Can guys and girls be just friends?

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

Male/female friendships, when not prefacing a romantic partnership, or providing details on such, where that which is heretofore referred to by its nomenclature in an platonic fashion has a denotation uncertainly relevant to its delineated idiosyncrasies, having been circumvented in overt secrecy, provides neither a lack nor overabundance of what may or may not count as bigendered partnerships in the context of semi-romantic partnership, depending on its relative synergy with the interpsychological mechanics, except in cases where that which is true fails to avoid settling into a state of non-verifiability.

 

Come on, this is just silly.

[Sekr Gray 520]

Most of my friends have been lasses. Something about guys in general just end up turning them off of talking with me, so I tend to get along with females much easier.

[Limeblossom 482]

I'm a not so good when it comes to communicating with females.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Limeblossom

[Kiri 7,288]

I don't really have guy friends IRL at the moment, but I had a really good friendship with one in the past, and it always remained platonic. So yes, guys and girls can definitely be friends without anything romantic going on!

[Akari of Duskshire 581]

I'm a girl who's had more guys for friends than other girls. I only had a crush on one of them, but it lasted a few months without going anywhere.

 

A lot of my classmates seem to think that any guy involved with me beyond mere acquaintance is in a romantic/sexual relationship with me. For example, I befriended a guy by sharing part of my lunch with him and we were friends ever since. We then spent half of the year telling our class that no, we aren't dating, no, we have no interest in dating, and no, we aren't friends with benefits.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Akari of Duskshire

[Elysia 269]

I really don't see any reason why not, honestly

[Celtore 2,770]

Of course! I was good friends with this lady in my software course. She was really skilled at drawing, she's part of what inspired me to try boosting my art skills.

[Moony the Cat 3,702]

I can just say, that im a guy and i was friends with many girls.

 

I also had boys as friends, but i did often regret it, because most of them werent that nice, one of them tried to bring me to smoking, the other one just bullied me after a while...

I did always feel better by talking to girls.

 

So i even had more female friends. 

I never had a relationship with anyone and most of the girls i had as friends, did already have a boyfriend, so we were just friends.

It totally works. 

[Eloquence 2,076]

Of course not! You cannot possibly be friends with someone who's gender you can be attracted to. That's why bisexuals don't have any friends

 

There are no friends, only prey

 

 

Sorry, I just had to make that joke. But of course guys and girls can be just friends! First off not everyone is straight, so that just makes this argument silly, and second off just because you like guys/girls doesn't mean you're going to like every single guy/girl you see like that!

 

[undiscorded 120]

Of course they can I'm male and 90% of my friends are female it doesn't bother me or any of there boy friend's

[simba86 1,541]

I am a guy, and yes they can be just friends, just be carefull you don't catch cooties, there is an epidemic of them right now

 

[CadetGrey 267]

[This post is hidden. No offense to anyone, but I am no longer part of the community and no longer wish to be an (active) part of the forums. I treasure the friendships I made along the way. Thank you!]

Edited March 28, 2021 by CadetGrey

[Member Berry 1,217]

Most of my friends are guys Granted, most of them are gay but that's not the point :') Of course a straight girl and a straight guy can just be friends. 

[Wolfeus Silverpaw 301]

I'm a guy. I know it's possible, because I've always gotten along better with girls. ^.^

[rarity1 461]

Of course, friends are awesome regardless of them being guys or girls.

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

Yes! I have seen lots of guys and girls who were just friends with each other. Not to mention here on the forums.

[Samurai Equine 51,394]

Of course they can. 

 

Anyone remember that episode of The Cleveland Show? The one where the message was "Girls and guys can't be friends"? Worst thing I had ever seen on television in a long time.

 

The idea that men and women can never be friends is a very primitive mindset, and a sexist one too. Usually it's sexist towards males, but it can be just as sexist towards females. Worst of all; whenever people talk about this stupid mindset, they never get specific. Are they both the same age, or are they different ages? Are they both random strangers or related somehow?

• It typically implies that all males cannot control themselves around any and all females; that they only care about conquest, or they have no sense of self control.
• It also can be sexist toward females. It implies that if they are thinking about being in a relationship with the guy, and they have a window of opportunity to act on it, then they'll do so without second thought.
• It can also imply that, from the moment we are born, we are conditioned to only care about relationships (romantic or intimate).
• It can imply that age doesn't matter; that we'll all act this way, especially if we have friends that will congratulate us for being with someone older or younger.
• Heck, if you want to go REALLY deep; it can imply that men and women can't even have a healthy relationship despite being related by blood. It can even imply that children cannot be raised or conditioned to be nice and have self-control.

