Kyouko-Chan's OC Reviews!

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

                              ~PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING!~

 

 

 

 

This was inspired by other reviews done by Blue Moon and other users, so I don't want to hear anyone say that I copied or something stupid. Otherwise I won't be a really kind shotagirl9 ^.^

I think reviewing OCs looks like a lot of fun!
So I decided "Hey, I think i'll do something like that X3"

I will give my review on your OC as such:

The Good:
The Bad:
Rating: 

Don't take it personally if I mention any flaws (the bad) about your OC...I would ever so like it if you would be subtle about it, and/or talk about it like adults other than blindly lashing out at me. (As i've seen in many other OC reviews). 

The Good- Mentions anything good I see in your OC, and being the madam I am I will always find something good in your OC unless it look way too mary sue, and that when The Bad comes in.

The Bad- Mentions the worse I see in your OC. If I see a flaw that I believe should be patched up immediately to save your precious character, I will tell you. I won't be hard on you about it...but if I see an alicorn or any dark OCs, you bet your flank i'll be blunt about it. I mean not only do color schemes make up a huge part of your OC, but you want your OC to look like part of the community not an outcast with a boohoo back story. Let's not forget the character's personality, that must play a HUGE role.

Rating- At the end of each review, I will give your OC a rating!
             



So go ahead and post away! 
I apologize if I don't get to your OC on time...it either means i'm busy or got other things to do, so don't think i'm ignoring you! I can never ignore someone!

Thank you, and I hope you like what you read!




 

Edited July 18, 2013 by Kyouko-Chan

[Leafeon 2,701]

Oooh! Do me!

 

If you could review either/both/neither of Firebolt and Memento that would be great. Their links are in my signature. I would prefer Memento, if only one.

 

Warning: I don't english well.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Oooh! Do me!

 

If you could review either/both/neither of Firebolt and Memento that would be great. Their links are in my signature. I would prefer Memento, if only one.

 

Warning: I don't english well.

Yay! Alright here we go!

 

Firebolt:

 

The Good- First though: "So freaking adorable!" She looks really original, as well as her cutie mark! Her colors go well together...sorta like red velvet!

 

The Bad- Nothing really :3

 

Rating: 10...huzzah!

 

Memento: 

 

The Good- He looks like a really chill character! His cutie is so unique, like unseen! I barely see green OCs anymore, so it mad meh smile . His story is over all amazing!

 

The Bad- I'm not to keen on the whole cliched changeling ponies, but this one was put together so carefully, so well put that i'll let it pass!

 

Rating- 8

[fireheart 4]

hay. My OC is named fireheart. his cutie mark is a representation of his personality. he has a fiery passion about everything he does and all of his friends. i haven't really written his back story yet but i am working on it.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

hay. My OC is named fireheart. his cutie mark is a representation of his personality. he has a fiery passion about everything he does and all of his friends. i haven't really written his back story yet but i am working on it.

Fireheart:

 

The Good- I'm assuming it's the character in your profile picture. Let's begin shall we :3

I really like cutie marks that represent the personality, because it focuses on the pony more than it's talent. I think it's a sweet concept to put out that he has a fiery passion for things. It sets a really great example to other ponies!

 

The Bad- I'm only judging by the picture, so don't take it personal hehe. Okay, well the first problem I see with this is that it has to much of a striking resemblance to Rainbow Dash. But since it's pony creator, I can see your problem. Try drawing and making your OC, and come up with an original mane/tail style. I don't mind if it looks like another pony's, but try to avoid making it look like one of the mane six. It's a huge No-no! Here is a second problem...(sorry for the probs im helping you out TT^TT) Blue and black colors are highly overdone...try coming up with a different color scheme, and make the colors lighter. Many ponies in MLP are bright, colorful ponies...so feel no shame in it! ^w^

 

Rating- 7

[RAGESTAR 479]

This is my mane oc crimson grinn, let me know what you think.

P.S. I know grin only has one N but I don't really care, just deal with it...

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/crimson-grinn-r3232

[MidnightBlue 51]

I'll take the point deductions for the dark backstory. I want an honest rating. The link to my OC is in my signature.

