general Why do people choose to have kid(s)?

[Muffinnz 3,219]

To the people who have children -

 

 

Why? Isnt it just an extra baggage you put upon yourself?

Isnt it just something to suck the money out of your wallet for no reason?

Why do you choose to make yourself have to feed an extra mouth, pay for extra necessities, possibly pay for an extra car (not every parent does it), or pay for someone's tuition (not every parent does it), invest extra time out of your day, or forcing yourself to look after a child?

 

 

I always thought people do it because they feel like they are needed or feel they have a higher value

Edited April 1, 2020 by Muffinnz

[Splashee 28,564]

One of the biggest reasons I can think of it the biological clock within most humans. Even if you hate children, one day you might just want one anyways. I have dealt with people who changed their minds about having children when they became older. They used to argue that children would take up too much of their time. But then that day came when they just needed to have kids. And you couldn't even use their own arguments against them.

It is a powerful thing.

[Miss 6,229]

I will say the biological reason to procreate that someone mentioned earlier. And obviously nowadays it's also socially expected for people to have kids, so that was always there. 

Personally, I def. do not want children. Some give reasons like letting your legacy live on or to teach them to make the world a better place, but honestly that sounds like alot of unncessary pressure to put on a child/person and a big fuck you to their own ambitions they might want but don't go for them because they want to live up to some bogus legacy. 

I would say the best reason for wanting a child is just because you do. I would say adoption might be the best option for any party involved, but whatevs. Not gonna argue for it.

[EpicEnergy 23,218]

I think the reason they choose to have kids is because of the joy and happiness that the kids bring to the parents. While there are downsides to having kids, there are also good things that normally outweigh those downsides.

[Lucky Bolt 35,063]

I’m not sure really. I’ve always kind of gotten a happy feeling inside when I think of having a child (or two) and starting a family in the distant future with that one special person. Why? I don’t know. Always have.  It just makes me...happy. Maybe that’s why people choose to have kids? Because it makes them happy?  Buuuut sometimes kids just happen though, whether we purposely choose to have them or not. 

Edited March 31, 2020 by Lucky Bolt

[gamecubeguy214 2,512]

Some people are better with kids than others, so they're mentally prepped enough for the job. Others might have been told that you're irresponsible or selfish if you don't have kids, so they feel obliged.

[Twilight Luna 31,375]

They enjoy the stress and sleepless nights.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,341]

Looking at it objectively, it does seem like less people should choose to have children. It’s a whole lot of work, super expensive, and once you make the decision to have kids you can’t really back out of it.

I think it’s mostly a biological urge, yeah. And there are a lot of lows, but also a lot of highs. Probably both more lows and more highs than someone who doesn’t have children. Life is never boring with a child around  

[SharpWit 2,648]

For practical reasons, in developing countries people will have several kids, sadly because the chances of them all making it to adulthood is slimmer than in other parts of the world. When the parents reach a point where they can no longer support themselves, they will in turn recieve support from their able bodied children, and possibly in return help in rearing the grandchildren, maintaining a cycle so one's family members don't die earlier than they have too.

In more developed countries, the resources are available where children are more likely to make it to adulthood and don't have to support their parents nearly as much. More so, particularly in the US, by contributing via taxes and replacing them in the general workforce. That's why you see them having maybe one or two.

So people will have them for support when they're older and as replacements. Makes sense especially when the basic biological drive is simply to spread your genes, and thus being successful by nature's standards, since it's a form of self continuation.

Personally, I would like to have children one day to carry on my legacy and because I do enjoy their company, along with their unique perspective and words of wisdom.

Spoiler

Also, it's just fun making them. 

 

[TBD 17,254]

In general, probably to pass down their generation and/or just another 'nice' addition to the marriage pack. But God helps these parents and mainly the kids who are considered as 'accident'.  I can't stand these people who have the audacity to have a good o' times without protection while thinking nature of science will not grant them kids. Then afterwards they will be like "Duuh? how did that happen?"  I mean, what else do you idiots think it will happen? That the baby only comes from a stork?? 

 

Me on the other hand, I love kids and I'm good with them but thinking myself having one is way of a far fetch. Especially when I'm not in a relationship to begin with. Yeah I rather not think about it.

[Early Sunsets 2,106]

It could be a lot of reasons, and it changes from person to person. The emotional bond that only happens between parents and children, wanting a successor, wanting to spread good parenting by not being like their parents if said parents were cruel, human nature, or even religion. I know in my parents' religion it's considered a sin to not start a family if you're physically able. It wouldn't get a person thrown into Hell if they didn't have kids, but they'd still get in trouble for it.

Personally, I never want kids. I used to want two, or maybe three, but as I get older and more reclusive, I've realized I don't want kids (or even a spouse, for unrelated reasons). My dad's side of the family has way too many genetic physical and mental issues that I do not want to pass on. Hopefully my sister is of a similar mind and chooses to let our family's shit genes die off. Both of us inherited more than a few problems.

[Moony the Cat 3,702]

I guess some People want to have Kids because the thought of having a Family and taking care of someone makes them feel very happy and while i agree that Family is nice in Theory, i just wonder what use it has for the Children?