All these ideas are just ridiculous. Bad enough this kind of thinking devalues who we are as individuals; it's even worse when we have "friends" who expect us to act that way to the point of peer pressure.

We're humans, not animals.
We are not slaves to base needs, instincts, desires, or anything like that. We have self-control for a reason.

 

Now I do understand WHY people might say men and women can't be friends. There are homewreckers and people with weak will power around every corner. Sometimes it feels like for every honest and nice person, there is someone waiting to take advantage of others, and those horrible people will nearly make us all look bad. But the world isn't black and white, and like I said, we're not animals.

As long as we can exercise good judgement, trust in others, self-control, and remember that each person is different; I think we'll be okay. 

[mcpon14 87]

Yes! I have seen lots of guys and girls who were just friends with each other. Not to mention here on the forums.

I agree with this.  Why can't they be?

[MontagnaMagica 307]

As a guy; yes, definitely! I have many female friends (mainly because I've worked at T.J. Maxx for almost 4 years, and the demographics of my coworkers are at least 75% female, if not more). Sometimes, we'll hang out outside work (as a group or even just the two of us), but it's nothing more than that.

 

Now, the downside to that attitude is this... I've been hiking and sharing breakfasts with one of my classmates before work each week. I like her, but since our culture is so used to just "hanging out", as opposed to "going out", I guess I need to go beyond simply asking her out, as I already technically have. One of my friends told me I actually have to ask her to be my girlfriend at some point. That sounds kinda silly to me... What do you all think about that?

Edited December 10, 2015 by MontagnaMagica

[Carl Poppa 464]

Well, throughout elementary and middle school, all of my friends were guys (I'm a chick) because the other girls all made fun of me for being a tomboy and for not being well groomed enough for them (the second thing was due to not having the money for fancy stuff like makeup).  In high school I still had mostly male friends and a few female friends, and I only had a crush on a few of them.  As an adult, I have no trouble remaining friends platonically with those people or making platonic friendships with people of either gender in most cases (if the person is the kind of person I can befriend, anyway).  However, a large number of my deep friendships formed in adulthood have been struck by one person or the other getting feelings for the other and it either not being reciprocated or becoming something more... now most of my friends are females and there's only a few males, but you know, based on the point of this thread, if straight guys and straight girls couldn't be friends due to attraction, none of my friendships would be possible at all since I'm bi, sooooo...

 

Yeah.  Duh.  Of course guys and girls can be just friends.

 

Of course they can. 

 

Anyone remember that episode of The Cleveland Show? The one where the message was "Girls and guys can't be friends"? Worst thing I had ever seen on television in a long time.

 

The idea that men and women can never be friends is a very primitive mindset, and a sexist one too. Usually it's sexist towards males, but it can be just as sexist towards females. Worst of all; whenever people talk about this stupid mindset, they never get specific. Are they both the same age, or are they different ages? Are they both random strangers or related somehow?

• It typically implies that all males cannot control themselves around any and all females; that they only care about conquest, or they have no sense of self control.
• It also can be sexist toward females. It implies that if they are thinking about being in a relationship with the guy, and they have a window of opportunity to act on it, then they'll do so without second thought.
• It can also imply that, from the moment we are born, we are conditioned to only care about relationships (romantic or intimate).
• It can imply that age doesn't matter; that we'll all act this way, especially if we have friends that will congratulate us for being with someone older or younger.
• Heck, if you want to go REALLY deep; it can imply that men and women can't even have a healthy relationship despite being related by blood. It can even imply that children cannot be raised or conditioned to be nice and have self-control.

All these ideas are just ridiculous. Bad enough this kind of thinking devalues who we are as individuals; it's even worse when we have "friends" who expect us to act that way to the point of peer pressure.

We're humans, not animals.
We are not slaves to base needs, instincts, desires, or anything like that. We have self-control for a reason.

 

Now I do understand WHY people might say men and women can't be friends. There are homewreckers and people with weak will power around every corner. Sometimes it feels like for every honest and nice person, there is someone waiting to take advantage of others, and those horrible people will nearly make us all look bad. But the world isn't black and white, and like I said, we're not animals.

