How can I destroy a laptop?

[_Flitter 103]

Ohai, long time no see :3 I need your guys' help again, but this time, not for advice. ^-^ I want to destroy my current laptop.

 

Now before you get all, "but Flitter! You're going to destroy a poor innocent creature? What did it ever do to you?" The answer is simple... it's not a poor innocent creature >:c!! This laptop is the mechanical spawn of Discord and I will be replacing it soon!

 

I have had this laptop for nearly six (6!) years. It's held tight, yes, but sometimes I think it's only because it loves to torture me. The video card fried a LOOONGG time ago, so there are many lines throughout the bottom portion of my screen. My fan was broken upon buying it. Every so often, since purchase, my computer would BSOD when I used to webcam. It is hanging on it's left hinge because the right one is out of the socket and pulled up the cover which helps it stay in. Keys are missing and some won't un-stick no matter how often I clean the keyboard. It is slow as heck and the amount of reformatting done to this is insane. Wordpad crashes and the entire thing freezes upon closing a folder. I can never play music or else it freezes, and watching shows is a challenge.

So since I will be getting a new laptop next weekend, as mother promised, I have decided to destroy this one in the most creative or insane of ways. My ideas so far consist of:

• Putting a leash on it and taking it for a walk, and
• trying to fry an egg on the battery pack since it gets so burning hot.
• ( considering dressing it up like a pancake in butter and syrup :3 )

This is where you guys come in! I'd love for you to help me with creative ideas. I will be making a video of this to put on YouTube and Tumblr c': I know you guys are creative geniuses, no idea is stupid also.

I'm stumped. What else should I do to this demon? ^-^ < 3

[null123456 759]

SMASH IT WITH A FRYING PAN, SHOOT IT WITH A RPG, OR KICK IT'S ASS UNTIL IT DIES!

Or you can just put it in water..

[Otter 1,942]

I would use an axe, but that's not very creative. Uh... Go drop it off the Empire State Building.

[thegoodhen 698]

Give it to your enemy.

[AngryGamer432 155]

strap c4 on it, hit it with a blunt object or destroy it with your own fists

[Zerul 554]

[Ashbad 969]

Or do the smart thing and make use of it.

 

> Wordpad

 

That means you're on Windows, obviously. Fix that. Pick a small, fast, simple alternative to load up onto this thing, probably some form of Linux. Perhaps from there use it as something like a personal mini-server, which you can keep on your network and have it hold files for you (and you can ssh or ftp to use/access/pull files from remotely).

 

Destroying it just seems like an incredibly stupid idea to me.

[null123456 759]

Or do the smart thing and make use of it.

 

> Wordpad

 

That means you're on Windows, obviously. Fix that. Pick a small, fast, simple alternative to load up onto this thing, probably some form of Linux. Perhaps from there use it as something like a personal mini-server, which you can keep on your network and have it hold files for you (and you can ssh or ftp to use/access/pull files from remotely).

 

Destroying it just seems like an incredibly stupid idea to me.

 

GAH! YOUR SMARTNESS RUINED THE FUN!

[Ashbad 969]

 

GAH! YOUR SMARTNESS RUINED THE FUN!

 

I'm smart because I think destroying a perfectly good piece of hardware is stupid?

[000 206]

I suggest burning it with oil on top >:3

[Taco Horse 116]

Dump it in a public toliet, smash it with a rock, let the local school kids play kick the can with it, then pour gasoline on that baby and watch it burn.

[Luckyy 31]

Give it a bath

[Lumen 106]

Pour something flammable on it and burn it

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

put it on a lightning rod on the house and wait for a thunderstorm to come by.

throw it down a cliff (if there's anysuch nearby where you live)

throw it into a pool of mud

sell it for overprice using extreme persuasive marketing

attempt to have relations with it

drown the bastard in the ocean or a lake

put it on the road and let a truck run over it

melt it in the stove

use inhuman powers and shoryuken it

 

or just find an alternative use for it, do a clean install of the whole thing with a simple OS, and put it to some simple usage until it finally dies by age, serving its final days as something useful.

[Titan Rising 2,156]

Use it as shark bait

[Nouth 495]

Well, you probably don't want to hear how stupid idea it is, so I'll get to the part you want herd :

First thing I could think of would be to tie an old nokia mobile phone to a stick, and then smash the laptop with it. It is commonly known fact that the old nokias are indestructible...

[null123456 759]

I'm smart because I think destroying a perfectly good piece of hardware is stupid?

 

Uh.. Yes?

:3

[Evilshy 5,089]

I'm smart because I think destroying a perfectly good piece of hardware is stupid?

 

Dead video card, no fan, broken screen hinges, missing and stuck keys, and a hard drive that''s probably on its last legs is perfectly good hardware?

 

That being said, I'd open it up and salvage anything useful before I destroy it. What're the processor and RAM?

Edited July 20, 2012 by Evilshy

[Despair 114]

You should practice throwing knifes at it. And if you're already good at that, it's even better!

[Senor Citizen 516]

Throw it off the roof.

Or you can use it as fireplace fodder.

Or pour Mountain Dew (Or something equally horrible) in the vents.

Above, but replace MD with slushie.

[FedoraMemes 582]

Instead of destroying it, disassemble it and sell the parts for money. Use the money to buy a much better laptop. Seriously, people do buy parts for computers that don't work anymore.

[Sararyman...man 41]

delete system 32

[thegoodhen 698]

My fan was broken upon buying it.

 

Your fan isn't working and you're wondering that it's slow? -_-

[_Flitter 103]

Your fan isn't working and you're wondering that it's slow? -_-

 

Not really WONDERING xD But it WAS fine in the beginning days regardless of the broken fan

 

 

Dead video card, no fan, broken screen hinges, missing and stuck keys, and a hard drive that''s probably on its last legs is perfectly good hardware?

 

That being said, I'd open it up and salvage anything useful before I destroy it. What're the processor and RAM?

 

Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo. aka noooope

RAM: 2038 mb

xD HP Pavillion, also.

Well, you probably don't want to hear how stupid idea it is, so I'll get to the part you want herd :

First thing I could think of would be to tie an old nokia mobile phone to a stick, and then smash the laptop with it. It is commonly known fact that the old nokias are indestructible...

 

Even my NEW Nokia is pretty indestructible XD

[Mindrop 412]

Wipe the harddrive with Ubuntu. Then SLEDGE HAMMER TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And have that PB&J ready for Peanut Butter and Jelly time after!!!!

 

 

Edited July 20, 2012 by Mindrop