I dont think this world would ever be nice enough for me to want a child. As it stands Right now i cant find a single reason why i should have Kids in a world like this, other than some stupid sexual feelings, so i am Pretty sure that i also shouldnt have any.

Sure, some People have it nice and can follow their dreams but if we are being totally honest here, most uf us just sit their time out without having accomplished much of a Dream. This is not a world i would feel justified to have Children in.

Adopting a child however is a different Thing, because you would give someone a home who is already in this world and in need, that is something i could consider, if i would ever have a girlfriend and would be financially well.

[Oblivion 20,266]

Well for one I use to HATE the idea of having kids and find it rather pointless but I guess my biological clock (like another user said) is getting the the point where I'd imagine it's be fun to have a son (or daughter) to pass down my legacy, to teach to shoot, to have those magical moments together with fishing in a late after noon and to maybe hand him/her a beer at 15/16 and say "don't tell Mom" like grandpa did with me. Yeah I can sorts understand that. Unfortunately that's not going to happen any time soon as so far I have not been able to land a "career level job" and my income is not nearly high enough so I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to have those moments or not.

 

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

We exist to pass on our genes. Thus why people want kids.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,478]

At this point I'll never understand it. The obvious reason to me would of course be that they want children to love and care for, which I suppose makes the most sense, but when I go into a store and I hear 3 screaming kids and the parents clearly aren't so enthusiastic about that, I often wonder what the point was in the first place. There's already too many humans in the world as is. Yet, when anyone announces that they are going to have a child, social media is then flooded with people giving that person 15 million gold stars and endless praise and admiration. All just because they had sex, up to that point that's all they've done, but we treat them like a god for it. Maybe, juuuuuuuuuust maybe, we should stop being so rewarding to such a thing in this culture. That's my view on it.

[碇 シンジン 27,431]

Because the society has built this image that having a family and kids is what you are 'supposed' to have, this image is built around the premise of the human races survival. I bet that there would be much less kids around if humanity's existence didn't depend on people having kids.

Another factor is that people want to have meaning in their lives it's like a computer game where the level let's you do certain things but doesn't really tell you specifically what you need to do. People want something to hold on to so they can hide their uncertainty and what it better than acting knowitall to some clueless kid that is dependent on you. People want to run away since they don't understand what is going on so they make up their own rules and act like they knew what they were supposed to do from the beginning.

Another thing is that people just lose control. So people act by their nature and have sex because that is what nature compels us to do if we let ourselves act like wild animals. 

[Sunlight Glisten 368]

Oh muffinz. I have watched many of your post and I truely feel for you. You have been wronged in your life. You have been wronged by your absent father, you have been wronged by the public school system, you have been wronged by society as a whole. I am truely sorry. Because of all these nefarious happenstance of your life you have missed what truely is beautiful, lovely, admirable, and most of all you have missed love. 

To have a child is the farthest thing from a burden you can possibly get. I have 3 kids. My joy is in seeing their smiling faces. Hearing shouts of "daddys home" when I get home from work brings a smile to my inner most being. They do not take my money, I work so that I can provide for them not myself. I make food so that they can be nourished. (In times when they are gone I often do not eat) 

It id my duty as a father to protect them from the burdens and pains of this world. The same pains you have not been spared from that have made you so downcast. The world is full of dispare but in my house love, joy, and life spring eternal. 

Do I have a new car? (2001 still seems new to me) no. Can I afford to eat at restaurants? Maybe once every other week. Yet will I have and be able to give joy and love till my dieing breath? Yes. 

I wish you could have had a good father to see and know love as I have. 

There is a good father in heaven who does love and bring joy. He can help lay aside your bitterness of past hurt so that you can find love and joy in life. You need but ask. 

[Meson Bolt 2,648]

Well obviously some people don't choose to have kids. I wasn't supposed to happen, but I did. And I'm pretty sure I'm a disappointment to my parents. xD

But aside from that, I'm sure some people have good reasons. Perhaps it makes them happy, and that's really the only reasoning they need. You can't really judge what makes people happy, and while it's certainly challenging (at least, when I look at it), I guess the prospect of raising a child is an exciting thing for some folks.

For me though, I'm not sure. I might want to have some kids one day, maybe not too many, but probably at least one. Why you ask? Because I want someone to teach, someone to raise right (unlike how my parents did for me). I want to watch and see what a mother's love looks like first-hand. And I want to feel what it feels like for a father to love a child. I've never felt that, so I'm guessing that's why I want it.

[Muffinnz 3,219]

14 hours ago, Sunlight Glisten said:

Oh muffinz. I have watched many of your post and I truely feel for you. You have been wronged in your life. You have been wronged by your absent father, you have been wronged by the public school system, you have been wronged by society as a whole. I am truely sorry. Because of all these nefarious happenstance of your life you have missed what truely is beautiful, lovely, admirable, and most of all you have missed love. 

