Celestia wants you to drug a pony. Do you do it?

[KillerKingBakudan 702]

You get a package in the mail from none other than Celestia. You open it and find a bag of gold coins, which in USD is worth at least tens of thousands.... along with a couple of pills. The attached note says that the money is only a down payment. Triple the amount will be sent to you at a later date IF you follow Celestia's instructions.

On the following day, you are to take the pills to Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop in Canterlot. You will order the most expensive premium tea on the menu, drop the pills into the tea so they can dissolve, and leave the glass on a table outside for a certain pony. The name of the pony is never given. This has to be done approximately ten minutes before noon.

The end of the note states that failure to comply will result in disastrous consequences. For you. It doesn't say what, only that Celestia promises you won't be able to enjoy the money you just received. Take it as you will.

This prompts you to visit a pony doctor. According to him, these pills are undocumented. He can't even tell you if they're a narcotic or poison. It's not likely that any general practitioner will have knowledge of what they are or their effects, and therefore, you shouldn't take them. But then that gets you thinking, perhaps they're just made from some rare herb that hasn't gotten exposure to the medical industry? You take the pills to Zecora for examination; she's too dumbstruck by them to make a clever rhyme. Maybe they're made from magical ingredients that can give you new powers? You take them to Sunburst; he can't even figure them out. You take them to Twilight; no luck with her either. Lastly, you start thinking, what if they're just candy? Pinkie Pie shuts that down in an instant by saying they're too boring.

So you're expected to put an unknown substance into a drink, to be consumed by an unknown pony. And you don't know what's going to happen to them, or what will happen to YOU if you don't do what Celestia says. How do you handle the situation?

[kinda deleted 224]

I will confront Princess Celestia with magic. (And a shotgun)

[Denim&Venöm 19,152]

Return to sender. Write down that the package could not be delivered as addressed. If sun butt is gonna be that cut and dry, she'll probably find a way to tie me off as a loose end, regardless if I did the deed or not. At least this way, I'll have a clear conscience. 

Besides, I don't think Celestia would be stupid enough to attach her name to such a scheme. She'd be more discreet. 

[Libra 11,691]

Well, considering this is the same alicorn who isnt above banishing her own sister to the moon for one thousand years, lord only knows what she cooked up for me if i refuse. And consideeing im worst case scenario (glass is half empty i swear!) I can imagine its not going to be pleasent.

so, I would have no other choice but to do what she requested me to do. However Denim&Venom does make an instresting point, how she could potientislly see me as a loose end that needed to be tied up, no matter what i do. So essentially its a lose-lose situation. 

[Castle Bleck 19,376]

Go back to Pinkie, ask her to break the fourth wall for me, read the spoilers to find out what the pills are, and then -- depending on whether they're actually bad or merely some obscure prank -- decide accordingly.

 

 

[cuteycindyhoney 13,308]

I would screw up my courage and confront Celestia. I have no wish to become a practitioner of of assassination. I suspect it may be Celestia's odd sense of humor, but I'd have to know for sure.  I will make no move without more data! 

[Prospekt 11,018]

I would probably lie and say that I have a prior engagement that day--far from Canterlot--with its own set of life-or-death consequences.

Though I suppose I could ask Discord to use his otherworldly powers to determine if the pills could be deadly. Or I could try and contact the princess herself and ask what the meaning of this is.

[Snow Frostflame 3,568]

I have very few morals, if a higher up asks me to do something chances are I'm going to do it depending on how loyal I'am to them. It also depends on who I'am effecting and how much I'am being paid. $30K to murder someone is pretty cheap, but seeing as the leader of the land is instructing me to do this chances are there would be no consequences for my actions.

So let's see this as a whole.

-I'd follow Princess Celestia to the ends of the earth if I could.

-I don't know who I'm effecting, but as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter. If Celestia wants them gone so badly chances are its someone who deserves death.

-I'm being paid rather poorly for endangerment/murder, but it balances everything out seeing as there will be no consequences for my actions.

-If I fail or refuse chances are I will be executed or tortured for treason by someone with Godly powers.

