Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Rainbow Dash 1,472]

Starlight Glimmer: Meet my new friend.

Colt: I was promised a sleepover with two Princesses. Heh heh alright!

The Colt is Quagmire?

 

Celestia: Luna, where are my pecan sandies?

Luna: I don't know, did you check that small field of crumbs orbiting you?

Celestia:.......TO THE MOON!!!

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

Fluttershy: Can I have some salt for this rabbit stew?

[Singe 2,111]

Celestia: Twilight there is something important I have to tell you, I'm dying.

 

Princess Luna: Wooooo-hoooo! We are going to party all night long under the full moon!

Edited June 15, 2016 by Singe

[cmarston1 5,959]

Princess Celestia: I am useful.

[JewelledCrown 25]

Cadence: The Crystal Empire is so fun!

Twilight: Who needs to READ when we can listen to E books!

Garble: I'm sorry.

Pinkie Pie: ffhrnks fjfjejd d kg jendjfj fjdjwa

 

 

 

Oh and today is my birthday XD

[Soaring Symphony 372]

Pinkie Pie: They filed a restraining order against me!

You're right that they'd never put that in the show, but it's exactly what would happen if the writers tried to be even a little bit realistic.

 

 

Any character ever: "Quick, fire up the mega friendship laser and aim it at the incoming Human Space Armada! We need to protect the Ewoks from them as they are the only key to stopping the Balrock from encroaching on our lands and allowing us to beat the evil clone of Abraham Lincoln!"

What the actual buck!? o_O :-D

Edited August 3, 2016 by Soaring Symphony

[Rainbow Dash 1,472]

Big Mac: Dude....I mean, Eeyup!

 

Scootaloo: I'm leaving everyone to persue my real life calling as a chicken hearder.

 

Zecora: skippity doo da, skippity ay. My oh my what a wonderful day.

 

Gilda: ay yo, wanna hear my new mixtape?! Careful though, it's hotter than Tartauarus!

 

Pinkie Pie: Heeeeeeey giiiiiiiiiiirls...why don't we like....um....just chill and like eat until we burst maaaaaaaan.

 

Cherilee: I reeeeeeeeaaaaally hate these kids.

Pipsqueak: MS. CHERILEE! What about me?

Cherilee: quiet, no one even knows you. They only care about that Button Mash cameo.

 

Discord: I think I will be a productive member of pony society.

 

Luna: I think I'll actually do my job tonight.

[Babyyoshi309 1,829]

Pinkie Pie: I enjoy seeing people in pain.

 

Twilight: I am better than you will ever be.

 

Fluttershy: I am a cannibal.

 

Rarity: Fashion is overrated.

 

Applejack: I do not care about costumer service.

 

Derpy/ Muffins: I hate muffins.

 

Rainbow Dash: I am not the best.

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: *While flying.* Bleh! *Spit spit.* I just swallowed another bug.

 

Spitfire: Rainbow Dash, we'll continue our meeting in the showers.

 

Rarity: Why are you paying attention to Applejack? I'm literally offering myself to you to do as you please.

 

Sunset Shimmer: I'm going to blog about how terrible of a friend you are.

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: How could you betray me?!

Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Twilight Sparkle: That was my last yogurt!

 

Applejack: Dang it, Rainbow Dash! Quit tipping over my cows!

Rainbow Dash: Never!

 

Applejack: Twilight you have to help me?

Twilight Sparkle: What happened?

Applejack: My farm animals are rebelling. Granny and Big Mac didn't make it. Thank Celestia that Apple Bloom is out of town. 

[Singe 2,111]

Commercial: Coming soon to Discovery Family from the staff of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and a collaboration with Saban Entertainment, It's the next evolution Pony Rangers: Friendship Forever. Five teenage girls are taken under the wing of a powerful Alicorn princess to protect friendship and battle evil monsters with the power of friendship sent by the evil Lord Zedd.*Scene showing a giant mega zord punching a giant Tirek in the face.*

Edited July 4, 2016 by Singe

[SBaby 660]

This one's probably been done, but whatever:

 

 

Celestia:  Twilight, I'm afraid I have some bad news.

 

Twilight:  What is it?

 

Celestia:  We had to arrest Fluttershy...

 

Twilight:  FLUTTERSHY?!  WHY?!  She's the kindest pony in Equestria.  What crime could she have possibly committed?

 

Celestia:  I'm afraid she's been charged with...  Animal Hoarding.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

Twilight, would you please dial it back a bit? While I'm thinking of it, have you ever heard of "personal Space" Sheesh, what a needy little egghead!"

- Celestia

 

(Speaking to Luna) "LOUDER!"

- Fluttershy

 

"Slaughter another one, Big Mac. Pinkie Pie wants to make another batch of her signature brown sugar bacon!"

- Applejack

 

"We have the meats...Eyup."

- Big Mac

 

"Applebloom dear, you're failing spelling. You know, I just might be persuaded to give you a passing grade if you hook me up with your big brother."

- Cheerilee

 

"Hey Pinkie. Are you sure it's okay to substitute tortoise for turtle in your family's turtle soup recipe?

