OC reviews from me. (CLOSED)

[River 59]

Look at my signature. c: Can you do mine? It'd be cool, nopony has did mine before. I hope I get a B. :3 

 

lol

Edited June 23, 2013 by Cerulean Sky

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Heh, I've ever been reviewed before so why not?

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/warpshot-r3644

He's adventurous and a little bit innocent but is brave when he has to be.

OC: Warpshot  Owner: WarpShot

 

First off; design. I like his design; purple and brown go well together. And the cutie mark is nice and simple, and represents her special talent nicely. So, perfect job on the design. 

 

On to the personality. Well, I do like that you did add quite a few traits, I'm not too sure about the whole anger-strong thing. Considering that he has no flaws at the moment, I think you should get rid of the strong self-control trait. It would give him something to work on throughout his life to eventually make him a better pony, and it would give more dimensions to him. Also, there is a lack of Warpshot's interests. Interests help make a pony human (or pony?) and give more to a character than most people think.

 

Finally; the backstory. His backstory is very simple right now and hardly a backstory. All we know is that he was teleporting as a foal and had to move to Canterlot due to it which isn't that much. Try giving more info on what happened after that and your OC's backstory may improve.

 

Overall, a well designed OC that could use flaws and interests and a more elaborate backstory.

 

Grade: C+

Hmm sounds interesting. I'll put in my OC Thunder Roller. The link is my signature.

Here is a drawing of her (derp accidentally put him first time ) that I did so you can have more than one picture to look at. (Sorry that its sideways)

Thunder Roller.jpg

OC: Thunder Roller  Owner: Super Derpy

 

First off; the design. The maroon mane and grey coat look very nice together and it's a nice color scheme that isn't overly flashy. But the eyes, however, are very obtrusive. While the eye color looks nice on other colors, it is too radiant for the shade of grey you used. Try toning down the color of the eyes and it might look better.

 

Personalty. Well, it has everything an OC needs: positive traits, negative traits, and interests, but I think you should add a bit more to further differentiate this OC from others OCs. The traits you used are used very often and I see them quite a bit, so I think you should add just a few more unique traits to make her more unique.

 

The backstory. The backstory is very well done and is very detailed, and gives a good representation of her past life. I like how you told everything up to the present day which is something not a lot people do, and adding as many events as you did is even rarer. So very good job on the backstory. I like how she didn't become a Wonderbolt, as it seems more realistic.

 

Overall, an OC with a good color scheme excluding the eyes and a personality that could benefit from more unique traits.

 

Grade: B-

Edited June 23, 2013 by Blue Moon

[--Thunder Bolt-- 534]

OK, I might as well go ahead and put my first (and so far, only) OC here in the crosshairs.  Sunyatay Sutra.  I was looking for a way to create an "invisible pink unicorn." 

[WarpShot 10]

OC: Warpshot  Owner: WarpShot

 

First off; design. I like his design; purple and brown go well together. And the cutie mark is nice and simple, and represents her special talent nicely. So, perfect job on the design. 

 

On to the personality. Well, I do like that you did add quite a few traits, I'm not too sure about the whole anger-strong thing. Considering that he has no flaws at the moment, I think you should get rid of the strong self-control trait. It would give him something to work on throughout his life to eventually make him a better pony, and it would give more dimensions to him. Also, there is a lack of Warpshot's interests. Interests help make a pony human (or pony?) and give more to a character than most people think.

 

Finally; the backstory. His backstory is very simple right now and hardly a backstory. All we know is that he was teleporting as a foal and had to move to Canterlot due to it which isn't that much. Try giving more info on what happened after that and your OC's backstory may improve.

 

Overall, a well designed OC that could use flaws and interests and a more elaborate backstory.

 

Grade: C+

 

Thanks I took out the part with the strong anger and high self control, and I will work on flaws and a backstory some other day. (I have a lot of plans today)

 

Oh and I probably didn't make it obvious enough with all my other info jammed in, but Warpshot's main flaw was that he is awful at all magic besides the basic telekinesis and his talent of teleportation. But I will probably add more for the sake of him not being a mary sue.

