I'm Scared

[Circadian 1,273]

He has always had a heart problem. He's been having one every 4 years since the late 90's. I guess it's my fault since I know that and I still like it. ;( Plus he says that bronies have an agenda. He says he doesn't know what. But I know what he's talking about. He was comparing it to the Nazis because bronies "brainwash people". And he's a HUGE homophobe too. And not religiously either.

 

When do we get to stop reacting to our parents and start living for ourselves?

 

The answer to that question is at the bottom of this glass. Tequila se'lai

Edited December 4, 2012 by Circadian

[Dr. Frasier Crane 319]

Well, that's just not on. At the end of the day, it's just a television show. That's it. Your parents can't control you. It's your life after all.

Have you ever asked him why he has such a hatred with you being a brony? All in all your father sounds like a major perfectionist. He needs to learn you cannot achieve everything.

[Ninjaneer 225]

i think someone needs to call the men in the white coats and get him into a soft padded room for his own good.

 

Doncha think that's a bit... drastic?

 

if he wishes for his own sons death beacuse he watches a TV show, there is something seriously wrong with him.

 

I agree, but Trouty01 said earlier that his dad thought that he wanted him dead. ie: Dad thinks Trouty01 wants him dead, even if that isn't the case. But even if it's the other way around, your argument IS still valid.

[Obsidian_Winter 1,159]

My dad has been disapproving of MLP ever since I started to like it. In July he had a heart attack and was in the hospital because he was fighting with me about it. And there was a really cute girl I knew that is a brony. And he wouldn't let me see her. I didn't stop liking it though. And I've been keeping it a secret. Last night I was preformed at my schools talent show. There was a teen that said good job. I saw his shirt that said something about anime which I really enjoy. My dad was 2 rows in front of this scene. I said "do you like anime?" He said "yeah I'm a brony too" since my dad was close I wouldn't talk about it I just lied and said "bronies? Meh. I don't really think anything bout them. I just stay away." His little brother said "he wet to bronycon" I guess because my negative reaction he wanted to embarrass his brother (that's what little brothers do). My dad heard that little kid saying that. At night I heard yelling. My dad was shouting at my mom saying how I "want him to be dead." I don't want that to happen. But I have no idea what to do. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. If he dies ill be guilty all my life. What do I do?

Listen to me close sugarcube, I've been where you are now only for a different reason. Some people just cannot accept certain things about their children. They have their own preconceived notion of how we should be. But when we fall short of that plan or if we take a different road, that us being who we are...human. Your dad is taking things too far and he has no business placing any kind of blame on you about his physical health. I assure you, you being a brony did not cause his illness. Something like that builds up for a long time. Keep it from him if you must but don't sacrifice your happiness. I mean out of all the things you could be into, he should be glad its MLP and not drugs, gangs, smoking, etc.

I was disowned from my family for about 2 years because I chose to be with another female. But you know what? My family came around and I swore to myself I would never....EVER do the same to my daughter. Life is about choices and yes, there are some reasons to get mad and fight over life choices with your kids. MLP is hardly one of them in my opinion. So, you just remember, IF God forbid something ever did happen to him, Your love for a series and fandom that promotes love, kindness, understanding and the elements of Harmony is hardly the root cause. Be strong and remember we are here for you in these dark time. Brohoof my little pony...brohoof...

 

Obsidian Winter

[abc0192 29]

Wait, wasn't Bill Gates AKA the richest man alive a programmer / businessman?

(I just thought this was really interesting, since i'm also planning on taking the same career. Maybe we could work together!)

 

Back to the topic on hand.

 

This is one of the most unusual situations I've ever heard of. At first i though it would be a good idea to try looking from your dad's perspective.

But then i read about the scholarship.

There's gotta be more to this than just him thinking so little of you. There could be getting extremely stressed out from something else (Mom's met some real jerks), or there might even be the possibility of a mental condition. This isn't how ANYONE should act under normal circumstances. In fact, some of these 'symptoms' sound familiar- it was off a TV show. This woman was constantly stressed out, had some sort of heart condition, had insomnia, and i can't remember what else- she did some research herself and found that her adrenal glands were malfunctioning and giving her a constant dosage of adrenaline. My point is, i believe there's something more here going on than just him thinking bronies are insane and that you're an idiot. (If anything, what you've been doing is INCREDIBLE.)