 Consider it done, Princess. This will be an easy paycheck.

[KatonRyu 1,033]

Considering the god-tier reward and the fact I have no idea who's going to take the drug, I'd probably do it. My only concern is that I'm obviously going to be backstabbed and scapegoated by Celestia later and then locked up. In that light, I'd probably use the money to get away without ever doing the deed, seeking refuge in a nation hostile to Equestria to minimize the chances of Celestia being able to get at me.

[Cash In 22,443]

I'd use that note as evidence and get Celestia incarcerated. If that fails, I'd have to try and start some sort of uprising. It probably wouldn't end well, but at that point I'd be out of options anyways.

[Narcissus 355]

I would take the money, do as requested and ask if she'd like me to drug any other ponies (for a similar fee of course). Easy money. 

[Scrubbed user 3,416]

I would want to know who the target is, just so I know if it's someone I like or not. Me actually doing the job depends on this info.

[Divine plywood 1,239]

My ruler and country needs my efforts? What an honor, Celestia have choosen me from all of the other ponies in Equestria! This task is so important that she gives it to me, rather than asking help from her own pupil and fellow-princess or captain of the royal guard. I'm flattered and after completing this secret mission, also filthy rich!

What I know these pills could just be some cough medicide. And even if they would be dangerous, I'm confident that who ever is going to drink that tea have done something horrible to deserve this to happen. After all she is a princess, she knows what have to be done. For princess, for Equestria!

[kaiser5578 340]

Who are we drugging?

if it's luna or Trixie than she can gut me for all I care

if it's blue blood or the film flam brothers... Well I guess I can retire early

[King of Canterlot 9,603]

Hmmmmm.......... 

I suppose I don't really have a choice do I? If I refuse, then more than likely Celestia will have me tortured and killed very painfully. Considering that I would much rather have my own life to live, I would go thru with the plan and do as Celestia says, hoping that she won't turn on me even after going thru with the plan. I would inform Celestia, however, that I would do no more such acts in the future, and if she wants somepony dead so badly, she'll have to find somepony other than me to do her dirty work.  

This is all assuming that the pills are deadly, though it could be the case that they aren't deadly and are just some type of very rare medicine Celestia wanted a pony to take without her confronting them about it, maybe because the pony refused to take the pills before, so she wants me slip them into the pony's tea right under their muzzle. Either way, I would slightly unwillingly go thru with the plan. 

[The Kaeya Simp 13,989]

I'd send a letter to Celestia and write

"Dear Princess Celestia,

You can take the bits and pills you gave me and stick it up your ass!"

[RDDash 19,191]

As long as I get to choose who is going to drink it and as long as she is hoofing the bill I'll do it, heck I might as well send the tea back to Celestia. If she is going to double cross me, I am going to take my shotgun and rip her guts out. That's fair.

Edited April 29, 2018 by R.D.Dash

[A French Derpy full of Salt 404]

As long as I get enough paid to get a AA-12, I can drug anypony.

Edited April 29, 2018 by Salty French Unicorn

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

 I'll do it. No questions asked. Anything for the Ruler of the Solar Empire. Even if it's gonna be unpleasant and/or to the point of no return. 

[shadowwarp940 1,303]

I rather not get killed by the princess, so sorry random pony. You're dead!

[The Recherche 29,968]

Ask for more details. If none are provided, nobody gets drugged. 

[MysticWolficorn 77]

No. I could get arrested if somepony caught me in the act, and the pony that drinks it dies. Instead I would visit Celestia and ask her the meaning of it. It could also be a pony pretending to be Celestia in the note.

[Ittoni 538]

Celestia... This is too shady for all the friendship preaching you do... Well I wouldn't tell her that, I'll just think it.

I would follow through pretending I accept the mission but when I visit Twilight for info on the drug I'll downright tell her what's going on so she knows. Besides she's more capable and powerful than Celestia is so we can figure out a plan to find out exactly what's happening. Intimidation is a common tactic I will not fall for even if it means my own sacrifice to prevent murder or something worse result of that attempt.

Edited October 4, 2020 by Ittoni