I'm Scared

[abc0192 29]

My dad has been disapproving of MLP ever since I started to like it. In July he had a heart attack and was in the hospital because he was fighting with me about it. And there was a really cute girl I knew that is a brony. And he wouldn't let me see her. I didn't stop liking it though. And I've been keeping it a secret. Last night I was preformed at my schools talent show. There was a teen that said good job. I saw his shirt that said something about anime which I really enjoy. My dad was 2 rows in front of this scene. I said "do you like anime?" He said "yeah I'm a brony too" since my dad was close I wouldn't talk about it I just lied and said "bronies? Meh. I don't really think anything bout them. I just stay away." His little brother said "he wet to bronycon" I guess because my negative reaction he wanted to embarrass his brother (that's what little brothers do). My dad heard that little kid saying that. At night I heard yelling. My dad was shouting at my mom saying how I "want him to be dead." I don't want that to happen. But I have no idea what to do. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. If he dies ill be guilty all my life. What do I do?

[khaine21x3 789]

If he dies then it will be due to his own decision to view the world in such a way and his irrational hatred that contributes to the decline of this health, it will not be your fault.I would suggest being financially independent ASAP then breaking off all ties and never seeing him again as it'll be more than MLP that you will have massive disagreements in the future if that's the way he behaves

[Ink 191]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[abc0192 29]

He has always had a heart problem. He's been having one every 4 years since the late 90's. I guess it's my fault since I know that and I still like it. ;(

 

Plus he says that bronies have an agenda. He says he doesn't know what. But I know what he's talking about. He was comparing it to the Nazis because bronies "brainwash people". And he's a HUGE homophobe too. And not religiously either.

[Spartan 433]

your dad needs to grow the hell up. My parents, disapproved of alot of things i do. im 22 now, but back when i was a freshmen in high school, i started dating a black girl.. eventually they warmed up to her.. but what im trying to say, if you love something enough.. ignore what others think and just do it. Hell, i got my girlfriend watching MLP, well i take that back.. she got me into watching it.. and we argue about the best pony, which happens to be Rainbow Dash >.>

[Friendship_Cannon 1,676]

It is surely not your fault. Excuse my words, but your father doesn´t seem to be a nice person and seems to forget that being a father should be about supporting his family, especially his children in reaching their aims in life and in being happy...

Though it will sure be hard I suggest you don´t turn away from being a Brony, but to not get yourself in danger you should keep it hidden from your father. If your mother is on your side she will probably be a great help... and maybe she can even help you influence him to accept your attitude...

anyhow, you are not alone... everyone of us who reads this feels your pain, feels with you and hopes the best for you, and will be there for you...

Edited November 30, 2012 by Your Friend

[Winterbass 763]

His irrational hate for something that fits outside the norm has nothing to do with you, yes, you will feel guilty and everyone would of course, but think about what do you want to do: Keep on lying? Keep on liking the show openly? Try to reason with your dad?

 

It's up to you what you do, we are no experts and we are not the ones who make this decision for you. We are only here to help. So, what is it that you want to do? What do you think is the best decision, take your time, don't rush the decision, think it through. I would recommend to trying to reason with your father, that would seem to me as the best option you have. If he doesn't understand afterwards just tell him that he also did things his parents disapproved off, tell him he doesn't have to like it, but that doesn't mean he has to get so angry over something he doesn't understand.

[abc0192 29]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Edited December 3, 2023 by abc0192

[Scootaloo Is Best Filly 576]

This isn't your fault. If it's not one thing it's another. Don't blame yourself for being a Brony . From what I gather in your last post  and in this thread, it sounds to me like you can't really please your dad no matter what you do. Some parents are so hard to please. From that last post I think he might be one of them. What I would suggest is don't let him get to you.  And try not to mention MLP around him.