Edited June 23, 2013 by WarpShot

[Harmony Spark 265]

 

Hey, Blue Moon! Here is my OC, Princess Harmony Star. She is the alicorn princess of the Earth, here's her personality, backstory etc.

 

Appearance

She has a light mint blue coat, royal purple with gold streaks mane in a long wavy style with curls at the ends. She has a supermodel style and has green eyes styled like Twilight's. her tail is long, wavy and curled at the end. Her cutie mark is a rainbow colored heart with green vines surrounding the heart. The rainbow heart means the many aspects of my personality and the vines mean my love for nature and my down-to- earthed ness.

 

Personality

 

She is a teenage alicorn who speaks British (like me) and is a big supporter of friendship. She is kind, caring, socially awkward, creative, shy, adventurous and is show to be wise on serious matters but playful when relaxed. She also has Asperger's syndrome. She is also determined to get what she wants, even if she hasn't worked hard for it, but she does know whether she deserves it or not. She is shy and distant at first when meeting new ponies but she eventually comes out of her shell once befriended. She is also a comic relief, making lots of jokes and pop-culture references, even when most ponies don't understand her. She's often funny when she doesn't realize and vice versa.

 

Backstory:

 

In her childhood, she lived on the outskirts of Equestria with her family. She became an alicorn due to her love and passion for nature. Her mother, Crystal Spring, is a best friend of Princess Celestia and she wanted Harmony to go to a up class school, where she surprisingly gets bullied because she never revealed her royal status and of her quirky, colorful personality, making her an outcast, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make any friends.

At high school, she finally makes a friend with Ruby Rose, a unicorn who has more kindness than others. Their bond grew stronger than diamonds, but her happiness won't last long. Ruby's cousin Seabreeze arrives at school two years later and her cruel, narcissistic personality turned Ruby Rose against her since they are family. The two then became Harmony's fair weather friends, which bullied her but Harmony never stood up to them because she would lose her only friends. Eventually, Harmony gets to graduate at 15 (since she's royalty, but the students don't know this.) and before she goes, she scolds at Seabreeze and Ruby Rose to pay back for all the pain and misery they have made, causing them to leave her but this causes Harmony to lose faith in her friendship, losing her color and her powers to stabilize the land, causing it to crumble since her powers are channeled by Harmony's feelings.

Years later, the land begins to self-destruct and then the main 6 eventually befriend Harmony Star and make her a main character as well, making the land return to normal as well. Crystal Spring allows Harmony and her two adopted dog brothers, Pedro and Frank, to live in Ponyville with her new friends. She has been a good friend to her friends and subjects ever since.

 

Likes: creative writing, looking after animals, astronomy, drawing, painting, making friends and gaming
Dislikes: cruel ponies, stereotypes, mean-spiritedness, fair-weather friends and sometimes not getting what she wants

 

Thanks and here's some art of her

 

Edited June 25, 2013 by Princess HarmonyStar

[Ion 279]

Its always nice to see what people think of your OC's. So if you want you can have a look at mine. Here is the page for Ion: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/ion-r2294

[Descant 1,897]

Heh. Why not? I feel that I need to do some cleaning on my OC's character pages anyway. Maybe this will be a good way of seeing what needs to be done. Right?

 

Encore

Cascade

Evergreen

Ragtag

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Eh, sure why not. I suck at coming up with back stories for characters so you'll just have to rate him on his looks. This is my OC. I can't decide whether to name him Arcus or Silver Linings. Maybe you can help me out with that to.

 

OCarcus.png

 

arcusfly.png

OC: Arcus/Silver Linings  Owner: Arcus (Silver Lining) Wind

 

Well, I will have to review his looks for the reasons you gave, so here I go.

 

Well, I like how the blue and black go together and it looks very nice. The mane is quite nice as well. But I do have a little problem with the "silver lining" part of him. The silver edges of his black mane stand out way too much and it doesn't look good. An extremely dark color with a very light color (in comparison)for the border usually tends to not look as good as a lighter color for the main part and a darker color for the border. Not saying that color schemes with a lighter border or automatically bad, but in this case; it doesn't work too well. I think that the OC would look much better with a different (preferably darker) color for the border of the mane or a light color for the mane (I personally think you should just lighten up the main color of the mane now a teeny bit and use the pure black color for the border instead.) Basically, there is too much contrast between the border color of the mane and the main color. Also, I'm not sure if this is part of the actual design or just an effect created by the shading style of the artist of the drawings, but the silver underside of the wings looks bad and out-of-place. It's typically best to keep the body color the same and don't use multiple colors. I highly recommend keeping the color for the underside of the wings the same as the rest of the body. But if the color already is the same and the silver look is just the shading, just ignore what I said about the wing color.

