Ask a Royal Guard

[DJ Cadence 58]

Sooo...How do you get to be one of Celestias Royal Guards?

[Jadefire 2,797]

Yo, everypony. Aevum Shield had other business to attend to, but I'm still here to answer your questions, all by my lonesome.

Did you ever think implementing Muskets and bayonets into your arsenal?

 

We tried that once. It didn't ...work out well. Right now, the Princess wants all government organizations to only use technology developed in our dimension. Which is complete bulls*yay*t, by the way. <..<

 

But, whether we like it or not, until we ponies learn how to make gunpowder on our own we won't be using human-developed weapons.

 

Don't ask me how she intends us to defend Equestria if we get invaded by the Soviet Union again. -..-

 

What do you do when you are not working as guard?

 

Depends. If we're just off shift or if we have to go back to work within a few hours, we usually just hang out near the castle or in the barracks. Every Friday is poker night. Which reminds me, Aevum still owes me 50 bits. <..<

 

We're free to go home if we're given longer leave, in which case what each pony does is their own business. I mean really, what do you-er, nevermind.

 

Okay, I've been meaning to ask this for some time now. When Spike was destroying Ponyville as a fully grown dragon, what were you all doing?

 

Meh, wasn't our problem at the time. Ponyville didn't fall under our jurisdiction, but we did send the Wonderbolts their way. Was that not enough?

 

Sooo...How do you get to be one of Celestias Royal Guards?

 

You can enlist like we mentioned before, or you can be picked up in a recruiting drive like I was. But don't expect to automatically be able to get in. The Royal Guard screens potential recruits harshly; often it's impossible to be accepted into training to begin with without being distinguished in some other field. Edited June 3, 2012 by Jadefire

[WildCard 1,037]

Is there any pony you have a crush on?

[Jadefire 2,797]

Is there any pony you have a crush on?

 

Aevuh-I-mean-*ahem* No, there isn't. What is this, high school?

[WildCard 1,037]

Aevuh-I-mean-*ahem* No, there isn't. What is this, high school?

 

Awww, looks like you've lied and didn't become a guard for the b*tches

How many days a week do you work?

[AnonyPoni 564]

Dark, can you walk on clouds?

[Jadefire 2,797]

Awww, looks like you've lied and didn't become a guard for the b*tches

How many days a week do you work?

 

*blows raspberry*

 

Anyways, it varies from week to week. I can't really give ya a straight answer to that question. But rarely less then 4.

 

Dark, can you walk on clouds?

 

'Course I can, I'm a freakin' Pegasus. Even if I AM not as feathery as the high-and-mighty other pegasai.

 

And before you ask, no, we don't sleep upside-down from the ceiling, either. We teach our foals to stop that by Kindergarten.

[Glaceon 793]

Well i see some of the guards are unicorns what is the extent of your magical powers?

[AnonyPoni 564]

Does your Cutie mark have to be military related to get in?

[Jadefire 2,797]

Dark Moonbeam had other priorities to deal with, so I'll answer the next round of questions.

 

Well i see some of the guards are unicorns what is the extent of your magical powers?

 

The unicorns recruited into the guard are heavily trained in combat magics, in addition to physical prowess. While they're maybe not as powerful or dangerous as those in Canterlot's Society of Sorcery, everypony we have are a cut above the rest.

 

Does your Cutie mark have to be military related to get in?

 

Yes and no. It's not a requirement per se, but it's essentially impossible to have the qualifications necessary to be accepted into the Guard unless you're special talent is suited for us in some way or another.

[WildCard 1,037]

What do you like most about your job?

[AnonyPoni 564]

Question

 

(I had to do this eventually)

 

Moonbeam, what do you know about your history? Are Pegasi from the Pransylania taught about the story of "The Good King"?

[Jadefire 2,797]

What do you like most about your job?

 

It's fulfilling work, really. We keep the peace, and everypony in Canterlot depends on us. Sure it gets boring sometimes, as Dark likes to point out, but it's fulfilling to know that ponies depend on us to keep them protected.

 

(I had to do this eventually)

 

Moonbeam, what do you know about your history? Are Pegasi from the Pransylania taught about the story of "The Good King"?

