Am I right or wrong?

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

So tomorrow is my So called friends birthday and I text her to congratulate her. I send her a message saying "hey noob 10 more hours untill your birthday." I always call her a noob, and she does too, its just a way of us playing around. So soon enough she replies back saying "My birthday is at 4:00 dipshit" so I told her "I was hypothetically speaking, its considered your birthday when the clock reaches 12 at midnight." so she says whatever. At this point I did not know why she was being a total bitch, I was quite mad at her foul language and lack of consideration. So then later she sends me a message saying "by the way, your bio is bullshit"  (she was speaking about my bio on instagram, where I stated that writing was my talent and I enjoyed doing it) So in my defense I tell her "you cant tell me what I can or cannot do, I like writing and its my hobby" (she is very critical of everyone and is known to be unappreciative of other peoples accomplishments, and she is also very full of herself) So she replies back saying "Your talking to the only winner of the poster drawing competition on the whole county" So at that moment I think to myself, "Oh wow big fucking deal, its not like you won a competition for the country, or even the state.. heck not even the city, just a county." So I tell her in the nicest way I could "Oh wow you won a doodle contest for the state.. you are too inconsiderate and full of yourself" The arguing then continues on and on about me telling her how she is being rude to her friend. Then all she does is use her limited vocabulary against me, calling me a retard, an idiot, a dumbass, so on so forth. So what do you think? Doesnt she deserve a slap in the face atleast? I am not even going to bother showing up to her house and congratulating her, she does not deserve anything from me.

[Champion RD92 8,654]

Um...did you do something that would make her act this way towards you? Or was she just in a bad mood? And why didn't you just ask her what her problem was?

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

Um...did you do something that would make her act this way towards you? Or was she just in a bad mood? And why didn't you just ask her what her problem was?

I am guessing that she did not like the fact that I actually stood up for myself instead of letting her step all over me. I think I did the right thing, she is way too spoiled and gets mommied alot by her parrents, so when reality slaps her in the face she decides to rant instead. I thought what I did was quite thoughtful, the fact that I remebered her birthday and I was considering buying her a present.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,738]

Champion is right, you should have just asked what her problem was. I'm sure there is some explanation to this behavior. You should go to her birthday and just try talking to her. Do not just cut all connection to her, I'm sure she was just having a hard time. That is all, give her a chance to explain this weird behavior.

[Party Cannon 874]

Worst part of text messages: lack of "voice." It's amazing how the same thing can be said and read many different ways, with many connotations. I think before it turned into a full blown argument, one or both of you were reading the text as sarcastic or vice versa, and playing around turned into angry miscommunication. At this point, see her face to face when you can and figure out what happened. NOTHING replaces real human face to face interaction.  

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

Worst part of text messages: lack of "voice." It's amazing how the same thing can be said and read many different ways, with many connotations. I think before it turned into a full blown argument, one or both of you were reading the text as sarcastic or vice versa, and playing around turned into angry miscommunication. At this point, see her face to face when you can and figure out what happened. NOTHING replaces real human face to face interaction.  

You are right, i think maybe it was me who took it too seriously but at the same time, I am only 14 years old so consider the fact that my friend is turning 14 tomorrow. It might be that I am more mature and show less appreciation towards foul mouthed people. Yet, she is less sentimental, and tends to be careless about how she adresses people. However, I do not see that as an excuse. I was educated by my parents, taught the old fanshioned way (Leather belts and sandals) rather than her, in which her parents just give her long verbal speeches which most kids ignore at the end of the day. This might be a factor in my opinion, for her unproper etiquette. 

[websterhamster 203]

 

 

It might be that I am more mature and show less appreciation towards foul mouthed people.

At this point I did not know why she was being a total bitch

Oh wow big fucking deal

 

Sounds like a tad bit of hypocrisy...

 

I would go to your friend's party, be friendly, and apologize. Don't say "I'm really sorry for the way I texted you yesterday, but you were still wrong to call me a dipshit". Just say sorry.