 

Overall, an OC with a nice color scheme excluding the border of the mane and the silver underside of the wings.

 

Grade: B-

Edited June 28, 2013 by Blue Moon

[Colt 555]

This sounds fun and feedback is a great way to improve and find mistakes so here they are. Both of them are meant an design for an adventure FIC

 

OC's -

 

Colt Strahl |

 

 

Earth Miracle |

 

 

Here you have access to all their artwork

Edited July 10, 2013 by Colt

[Blue Moon 6,341]

 

Omg I've been meaning to get to finding this, so yeah xD.

 

I figure you may as well rate my OC. I don't particularly have alot to rate so Idk if you can get an accurate rate or any maybe for that matter, but yeah. I've yet to really write much of a backstory yet, (I actually planned at one time of writing a whole fanfic of his life type of thing, but idk if I'll get around to that honestly and I am not the best writer ever.) so really there isn't a whole lot on his charactor page, but yeah.

 

Heres his picture also. 

 

Oh and his charactor page http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/zygen-r2969

 

OC: Zygen  Owner: Zygen

 

First off, his design. Overall, this is a very nicely designed OC with no major problems. And I must say, I love the shades of blue chosen for the mane and tail. They are so pretty and vibrant without being overly flashy. So very good job there. The shade of green chosen for the coat looks very nice as well and goes with the mane color quite nicely. I  guess I only have two criticisms that are both very minor and mostly personal. I don't really like that snout style and I personally think it's too pointy. But if you like it, go ahead and keep it. It looks fine with this OC and I just don't like that snout style in general. Next, I think the shade of black for the hooves should be toned down a bit and more pastel colored. It looks too obtrusive in my opinion. But other than that, very good job with the design for this OC.

 

Next up, the personality. Now, I realize that your OC is mostly your ponysona and those are traits that a lot of people have (I even have those traits.) However, I know that there's more to a person than that and I think you should add more traits to better distinguish your OC from other OCs. I recommend looking into your own personality even further. Try thinking of traits that you didn't think of before and use them in your OC.

 

Lastly, the backstory. Well, there isn't a backstory, so I can't review it until you decide to write one. But when you do decide to make come up with a backstory for Zygen, I suggest taking your own backstory and try to re imagine it if it took place in Equestria. That would probably keep it nice and realistic which is something I like in a backstory. And try not to make things overly dramatic as well.

 

Overall, an OC that has a very well done design with only a few minor and mostly personal issues and a personality that could be benefit from being more unique. And a backstory would be nice as well.

 

Grade: B-

[SkyeRibbonPwny 406]

Hell yeah, Blue! Do my SkyeRibbon
well, the link is in my signature and theres a pic of her in my avatar and here-- 

 

 

I think those are right. <3 I'm sorta excited.

Edited June 28, 2013 by SkyeRibbonPwny

[Zygen 6,066]

OC: Zygen  Owner: Zygen

 

First off, his design. Overall, this is a very nicely designed OC with no major problems. And I must say, I love the shades of blue chosen for the mane and tail. They are so pretty and vibrant without being overly flashy. So very good job there. The shade of green chosen for the coat looks very nice as well and goes with the mane color quite nicely. I  guess I only have two criticisms that are both very minor and mostly personal. I don't really like that snout style and I personally think it's too pointy. But if you like it, go ahead and keep it. It looks fine with this OC and I just don't like that snout style in general. Next, I think the shade of black for the hooves should be toned down a bit and more pastel colored. It looks too obtrusive in my opinion. But other than that, very good job with the design for this OC.

 

Next up, the personality. Now, I realize that your OC is mostly your ponysona and those are traits that a lot of people have (I even have those traits.) However, I know that there's more to a person than that and I think you should add more traits to better distinguish your OC from other OCs. I recommend looking into your own personality even further. Try thinking of traits that you didn't think of before and use them in your OC.

