Kyouko-Chan's OC Reviews!

[RAGESTAR 479]

Many mary sues involve having a terrible...or horrifying back stories. Yours on the other hand just kinda crossed that line...though with a few acceptions, I don't mind dark characters...just not as dark and morbid as that is. The story was what I describe to be as a boohoo backstory, like I said already, is considered mary-sue...or in your case a Gary-stu. I think if you took all that out and made a few major improvements here and there, and just give it maybe a creepy, light story, it would be less of a gary-stu.

1. I'm sorry but I'm not changing anything, its not boohooish, boohooish is having his entire family die, having his freinds die, and making him lose his powers and become depressed, THAT would be boohooish, but him having his mom die and sister dissappear isn't all that uncommon for oc's, so yeeeaaahh.....but no...

 

2. Here is a link to the REAL definition of a mary sue...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mary-Sue

Edited July 10, 2013 by ragestar

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Heh, constructive criticism towards others OC's? I"m in.

 

My OC is alright, and I guess a review wouldn't hurt.

 

The link towards him is under my signature.

 

Here's a reference for bonus points:

 

 

 

 

The Good- I'll have to give you brownie points for this OC! I really really reaaally LOVED it when you said he wasn't as fast as Rainbow Dash. I was going to have a heart attack if you said he was as fast as RD! What I really liked about your character is how he strives for success, yet another good OC fit as a rolemodel :3

 

The Bad- This isn't a bad thing, but would you mind explaining his cutie and what it is? I'm either blind, or too dumb to know what it is lol

 

Rating: 10

1. I'm sorry but I'm not changing anything, its not boohooish, boohooish is having his entire family die, having his freinds die, and making him lose his powers and become depressed, THAT would be boohooish, but him having his mom die and sister dissappear isn't all that uncommon for oc's, so yeeeaaahh.....but no...

 

2. Here is a link to the REAL definition of a mary sue...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mary-Sue

Well, i'm sorry if you are unhappy with your review...I was only stating the obvious. I'm not saying you have to change anyting, for one, I am giving suggestions to help other people with their OCs. If your that unhappy, than you don't have to be on this thread, and I can even tell by the tone of your text your getting really cocky with getting an attitude with me. Honestly sir, if you don't like it, I apologize greatly.

[~Silver Essence~ 2,621]

The Good- I'll have to give you brownie points for this OC! I really really reaaally LOVED it when you said he wasn't as fast as Rainbow Dash. I was going to have a heart attack if you said he was as fast as RD! What I really liked about your character is how he strives for success, yet another good OC fit as a rolemodel :3

 

The Bad- This isn't a bad thing, but would you mind explaining his cutie and what it is? I'm either blind, or too dumb to know what it is lol

 

Rating: 10

Thank you for the perfect rating!

 

I do find him great the way he is.

 

Anyways, the X is for two things, one, his commitment for success in terms of never giving up in life, and his mastery on a dark sorcerers book that he uses for helpful and kind reasons.   

[Ampharos 1,009]

Hey... Could you review Diamond Dust? My signature will eventually lead you to him. I like how harsh and honest you are with your reviews. Makes feel like I can trust what you say

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Hey... Could you review Diamond Dust? My signature will eventually lead you to him. I like how harsh and honest you are with your reviews. Makes feel like I can trust what you say

It was a harsh journey...but I made it xD

 

The Good- I really liked his design! Not just saying that either, though the colors black and brown can be counted as a minor cliche, the colors go really well for a miner! His coat reminds me of coal and dirt, and that's what makes it cool looking! His bunny also sounds really cute! I also loved how you made his story mysterious as it was simple. ^-^

 

The Bad- Judging by all these good signs of a well done OC, i'll say you're in the clear!

 

Rating- 10!

[Ampharos 1,009]

I'll be honest. Was not expecting a perfect score. Just wondering, but what did you think about his whole brother thing? I thought that would have been something you mentioned... Anyways thanks for the review! I'm glad that my most developed OC got such a good grade

[RAGESTAR 479]

The Good- I'll have to give you brownie points for this OC! I really really reaaally LOVED it when you said he wasn't as fast as Rainbow Dash. I was going to have a heart attack if you said he was as fast as RD! What I really liked about your character is how he strives for success, yet another good OC fit as a rolemodel :3

The Bad- This isn't a bad thing, but would you mind explaining his cutie and what it is? I'm either blind, or too dumb to know what it is lol

Rating: 10

Well, i'm sorry if you are unhappy with your review...I was only stating the obvious. I'm not saying you have to change anyting, for one, I am giving suggestions to help other people with their OCs. If your that unhappy, than you don't have to be on this thread, and I can even tell by the tone of your text your getting really cocky with getting an attitude with me. Honestly sir, if you don't like it, I apologize greatly.

