The Corrupted Wish Game

[Mirage 24,777]

You make the perfect egg, but I ate it. 

I wish I could understand.

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Wish granted. You understand everything, but you can no longer speak or communicate with anyone in any way.

I wish I hadn't spilled that glue... 

[Yakamaru 3,131]

Granted, but you ended up spilling the beans instead. I mean, come on. We were supposed to have those beans for breakfast. 

I wish for an apartment.

[Totally Nyx 36,399]

Granted. You have a very nice apartment, but it costs your entire paycheck in rent, leaving no room for other bills and necessities.

I wish for a pet velociraptor that obeys my every command.

[Yakamaru 3,131]

Granted. But the poor thing is hungry all day, and have now started chewing on your sofa. Tasty tasty stuffings.

I wish for a carnivorous giant eggplant.

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. But it only eats rare, exotic, and super expensive animals. Hope you've got the money for it.

I wish the fish could talk to us. 

[Castle Bleck 19,440]

Granted, but they all sound like Jar Jar Binks.

I wish to become an isekai protagonist.

[Messy Mane 9,033]

Granted! BUT you're everyone's go-to for Rule 34 art

I wish Rule 34 didn't exist

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. But from now on, all artists everywhere will no longer be happy with the art they make. Even if they don't know why, even if they wouldn't normally make Rule 34, they will feel a perpetual sense of melancholy every time they do something artistic.

I wish the mysterious Mare Do Well was real.

[Evil Pink One 13,548]

Yes but she's not what you think they are.

I wish for nothing.

7 hours ago, Samurai Equine said:

Granted. But from now on, all artists everywhere will no longer be happy with the art they make. Even if they don't know why, even if they wouldn't normally make Rule 34, they will feel a perpetual sense of melancholy every time they do something artistic.

I wish the mysterious Mare Do Well was real.

( It would've been more devious that rule 34 does not exist because rule 34 IS art itself. How can you say that someone is evil if evil itself is considered good? So how can you say that rule 34 existed if it became the norm itself and is called art instead of rule 34?)

[Totally Nyx 36,399]

Granted. You are teleported into a vacuum. There are no people to talk to. There is no ground to stand on. There is no sun providing its warmth and light. There isn't even the faint glow of stars in the absent night sky. There is absolutely nothing.

Oh, and there's no air.

 

I wish to go beyond and exceed all expectations.

Edited June 27, 2024 by Totally Nyx

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. You went beyond everything. Literally. You even went beyond the limits of your own reality. Beyond the limits of every reality! You saw Nyx but didn't even get to hug her or say hi before being jettisoned into yet another reality. Where you stop, no one knows. But it's definitely a fact when I say... No one expected this. 

I wish I was a skilled artist with no limitations.

[Tao 8,822]

Granted but you can never color in the lines!  

 

I wish for a new Salior Moon manga! 

[DJShy 939]

Granted, but it's so awful that the entire franchise dies with it.

 

I wish I had the motivation to write MLP fanfics.

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. You can now write MLP fanfics, and people love them! But they want you keep topping yourself, and if each story isn't better then the last, you'll lose your ability to write fanfics forever. 

I wish I was part of a jazz band.

[Avery 189]

Granted but as a roadie.

 

I wish I have my own ship

[Tao 8,822]

Granted, but it sinks every 3ed Tuesday of the month....and also leap years!

 

I wish for for a new spice rack!  

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. It'll fall apart the moment you put even 1 thing on that rack, but hey, it's new! 

I wish I could play any instrument expertly.

[Tao 8,822]

Granted!  Yet when you do,  it sounds like a fart!  

 

I wish my cat would stop getting into the cubby! 

[Gun Metal Zebra 2,338]

Your wish has been granted. However, the cubby no longer exists.

I wish that I got paid to be a furry.

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Granted. But now the suit won't come off. Ever. 

I wish I could find more BBQ sauces that weren't sweet.

[Tao 8,822]

Granted but its not BBQ,  its ranch!

 

I wish for a new tent!  

[Gun Metal Zebra 2,338]

Your wish has been granted. However, the tent is on fire.

I wish I could retire from work.

Edited May 7 by Gun Metal Zebra

[DJShy 939]

Granted, but your retirement comes at the cost of a terrible accident happening at your workplace. You no longer have legs.

I wish I weren't intimidated by the mountainous size of my backlog of movies, games, and books I wanna consume within my lifetime.

[Tao 8,822]

Granted, but now you have only one of each for the next 1000 years!  

 

I wish for a better season of spring anime...