 

Lastly, the backstory. Well, there isn't a backstory, so I can't review it until you decide to write one. But when you do decide to make come up with a backstory for Zygen, I suggest taking your own backstory and try to re imagine it if it took place in Equestria. That would probably keep it nice and realistic which is something I like in a backstory. And try not to make things overly dramatic as well.

 

Overall, an OC that has a very well done design with only a few minor and mostly personal issues and a personality that could be benefit from being more unique. And a backstory would be nice as well.

 

Grade: B-

Thank you for the opinions Blue! I may decide to take some into account and experiment a little, may change up the hooves, not sure if I'll change the snout or not, I may see how it looks but  eh I'm more likely to look into the hoove coloring.

 

I'll have to think of more things I could have as personalities, gonna have to do some research and self reflection for that, hopefully I can think of some things.

 

And the backstory definitely needs to be done. Funny enough I was actually thinking of writing a backstory as a fanfic, but I never finished my first fanfic that I was using to practice yet, maybe I'll get back into it. Or maybe I'll just write a backstory quickly summarizing a story based somewhat off my own life.

 

Thank you for taking the time to Critique, glad you generally like it .

[Senor Citizen 516]

You can pick either Standoff or Red Alert. They're both in my signature. Brohoof this post if it is approved.

SHALL OP DELIVAR?

[Blue Moon 6,341]

 

Hell yeah, Blue!

well, the link is in my signature and theres a pic of her in my avatar and here-- 

 

 

I think those are right. <3 I'm sorta excited.

 

Would you like me to review Skye Ribbon, Quick Jet, or both of them? I'm not sure if you want a review just for her or both as you gave a picture of them both (cute picture by the way.)

Thank you for the opinions Blue! I may decide to take some into account and experiment a little, may change up the hooves, not sure if I'll change the snout or not, I may see how it looks but  eh I'm more likely to look into the hoove coloring.

 

I'll have to think of more things I could have as personalities, gonna have to do some research and self reflection for that, hopefully I can think of some things.

 

And the backstory definitely needs to be done. Funny enough I was actually thinking of writing a backstory as a fanfic, but I never finished my first fanfic that I was using to practice yet, maybe I'll get back into it. Or maybe I'll just write a backstory quickly summarizing a story based somewhat off my own life.

 

Thank you for taking the time to Critique, glad you generally like it .

Yeah, the snout part was mainly a personal issue of mine and probably wasn't even worth mentioning, but oh well.

 

Good luck writing a backstory as well and I'll be more than happy to review it if you ever do get the chance to do the backstory.

[Zygen 6,066]

Would you like me to review Skye Ribbon, Quick Jet, or both of them? I'm not sure if you want a review just for her or both as you gave a picture of them both (cute picture by the way.)

Yeah, the snout part was mainly a personal issue of mine and probably wasn't even worth mentioning, but oh well.

 

Good luck writing a backstory as well and I'll be more than happy to review it if you ever do get the chance to do the backstory.

Its ok, personal opinions are always welcome to be taken into consideration .

 

And thanks, I'm not sure if I'll be following the fanfic idea, because despite how cool it would be for me, and heck it might even be decent to others, it probably won't come to fruition the way I want it due to how much I procrastinate, and I'm not a great writer anyways, so it would probably bore most.

 

I'd have to be more loose following it to make it more interesting anyways. Expecially since I thought about doing life from birth to present day, which would also take forever.

 

So yeah highly doubting it'll happen unfortunately.

 

However I'll probably eventually get around to writing my OC's backstory more summarized and such on his page, when I'm not totally sure, but I guess I'll just find a time to sit down and start writing it.

 

I assume you just want me to post here, when or if I get it done?

[Ampharos 1,009]

Could you do my oc Diamond Dust? He's my avatar and there's a link in my signature. If you feel like it could you also do Volt Switch. Those two are my better developed OCs, even though they're newer than the other two.

 

EDIT: Yea just do Diamond Dust. Volt needs more fleshing out before I have him get reviewed by anyone

 

EDIT NUMBA 2: I would appreciate if you reviewed Blaze Finder as well as Diamond Dust.