[Milk Wave 454]

Um, question. Can it be anything other then Pony OC's since im interested to show you this one character of mine that's from an anime instead :3

 

If not, then you can do a review about Hyperion Zeta (in my siggy). Though it wasn't the original picture you can go through his bio to find out a lot more about him.

Edited July 10, 2013 by Funny Snout

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Could you review my OC, Blue Moon? His link is in my signature (make sure to only click the "http" part or else it won't work.) Be as harsh as you like.

 

Thanks!

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

This is my mane oc crimson grinn, let me know what you think.

P.S. I know grin only has one N but I don't really care, just deal with it...

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/crimson-grinn-r3232

Wow. O.O

 

The Good- Well I see some good in this...I mean I like the fact that he is indeed a pony with magic...who is a unicorn. ^^

His look i'll admit is pretty epicsauce!

 

The Bad-...Welll...I really didn't like the back story. For one, it was too boohoo-ish. Secondly it was really morbid...like REALLY REALLY MORBID. I sorta stopped reading after getting to the part about your character finding a dead, beaten, and raped mother with her child crying over her. I just found it a little TOO far.

Therefore..sorta mary-sue. I think if you fixed that, your character would be so much better. ^__^

 

Rating: 5

 

 

 

Rating:

Um, question. Can it be anything other then Pony OC's since im interested to show you this one character of mine that's from an anime instead :3

 

If not, then you can do a review about Hyperion Zeta (in my siggy). Though it wasn't the original picture you can go through his bio to find out a lot more about him.

Sure, I really don't mind!

Though this is mainly based around pony reviews, there are some acceptions I can limit us too on this thread. So of course, if you really feel the need to

[Naught Important 433]

Hello, could you do one of the characters linked in my signature? The one I would want you to review the most would be Darling, the second link down, but you can do whichever you want. Although, I would steer clear of the three characters at the bottom. Their information and backstory is a little bit outdated.

Edited July 10, 2013 by Star Scribe

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

I'll take the point deductions for the dark backstory. I want an honest rating. The link to my OC is in my signature.

 

The Good- I didn't think yours was really dark at all! Just a little side note, I really do dig mechanical parts on a pony! :3 I really loved your character's design, and your art too! I liked how being a musician wasn't a factor for him no matter how hard his dad pushed him into doing something he didn't want to. I believe that's totally relatable!

 

The Bad- I have no inlking about the whole "I got my cutie mark over night" thing. When a pony discovers their talent, their mark automatically appears on their buns. Lol I said buns XD. But that's the only problem I see with this OC.

 

Rating- I'll give it a 9 :3 (honest rate!)

[Milk Wave 454]

@

 

 Thanks! This is a review of Garoro, my keronian OC from the anime Keroro Gunso. I didn't get to color well, but the stray lines on his pic is all red blood >:3

 

http://h74blood-garoro.deviantart.com/

 

The bio is below his picture btw. 

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

I'll take the point deductions for the dark backstory. I want an honest rating. The link to my OC is in my signature.

Oh, sorry my review didn't seem to send to you...please check the thread to read yours, i'm terribly sorry >.<

I don't know why it did that!

Could you review my OC, Blue Moon? His link is in my signature (make sure to only click the "http" part or else it won't work.) Be as harsh as you like.

 

Thanks!

The Good- Your pony looks like a very decent one! I'm not just saying this because i've known you for a while lol. I can just see the originality shine on this one...like a simple pony. ^^

 

The Bad- Nothing I see.

 

Rating: 10 :3

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Oh, sorry my review didn't seem to send to you...please check the thread to read yours, i'm terribly sorry >.<

I don't know why it did that!

The Good- Your pony looks like a very decent one! I'm not just saying this because i've known you for a while lol. I can just see the originality shine on this one...like a simple pony. ^^

 

The Bad- Nothing I see.

 

Rating: 10 :3

Yay! Simple and normal was what was in my mind when I made Blue Moon, so I'm glad you see him that way.

 

Thanks for the review and I'm happy he got a good rating. Have fun with the rest of the reviews!

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

 

Hello, could you do one of the characters linked in my signature? The one I would want you to review the most would be Darling, the second link down, but you can do whichever you want. Although, I would steer clear of the three characters at the bottom. Their information and backstory is a little bit outdated.

