The day started wih me waking up at approximately 8:30am and then deciding to go back to sleep. When I awoke again it was about 10:00am. I then decided to skip breakfast and proceed to philander about the interwebs whilst lying in bed and dreading the moment I would have to leave for work. I showered, brushed my teeth, got dressed and did all the other daily minutiae that comprises my morning routine. Sigh.
Sadly neither sickness nor death fell upon and and it behooved me to, at long last, leave my humble abode and step out into the cold, cruel world and set forth upon my journey to make mad stacks of riches.
Due to the close proximity of my place of employment, I have always preferred to walk rather than take any other means of transportation. I find it allows me to channel my energy and stabilize my chakras in such a way that I can best communicate with my animal spirits and remember how badly I want to be the best, like no one ever was. On the way there in came across a very cross looking cross-eyed and apparently cross-dressing crossing guard who's arms were crossed holding a large cross. He appeared to be proselytizing something to the masses but I could quite make it out. I considered getting closer to find out what the meaning of this commotion was but thought "Nah, I'm Roughshod. I don't have time for this!" and went on my merry way. I whistled the Argentinian anthem as well.
Once I arrived at work I was greeted by my adoring coworkers and subordinates(no one is superior to me obviously). I spent the next few hours break dancing to the works of Mozart while philosophizing on the crises of the Aztec empire. When lunch rolled on by I simply stepped outside and allowed photosynthesis to take its course.
The rest of the day is a blur honestly. I recall arm wrestling a chihuahua and inventing a new language but then again that could just be a premonition of what's to come. I often have visions of that sort.
So that was my day. Not too bad if I do day so myself.
All typos above were intentional. This especially includes the pun 'day so myself'. You are welcome. I suppose now I can add 'generously donated wit' to the things I accomplished on this morrow. The truth is rough but I sure can be smooth. Huzzah.