Edited July 15, 2013 by Ampharos

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Its ok, personal opinions are always welcome to be taken into consideration .

 

And thanks, I'm not sure if I'll be following the fanfic idea, because despite how cool it would be for me, and heck it might even be decent to others, it probably won't come to fruition the way I want it due to how much I procrastinate, and I'm not a great writer anyways, so it would probably bore most.

 

I'd have to be more loose following it to make it more interesting anyways. Expecially since I thought about doing life from birth to present day, which would also take forever.

 

So yeah highly doubting it'll happen unfortunately.

 

However I'll probably eventually get around to writing my OC's backstory more summarized and such on his page, when I'm not totally sure, but I guess I'll just find a time to sit down and start writing it.

 

I assume you just want me to post here, when or if I get it done?

Well, you don't have to post the actual backstory here (unless you want to, of course); you can just post here saying that you updated the character profile and there is a backstory and I will then edit the original review and change the grade accordingly. And I will most likely quote you letting you know I edited the review.

So... I get tiny weeny curious about your reviews here, and I'm also still thinking on how I can improve my OCs. It would be very appreciated if you can tell me what's lacking in these ponies :­)

 

Autumn Glow - Changeling, drone

Starshine - Unicorn, colt

Springsteps - Unicorn, filly

 

I apologize in advance if their backstories can be rather unwieldy. I got this silly habit to expand on weird things.

 

Thanks b4

 

E: Somehow I mistyped Springsteps as Weyland. Derp x_x

OC: Autumn Glow  Owner: Starshine

 

Okay, design. Well, I can't say too much about the changeling portion as most changelings have more or less the same design and you decided to go with that. I'm actually glad you did that as it makes the OC seem more believable and normal which is good in my opinion. So, I guess I shall review the pony part now. Well, the colors for the coat and the mane look nice on their own, but together; they clash badly. I suggest doing one of the following. First option: you lighten the coat a bit until it looks nice with the mane color. Second option: darken the mane colors until they look nice with the color for the coat. However, if you decide to lighten the coat color, you may need to tone down the radiance of the eyes, depending on how much lighter you make the coat.

 

The personality. I like it. It reflects her cutie mark nicely and it has good traits. But what I particularly like about the traits you chose is that they have negative sides and positive sides. Instead of just plain out stating the negative traits (nothing wrong with doing that; I'm just saying), you imply then through the positive traits which gives it a very nice overall presentation. So, very good job with the personality.

 

Lastly, the backstory. Well, that is probably one of the most unique backstories I have ever seen. When I began reading it, I thought it would be bad due to the fact that your OC was a new generation of a species. However, you didn't give your OC anything unrealistic or all powerful when you did this or focused too much on the fact that she is a new generation of a species, and instead; you just went on with the story that would happen with the new species you gave. I like how she starts out doing what she was designed for as it keeps everything focused and makes sense with the previous information you gave. But when your OC escapes is where I starting to get very interested. I love what you did here and it is so unique. I have never seen this before and it was done well. Admittedly, it is even kind of sad and evokes some feeling which is something I rarely see in backstories. It leaves me interested and I like how you stopped at the current date. You didn't go out and write a whole book on the subject; you did what a backstory is meant to do: tell the past life of the OC. However, this backstory interests me so much that I actually wouldn't mind seeing a fanfiction based off her life and what happens next in her life. So, amazing job with the backstory.

 

Overall, an OC that could use some edits in the design, and an OC with a very good personality and a amazing backstory.

 

Grade: A-

 

 

OC: Starshine  Owner: Starshine

 

First off, the design. Well, normally, that color scheme should look bad and clash. But for some reason, it looks nice and I don't really have any problems with it. The blue coat looks very nice with the mane colors and style and I adore the color chosen for the eyes. How you made these colors look good together, I have no idea. But you did and it looks very nice. And making him small for his age was a nice touch that I liked quite a bit for some reason.

 

Next up: the personality. I like how you used curious for the main theme for this OC's personality. It's quite and nice and you put a lot of detail into his personality. He seems like an interesting adventurous character and you did a great job with his personality and giving him positive traits, negative traits, and interests.

