When you're feeling down, how would you want your friends to be while they help?

[Notomi 66]

 

I dunno how to word the question, so am sorry for any misunderstandings! ;-;""

 

 

So I just thought about this question because I was feeling very sad a couple hours ago and one of my friends was comforting me, but accidentally used a smiley face while chatting. He said he didn't mean to type that, but it made me smile, even though I was feeling down. 

 

Usually people are very serious and concerned while they help me feel better, and I'm usually sad and understanding and try my best to help them when they're down. But would it help if there was someone who was positive while you're sad and using smiley faces while helping you feel better? I dunno. Am just really curious what everyone thinks now. ;u;

 

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Also, I dunno if I posted this in the wrong place or anything, or if I messed anything up. So am very sorry in advance! ;u;

Edited June 1, 2015 by Notomi

[Ricebug 556]

Well when I personally help my friends I am upbeat and silly and try to get them to smile, like the smiley face did for you. And some others hate that so I act serious or even sad serious. It really depends who you are talking to and the situation.

 

But when I am sad personally you may act, however, you may not act sad and understanding to me. I hate to see my friends get sad and usually that is because of how I am feeling which makes me feel even more bad because I caused it XD. But I will call it quits at a point with the helping I am kind of weird with being helped x3.

 

Honestly I think the smiley face positive helping would be the best choice because well your trying to cheer people up right? So get all positive and try to cheer them up ! And of course still help them with the problem in the process :3.

[LittleMac 3,085]

Depends. Using a smiley while comforting someone can show that you're trying to be friendly but on the other hand, using it at the wrong time can make them feel you aren't taking them seriously. I know a lot of people who try telling jokes while comforting someone but that is NOT what you should do. They need a smile not a laugh.

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

Depends. Using a smiley while comforting someone can show that you're trying to be friendly but on the other hand, using it at the wrong time can make them feel you aren't taking them seriously. I know a lot of people who try telling jokes while comforting someone but that is NOT what you should do. They need a smile not a laugh.

 

Dunno about that one, I'm hard to make laugh when I'm feeling down but if something is funny enough to make me laugh I feel a lot better afterwards.

 

 As for what I want my friends to do...Really anything will do. Just listening and giving a comforting word, being upbeat and trying to make me laugh, or just about anything really. I just want to know someone actually cares what I have to say. The only rule I've really got is if I say the topic is over, I want it over. Because by that point I'm either feeling better and don't want reminders, or I'm feeling worse and am just sick of the conversation.

[LittleMac 3,085]

Dunno about that one, I'm hard to make laugh when I'm feeling down but if something is funny enough to make me laugh I feel a lot better afterwards

 

 

I guess it all depends on the person. I only meant that the people I know who take that approach do it more carelessly rather than doing it to cheer someone up

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

I guess it all depends on the person. I only meant that the people I know who take that approach do it more carelessly rather than doing it to cheer someone up

 

Yeah, it depends on the person. Just need to be careful about when and how you say certain things.

 

 I like a joke when I'm feeling down, but if it feels like I'm being made fun of then it's certainly not helpful.

[Frostgage 7,981]

I think it depends on the situation. I'm fine with anything, though. What really matters to me and makes me feel better is that they made an effort to cheer me up

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 42,202]

If I am feeling down, which to be honest happens all the time, the most I could ask for is for someone to listen to what I have to say and that is it really. I really cannot ask for more than that. 

[Guest]

I'd just want to have someone to talk to and it wouldn't matter about what really. Just spending time with another person and talking with them is nice enough in itself to me. They would not have to do anything at all. I would just enjoy their company at the most of it .

[Misty Rose 3,216]

Really I would just want a hug So compassionate would also be something I want that friend to be when I'm down, and caring and understanding and still semi cheerful to try to lift my spirits *sigh* If only I had such a friend -_-

[catnet 9,359]

Honestly, I wouldn't mind if they didn't help; perhaps that's too accepting of me, but, I just feel I can understand them having valid reasons for not helping, even though I beat myself up if I fail to help someone. =/ When my friends are helping me, I'd like them to be happy and positive... their happiness is often very contagious, and I don't feel so much that I'm doing something wrong or upsetting them. And it feels more reassuring to me to see smilies and other cute emotes, rather than just a wall of text.

[Odyssey 5,719]

I prefer it if my friends were serious while helping me feel better. As somebody who doesn't leave things behind until they're finished, I always feel much better when people have serious discussions, as they're more honest and give me the time to think about how I should fix things easier. But not too serious. At other times I just want the company and the happiness of somebody instead when I'm feeling down.