As long as we can exercise good judgement, trust in others, self-control, and remember that each person is different; I think we'll be okay. 

 

There are two things I wanna say about this post:

 

1) The Cleveland Show, along with Seth McFarlane's other shows, is sarcastic and satirical.  The "message" you refer to is pointing out stupidity in the way some people in society behave.  It's a comedy, it's not meant to be teaching you to act like the characters do, it's trying to make fun of people who behave the way the characters are behaving.

 

2) Humans actually are animals.  Furthermore, not all non-human animals just want sex out of the opposite sex, either, in fact plenty of them don't.  I've had cats and dogs all my life, and sometimes the males and females intermingle peacefully without ever trying to reproduce, not to mention that many species are entirely monogamous.  I do agree we aren't primitive beasts, and I do agree that people can be friends with the gender they're attracted to, but other animals are just as capable of being nothing but friends with the opposite sex as we are.

 

 

[Miles 2,512]

*What 99.9% of people are thinking when they enter this thread*

"Why am I answering this" - *sigh* - "But I have to."

---

*The other 0.1% are thinking*

"The obvious answer is too simple."

---

I'm an only child, however, from infancy til I was about 8 or 9 my neighbor and I grew up like siblings.  She was about a year older than I was.  But we both considered each other like brother and sister.  (Of course, she then moved away, which really sucked... But she didn't move super far away...)

Anyway, my answer to the question is a question in answer form.

Why didn't she and I consider each other just friends?

Because we considered each other siblings.  She was my first friend, but she was more than a friend because she was like a sister to me.

Therefore, beyond the obvious "well of course boys and girls; guys and gals can be just friends" response, I just wanted to bring up the fact that you shouldn't have to always limit how you see others with "just" or "only" - you can do that and it's not a problem, but consider treating others like family, and you won't have to be "just friends."

Oh and have a bonus picture of me when I was about 2 or 3 with my "sister" when she was about 3 or 4...

Also we're holding a lion cub.   

~ Miles

[Samurai Equine 51,394]

There are two things I wanna say about this post:

 

1) The Cleveland Show, along with Seth McFarlane's other shows, is sarcastic and satirical.  The "message" you refer to is pointing out stupidity in the way some people in society behave.  It's a comedy, it's not meant to be teaching you to act like the characters do, it's trying to make fun of people who behave the way the characters are behaving.

 

2) Humans actually are animals.  Furthermore, not all non-human animals just want sex out of the opposite sex, either, in fact plenty of them don't.  I've had cats and dogs all my life, and sometimes the males and females intermingle peacefully without ever trying to reproduce, not to mention that many species are entirely monogamous.  I do agree we aren't primitive beasts, and I do agree that people can be friends with the gender they're attracted to, but other animals are just as capable of being nothing but friends with the opposite sex as we are.

 

Hey! Thanks for replying to my post.   If I may address the points you made?

 

1) Maybe so, but it can be hard to say sometimes. Seth's animated TV shows tend to play hard and loose with which moments we're suppose to take at face value and which moments we're suppose take seriously. It doesn't help that said Seth and his production crew have kind of lost touch over time with good story telling. But focusing on the episode in question? Even for satire, it was still terrible. Satire can still be fun AND challenge social ideas in a positive way. This show had a chance to do that, and didn't.

 

2) Okay, okay. Let's not get into semantics, here. Animals, primitive beasts, whatever word you want to use; I think the idea I was trying to convey was pretty clear. It's great that animals can get along for reasons other than reproduction, with their own and with other species too, but the facts still remain. Animals rely on nature, instinct, etc. They don't have the same level of self-awareness, self-control, and other such traits that humans have. We might think we see them on our pets and what not, but usually we're just projecting.

 

But thanks again for replying. I do love when people can challenge each other intellectually. As long as everyone can come out better for it. 

[Nightfall Gloam 18,258]

Of course guys and girls can be just friends. I don't see why (particularly in high school scenarios) if a guy and a girl hang out with each other, they must all of the sudden be "boyfriend and girlfriend"

[best poni 1,519]

Yes. I have some friends that are girls that I'm not attracted to, but they're more tomboyish. I'm closer to them than I am to my "girly" female friends (which I don't have a lot of) 

[Detritus 258]

I can't speak from experience because I've never had a female friend (I must creep them out or something), but I don't see any reason why a guy and a girl couldn't have a friendship.