 

(Oh you.)

 

I don't think I'm familiar with that one, to be-

 

Aha!

 

Gah!

 

Ah, The Good King. Now that's a tale we're all proud of.

 

Where did you come-

 

Come on, Aev, don't tell me you haven't heard the story.

 

...I'm not sure if I have, to be honest.

 

What? Come on, it's about that Unicorn madpony who tried to destroy Equestria right after it was founded.

 

Oh, is this the one where the-

 

Yep, where us Malumai came in and saved everypony's sorry asses. True story.

 

Ah right, that one. You've told me it before. ...many times.

 

Damn straight. *turns back to Anoni* To answer your question, yeah, I know all about the story of The Good King. It's a rich part of our culture.

 

Dark here may be a bit biased, considering he's related to what's-his-name.

 

Yep. *beams proudly* I'm a direct descendent of Indigo himself. Out of his second son's first wife.

 

That's ...very specific.

 

Hey, we researched my pedigree well. I wouldn't declare that kind of thing if I didn't know it was true, you know.

 

yes you would.

 

What was that?

 

Nothing.

 

That's what I thought.

Edited July 3, 2012 by Jadefire

[Nouth 496]

Do you Royal Guards also take care of prisoners and guarding the dungeons or is there another specific force for this ?

[WildCard 1,037]

What happens if a bat-pony and a normal pony would reproduce. Would it look like a bat-pony, a normal one, or just have a few of the characteristics(f.e. just bat wings, fluffy ears, the eyes,...)?

 

2nd question: Are there any female guards too?

[AnonyPoni 564]

What happens if a bat-pony and a normal pony would reproduce. Would it look like a bat-pony, a normal one, or just have a few of the characteristics(f.e. just bat wings, fluffy ears, the eyes,...)?

 

2nd question: Are there any female guards too?

 

Your question is very dangerous....

 

 

And for the Guards, When was the official Equestrian Military founded?

 

(Hint Hint)

 

And by the way, Dark, if you are related to the Archon's Ancient, did you inherit his... mane color?

Edited July 3, 2012 by AnonyZiod

[WildCard 1,037]

Your question is very dangerous...

 

Why is my question dangerous?

Those two seem like nice guys anyways

[Jadefire 2,797]

Do you Royal Guards also take care of prisoners and guarding the dungeons or is there another specific force for this ?

 

There's a different branch of the Royal Guard that handles the dungeons and incarceration duties in Canterlot, but the general public doesn't usually see them. Most ponies only ever see the white bodyguards and the gray city guards.

 

They're generally not very nice ponies.

What happens if a bat-pony and a normal pony would reproduce. Would it look like a bat-pony, a normal one, or just have a few of the characteristics(f.e. just bat wings, fluffy ears, the eyes,...)

 

What, you sayin' I'm not a 'normal' pony!? That I should just stick to breeding with my own kind, huh!?

 

Dark, calm down. That's not what he meant, he just phrased it poorly.

 

Tch, I'll say. Watch what you say, dude...

 

To answer your question, they get a mix of traits from both parents, just like interracial relationships among the other three races. If the other parent is a pegasus, then they can either get a mix of pegasus and maluma traits (though the eyes and bat-wings are apparently tied somehow. I don't think you ever see one without the other). Otherwise, the foal will take the race of either parent, but coat, mane, and eye color can still vary. It doesn't always work like that, though. For example, Dark here has a lot of earth pony blood in his ancestry, but he's about as maluma as they come.

 

Hmph.

 

Care to answer the next question?

 

Whatever.

2nd question: Are there any female guards too?

 

Yeah, but you don't see 'em too much. Usually violence tends to be more of a stallion's profession, as sexist as that sounds. But there's still a few. Laith, for example, is the meanest bitch you'll ever see.

 

When was the official Equestrian Military founded?

 

(Hint Hint)

 

It depends on the context. The modern equestrian military was founded following the government reorganization when Princesses Celestia and Luna became our rulers, but it was based on the military that was in service in the pre-modern era, which in turn was loosely based on the pegasopolis military guard in the pre-classical era.

 

See? Real simple.

 

I sense sarcasm coming from your direction.

