Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Mirage 24,747]

"You have to cut the grass first, then lay down flat."

[Treeglow Flicker 13,619]

"What on Earth does he do to this sink?!"

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"The 90s were all about girl power."

"And dunkaroos. It was a movement!" 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"I'm sucking the five-color d**k of MTG"

"I'm sorry _____, but these Wizards have massive c***s that need tending to"

Edited May 5, 2019 by Dusklicious

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"Hey! That's my pizza   : (  "

"Turn that frown upside down!" 

"  ) :  "

"Now listen here you little st." 

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

"I don't want to ruin your morning but I flushed a diaper, it's a mess up there."

 

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

"Just so you know, for future reference, I don't eat anything that's green." - "What sort of vegetables do you like then?" - "Gray ones."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"So legally speaking, Vision is like Tony's dog." 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"It'll be fine! You won't die, you just won't have hands!"

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

"Bo11ocks. Get real, as our American cousins say. Wake up and smell the coffee. Victorian values don't apply in a recession. I'm telling you, if I get a rich wife, I'll chuck [this job] and sit on my bum all day pretending to write the great novel while wifey pays the bills without one qualm of conscience."

 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"I'm going to help feed these birds because I like the smell of bird $#!+ in the morning. I give them food so they can pump out more and more bird $#!+!" 

Edited May 9, 2019 by Dusklicious

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

"You look familiar." - "I was your gardener for twelve years." - "Oh. You look different without my lawn under you." - "I don't take it with me when I go." - "Well I was right to trust you with it then."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"You suck almost as much as this dude." 

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

#1. "Only money is excepted; no cats, dogs, Mother-in-laws, Albino parrots, or ancient Roman artefacts, money only."

#2. "We were unable to complete your update because you are using a metered connection."

 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"Just put it in the microwave and there it is! Free money!"

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"I'm just telling you I better not end up being Beck E. Langston out of all of this." 

[Tao 7,545]

BOOM

[Mirage 24,747]

"The FBI does not spy."

 

LuL

[BabylonSister 218]

"I love him for his binger dingus."

"My husband is just straight up eating plain cold spaghetti out of a ziplock bag with his hands while we watch jojo. Sometimes he gets distracted reading the subtitles and just holds it over his head. I have pictures, I'll prove it."

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

A low voice from the television informed him quietly of the mating habits of tigers ...
 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"That's what I have. Not Alzheimer's, Sometimer's."

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"It felt like 50 Mexicans were shaking our trailer."

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,717]

"The Liverpool crowd are currently chanting in Spanish." 

[Tropical Melody 6,051]

The old-fashioned words wouldn't do anymore. To go down to the basement of one's emotions, switch on the light, stare the monster in the face and say 'I am in love' was not on, because that meant giving up control, that meant being vulnerable.