Edited November 30, 2012 by RainbowDashFan

[angels_gal 204]

It sounds like a case of 'tough love' gone really bad.  but that doesn't mean it's acceptable.  And  his 'attitude'  is only putting his own health at risk.  That's his own fault for being so angry all the time.  as for your brony friend I would  keep  them closest to you right now because their the ones that you need to keep closest to you.   Sounds like your old man has forgotten what it means to be a dad "be supportive without pushing you away. don't blame yourself for his attitude  just cause it fits outside the 'social and gender norms' doesn't mean he  should be so hateful on it. but i guess in his mind its 'hate what's different than you' still doesn't make it right. 

Edited November 30, 2012 by angels_gal

[abc0192 29]

A. Telling him what happened is out of the question. He's REALLY paranoid.

B. Telling him that I like it is NOT going to happen. He'll leave my mom and I just can't think about living without him (even if he's like that)

C. My mom IS helping me but she can't end the situation

D. I can't try to get him to the light side. He thinks what he thinks and there's no way you can ever change his mind (even if I showed him seeds of kindness)

E. (lol E) He hasn't even seen rule 34 or cloppers or furrys so the situation could be.... Worse?

[CloudFyre 848]

My dad has been disapproving of MLP ever since I started to like it. In July he had a heart attack and was in the hospital because he was fighting with me about it. And there was a really cute girl I knew that is a brony. And he wouldn't let me see her. I didn't stop liking it though. And I've been keeping it a secret. Last night I was preformed at my schools talent show. There was a teen that said good job. I saw his shirt that said something about anime which I really enjoy. My dad was 2 rows in front of this scene. I said "do you like anime?" He said "yeah I'm a brony too" since my dad was close I wouldn't talk about it I just lied and said "bronies? Meh. I don't really think anything bout them. I just stay away." His little brother said "he wet to bronycon" I guess because my negative reaction he wanted to embarrass his brother (that's what little brothers do). My dad heard that little kid saying that. At night I heard yelling. My dad was shouting at my mom saying how I "want him to be dead." I don't want that to happen. But I have no idea what to do. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. If he dies ill be guilty all my life. What do I do?

 

First off, I wouldn't blame yourself - liking MLP is not something "wrong" in any sense of the word. If I were in this situation, I believe that my dad would have more of an issue with me lying about liking MLP than the actual show itself. Maybe part of the issue is that he's upset with a bit of dishonesty. In this case, honesty probably was the best policy.That being said, he's overreacting far too much. Trust me, there are things in life worth living for. Don't ever convince yourself otherwise. If you were to suddenly vanish, I guarantee you that his attitude would change drastically. 

My dad always pushes me in school too. I always get on the honor roll and I have a 98 average and i'm in all the AP's but he says that I waste my time on the Internet and other things. I want to be a musician or a writer or (my first choice) a business man/programmer but he says that stuff won't get me anywhere. He always pushes me to be healthy when I'm almost close to getting my six pack and I swim for 2 and a half hours 6 nights a week. I'm also playing the lead male in our schools musical and I I play 2nd chair on first violin in our towns senior youth symphony (which I'm 14 and you have to be 16 to get into). Plus I'm in select choir in my school AND BCMEA (a sort of select select chorus). And on top of all that he doesn't let me relax for an hour on YouTube? Or watch the new mlp episode (which I usually watch days after because I'm so busy). BUCK YOU!!!!! I'm so stressed with all that other stuff and he gives me a hard time.

I know what you mean. I'm in exactly the same spot you are; I'd love to be a musician more than anything else, and perhaps my love of writing is shown through fanfics. However, your dad is halfway correct: there isn't a ton of money in the music industry. Technology has made music composition much more available to the general public, and as such the world has become flooded with new acoustical brilliance. Unfortunately, the downturn in the economy is forcing people into using free alternatives such as Grooveshark, etc.However, programming would be an excellent career, assuming you do well in your classes. I'm studying for a Bachelor's of Computer Science and Engineering, and the unemployment rate for people in my position is less than 2%. You'd make great money, and if it's something that you'd like to do, that would be even better.And I'm not saying that you couldn't ever get a job in the music field - plenty of people have, and have done fairly well. I'm just saying that statistically you're better off looking at something in the computer science realm.All that to say: don't worry, we're here for ya'. I'd venture to guess that quite a few of us have been through a situation just like yours, so we'll try to help whenever possible. 