To have a child is the farthest thing from a burden you can possibly get. I have 3 kids. My joy is in seeing their smiling faces. Hearing shouts of "daddys home" when I get home from work brings a smile to my inner most being. They do not take my money, I work so that I can provide for them not myself. I make food so that they can be nourished. (In times when they are gone I often do not eat) 

It id my duty as a father to protect them from the burdens and pains of this world. The same pains you have not been spared from that have made you so downcast. The world is full of dispare but in my house love, joy, and life spring eternal. 

Do I have a new car? (2001 still seems new to me) no. Can I afford to eat at restaurants? Maybe once every other week. Yet will I have and be able to give joy and love till my dieing breath? Yes. 

I wish you could have had a good father to see and know love as I have. 

There is a good father in heaven who does love and bring joy. He can help lay aside your bitterness of past hurt so that you can find love and joy in life. You need but ask. 

Spoiler

oh I don't know what to say but thank you. But I don't want anyone to really worry about me, no one should. I'm an idiot for ever saying anything and I'm trying to be more positive. I don't talk about this kind of stuff too much in real life because there's just a lack of anonymity which would make things uncomfortable. I was in public school up to 8th grade. When it was time for high school I transferred to a private school for mainly two reasons, better people and higher/harder education. 

Although I have only seen my father in pictures and in one of my first memories, my mother has always loved and cared for me. Iv been told he loves me but I never got to experience it. Iv been trying to find a contact method with him after many years and now I finally have the chance to call him, Im just scared to. What do I even call him? Dad? It just feels awkward to say dad. I think im supposed to call him by his first name but im not sure.

Spoiler

 

I do get really emotional and depressed a lot and I am taking meds for it. But it doesn't get rid of memories and some stupid choices I made like speaking at right time, or saying yes or no in the right situations - which I don't want to go in depth with.

I'm sorry I have ever said anything and I don't want others to feel bad. If you see anything I say, just ignore it and scroll passed it. Please don't feel sorry for me, it's not worth your time.

 

Edited April 2, 2020 by Muffinnz

[Sunlight Glisten 368]

2 hours ago, Muffinnz said:

  Reveal hidden contents

oh I don't know what to say but thank you. But I don't want anyone to really worry about me, no one should. I'm an idiot for ever saying anything and I'm trying to be more positive. I don't talk about this kind of stuff too much in real life because there's just a lack of anonymity which would make things uncomfortable. I was in public school up to 8th grade. When it was time for high school I transferred to a private school for mainly two reasons, better people and higher/harder education. 

Although I have only seen my father in pictures and in one of my first memories, my mother has always loved and cared for me. Iv been told he loves me but I never got to experience it. Iv been trying to find a contact method with him after many years and now I finally have the chance to call him, Im just scared to. What do I even call him? Dad? It just feels awkward to say dad. I think im supposed to call him by his first name but im not sure.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Spoiler

I was debating wether to put this part in the original post: why do fathers love their children if they are not the ones who gave painful birth to them? besides the fact that the child has the father's geans.

no one reading the question above should feel the need to answer that, its a stupid question.

I do get really emotional and depressed a lot and I am taking meds for it. But it doesn't get rid of memories and some stupid choices I made like speaking at right time, or saying yes or no in the right situations - which I don't want to go in depth with.

I'm sorry I have ever said anything and I don't want others to feel bad. If you see anything I say, just ignore it and scroll passed it. Please don't feel sorry for me, it's not worth your time.

 

Gosh darn it muffinnz you are worth it and you do matter! Quit your defeatist talk. You've had a rough lot yet you ARE an overcommer. 

[Dreambiscuit 9,691]

If one cares only about one’s self, their money and their downtime, children may be looked at as a pointless burden and expense. But that’s reducing something profoundly meaningful down to the level of a mere annoyance. It’s human nature (or once was) to look beyond the self and do for others, but all too often human life is looked on with less deference than the latest video game. Responsibility is not a dirty word, it’s a gift, and children are an honor and reward that will last a lifetime. Everything your child becomes is a result of your actions and guidance, and that’s an amazing feeling of accomplishment. It’s a life-affirming experience that broadens the horizons and teaches people to grow beyond themselves, which isn’t a reduction but a vast expansion on what we already are. To hold a child and realize, “This living, breathing human being is an extension of my own self, they trust me, love me unconditionally and depend on me completely” and to see all the possibilities of that is to know true love and true happiness no words can describe. Money, time and effort mean nothing compared to something like that. 

[Rainbow Cloud 17,976]

To create new life and continue their families and the species with another generation.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Hormones, ignorance, magnetism, pre-life arrangements? I don't know. Earth seems quite unstable an environment for procreation. Not because of the planet itself. So much trauma in the collective subconscious of humanity, not to mention the collective karma. But third-dimensional consciousness can rarely realize the full extent of the law of cause and effect, much less with global amnesia in effect.

Reason why events happen, because they must. There is always another chance to learn the lessons.

[Steve Piranha 29,424]

I dunno. Having children seems more like a hassle in today’s world. I think it’s mainly due to remaining animal instincts to procreate, which is translated to ego. If I wanted someone to love and be loved back, I’d rather get a pet 

[Splashee 28,564]

Most of you will probably have kinds one day. It's just how nature works. If everyone was against having kids, our species wouldn't survive. *Puts on helmet to protect myself from a debate*