 

No, really? What a surprise.

 

Oi...

And by the way, Dark, if you are related to the Archon's Ancient, did you inherit his... mane color?

 

What? NO! No! I mean, no! My mane's not pink, it's lavender.

 

*laughs* Nopony said it was pink, Dark. He just asked if you shared-

 

Gah, j-just shut up, both of you. It's not funny.

 

*chuckles* To answer your question, yes, Dark did apparently inherit his ancestor's, ah, unfortunate, *chuckles*, mane color.

 

...it's not pink...

 

You keep telling yourself that.

 

*whimpers*

[AnonyPoni 564]

Why is my question dangerous?

Those two seem like nice guys anyways

 

Told ya. Malumai seem to be somewhat sensitive about the whole thing...

 

 

New Question about the "The Good King" era. What ever happened to Tyrannus, the pony that the Archon defeated?

[WildCard 1,037]

What, you sayin' I'm not a 'normal' pony!? That I should just stick to breeding with my own kind, huh!?

 

Dark, calm down. That's not what he meant, he just phrased it poorly.

 

Tch, I'll say. Watch what you say, dude...

 

To answer your question, they get a mix of traits from both parents, just like interracial relationships among the other three races. If the other parent is a pegasus, then they can either get a mix of pegasus and maluma traits (though the eyes and bat-wings are apparently tied somehow. I don't think you ever see one without the other). Otherwise, the foal will take the race of either parent, but coat, mane, and eye color can still vary. It doesn't always work like that, though. For example, Dark here has a lot of earth pony blood in his ancestry, but he's about as maluma as they come.

 

Hmph.

 

 

Sorry Dark, but I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that a malumai/pony kid wouldn't look awesome and cute

 

So what was the best moment that ever happened to you while being a guard?

Edited July 6, 2012 by Wildcard

[Lunatic 1,186]

greetings guard.

 

we want to introduce you to two of the newest guards.

they are the result of an experiment to create a hybrid between ponies and bats.

it was from old times that they were created during times of war of course we would never do such a thing to our subjects in these times.

 

they are called cloud and storm.

 

Cloud: hi there.

Storm: hmpf. why are we doing this again?

Cloud: because princess luna said we get a better place to sleep.

Storm: pff. i could sleep in the open air. this is humiliating.

Cloud: yeah i know but can you just please do this for me?

Storm: eugh, you wimp.

 

hehe... well storm seems to have some troubles with anger management.

although he's a good pony deep inside. we are sure you could find a way to deal with them.

 

this is cloud

 

and this is storm.

 

so. up to the question. would it be ok if they walked along with the rest of the guards for a wile?

Edited July 6, 2012 by lunatic

[AnonyPoni 564]

greetings guard.

 

we want to introduce you to two of the newest guards.

they are the result of an experiment to create a hybrid between ponies and bats.

it was from old times that they were created during times of war of course we would never do such a thing to our subjects in these times.

 

they are called cloud and storm.

 

Cloud: hi there.

Storm: hmpf. why are we doing this again?

Cloud: because princess luna said we get a better place to sleep.

Storm: pff. i could sleep in the open air. this is humiliating.

Cloud: yeah i know but can you just please do this for me?

Storm: eugh, you wimp.

 

hehe... well storm seems to have some troubles with anger management.

although he's a good pony deep inside. we are sure you could find a way to deal with them.

 

this is cloud

 

and this is storm.

 

so. up to the question. would it be ok if they walked along with the rest of the guards for a wile?

 

Erm... on of the guards here, Dark Moonbeam, is a Maluma. In other words, bat pony. They aren't an experiment, they're born that way...

[Lunatic 1,186]

Erm... on of the guards here, Dark Moonbeam, is a Maluma. In other words, bat pony. They aren't an experiment, they're born that way...

 

(now dont ruin others ideas.)

[AnonyPoni 564]

 

(now dont ruin others ideas.)

 

Why not ask him yourself?

[Lunatic 1,186]

Why not ask him yourself?

 

never said it were the same kind of ponies. there isnt anything cannon about them more then that they flew luna during nightmare night. so i just made a little story of it. now just let others have their fun without spoiling it ok?