Your right, I don't have to be on this thread, but I'm not getting cocky, nor do you have any grounds to say that him being a gary stue is "stating the obvious" when all your basing your staement on is his admitidly dark backstory, I was merely correcting you on the actual definition of a mary sue, becouse you clearly throw it around too much without even knowing what it means...

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Your right, I don't have to be on this thread, but I'm not getting cocky, nor do you have any grounds to say that him being a gary stue is "stating the obvious" when all your basing your staement on is his admitidly dark backstory, I was merely correcting you on the actual definition of a mary sue, becouse you clearly throw it around too much without even knowing what it means...

And you clearly can't take constructive critique...I wasn't born yesterday. I've been around the net long enough to know what a Mary Sue is. If you're just going to blindly lash out at me, leave. I will not deal with the likes of someone like you who likes to add fuel to the fire. So I suggest leave, or i'll be very pissed. I'm not going to ask again.

Edited July 10, 2013 by shotagirl9

[NeverAgain653289he32 285]

Hello there! I'd appreciate it if you could do a review on my original character Ginger Snap (Link is under my signature)! Thanks in advance :3

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Hello there! I'd appreciate it if you could do a review on my original character Ginger Snap (Link is under my signature)! Thanks in advance :3

Hello there! Let's start!

 

The Good- Gingersnap's talent is really simple! I take a liking to ponies who have simple talents. :3 I even like his color schemes, they are soo kawaii >w< (cute)

 

The Bad- I see that he has eyelashes...lol It's not a bad thing I swear! I see you made it with pony creator so I see why it would be a minor mistake :3

 

Rating: Over it's a pretty decent pony! 10!

[RAGESTAR 479]

And you clearly can't take constructive critique...I wasn't born yesterday. I've been around the net long enough to know what a Mary Sue is. If you're just going to blindly lash out at me, leave. I will not deal with the likes of someone like you who likes to add fuel to the fire. So I suggest leave, or i'll be very pissed. I'm not going to ask again.

1. I'm not blindly lashing out, I'm correcting your blind mistake on what you THINK a mary sue is, and "the likes of me?" Cussing at me? Threatening me? Congradulations, you've just given me three valid reasons to report you...but I'm not going to, because if I did that, I would be proving you right, and your not right, so I'm not gonna do it...

 

2. Just because I'm defending my oc, doesn't mean I'm evil, your judging my oc, not me, remember? Just think about what I said before YOU lash out angrily at me for correcting you.

 

That's all, goodbye...

[NeverAgain653289he32 285]

Hello there! Let's start!

 

The Good- Gingersnap's talent is really simple! I take a liking to ponies who have simple talents. :3 I even like his color schemes, they are soo kawaii >w< (cute)

 

The Bad- I see that he has eyelashes...lol It's not a bad thing I swear! I see you made it with pony creator so I see why it would be a minor mistake :3

 

Rating: Over it's a pretty decent pony! 10!

Cheers! Thank you for taking the time out of your day (or night...) and reviewing my character. I really appreciate it. Thanks and have a good day!

[Flow 1,619]

For sometime, I've been quite reluctant to get any of my OC's reviewed because I'm that sensitive to criticism, but today, I've decided to go ahead and let you review my favorite OC Flow.

 

BTW I can see you as having the potential to make great reviews, don't stop on them now!

Edited July 10, 2013 by Flow

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

For sometime, I've been quite reluctant to get any of my OC's reviewed because I'm that sensitive to criticism, but today, I've decided to go ahead and let you review my favorite OC Flow.

 

BTW I can see you as having the potential to make great reviews, don't stop on them now!

Alrighty!

Oh and thank you, i'll be sure to keep going! ^-^

The Good- I really loved your OCs design, it was REALLY cute. Ironically, she really loves cute things, another thing I really love about her! For her being a pegasi, it is no surprise that she will idolize RD, and that's cool with me :3 I too used to idolize her...well..when I was a pegasus lol. I admire her knowledge on flight!

 

The Bad- I know you're very sensitive to critism, as am I too, so don't worry ^^.

I think it was probably the whole death of parents situation that kinda lowered the mood...like it's depressing and personal, ya know? But on a few notes, I don't really care if the OCs parents are dead or alive, all i'm saying is that it can create one of them unsettling moods.

 

Just note, i'm not asking you to change anything. I honestly think your OC is as darling as it is now, Sweetie. ^___^ So no worries!

 

Rating- 10

[~Sole~ 852]

Well, I've never had my oc judged before... oh, what the heck, I'll give it a shot! Can ya judge my oc sole? His link is in my sig.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Well, I've never had my oc judged before... oh, what the heck, I'll give it a shot! Can ya judge my oc sole? His link is in my sig.