- Rainbow Dash

 

"There must be some mistake, darling! I'm sure I paid the royal taxes! *GULP* on my Ponyville boutique. No, you can't arrest me for tax evasion! I only just opened my new locations! Give me a little time! I'll get the bits to the treasury, somehow! No, stop! Not the bit and leg shackles! Heavens! I'll look simply horrible in orange!"

- Rarity

 

"Sorry Rarity, but one of my duties as a Princess is to make sure you peasants keep the royal treasure house full. Take her away!"

- Twilight

 

"Um, Twilight? About those conjugal visits?"

- Spike

 

 

 

 

Edited July 6, 2016 by cuteycindyhoney

[weesh 690]

(Speaking to Luna) "LOUDER!"

- Fluttershy

 

not bad, but it inspires me to try to think of a situation where that could happen...

 

"I've got too many books"

-Twilight

[SBaby 660]

Here's one.  I know this is something the ponies would never do (because the show is for ages of audience), but it's totally something that one of my fan characters would do.  And I think it would be pretty funny if it did happen.

 

 

Random Pony:  Is anypony here?

 

Pinkie Pie:  Nope.

 

Random Pony:  Ok.  <narrowing his eyes> You never saw me, we never met, this conversation never happened.  Got it?

 

Pinkie Pie:  Got it.

 

<The pony hands Pinkie Pie some kind of recording device, and then leaves.>

 

Rarity:  Is that what I think it is?

 

Pinkie Pie:  Depends on what you think it is.

 

<Pinkie Pie places the device under Philomena's cage.>

 

Rarity:  <a shocked look>  You are SO going to Tartarus when you die.

 

Pinkie Pie:  Well, maybe the gods have a sense of humor.

 

<Pinkie Pie turns the device on.>

 

Device:  <in Pinkie Pie's voice> Douchebag...  Douchebag...  Douchebag...

 

Rarity:  All the way down, Pinkamena Diane Pie...  All the way down...

 

<The device keeps playing, saying 'Douchebag' all night long...>

Edited July 9, 2016 by SBaby

[Summer Wish 102]

oh oh I got some!!

 

Rarity: Spike...be mine! (lawl! Never gonna happen)

 

Sunset Shimmer: -Looks towards Celestia through the portal, tears form and she howls in agony- MOMMY I MISS YOU!

 

Twilight Sparkle: I would like the low fat hay-burger please (face it that girls sporting a freshmen 15)

 

Aria Blaze: O-M-G SO KAWAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

 

Princess Luna: Oh-hum...if only I had a legion of drewling fanbois who needlessly enjoy my shallow character.

 

Steven Magnet: Oh oh oh honey you are sooOOoooo right, it is all about the marriage.

 

Derpy: WHO SAID DONUTS?!?!

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

Rainbow Dash: Me? Well, I've never done anything worth mentioning. I'm no better than any other pony.

 

Rarity: Do you have any material thatis cheaper or at a discount? Perhaps something you are throwing away?

 

Applejack: Oh no, I got my hooves dirty!

[FlutteringDweamz 2,086]

"CAMPING is my favorite thing to do and fashion is just lame."-Rarity

"Sugar's too fattening!!"-Pinkie Pie

"I LOVE FASHION"-Rainbow Dash

[Eggy0 103]

"I LOVE FASHION"-Rainbow Dash

G3 RD in a nutshell Sorry, couldn't help making this remark.

 

"A dress is never complete without sporting every color of the rainbow and lots of random decorations." - Rarity

"What?" - Owlowiscious

"Dance for me or I'll send you to the dungeons." - Princess Cadance

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

"Wow, Spike you are so useful and necessary."

[Singe 2,111]

Fluttershy: I'm glad that I was able to quit being a model. Photo Finish was starting to make me do provocative poses.

 

Rarity: No one is buying my new line of fashion.

Applejack: That's because your prices are out of this world.

 

Rarity: Curse you Wal-mart and your line of cheap clothes.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Hooray, I learned a new spell that will be totally useless.

[pnylvr 185]

Discord: Let me explain my exact motivations this episode.

[cmarston1 5,959]

Starlight Glimmer: [gulps, exhales] I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Obviously Sing Sing is the place for you.

 

Starlight Glimmer: But..

 

Twilight Sparkle: [uses Cutie Mark removal spell on Starlight] Guards take her away!

[Singe 2,111]

Fan Girl: Sunset Shimmer, you are so amazing.

Sunset: No, I'm not. Not with what I've done.

Fan Girl: Did the preppy goody two shoes make you feel bad?

Sunset: I turned into a demon and enslaved the student body to wage war on another dimension.

Fan Girl: I came from that percentage of schools who are dealing with worse like gang violence, drugs, and poverty. I would literally take being mindlessly enslaved by you over being shot at everyday.

Sunset: Is that suppose to make me feel better?

Fan Girl: No, I'm just telling you my life was worse and stop whining.

Twilight: Hi Sunset, who's your friend?

Fan Girl: Sally, I've stabbed people at my old school in self defense.

Sunset:.....

Twilight: Wow, I don't know what to say in response to that 

[KatieBelle 302]

Anypony: BUCK YOU!

Pinkie: CALM THE BUCK DOWN!