 

The Good- She def lives up to her name!! She is just so cute >.< I really love how you put a physical flaw on this character, not once have I seen a tailless pony! I really love her color schemes especailly!

 

The Bad- I would normally yell "OUTCAST ALERT!", but i'll let it slide, because the cause of her bullying days is actually well put together, and very likely.

 

Rating: 9

[fireheart 4]

Fireheart:

 

The Good- I'm assuming it's the character in your profile picture. Let's begin shall we :3

I really like cutie marks that represent the personality, because it focuses on the pony more than it's talent. I think it's a sweet concept to put out that he has a fiery passion for things. It sets a really great example to other ponies!

 

The Bad- I'm only judging by the picture, so don't take it personal hehe. Okay, well the first problem I see with this is that it has to much of a striking resemblance to Rainbow Dash. But since it's pony creator, I can see your problem. Try drawing and making your OC, and come up with an original mane/tail style. I don't mind if it looks like another pony's, but try to avoid making it look like one of the mane six. It's a huge No-no! Here is a second problem...(sorry for the probs im helping you out TT^TT) Blue and black colors are highly overdone...try coming up with a different color scheme, and make the colors lighter. Many ponies in MLP are bright, colorful ponies...so feel no shame in it! ^w^

 

Rating- 7

ya sorry about making him look like rainbow. i'm not good at drawing so i just used a pony creator. i'm trying to get better at drawing so i can start drawing my own OC's btw i just got muffin status so i posted my OC on the roleplay character database. and thinks for the being honest with the rating.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

@

 

 Thanks! This is a review of Garoro, my keronian OC from the anime Keroro Gunso. I didn't get to color well, but the stray lines on his pic is all red blood >:3

 

http://h74blood-garoro.deviantart.com/

 

The bio is below his picture btw. 

The Good- I really liked how you put flaws into this character! For someone who has a lot of skill, deffinately has a lot of issues. I think that flaws is what really makes the character, the character ya know? He honestly sounds like a really cool, yet scary character to know. I loved having mixed feelings towards another's character, more exciting that way!

 

The Bad- I feel that he has a bit too much of everything...to many weaknesses, to many powers and abilities. It almost makes it sound mary sue-ish to say the least.  To see that he has all these, it can get really confusing especailly to the reader. So I feel if you go through and choose maybe two or three things, it would really clear the fog.

 

Rating: I'll give it an 8 :3

[Pinkie D Pie 1,035]

Feel free to do Aarod, and yes I'll take the deductions for the sob back story, and for the color scheme.

 

You can also do Shadow Stalker if you want, but that one is more of a fun character who I hardly ever use, and has quite the unbelievable story.

 

Both are linked in my sig, so feel free, i'm not good at coming up with stories for them, so yeah there short... Also don't do Quillusion, she's my now unused first OC, who has an ugly color scheme that needs to be updated.

[Milk Wave 454]

The Good- I really liked how you put flaws into this character! For someone who has a lot of skill, deffinately has a lot of issues. I think that flaws is what really makes the character, the character ya know? He honestly sounds like a really cool, yet scary character to know. I loved having mixed feelings towards another's character, more exciting that way!

 

The Bad- I feel that he has a bit too much of everything...to many weaknesses, to many powers and abilities. It almost makes it sound mary sue-ish to say the least.  To see that he has all these, it can get really confusing especailly to the reader. So I feel if you go through and choose maybe two or three things, it would really clear the fog.

 

Rating: I'll give it an 8 :3

Hehe, thanks!

I was expecting a much lower score, but I left out a bunch of things that makes him much more overpowered then what he is now.

Technically he is a mary-sue, but he's usually hanging on the edge of life every day since most fights come to him.

There's too many traits about this character to explain him really. I gave him the exception of since he's just an experiment with loads and loads of technical data put into him that its basically a super soldier on super steroids.

 

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

Feel free to do Aarod, and yes I'll take the deductions for the sob back story, and for the color scheme.

 

You can also do Shadow Stalker if you want, but that one is more of a fun character who I hardly ever use, and has quite the unbelievable story.

 

Both are linked in my sig, so feel free, i'm not good at coming up with stories for them, so yeah there short... Also don't do Quillusion, she's my now unused first OC, who has an ugly color scheme that needs to be updated.