Very interesting :3

 

The Good- Honestly, I rarely see griffon OCs, so this is actually pretty interesting! Sole is a really fitting name for a griffon! Not to mention, he looks pretty cool bro, and the statement "cutie marks are for pu***ies" had me rolling XD

 

The Bad- Like I said you don't have to change anything, but I would recommend not relating them to canon characters on the show. I mean I don't mind, but like I said it's a suggestion, no sweat! 

 

Rating: 8

[Ampharos 1,009]

I asked a question about Dust earlier about his backstory... Could you uh... You know... Answer it... Please?

[Darkness Thunderbolt 14]

Ok never had my oc judged before but I want to you to judge him, his name is Claude Von Trot and here is a hand drawn picture to help but there is no color and its sideways for some reason.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

I asked a question about Dust earlier about his backstory... Could you uh... You know... Answer it... Please?

Oh, I thought it was really tragic

He really cared about Chisel and he went through so much pain...I could've mentioned it, but around that time you asked about my thoughts on his bro I was in an arguement with someone.

Ok never had my oc judged before but I want to you to judge him, his name is Claude Von Trot and here is a hand drawn picture to help but there is no color and its sideways for some reason.image.jpg

I really don't have an actual legit critique for this sense it doesn't have a story, but i'll see what I can find in this one.

 

For starters, he looks very princely :3

Like a handsome poneh. 

I would so far rate him a 5, because i don't have any information to get a legit critique, if you know what I mean, So I apologize for that u.u

[~Sole~ 852]

Very interesting :3

The Good- Honestly, I rarely see griffon OCs, so this is actually pretty interesting! Sole is a really fitting name for a griffon! Not to mention, he looks pretty cool bro, and the statement "cutie marks are for pu***ies" had me rolling XD

The Bad- Like I said you don't have to change anything, but I would recommend not relating them to canon characters on the show. I mean I don't mind, but like I said it's a suggestion, no sweat! 

Rating: 8

thanks for the positive feedback, I tried to balance out his good and bad parts, to make him more relatable and beleivable as a character. And I added cannon characters for a few reasons, one of them is so it would make more sense timeline wise.

[Flow 1,619]

Alrighty!

Oh and thank you, i'll be sure to keep going! ^-^

The Good- I really loved your OCs design, it was REALLY cute. Ironically, she really loves cute things, another thing I really love about her! For her being a pegasi, it is no surprise that she will idolize RD, and that's cool with me :3 I too used to idolize her...well..when I was a pegasus lol. I admire her knowledge on flight!

 

The Bad- I know you're very sensitive to critism, as am I too, so don't worry ^^.

I think it was probably the whole death of parents situation that kinda lowered the mood...like it's depressing and personal, ya know? But on a few notes, I don't really care if the OCs parents are dead or alive, all i'm saying is that it can create one of them unsettling moods.

 

Just note, i'm not asking you to change anything. I honestly think your OC is as darling as it is now, Sweetie. ^___^ So no worries!

 

Rating- 10

 

I knew the thing about her parents being dead would be a downside to her, but I never knew that my OC would receive the score of 10, well thanks for the review!

 

-Flow

[Budding Night 1,043]

Oh, Oh! Me?

 

Do you mind doing my dear Evening Glory? I am very proud of her and tend to update and add things to her personality and backstory regularly. She's perfect in my eyes so I'd like to see what others think, and you seem good :3

She can be located in my signature. Thanks and good luck with all your other reviews!

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

Oh, oh do me.

Would love to hear your opinion on Muspel. Sh's my newest OC and might still need some work done on her.

Here's her profile.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Oh, Oh! Me?

 

Do you mind doing my dear Evening Glory? I am very proud of her and tend to update and add things to her personality and backstory regularly. She's perfect in my eyes so I'd like to see what others think, and you seem good :3

She can be located in my signature. Thanks and good luck with all your other reviews!

 

The Good- Her story is absolutely perfect! So put together and spot on, I could just see it happening! The design is really beautiful on your OC as well!

 

The Bad- Nothing i've seen.

 

Rating: 10

Oh, oh do me.

Would love to hear your opinion on Muspel. Sh's my newest OC and might still need some work done on her.

Here's her profile.

The Good- Lucky for you, I wub Pyromancers! :3 I think his design is really neat! I think it's interesting how she lost her tail in an magic accident, many OCs can't live without their tails!

 

The Bad- What I would recommend is taking some of that soot off her mane...she would look like a giraffe xD lol i keed i keed,

 

Rating: 9

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

I have four OCs, but for this one, I'll have you review Night Flare. 

 

He can be found here: 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/night-flare-r2923

 

He actually also has a powered-up stage

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/night-flare-flame-stage-r2924