 

Lastly, the backstory. Well, I'm not particularly fond of the orphaning of your OC and his sister, but you didn't make it overly dramatic in a sense that seemed unrealistic. However, I like how you made him a good big brother to his sister and how he wanted her to have a good future; even if it meant giving up a good future for him. But then again, it was interesting to see other reasons why he denied being adopted such as wishing to continue his father's legacy. Overall, it's a nice backstory that gets the job done and like the last OC, leaves the reader interested in the OC's future life.

 

Overall, an OC with a very good color scheme, a great and three-dimensional personality, and a very good backstory.

 

Grade: A+

 

 

OC: Springsteps  Owner: Starshine

 

Her design. I like the coat color, but I don't really like the color scheme for the mane. The colors are kind of ugly on their own and together; they clash with eachother and with the coat color itself. So, I suggest coming up with different colors for the mane that go well together with eachother and the coat. But I do like the eye color.

 

The personality. I love the personality you gave for Springsteps. It is very unique and I love characters like that. I also agree with her view on life. And I love the way you showed that she was easily distracted by shiny objects. It is really humorous and clever to use a situation like that to her tendency to get distracted by shiny objects. It very effective and paints a clear picture in the head for the personality for the viewer.

 

Lastly, Springsteps' backstory. Well, it is certainly unique and I like how her views on life are incorporated into the backstory. Overall, nothing wrong with the backstory and I like it.

 

Overall, an OC that needs a better color scheme for the mane, and has a great personality and a good backstory.

 

Grade: B+

[Toon Richard 534]

Rate the both of my oc's.

Shardz: Dude, Are you suuure you want to not let Fancy rate us instead??
R.E: Why not Shardz?
Shardz: Okeyy fien.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Hello!

 

I was wondering of you could review my ponysona Minath. Her OC page is in my signature.

 

Please and thank you in advance!

OC: Minath Watcher  Owner: Minath-chan

 

Well, first off: the design. I have no issues about the actual coat color or the mane style, but I have some issues with the eye color and the mane color. I'll start with the lesser issue: the eye color. In my opinion, the eye color is too bland and looks too much like the coat color. I recommend giving the eye a teeny bit more radiant shade of whatever color you choose. My next major issue is the mane color scheme. Ponies use pastel colors for their color scheme and the colors you chose for the mane are much too bright and stick out a lot. Besides that, they clash with each other and with the coat color very badly. I recommend either toning down the shade of the mane colors until they are more pastel, or pick different colors. However, if you decide to just tone down the shade of the colors; you may need to pick different colors if they still clash at the shade you choose.

 

Next up: the personality. Well, the "shy at first, but opens up as you get to know her" personality is very common and I presume that you have that kind of personality which is why you chose it for the OC. Unfortunately, due to the fact that is used a lot; it usually gives the OC a very plain character and a personality similar to other OCs and that isn't really the best kind of OC. I suggest giving more traits that are more unique to distinguish your OC from others. But I really think you should replace the shy trait with something else. Shyness doesn't really do much for Minath and she would be much better off with a different trait in place, in my opinion. I do like how you mentioned that she is often considered a pushover at first due to her size, but she is actually quite intimidating. Kind of a humorous little touch.

 

Lastly: the backstory. Alicorn backstories are notorious for being difficult to do right and not make unrealistically overpowered. Unfortunately, you did a lot of things in this backstory that are common in alicorn mary sue-type backstories. First off, you made her an orphan. While there is nothing wrong with an OC being an orphan, it's best not to make an OC this unless it actually provides something useful for the main story. Otherwise, there isn't really a point in doing it. Minath being an orphan adds nothing to the story of Minath other than opening up a certain situation; which leads me to my next issue. Her occupation. I don't like how a small child was able to outsmart trained guards. It doesn't make any sense and makes her to appear overly powerful. And I don't like how easily she made it to such a high rank. It's unrealistic and I suggest rewriting it. In conclusion; this backstory doesn't fit with the given personality and is very unrealistic, and you write your OC like a Mary Sue character. I highly recommend rewriting the whole thing and making it more normal and believable. Changing the species from alicorn to something else like a unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony would be nice as well. Considering she has an interest in the violin, I think you should reflect on this if you write a new backstory. If you do decide to do this, a unicorn would be a nice species to choose considering she plays an instrument.