 

So my advice for now, is to start searching for what else could be causing all this. I'm personally looking at some medical websites to see if i can find anything related. I'll tell you if i find anything noteworthy.

 

Edit: The Adrenal Cortex activates reactions to stress. maybe there's something wrong with it?

I know there isn't anything else goin on. My mom would tell me. He is just a huge perfectionist. And that makes me sad.

 

Whenever I'm not busy and I want to use THE MAC I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY. He says that I'm the reason he had a heart attack and that I want MY OWN FTHER dead.

[Darty 57]

Well, you only have to deal with him for the next 7 years at most. I would try to accept that you can't please him and try to not let it get to you.

[Zygen 6,066]

While I'm sorry he has heart problems, he doesn't need to get all angry and all that when he knows he has those problems, its his responsibility to keep himself in good health, your already working super hard. You have the right to relax, because you don't need to go through all that stress either, stress isn't healthy, even if you don't have heart problems or anything like him. So therefore he needs to just stop being so angry and judgmental.

 

Best of luck with your dad though, both in him getting through the heart attack with not any massive problems, and for him to stop being super angry over a TV show. ESPECIALLY If he has his heart problems.

 

Good luck dude, but don't blame yourself at all! Its not your fault.

[GuillermoGage 246]

So... you are basically a well-accomplished teen prodigy. And what is your mother doing in this situation? What kind of mother and wife is she?

 

Usually I don't like Brony persecution complex threads, but this isn't even about just that.

[MLP Dazzleglow 56]

My dad has been disapproving of MLP ever since I started to like it. In July he had a heart attack and was in the hospital because he was fighting with me about it. And there was a really cute girl I knew that is a brony. And he wouldn't let me see her. I didn't stop liking it though. And I've been keeping it a secret. Last night I was preformed at my schools talent show. There was a teen that said good job. I saw his shirt that said something about anime which I really enjoy. My dad was 2 rows in front of this scene. I said "do you like anime?" He said "yeah I'm a brony too" since my dad was close I wouldn't talk about it I just lied and said "bronies? Meh. I don't really think anything bout them. I just stay away." His little brother said "he wet to bronycon" I guess because my negative reaction he wanted to embarrass his brother (that's what little brothers do). My dad heard that little kid saying that. At night I heard yelling. My dad was shouting at my mom saying how I "want him to be dead." I don't want that to happen. But I have no idea what to do. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. If he dies ill be guilty all my life. What do I do?

I am not a therapist, but what i can offer to you is this:

 

if your father dies, it will not be your fault, far from it. Your father is stuck seeing the world as something evil, and he needs help. From what i am pulling out of what you said, your father will probably refuse help, but if you can, try and get the doctor to talk to to him and see what the problem is deep down.

 

As for you, I understand what you are feeling, but you can not let anyone else ruin your happiness. i dont know how old you are, or if you are old enough to leave the house, but take it from me. do not leave anything unsaid. I left my home with alot of unsaid things, and now i will not be able to talk to them about it. I know its hard to stand up to your father, and honestly, if you need to talk to him, but afraid of what might happen, have a "battle buddy" (someone that you can call on to for help) present or multiple battle buddies. All you really need to do is talk to him, and when you do, be strong and the best of luck. 

[abc0192 29]

So... you are basically a well-accomplished teen prodigy. And what is your mother doing in this situation? What kind of mother and wife is she?Usually I don't like Brony persecution complex threads, but this isn't even about just that.

She's a great mom and she helps relieve my stress. She says she loves me and when I cry she hugs me. My dad is really tough. It's hard for her to stand up to him because all he does is yell. I don't know why she hasn't left him tough.

[~Lawful Jordo~ 2,066]

Alright, I've been reading this topic and I just have to get my two cents in. First off, you should be very proud of yourself; I'm serious man, you are a damn prodigy. You have already achieved so much at your age it's astounding.  

 

Your father however, I cannot comprehend. I simply can't imagine a person so selfish that he can look at someone as accomplished as you and be ashamed that you watch a cartoon show. I'm sorry for saying this but it needs to be said; your father is seriously the worst kind of person. 

 

Don't blame yourself over his condition; It is his own bleak and narrow minded view of the world that has gotten himself into this situation. It is entirely his fault, not yours. 

