Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Lawyer Slip 2,547]

 "ok, just tell me the phone number, in like a rhythm, like, uh. Bum bum bah. Bum bah. Bum bah."

 "ok, one."

 "got it."

 "six."

 "uh-huh."

 "teen."

 " . . . "

"WELL I CAN'T GO BACK IN TIME AND PUT A ONE IN THERE!!"

[Iforgotmybrain 5,718]

“I saw the words red and sus together and had the among us theme song instantly playing inside my head”

[Tropical Melody 6,240]

"Maybe he sneezed and accidentally rubbed them out."

 

[Denim&Venöm 19,047]

 "Theres no greater sacrifice than someone else's"

[Samurai Equine 51,642]

(Sees Coca-Cola ads everywhere) ...I'm suddenly in the mood for Pepsi! 

[Denim&Venöm 19,047]

"Dad, am I adopted?"

"No, why the hell would I pick you?" 

 

[Shiny Silvermoon 3,817]

When you said that there was no black dog in the picture, I was like "That's how horror movies begin..." 

[Cash In 22,347]

"Impeccable driving? Mate, you're on the wrong side of the road."

[Iforgotmybrain 5,718]

“It’s an actual bee so I trust it to not just sting me for no reason”

[Lawyer Slip 2,547]

I mean, it shouldn't have broken, but it's not that bad.

[Cagey 4,248]

"The hype train? Nah, I'm going down with this fandom and boarding the hype Titanic."

[Denim&Venöm 19,047]

"And the answer is 'Oh my fking god...' " 

 

[Samurai Equine 51,642]

Your gift is in the mail. 

[Lawyer Slip 2,547]

Y'know, Lightning McQueen never did pay Mater that $32,000 in legal fees . . . 

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 3,112]

When I read a book, the book gets knowledge.

[Lawyer Slip 2,547]

 "We gotta hurry! We have to return all this money!

 "Uh . . . Boss, you ok?"

"No! I have to return all this money before the government finds out!"

 "Couldn't you just, not return it?"

 "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

 "I'm crazy enough to take on Batman."

 "But the IRS?!"

 "No thank you."

[Tropical Melody 6,240]

"Go away! It's for your own protection!"

 

 

[DubWolf 17,263]

On 2024-04-30 at 6:50 AM, Lawyer Slip said:

 "We gotta hurry! We have to return all this money!

 "Uh . . . Boss, you ok?"

"No! I have to return all this money before the government finds out!"

 "Couldn't you just, not return it?"

 "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

 "I'm crazy enough to take on Batman."

 "But the IRS?!"

 "No thank you."

Hope he checked to see if all the money was real or not .

[Denim&Venöm 19,047]

"Just look at me:

Died in Egypt.

Became a twink.

Went back to Egypt.

Now I'm in Detroit." 

 

[Samurai Equine 51,642]

My brain just alchemy'd it into existence!

[Tropical Melody 6,240]

"Yer lights are orange! And they're flickering!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 19,047]

 "I'm the bad bitch she pulled by being autistic."

[LetterTwister 165]

"you've heard of furries now get ready for
s...skinnies"

[Samurai Equine 51,642]

And I will turn my head into an orange. ... It usually gives me samurai powers for some reason.

[Tropical Melody 6,240]

"There's nothing less magical than a hotel guest overhearing a discussion about vomit, pee or grandma's powdered remains being swept up into a dust pan."