[Kamarat 103]

I'm not old enough AT ALL to move out of the house. My dad always pushes me in school too. I always get on the honor roll and I have a 98 average and i'm in all the AP's but he says that I waste my time on the Internet and other things. I want to be a musician or a writer or (my first choice) a business man/programmer but he says that stuff won't get me anywhere. He always pushes me to be healthy when I'm almost close to getting my six pack and I swim for 2 and a half hours 6 nights a week. I'm also playing the lead male in our schools musical and I I play 2nd chair on first violin in our towns senior youth symphony (which I'm 14 and you have to be 16 to get into). Plus I'm in select choir in my school AND BCMEA (a sort of select select chorus). And on top of all that he doesn't let me relax for an hour on YouTube? Or watch the new mlp episode (which I usually watch days after because I'm so busy). BUCK YOU!!!!! I'm so stressed with all that other stuff and he gives me a hard time.

That sounds unfair, thinking about my own life; I do so less than you do but never had a problem like yours.He really wants you to be good but acts in a wrong way (No doubt that he is paranoid like you said). And just that your son enjoys something like mlp is worst thing to be sad about. I guess he got far worse ideas about it. My suggestion is that don't mention about mlp, like you don't even watch anymore (however don't rush to do anything like others said, think about it). Try to get help from your mother, maybe she knows why he is in such an attitude. Has he always been like that?

[abc0192 29]

That sounds unfair, thinking about my own life; I do so less than you do but never had a problem like yours.He really wants you to be good but acts in a wrong way (No doubt that he is paranoid like you said). And just that your son enjoys something like mlp is worst thing to be sad about. I guess he got far worse ideas about it. My suggestion is that don't mention about mlp, like you don't even watch anymore (however don't rush to do anything like others said, think about it). Try to get help from your mother, maybe she knows why he is in such an attitude. Has he always been like that?

Yeah. He's always been like that. But only the past year or so he started to get REALLY like that.

[Octavia's Bow 2,035]

I'm not old enough AT ALL to move out of the house. My dad always pushes me in school too. I always get on the honor roll and I have a 98 average and i'm in all the AP's but he says that I waste my time on the Internet and other things. I want to be a musician or a writer or (my first choice) a business man/programmer but he says that stuff won't get me anywhere. He always pushes me to be healthy when I'm almost close to getting my six pack and I swim for 2 and a half hours 6 nights a week. I'm also playing the lead male in our schools musical and I I play 2nd chair on first violin in our towns senior youth symphony (which I'm 14 and you have to be 16 to get into). Plus I'm in select choir in my school AND BCMEA (a sort of select select chorus). And on top of all that he doesn't let me relax for an hour on YouTube? Or watch the new mlp episode (which I usually watch days after because I'm so busy). BUCK YOU!!!!! I'm so stressed with all that other stuff and he gives me a hard time.

A thousand problems... I feel your pain.

 

I used to be that busy; in 8th grade, I did every sport, plus band, orchestra, chorus, foods, chamber orchestra, show choir, AND jazz band. If i get anything less than a B, my dad will freak. If I get a missing assignment, my dad basically lays out my entire week for me and tells me exactly what I have to do, and when to do it. I am not aloud to have my phone or computer in my room. He recently got remarried, and the female being she married is prone to massive mood swings, especially since she feels that I don't do anything. It's true, I'm in tenth grade now, and the only 'extra circular' activity I have is orchestra, and 'show band,' which is band and orchestra for the show choir. We play the background music, I guess. I'm trying to kick start my social life, but it's not going great, do to  lack of support. I was actually told I was being selfish yesterday for wanting to go to a friends house. For the first time this month. I usually turn to my mother,but I know she can only take so much. She actually sent me to a councilor a few weeks ago. That would've been the week after two f bombs were dropped in my direction, one from my step mom, one from my dad. The next day I was told to get my shit together. almost snapped and switched houses. Sometimes I wonder why I don't. No one should ever have to choose between what they like, and their family, I don't care who you are. It hurts to much. My dad, he's not a homophobe, but he is a control freak. He has to be in control, has to. If he isn't, I think he has repressed childhood memories or something, but he starts flipping out. Can't sleep, gets sick, the works. And nothing ever changes... I want to talk to him, but he's never around, and when he is around, it's not private, or if it's private, it's a bad time. There's always some excuse, always. I love my dad, he taught me a lot of things I need, but he is being so dense right now, it's like he can't see past his own nose. And it doesn't help that my stepmom thinks I'm some sort of satanist, bent on making her life hell. I can see how much strain it puts on him, and I can also see that he's beginning to see things her way. Here's some advice, don't lose your family. But, more importantly, don't lose yourself.

[Colt 555]

I dont want to say you cant to be yourself but for now I think you will have to lay low and play along. The fact is you care for your dad and family and dont want to bring hard times to them for silly things that are not that important.

 

There are big consequences to the way your father is taking this stuff. And it would seem you are acting like the bigger guy here. Sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t like to keep life going on, that’s the real world, but always keep in mind that you are you and taking care of your family is part of who you are, much admirable in my personal way of thinking.

 

The show and this incredible community are not going away take your time work your stuff out and you then will be able to enjoy as much as you want the stuff you like. You are part of the herd that will not change even if you part ways for a time.

[abc0192 29]

I do everything he wants me to. I was in the Mathalon and (mostly bc of me) we made it to the NATIONALS. We were 2 rounds away from getting into global. They asked some trigonometry question that involved more than college level algebra. There were 5 people in our group and we were facing off against some college kids. WE WERE 13-15!!!! No one knew the answer but I thought I had an idea. I was wrong. He didn't let me go to the HUGE school dance they have. Just because I got that question wrong. I stayed home and he spent 3 hours a day for 2 MONTHS teaching me the subject that I understood in a mere half hour. Also, I've been programming for 5 years and I was invited to some competition in Australia to solve BINARY PROBLEMS AND ADVANCED C++, C#, Python, and JAVA PROBLEMS. The first prize was a $100,000 scholarship. I got 3rd AGAINST 30 YEAR OLD PROGRAMMERS WHO HAVE PHDS. I got a $15,000 scholarship fund for whatever school I want to go to (it was prize money if the adults won and if a teen won they won a scholarship). My dad still said I could have "worked hard". That made me cry. Actually if I cry even if someone died he tells me to stop acting like a pansy and then yells at me. Which makes it worse. All my teachers say they know ill be going to an Ivy League school like Harvard or MIT but my dad just doesn't believe it. He yelled at one of my teachers for "getting my hopes up". And when they say I'm smart he says that there have been "smarter people that have lived. Like Albert Einstein". IM A TEEN!!!! IF HE READ THE BOOK EINSTEIN THEN HE WOULD KNOW THAT IM THE SAME AS HIM IN HIS TEEN YEARS!!!!!!!

[Darty 57]

You shouldn't worry about pleasing your dad if he isn't content with you coming in 3rd place against 30 year old proffesionals.

[MelancholicMemory 2,022]

Wow, he probably needs professional help. No one can live with such high standards, and all of the stress he puts himself through is terrible for his health. And the worst part is he's hurting you and (presumably) the rest of your family too. I don't know how you could do it, but you might want to encourage him to get therapy. If this were just a matter of an overbearing parent, I'd tell you to just remind him that it's your life and you will live it as you see fit, but with the added issue of the heart attack I wouldn't encourage starting any drama. This is a serious conundrum you have on your hands, and I wish you the best of luck.

[abc0192 29]

You shouldn't worry about pleasing your dad if he isn't content with you coming in 3rd place against 30 year old proffesionals.

Especially since.... I don't know.... Oh! I WON AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THAT. THE 1RST PLACE WINNER WAS SOME CHINESE GUY PROGRAMMING SINCE THE AGE OF SIX AND I LEARNED ALL ON MY OWN.

[Kamarat 103]

I do everything he wants me to. I was in the Mathalon and (mostly bc of me) we made it to the NATIONALS. We were 2 rounds away from getting into global. They asked some trigonometry question that involved more than college level algebra. There were 5 people in our group and we were facing off against some college kids. WE WERE 13-15!!!! No one knew the answer but I thought I had an idea. I was wrong. He didn't let me go to the HUGE school dance they have. Just because I got that question wrong. I stayed home and he spent 3 hours a day for 2 MONTHS teaching me the subject that I understood in a mere half hour. Also, I've been programming for 5 years and I was invited to some competition in Australia to solve BINARY PROBLEMS AND ADVANCED C++, C#, Python, and JAVA PROBLEMS. The first prize was a $100,000 scholarship. I got 3rd AGAINST 30 YEAR OLD PROGRAMMERS WHO HAVE PHDS. I got a $15,000 scholarship fund for whatever school I want to go to (it was prize money if the adults won and if a teen won they won a scholarship). My dad still said I could have "worked hard". That made me cry. Actually if I cry even if someone died he tells me to stop acting like a pansy and then yells at me. Which makes it worse. All my teachers say they know ill be going to an Ivy League school like Harvard or MIT but my dad just doesn't believe it. He yelled at one of my teachers for "getting my hopes up". And when they say I'm smart he says that there have been "smarter people that have lived. Like Albert Einstein". IM A TEEN!!!! IF HE READ THE BOOK EINSTEIN THEN HE WOULD KNOW THAT IM THE SAME AS HIM IN HIS TEEN YEARS!!!!!!!

That's a hell lot of pressure he puts on to you while he should be pleased with everything you do. He wants you to be perfect but in the same time doesn't realize that no one is perfect. I also think that he doesn't realize what that pressure could cause. Be strong, think wise. I think that you could get out of the situation somehow, I believe that you can but since I don't know much and I can't be helpful more right now, I guess. Sorry :C ( I know and understand how your parent is like; "I know some people who wants to control someone but without bad intends.")

[angels_gal 204]

It is an aweful lot of pressure he puts upon you.  HE should be pleased as punch  that you are succeeding in life.  but more than anything *YOU*  should be proud of  how well you're doing.  And if he can't see how great you are (you are even more great in the eyes of all of us bronies and pegasisters because you love and support the show) then that is his loss.  not yours.

[Ninjaneer 225]

 I want to be a musician or a writer or (my first choice) a business man/programmer but he says that stuff won't get me anywhere.

Wait, wasn't Bill Gates AKA the richest man alive a programmer / businessman?

(I just thought this was really interesting, since i'm also planning on taking the same career. Maybe we could work together!)

 

Back to the topic on hand.

 

This is one of the most unusual situations I've ever heard of. At first i though it would be a good idea to try looking from your dad's perspective.

But then i read about the scholarship.

There's gotta be more to this than just him thinking so little of you. There could be getting extremely stressed out from something else (Mom's met some real jerks), or there might even be the possibility of a mental condition. This isn't how ANYONE should act under normal circumstances. In fact, some of these 'symptoms' sound familiar- it was off a TV show. This woman was constantly stressed out, had some sort of heart condition, had insomnia, and i can't remember what else- she did some research herself and found that her adrenal glands were malfunctioning and giving her a constant dosage of adrenaline. My point is, i believe there's something more here going on than just him thinking bronies are insane and that you're an idiot. (If anything, what you've been doing is INCREDIBLE.)

 

So my advice for now, is to start searching for what else could be causing all this. I'm personally looking at some medical websites to see if i can find anything related. I'll tell you if i find anything noteworthy.

 

Edit: The Adrenal Cortex activates reactions to stress. maybe there's something wrong with it?

Edited November 30, 2012 by Ninjaneer

[Prince Midnight 817]

your father is one of those "x and x have an agenda" pants on head retards, no offence, but i think someone needs to call the men in the white coats and get him into a soft padded room for his own good. its honestly what i would do, if he wishes for his own sons death beacuse he watches a TV show, there is something seriously wrong with him.

[Dr. Vojislav Seselj 691]

I feel your pain bro.

 

My dad's basically the same, except he's got much less hate.

It's my mom who has the problem.

My mom thinks I'm a socially awkward homo just because I watch a TV show.

I'm there for you man, and I hope you make up with your dad.