 

Take it from me, I have a twin brother and I have to deal with this sort of thing all the time 

~WH

[PonyHag1 591]

I agree, apologize to her at the party and try to find out what's wrong. If she continues to give you a hard time, or won't explain the reason for her behavior, at least you were the bigger person and tried to make peace.

[Viking 60]

Christ. I say she is a bitch. A small insult isn't worth starting the fight over, just let it go. I say slap her in the mouth at her party.

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

I recently texted her saying that she was being immature and inconsiderate. I told her that I was a bit mean too just to sugar coat things a bit so her panties dont turn into the flag of japan again. I tried being as mature as I could but she said she was not going to appologize. That just shows how much of an immature cunt she is.

[Starshine 16,330]

What...?

 

You called her a noob, just a few hours before her special moment, and you got upset that she reacted badly at it? Please tell me you're not serious.

 

There might be another reason why she got upset. There is always a chance that something ticked her off before she received your first text, and the word "noob" from you only made her feel much worse. Birthday is a huge deal to girls, better ask for an apology first and discuss about it later when she calmed down.

 

In cases like this, being the right one isn't the most important thing.

Edited July 1, 2013 by Starshine

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

What...?

 

You called her a noob, just a few hours before her special moment, and you got upset that she reacted badly at it? Please tell me you're not serious.

 

There might be another reason why she got upset. There is always a chance that something ticked her off before she received your first text, and the word "noob" from you only made her feel much worse. Birthday is a huge deal to girls, better ask for an apology first and discuss about it later when she calmed down.

 

In cases like this, being the right one isn't the most important thing.

I dont think the word noob would actually offend her. She uses it all the time to play around with me, and might I add to the fact that in school she treats me like shit, everytime I try to draw something nice, write a poem, or any other nice achievement she is constantly telling me that its "gay" or it "sucks" She has been a great friend of mine but she is turning into a total bitch to the point where I dont care about her anymore for being such a backstabber. 

[Moonlight 7,279]

While I do agree that she was rather...rude. Something must have angered here beforehand. "Noob" wouldn't make someone angry; what my friend and I call each other would have any 'normal' girl extremely angry. From my experience, most girls don't really overreact that much over a birthday (aside from me and my fierce planning). So, I'm just guessing that since it's her birthday, she expected praise of some sort. What she says to you about your poems, writing and such is rather rude; unless she is just joking. She does seem a little tense; so maybe not talking to her for a day or two might help; let her cool off a bit. The pressure of arranging a birthday might be getting to her a little. Of course, I don't know her personally, so nothing I say would be fact, most likely. I would say you're in the right a bit; at least more right than her. I don't know her side of the story, so I could never be too sure.

[Starshine 16,330]

 

 

I dont think the word noob would actually offend her. She uses it all the time to play around with me, and might I add to the fact that in school she treats me like shit, everytime I try to draw something nice, write a poem, or any other nice achievement she is constantly telling me that its "gay" or it "sucks" She has been a great friend of mine but she is turning into a total bitch to the point where I dont care about her anymore for being such a backstabber.

 

Question: When did she backstab you? Was what she said to you, in reply of your "noob" short message, really counts as a backstabbing? Is it really worth it to end your friendship with her just for something that can easily be a simple misunderstanding? As I said before, birthday is a big deal to girls. It's supposed to be one of the most important time of the year for her, and as the result she might get a bit cranky over things, and it's not impossible for her to lash out to random person, and this case it's you.

 

Well, if you still want to be friend with her, my suggestion is that you try to reconcile with her for now. It doesn't matter if she accept the apology immediately or not, the important thing is that you at least try to. When she finally calmed down, then talk about it and her bad habit of throwing trash words around, tell her that you was joking with your first text message. Retaliating with another insult or derogatory remark will only make things go further to the drain.

 

If you frankly think that it's not worth the trouble, then what can I say, just drop any contact with her. There is no use making an enemy out of her.