[Invincible 2,092]

Every person is unique and different. It wouldn't be fair to expect them to act out of their element in any situation. Besides, everyone can help in their own way.

 

Sometimes the help you need isn't the same as the help you want. A real friend knows that and should try to help you their way.

[EpicEnergy 23,245]

I feel better when my friends listen and understand when I'm down. Just having someone to talk to makes me feel better.

[Splashee 28,596]

I'd never ask anyone for help. I should be strong enough to deal with anything, at least here on the forum.

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,504]

I’m just grateful to have friends who are willing to help me. I’m not choosy.

[Splashee 28,596]

3 hours ago, Stone Cold Steve Jobs said:

I’m just grateful to have friends who are willing to help me. I’m not choosy.

Same

[Clawdeen 20,721]

My friend has called me just about every night while I’m at work. It’s nice to have someone to talk to while the rest of the world is against you.

[Dreambiscuit 11,198]

I usually just want a sympathetic ear until I’m feeling better and can handle things better on my own. If I need a good laugh I’m happy to have someone tell me a joke. If I have a real problem I want someone to give me a straight, unvarnished opinion and advice.

[J.J 930]

Mixture of happy/serious, Its not blind toxic optimism and it isn't tough love either it's, "here are the reasons to look up" "here's what IS within your power to change" and I always look for the positives while spoiling the negatives to lighten the blow, call it more or less "being real" sometimes think"being real" is just an excuse to be a dick, but nah to an actual "friend" that has your sympathy, you can find genuine reasons for them to be happy, not just bc you want them to be bc your "oh so nice" but bc you really KNOW THEM, and you know the things that make them an amazing person and you know the things holding them back, you can more than visualize these things from the way the describe their problems, you've known them so long you might have an inkling as to why they are having them in the first place. Yeah obviously simply being nice doesn't fix the problem and you got to actually get some constructive insights on what you can do to fix these problems, ya a real friend doesn't put you down, but a real friend is one that listens in general, hell even if all you are getting is tough love, feel lucky to have a friend that cares enough to give you any insight to indulge your problems or insecurities... Friendship is a great thing, but blind cheerleading isn't friendship and neither is being a tool to boost someone else's ego,  find someone that has more than tough advice for you but someone that has good advice for you that genuinely wants to see you take it and succeed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DesuPony 41]

My friends don't even know I'm a depressed mess. Even then I don't want them coming over.

[TBD 17,272]

I’d like a friend who is approachable for me to come and share them all my troubles and struggles. Someone who will listen to me. They don’t need to give me advice or try to make me feel better. Having them be the ears to my troubles is good enough for me. I tend to hesitate to be open to many people because I don’t want burden them with my struggles. I have been bottled things up for far too long that it’s heavy for me to carry. And if I were to open up, I might drown them with it, thus it will make them avoid me. Since it may be too much for them handle. I don’t blame them.
 

That’s why I always hesitate to open up around people. I need a friend who’s loyal enough to go through my ups and downs with me since I have done that with many people I’ve met. But unfortunately, not many ever come to do the same for me. It always feel one-sided. I’m not a counselor nor am I looking for one. 
 

Overall, I would like a friend who is willing to help me carry my burden with me throughout our time together until we have to say good bye. I’m not looking for a one time deal. My feelings and my struggles are all bottled up and it takes a lot of trust for me to hand them that bottle. I just don’t give it willy nilly to anyone. 

[They call me Loyalty 1,953]

I want them to be themselves. Also, I am not the kind of person that is bothering when I feel bad. It is them who are usually helping me, even when I don't ask for help. I think some of them have made me and my family into their charity project. And to be honest, I have to remind them to focus on their own lives and families instead. Because they do not seem to realize the kind of person I am beyond this fragile appearance. I am the kind of person that will choose to run away, almost always. Not the kind of individual that will be there when they need help, because I can barely help myself to begin with. So, I want them to be themselves and find a measure of well being and personal fulfilment in this life. I always told them I am just here for the cookies.

[Guest]

Mmmmm I would want them to be supportive of whatever I’m going through and I’ll try to be supportive for them when they are going through something.

I would want them to be themselves as different people have different coping mechanisms as well. 

[GodlyWolf Gusty 2,161]

I've been raised with the whole don't sugar coat it mentality. That and I find that not sugar coating it gets to the root of the problem much faster and that's when and where you can address it and fix it 

Edited September 1, 2023 by GodlyWolf82