 

I just don't know how a guy like you can come from such a lowlife. 

 

 

Keep your head up man, and don't let him control you like that.

[Fridge 382]

He has always had a heart problem. He's been having one every 4 years since the late 90's. I guess it's my fault since I know that and I still like it. ;(Plus he says that bronies have an agenda. He says he doesn't know what. But I know what he's talking about. He was comparing it to the Nazis because bronies "brainwash people". And he's a HUGE homophobe too. And not religiously either.

 

You can't live your life for other people, not even you father. Now from what you describe it sounds like he's not likely to accept that you like it anytime soon. And easy answer would be to give up on mlp, not saying you should just that it would be easy, but as I have said to someone else perviously, this is part of something bigger.

My point is if he reacts this way to you liking mlp, how would he react if you actually were gay, or made some other lifestyle choice that he views as wrong? You have to live you own life and if you back down now on this it'll set a precedant that you should do it on everything he disapproves of.

I'm not saying fight it out, it sounds like discussing it won't help either, and its not like you can make him see a theapist. So the only answer I currently can see is to avoid the subject with him. Sadly this means you'll be one of many closet bronies out there and you'd have to keep things from him.

 

As someone else has mentioned though, are you old enough to move out? It might be a good call, as I said previously this will only be the beginning and if he wins a victory (sorry for the crude terminology) here, he'll feel he can dictate to you about everything.

Edited December 1, 2012 by Fridge

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

Don't put yourself in that position, your dad is literally ABUSING you by doing that. He is claiming you're trying to kill him? All I see you doing is wanting to be yourself. Don't let him hurt you.

[khaine21x3 789]

Just be patient, you can piss him off the day you're of legal age by telling him that he's not getting any of the dough his "creation" is getting.It's obvious that those kind of parents sees their children as cash cows and nothing else.

 

I would even go so far as to fake a gay wedding in that scenario and making sure that he gets to see it Online with all his buddies knowing about it.

Edited December 1, 2012 by khaine21x3

[ShyForever 284]

Your dad needs some professional help, like seriously. It is completely unhealthy for both you and your dad. You can't live with a person who has such high standards of you, and cannot let you live the way you want to live. Have a talk with your mother, and try to get your dad to get the help that he needs. If not, then try to move out. 

[Black Cloud 73]

No offensive but i think its your father's fault hes giving himself heart attacks. If he is willing to get mad at his own child so much that it gives him a heart attack then its his own fault if something more extreme happens, especially getting mad over a harmless show

[Guest]

feel good, you sir are fan-bloody-tastic! you do brilliant in school and you put up with your father, that's gotta take some dedication.

 

i would personally discuss it with him. use such tactics as i do when arguing with someone:

 

1. keep it cool. don't burst out or cry or any of that cause your gonna have a hard time if he sees this

2. show no signs of weakness such as stuttering etc

3. plan out what you are going to say. this is the most important part, plan for every reply you think he might give. usually i draw a branch type of thing with responses on them

 

i wouldn't jump on this too early though, consider what might happen if you do choose to discuss it or you could always do could always do one of the other suggestions but this is what i'd personally do.

[kirbyboi 588]

Oh no...please don't blame this on yourself!! D:

 

You did NOTHING wrong. Your dad shouldn't have hated your hobbies so much. I can't believe someone would actually hate MLP so much.  Maybe your dad needs some help. Don't listen to what he said, you did nothing wrong at all. Your dad shouldn't take this so badly. If you like MLP, so be it. You can't blame yourself for telling him the truth on what you like. I know you don't want him dead, and you need to tell him that. If anything, your dad took his reaction way too far. No one can judge you for what you like. 

 

What about your mom? Did you talk to her about this? Maybe she can help you out. Don't stop being you because of what your dad says. It's not your fault, and I really think your dad should get some help. I don't know why he thought you being a brony was so bad. Just ignore him (if possbile) or find him some help. I hope everything goes well for you,and that this all gets resolved. 

 

So don't blame youself, and don't be scared...we're all here for you. Best wishes!!! 

[DoctorWhovian1902 596]

And I thought my parents were bad. Seriously, though, he basically had a heart attack over you having different tastes than him? That really shows a lack of maturity on his part. You just go on liking what you like, it's not your fault he is unable to accept you. Parents should accept you, no matter what. I have a similar situation, with unaccepting parents so I know how you feel. You have my sympathy.