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

Question: When did she backstab you? Was what she said to you, in reply of your "noob" short message, really counts as a backstabbing? Is it really worth it to end your friendship with her just for something that can easily be a simple misunderstanding? As I said before, birthday is a big deal to girls. It's supposed to be one of the most important time of the year for her, and as the result she might get a bit cranky over things, and it's not impossible for her to lash out to random person, and this case it's you.

 

Well, if you still want to be friend with her, my suggestion is that you try to reconcile with her for now. It doesn't matter if she accept the apology immediately or not, the important thing is that you at least try to. When she finally calmed down, then talk about it and her bad habit of throwing trash words around, tell her that you was joking with your first text message. Retaliating with another insult or derogatory remark will only make things go further to the drain.

 

If you frankly think that it's not worth the trouble, then what can I say, just drop any contact with her. There is no use making an enemy out of her.

I do not think she was mad over the silly kind of noob talk, I think what made her get mad was that I automatically got serious when she said the "You are talking to the winner of the drawing thing" When she said that I automatically had to put her in her position and tell her not to be such a boastful person. The fact that she has the nerve to say that I suck at writing or whatever, but then makes herself look like shes such a big baller because she won some stupid art thing made me ticked off. Its like making fun of someone and then when they fight back and standup for themselves, you get offended and start proving them wrong by saying how much of a big shot you are. 

[Evilshy 5,089]

I'm all for apologizing at the party. Even if she doesn't accept it, or even throws it in your face, at least you tried. If you want to save the friendship, don't get confrontational again, even if she does, it's not worth it. You don't need to put her in her place just for saying she won a contest (a county is bigger than a city, by the way). Walk awy if you need to; you don't need to take her shit if she gives you any, but there's no need to throw it back at her.

 

Be careful with how this effects other friends; I've seen many groups of friends break into separate clicks who ended up disliking or even hating each other over a disagreement two of them had. They'd stop being friends, others in the group of friends would take sides, and pretty soon, they had their own friendship-ending disagreements.

[Zygen 6,065]

I would try to find a way to save it, maybe still try and come to the party and apologizing to her there like the others said.

 

She could've just been in an intolerable mood an been having a bad day. Who knows. I have those sometimes where I end up acting kinda jerkish to people who don't deserve it.

 

Regardless try to save your friendship if you can, its a valuable thing and I wouldn't let it go just because of a little fight, or maybe even a misunderstanding.

 

Good luck though regardless!

[Symph 103]

So tomorrow is my So called friends birthday and I text her to congratulate her. I send her a message saying "hey noob 10 more hours untill your birthday." I always call her a noob, and she does too, its just a way of us playing around. So soon enough she replies back saying "My birthday is at 4:00 dipshit" so I told her "I was hypothetically speaking, its considered your birthday when the clock reaches 12 at midnight." so she says whatever. At this point I did not know why she was being a total bitch, I was quite mad at her foul language and lack of consideration. So then later she sends me a message saying "by the way, your bio is bullshit"  (she was speaking about my bio on instagram, where I stated that writing was my talent and I enjoyed doing it) So in my defense I tell her "you cant tell me what I can or cannot do, I like writing and its my hobby" (she is very critical of everyone and is known to be unappreciative of other peoples accomplishments, and she is also very full of herself) So she replies back saying "Your talking to the only winner of the poster drawing competition on the whole county" So at that moment I think to myself, "Oh wow big fucking deal, its not like you won a competition for the country, or even the state.. heck not even the city, just a county." So I tell her in the nicest way I could "Oh wow you won a doodle contest for the state.. you are too inconsiderate and full of yourself" The arguing then continues on and on about me telling her how she is being rude to her friend. Then all she does is use her limited vocabulary against me, calling me a retard, an idiot, a dumbass, so on so forth. So what do you think? Doesnt she deserve a slap in the face atleast? I am not even going to bother showing up to her house and congratulating her, she does not deserve anything from me.