 

Overall, an OC that needs a better mane color scheme, and could use a more radiant eye color. This OC could also use a more distinct personality and a rewritten backstory.

 

Grade: D-

[Ampharos 1,009]

Thought I should say that Volt is pretty under developed. And Dust could use some work too... 75

[dedacct6 2,591]

Eh, what the hell.  here's an oc i made with pencil and graphite. she has no backstory cuz im terrible at writing. and its for RP's so it depends on the setting of the RP. but that doesn't madder hope you like her

 

 

Name: Ace O' Spades

 

Cutie mark: Ace of Spades

 

Talents: Cards, Poker, being smart when Gambling

 

Hair: Brown

 

Pelt: Tan

 

Eyes: Brown

 

Personality: Chill, Can be competitive when gambling, Social, daring and confident *when gambling*

 

Clothes: brown and green plaid scarf *doesn't show in the drawing sorry*, Black Barrett

 

also check out my other OC in my sig

Edited July 17, 2013 by PelateOvercast

[Starshine 16,333]

<reviews snipped to save space>

 

Yeah... I gotta say something: I'm terrible at picking color schemes x_x

 

I guess kinda stroke the lucky guess on Starshine there. I'll definitely try to get some better colors for Autumn Glow and Springsteps as soon as I get the chance to. I'm glad to hear that there is no glaring errors that I missed in their personalities or backstories.

Thank you very much for the thorough reviews!

 

Edited June 29, 2013 by Starshine

[SkyeRibbonPwny 406]

Would you like me to review Skye Ribbon, Quick Jet, or both of them? I'm not sure if you want a review just for her or both as you gave a picture of them both (cute picture by the way.)

Yeah, the snout part was mainly a personal issue of mine and probably wasn't even worth mentioning, but oh well.

 

Good luck writing a backstory as well and I'll be more than happy to review it if you ever do get the chance to do the backstory.

Well if you want to do both, feel free! <3 I really just came to get SkyeRibbon judged lol but if you wanna do both, yeah! <3 woohooo!

[lighting flash 207]

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/lighting-flash-r3812

This is my first and probably will be my OC. As you can tell, I'm not really good with giving a good backstory or anything like that. Hope you like it.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

My curiosity is piqued, so I'll try! This is my OC, Tropical Jubilee. He's usually cheerful and loves nothing more than a good time. TJ is also very laid back and never seems to be bothered by the trouble in the world. His cutie mark is two crossed palm trees for his naturally nonchalant demeanor and his love for his jungle home. He speaks with a Latino accent and often mixes English and Spanish. Even though he's a friendly enough guy, Tropical Jubilee can't take anything seriously and thinks life is all carnivals and naps.

 

I would like brutal honesty.

OC: Tropical Jubilee  Owner: Tropical Jubilee

 

First off; design. Well, the colors chosen certainly reflect the name "Tropical Jubilee" well, but I have a few suggestions to make the colors even better. Now, this color scheme is certainly unique and I quite like it, but the colors are a bit too bold. Try toning them down a bit. If you do this, making the hair darker or the coat lighter might help along with the toning down of the colors. But overall, I like this design. The expression given in the photos reflect his personality very well, and i love the mane and tail style. The goatee is a nice touch as well.

 

Next up; the personality. You did a great job with this part. I like how he's laid-back and thinks everything in the world is just dandy. It really gives a good character while making the flaws of him correspond with the positive traits of him very well in a subtle manner. It really gives a more polished look to his personality that is very nice for an OC. And I love how you added a little something for his voice and language. It really makes him much more unique.

 

Lastly; the backstory. Well, the only thing you added that could be kind of taken as a backstory is his cutie mark. I know he has a love for his jungle home, but that is a bit broad and I think you should pick something a bit more distinct for his special talent. Perhaps he was meant to grow and harvest bananas and that is what his cutie mark reflects on. Try thinking of a talent that would fit in a jungle environment, and try to use that for the cutie mark. Also, a backstory of his life would be nice.

 

Overall, an OC that could use toned down color scheme and a better backstory for a cutie mark and backstory in general, but has a great personality and unique design.

 

Grade: B-