[Fluffy Pinkie 417]

Your dad should really be understanding that not everyone is the same or has the same ideas.

 

I think the best thing to do is to try to find a way to talk to your father about MLP in a family meeting setting. Don't blame yourself you can't decide what you like i for one am honored to love a show that teaches valuble lessons for all ages. I'm not saying to ignore your dad's wishes but don't be a closet brony and hide from what you like if you like the show then theirs nothing that can be done. All parents should love their kids and have to learn the hard way that children have to find themselves.

[Jammo 986]

If he has a heart attack over something like this.. Well no easy way of saying this, he's a powder keg.

His rage will do him in, ponies are not. You shouldn't feel guilty. You can't control who he is, and if he can't stop getting so outraged it's his own fault for it hurting him. It's his problem, not yours. Now I don't want to sound unsympathetic to him. He shouldn't prematurely die but it is wreckless to get this irate over his son watching a girls cartoon.

Edited December 4, 2012 by Jammo

[TheLionPaladin 164]

This is not your fault at all. You are looking like the new great man of te future and I am proud of you and your mum for trying to help you. Your father however does sadly sound like a horrible person and something needs to be do e to help him, change his attitude or if worse gets to the worse move on from him. What ever you chose it will probably be for the best

[Spring Storm 276]

Wow, your dad takes all the negative qualities my dad has, amps them up to a million, and even adds new ones. I know how you feel - I had a similar situation with my dad when he used to live here. You have my support, and if it's not too forward to offer this, *hugs you*.

 

The best route to go might be to stop watching MLP, or at least to try to do it as secretly as is possible. I'd say keep watching and fight for your right to watch, but with his heart problem, it might be a better idea to try and lay low. You probably won't have to live with him for too much longer, considering moving out will be an option in a few years, and frankly, he might not even last that long. I don't mean to be pessimistic or scare you, but if his temper is always at an insane level, another heart attack seems very likely.

 

Regardless of what happens, always remember: you are NOT responsible if he has a heart attack and/or dies. If he couldn't control his anger then it's his own fault.

 

You are an AMAZING person to be able to put with him, to meet his high standards, and to be as smart as you are. I wouldn't blame you if you left the brony community for a while. Never forget that MLP will always be here for you to return to whenever you're able to be in a safer situation.

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

Wow, just...wow. If your dad would rather have you dead than happy (which is what I got from those last lines of your OP)...well, I can't even think of what to say right now. I'm shocked. You're a saint for doing so much and still being able to bear his disapproval. Just goes to show your own strength of character.

 

With that said, his priorities are all wrong in life. He's viewing the world from all the wrong angles and it's filling his heart with hate, which in turn is also slowly destroying it physically (hate is a poison in many forms, after all). No matter what happens, remember what everyone has said and I will also say - none of this is your fault. He's the one who is choosing the path of hate rather than the path of love and tolerance, any consequences to his own health and well being he brings on himself. With that said, maybe being a brony while laying low might be your best option here, if not to improve your relationship with him, then at least to make living with him slightly less stressful until you have the chance to live out on your own.

Edited December 4, 2012 by Sky Nomad

[CyberFlash 41]

Your dad's health is not your fault - he has been having problems since the 90's, long before any of this (and the cause of the heart condition would likely have been years before this!).  If he wasn't stressed about MLP it sounds as though it would be something else he would be worrying about!  So none of this is your fault.

 

As everypony has said you are a great success in school and should be very proud of where you are today,  so keep up the excellent work and always look to challenge yourself!  The experience you have in C++/C# will go a long way if you decided to be a programmer!  Python doubly so!  Java too - (even though I don't agree with it myself!) hehe just kidding I've been in I.T. a few years and with these types of skills you can get a very well paid job where they treat you just right.  Focus on your career and the next step - think about what will make you happy, develop your skills and all of this will matter less and less with time.

 

Your dad doesn't understand MLP and it probably frightens him.  From what you say, it sounds like he is worried about the effect it will have on you and your future.  He shouldn't of course!  But for now, I recommend not mentioning MLP around him until things change.  

 

But being happy in yourself is very important.  I'm here for you too broham if ever you want to talk. just remember all your achievements and look to the future.