She sounds like my ex man.  I'm not sure you should even bother with her in the first place.  What's your friendship based on?  How deep does it go.  I spent alot of time holding onto my ex because there were things we experienced that meant alot to ME.  Only to finally realize none of it meant anything to HER, and she only enjoyed me because I gave her lots of compliments and attention.  That's nothing but an arrogant user and those people will drain you and leave you at the drop of a hat.  Unless you're fudging the story or exaggerating, she sounds like a total user man...

[Mikestar 346]

i love this dear abbey stuff! Soooooo.

 

So tomorrow is my So called friends birthday and I text her to congratulate her. I send her a message saying "hey noob 10 more hours untill your birthday." I always call her a noob, and she does too, its just a way of us playing around. So soon enough she replies back saying "My birthday is at 4:00 dipshit" so I told her "I was hypothetically speaking, its considered your birthday when the clock reaches 12 at midnight." so she says whatever. At this point I did not know why she was being a total bitch, I was quite mad at her foul language and lack of consideration. So then later she sends me a message saying "by the way, your bio is bullshit"  (she was speaking about my bio on instagram, where I stated that writing was my talent and I enjoyed doing it)  So in my defense I tell her "you cant tell me what I can or cannot do, I like writing and its my hobby" (she is very critical of everyone and is known to be unappreciative of other peoples accomplishments, and she is also very full of herself) So she replies back saying "Your talking to the only winner of the poster drawing competition on the whole county" So at that moment I think to myself, "Oh wow big fucking deal, its not like you won a competition for the country, or even the state.. heck not even the city, just a county." So I tell her in the nicest way I could "Oh wow you won a doodle contest for the state.. you are too inconsiderate and full of yourself" The arguing then continues on and on about me telling her how she is being rude to her friend. Then all she does is use her limited vocabulary against me, calling me a retard, an idiot, a dumbass, so on so forth. So what do you think? Doesnt she deserve a slap in the face atleast? I am not even going to bother showing up to her house and congratulating her, she does not deserve anything from me.

 

Well at this point you need to figure out if you want to continue the friendship... what it's worth to you, and what your goals are for the future of this friendship (Which doesn't sound very magical!)

 

So  options

 

1. I would like to keep this friendship. If this is the case maybe send a text back stating "You seem very upset and angry right now. Anything i can do to help?" do you want to get together for a coffee and talk about this?

 

2. you would like to keep this friendship but feel you should stand your ground assertively. You could send a text saying... "You seem angry at me. I don't believe I've done anything to deserve this but would be happy to discuss it in a civil manner." even continue to suggest face to face rather than texts as direct communication is better, you can see body language and facial expressions and hear tone of voice. Things are often misread in text. you might even go so far as to explain that if you can be bothered.

 

3. You don't care if you keep this friendship or not. You could send back a text saying 'Whats eating you?"

 

4. you for sure don't want to keep this friendship. you are so over it and want to get it off your chest in further confrontation. You could send a text saying "WTF? Are you nuts? I don't deserve to be treated this way so have a nice life.

 

5. You're so over it you can't be bothered any more. In this case... you do nothing. Just ignore any future texts. This usually gets the person more angry and they end up ringing you or coming over to continue the argument. But even if they do, you will find it much easier to talk face to face when you're not hiding behind phones and computers.

 

Signed

 

Mikestar Abbey Broney

Edited July 1, 2013 by Mikestar

[HunterScars 505]

if shes a right royal bitch than yes she does 

but not on her birthday though that's just mean

 

although i think you kinda over reacted about the bio  

[Darkshift 85]

She probably had a rough day and just was in a foul mood,and you were the unlucky person to interact with her first.I could not imagine one of you're friends being a pain and I'm guessing she will apologise soon anyways.

[PercyThePony 15]

Well she was the one who was being nasty in the first place. I would say try talking to her and ask what's wrong, but she is just being well more than a jerk. Also I'm not sure if it offends you but If she called me a 'retard' I would be steaming mad. Because my friend's mother works with disabled kids and I know them very well. Anyways, you aren't a bad person, actually you are sticking up for yourself.