The Corrupted Wish Game

[Duality 10,739]

2 minutes ago, Widdershins said:

I wish for a... Non-moldy cream cheese tree!

9 minutes ago, Duality said:

Granted, but it's all mouldy.

I have successfully found a loophole.

I wish for everyone to use British English.

[Telferi 6,906]

But only in Britain >:3

 

I wish there were more hungarians on here!

[Yamato 1,348]

Granted, but the only phrase they know is "My hovercraft is full of eels".
I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[Will Guide 21,360]

10 hours ago, Yamato said:

Granted, but the only phrase they know is "My hovercraft is full of eels".
I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Oh, you mean like the song sung in Demolition Man? Granted, but you'll soon be eaten

I wish I had the muscles to actually do heavy lifting in the job offers I'm getting.

[ImDaMisterL 532]

Granted, but they don't give you the job because you look monstrous.

I wish for lasagna.

[Telferi 6,906]

Granted, but then it disappears.

I wish i was older by 1 year

[Deleted3133333 3,560]

Wish granted. We skip the entire year of 2017 and go straight to 2018.

Multiple countries miss their elections, and we enter a stage of political chaos.

 

I wish my parents would let me watch MLP.

[IronM17 5,347]

Granted, your parents lets watch you MLP, but only G3.5.

I wish I would be better in mathematics. 

[Widdershins 9,959]

   Granted! ...but higher mathematics has no real world applications past calculating tips, and even then, only in a select few restaurants.

  Hah! Burn! Feel my sarcastic wit, Mathematicians!

 

  Wish my computor would stop doing that weird flicker of some green window on screen whenever I'm doing something else...

 

8 hours ago, ShadowDash13 said:

I wish my parents would let me watch MLP.

   You know, never gotten that. Why anybody would be against My Little Pony. "made for kids" sure, know what else is made for kids? Candy. Think people are gonna stop making or eating candy or fiddling with it to give more adult tastes to it too? Sure, I may look like a dork suckin' on a rainbow Lolly the size o' me head... but it's candy!

   So. Here's what you do, ShadDash. Start watching Breaking Bad. Or show your parents the episode where the desperate cancer patient that's gone into making drugs is forced to murder some criminal and, to cover his tracks, has to dissolve the body in lye. Then ask them which would be a better option for you. Just as a purely rhetorical question. Hey, they both have a huge fanbase! Several million fans can't all be wrong!

   Heck, not even that. Think the News is healthy? Least MLP is friendly & caring.

[Duality 10,739]

5 hours ago, Widdershins said:

   Granted! ...but higher mathematics has no real world applications past calculating tips, and even then, only in a select few restaurants.

  Hah! Burn! Feel my sarcastic wit, Mathematicians!

 

  Wish my computor would stop doing that weird flicker of some green window on screen whenever I'm doing something else...

Denied just for that maths jab. And also because, ironically, computer science is a textbook example of real-world application of higher-order mathematics.

I wish for more people to follow me because forever alone.

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

Granted, you get more followers now, but in reality, it's just one guy making dozens of different accounts and using them to follow you in any form of social media...

I wish to become a taco.

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but I get to eat you.

I wish for a quesadilla.

[Le Trotteur Sauvage 13,051]

Here you go it in my fridge for 3 month now !
I wish people could see my post....

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but it contains spices that you're allergic to.

I wish I could cook more than just pasta!

[Pinkie_Pi 348]

You can cook anything you want, but everything tastes like Durian fruit.

I wish for a piano.

[Lunarpalette 2,175]

Granted, but you have to tune it yourself and it is in need of new keys. 

I wish I could be... SHINY!

[DubWolf 17,247]

Granted but you blind yourself D:

I wish not to be shiny

[DixonTheAdversary 1,632]

Granted, but you are so dull, you look like a terribly made 3-d model.

I wish to be able to watch my daytime television in peace.

[The Derpinator 36]

Granted, but you are the only person alive

i wish for UNLIMITED POWAH

Edited June 10, 2017 by The Derpinator

[Lunarpalette 2,175]

Granted but you over power yourself and meet your demise. 

I wish that I could only listen to Tamatoa's Shiny right now.

[Castle_Cross 331]

Granted, but that person will be tortured and you will only hear their pain

I wish i was able to stop death

[DixonTheAdversary 1,632]

Granted, but you can only save yourself from death, not anyone else.

I wish for another piece of paper.

 

[Pinkie_Pi 348]

You get your paper, but it is completely colored in with oil pastels.

I wish for a tissue.

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but it's an origami tissue that you can't bring yourself to use.

I wish for moar plushiez.

[xanman12345678 6]

Granted, but they're evil and alive.

I wish somepony corrupted this wish, but didn't corrupt this wish, and corrupted a wish that was corrupted in the granted corruption of fifty wishes made by corrupted ponies with wishes that granted corruption.

Edited June 10, 2017 by xanman12345678