Aarod Brachuin:

 

The Good- I really didn't mind this OC, despite some plot holes ^-^. I really love how you made him act like an average eighteen year old...what really interests me is that not only does he look somewhat like an average pony, but he didn't like his rich life style. Many people would love that life style!

 

The Bad- Nothing really that i can think of.

 

Rating- 9

 

Shadow Stalker:

 

The Good- (Don't hate me but i'm not sure if I see anything >.<)

 

The Bad- For starters, she looks like a recolor of Twilight, darker and a pointy horn. What about makes it sorta resemble Twi is the cutie mark involves magic. (I don't mind if the cutie is about magic, but it's only the fact it looks like Twi is what makes it mary-sue)

 

I'm giving my honest opinion...Aarod is a really good character! TO be honest, I think this one should be remade. ^^ With a ton of tweaking, this one can improve!

 

Rating: 2

[RAGESTAR 479]

Wow. O.O

The Good- Well I see some good in this...I mean I like the fact that he is indeed a pony with magic...who is a unicorn. ^^

His look i'll admit is pretty epicsauce!

The Bad-...Welll...I really didn't like the back story. For one, it was too boohoo-ish. Secondly it was really morbid...like REALLY REALLY MORBID. I sorta stopped reading after getting to the part about your character finding a dead, beaten, and raped mother with her child crying over her. I just found it a little TOO far.

Therefore..sorta mary-sue. I think if you fixed that, your character would be so much better. ^__^

Rating: 5

Rating:

Sure, I really don't mind!

Though this is mainly based around pony reviews, there are some acceptions I can limit us too on this thread. So of course, if you really feel the need to

I see your point, he tory is really dark, but that's how I wanted it to be, he's meant to have a dark and sad past, but the thing that I'm concerned about, is that you claimed he was mary sue....I'm sorry but how is THAT making him a mary sue? A mary sue is somone who is stupidly perfect or somone who is a mirror image of the creators personality...but this shows niether of those, so could you please give me a valid reason to how exactly is he mary sue?

[Pinkie D Pie 1,035]

Aarod Brachuin:

 

The Good- I really didn't mind this OC, despite some plot holes ^-^. I really love how you made him act like an average eighteen year old...what really interests me is that not only does he look somewhat like an average pony, but he didn't like his rich life style. Many people would love that life style!

 

The Bad- Nothing really that i can think of.

 

Rating- 9

 

Shadow Stalker:

 

The Good- (Don't hate me but i'm not sure if I see anything >.<)

 

The Bad- For starters, she looks like a recolor of Twilight, darker and a pointy horn. What about makes it sorta resemble Twi is the cutie mark involves magic. (I don't mind if the cutie is about magic, but it's only the fact it looks like Twi is what makes it mary-sue)

 

I'm giving my honest opinion...Aarod is a really good character! TO be honest, I think this one should be remade. ^^ With a ton of tweaking, this one can improve!

 

Rating: 2

 

Thank you for the one on Aarod, I really consider him to be my main OC, and is probably my favorite out of all of mine

.

Shadow Stalker, yeah I knew she would be low, like I said fun character, every one has to have them... or maybe that's just me.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

I see your point, he tory is really dark, but that's how I wanted it to be, he's meant to have a dark and sad past, but the thing that I'm concerned about, is that you claimed he was mary sue....I'm sorry but how is THAT making him a mary sue? A mary sue is somone who is stupidly perfect or somone who is a mirror image of the creators personality...but this shows niether of those, so could you please give me a valid reason to how exactly is he mary sue?

Many mary sues involve having a terrible...or horrifying back stories. Yours on the other hand just kinda crossed that line...though with a few acceptions, I don't mind dark characters...just not as dark and morbid as that is. The story was what I describe to be as a boohoo backstory, like I said already, is considered mary-sue...or in your case a Gary-stu. I think if you took all that out and made a few major improvements here and there, and just give it maybe a creepy, light story, it would be less of a gary-stu.

[~Silver Essence~ 2,621]

Heh, constructive criticism towards others OC's? I"m in.

 

My OC is alright, and I guess a review wouldn't hurt.

 

The link towards him is under my signature.

 

Here's a reference for bonus points: