Aye mate, well ye came to the right shark. First ye have to stand in front of the chair. Then look down at it like it stole yer money. Now ye grab the chair by it's legs and ye wrestle it like yer at WWE. After yer chair stands tall over yer defeated body and laughs and twirls it's evil mustache around with his tophat, you will notice lighting in the back for dramatic effect. Now ye must rise up when the chair walks away, take out yer knife you hid in yer shoe, and go up behind him for the kill.
Now if ye mess this part up, ye will have to run away and call the police, because then the chair will have the knife.
Ye must cut the chair's mustache so it will be uneven. The chair will be shocked and unable to move. Finally ye will be able to sit in the chair, but before ye are able to do so, the chair will break yer right ankle. Ye will be able to sit, but at a price.
This concludes how I sit in a chair, now if ye want to know how to eat, it's a completely different story mate.