probably need that too. And all sorts of organs are essential for emotions, not just your central nervous system. It's a little-known fact, but the human body is actually thousands of times more advanced, efficient, and integrated than any supercomputer, cutting-edge robot, or other smart-technology we have. Even a single human cell has abilities far beyond any large-scale mechatronics' abilities to replicate.

Secondly, if ponies were actually factory-made using magic over the course of 2000 years or so in order to fix the Earth, and are constantly watched over by you and Lauren Faust even on the new formerly-wasteland planet you terraformed into Equestria, why is it that they still bleed when they're cut and die when they're old just like humans? You could have made them immortal robots just like yourself, but instead they're biological, death-fated creatures just like the humans they were originally intended to help. That doesn't seem very nice, if you get what I mean.

Thirdly, you might want to go into more detail on how your 'universal energy' magic works. Energy doesn't usually come from nowhere, and this magical energy plays a major role in your theory. Even if you say that you get magic from some wormhole or alternate dimension or something, that's better than just not explaining the point.

 

Other than those three things, it's a pretty good theory. All of what I've said here is entirely intended as constructive criticism; in no way am I attempting to pick holes in your hard work.

[Techno Universal 2,575]

3 hours ago, Duality said:

It's very original, and quite a good theory. Just a few things that might need a bit more explanation in your theory:

Firstly, how does your robot alicorn O.C. keep your brain functioning, if your brain is your original, biological, human brain? Human brain cells die over time, just like human body cells. Plus, your spinal cord also plays a major part in the functioning of your brain, so you'd probably need that too. And all sorts of organs are essential for emotions, not just your central nervous system. It's a little-known fact, but the human body is actually thousands of times more advanced, efficient, and integrated than any supercomputer, cutting-edge robot, or other smart-technology we have. Even a single human cell has abilities far beyond any large-scale mechatronics' abilities to replicate.

Secondly, if ponies were actually factory-made using magic over the course of 2000 years or so in order to fix the Earth, and are constantly watched over by you and Lauren Faust even on the new formerly-wasteland planet you terraformed into Equestria, why is it that they still bleed when they're cut and die when they're old just like humans? You could have made them immortal robots just like yourself, but instead they're biological, death-fated creatures just like the humans they were originally intended to help. That doesn't seem very nice, if you get what I mean.

Thirdly, you might want to go into more detail on how your 'universal energy' magic works. Energy doesn't usually come from nowhere, and this magical energy plays a major role in your theory. Even if you say that you get magic from some wormhole or alternate dimension or something, that's better than just not explaining the point.

 

Other than those three things, it's a pretty good theory. All of what I've said here is entirely intended as constructive criticism; in no way am I attempting to pick holes in your hard work.

Now things like these I could of added previously but I wanted to keep it to a general idea so it didn't get to confusing for people.

 

1. My OC has a universal energy preservation system in his brain that loops the natural brain cell creation process that keeps his brain in it's maximum cell capacity state. It even works on a battery backup if his generator isn't running and if the generator was shut down by something it would put his brain into a state of hyper sleep and it can keep him internally alive for billions of years without his generator running. Now the logic functions of his spinal cord are actually being emulated by the CPU in his head and all sensory input and output are also de-coded through the CPU so they can be processed correctly by the brain.

 

2. Still if one of the ponies died in equestria they would be moved to live in Troneon with the humans. But still that's something I wouldn't allow so I would have several precautions in place to prevent any injury events from happening in the first place. 

 

3. Now I've theorised that universal energy is actually the level down from the quantum world. It's basically the core binery system behind everything and in the CPUs it was exploited in a way where it could operate as a computer and the CPUs are soo powerful to the point where they could run several entire universes within them even though that they are as small as a present day CPU.

 

I'll add these things to the theory page when I get time to!

[VinylWubs 1,252]

Damn okay.. Little question that have been bothering me all this time.

How long would it take to completely drain out the earth's water using ONLY 1 bucket?

[Duality 10,740]

5 hours ago, VinylWubs said:

How long would it take to completely drain out the earth's water using ONLY 1 bucket?

There's about 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 litres of water in the ocean. Your average bucket holds about 2 litres. If you can move one bucket of water every 3 seconds, then it'll take you (1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 / 2)*3 seconds to drain the entire ocean. That works out to about 1,890,000,000,000,000,000,000 seconds, or 59,900,000,000,000 years.

I recommend using a space laser to vapourise the ocean, if you're going for efficient drainage. If your pocket money doesn't cover that sort of thing, 59,900,000,000,000 years of employment, at an average of $30,000 per annum, gives you roughly $1,797,000,000,000,000,000 ($1,797,000,000 trillion) to buy your space laser. That's about 29,950,000 times more money than there is in the entire world, so that should be enough to buy a laser with enough left over to give you a comfortable retirement.

[Kiri 7,288]

Let's say a thirsty bird comes along, sees you, and wants to take a drink. Do you let it, or do you protect yourself? 

[Duality 10,740]

On ‎26‎/‎06‎/‎2017 at 3:32 PM, Lady Kiriness said:

Let's say a thirsty bird comes along, sees you, and wants to take a drink. Do you let it, or do you protect yourself? 

I let it drink, because eventually that thirsty little bird will die and, due to the amazingness that is the water cycle, I'll get my water back.

Morbidity ftw.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Duality

[Deleted3133333 3,560]

Thank you for your assistance with the case of Tom. He is not very happy with his inability to become water, but he will get over it.

My next question: What is your opinion of water that is not currently in it's liquid state, such as ice?

[Duality 10,740]

5 minutes ago, ShadowDash13 said:

Thank you for your assistance with the case of Tom. He is not very happy with his inability to become water, but he will get over it.

Did he try the ritual steamroller method?

5 minutes ago, ShadowDash13 said:

My next question: What is your opinion of water that is not currently in it's liquid state, such as ice?

It's either gassy or just plain dense. Neither option inspires much fraternal affection.

[Frostgage 7,975]

Do you have a standalone favorite FiM or EG song?