Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Fluttershy: "Buck a duck...what did I do last night" she groaned holding her head

 

Discord: "Drank a whole bar, destroyed seventeen petting zoo's traumatized eight dragons and a hydra, had your way with Queen Chrysalis, ordered me to film you as you had your way with said Changeling Queen, Proclaimed yourself the "Lizard Queen", Made one Vinyl Scratch somehow speak, Slipped Pinkie Pie a bunch of coffee, and made it so one prince Blue Blood could now be called Princess Blue Bell" Discord replied

 

Fluttershy: .....buck......"

Edited March 5, 2017 by Twilight-Shimmer

[The MegaBrony 218]

Lyra: Human. It was nice knowing you. Goodbye. *smashes the Mercy button with a gauntlet*

[HereComesTom 2,239]

Shining Armor and Princess Cadence:  I wish we hadn't named our filly "Flurry Heart"...we should've named her "Mystery Meat".

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Rarity: "I will have a large plate of bacon please"

Twilight: "I will have a Hamburger please!

Applejack: "I'll have a steak please"

Pinkie Pie: "I will have a Pork Chop please"

Rainbow Dash: "I will have Deer Jerky please"

Fluttershy: "I will have the Pony Burger please"

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Velvet: Isn't Flurry Heart cute? Yes, she is. Goo. Goo.

Flurry Heart: *Sneezes a magical blast.*

Twilight Velvet: *Slumps to the ground.*

Everyone else: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *Panic*

 

Princess Celestia: We must keep a watchful eye on Flurry Heart as she grows up. She has the bloodline of Twilight Sparkle's family and an Alicorn Princess. If she were to succumb to the dark path of a teenager, it will be a....princess nightmare.

Princess Luna: Ha. Ha. Funny. Keep rubbing it in my face.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna punishing herself, the length of time it took to make amends with Gilda, and having to repair our friendships every single dang time. We've been half assing our friendship work for the past year.

Pinkie Pie: Isn't that a bit offensive?

Twilight Sparkle: Says the pony that screwed up with a certain named donkey and had to get someone else to fix her mess.

Pinkie Pie: Taken. I rescind my comment.

Edited March 6, 2017 by Singe

[Singe 2,109]

Fluttershy: I'm so sorry. She just pushed me and....Rainbow Dash. *Cries*

Rarity: What do we do?  What do we do?

Applejack: I...I I can't go to prison.

Pinkie Pie: I know. Spike, eat the body.

Spike: What?

Twilight Sparkle: *Slaps Pinkie Pie* What are you thinking? Spike can't do that. Dear Princess Celestia....plop Rainbow Dash's body right in front of her. There is only one way to do it.

Discord: Did some pony call for a clean up.....yeesh that mess is going to take hours.

[Lil Pip 775]

I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I am all out of bubblegum.

 

Get to the choppa!

 

Asta la vista, baby.

 

Yippee kai aye mother f****r

 

Eat my shorts

 

What if I gave you a scooby snack?

 

Cowabunga!

 

Thats all folks!

 

May the force be with you.

 

Oh My Celestia

 

How much can a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck can chuck wood?

[cmarston1 5,952]

EQG Twilight Velvet: And we shall name our beautiful baby girl Twilight Sparkle. Nurse: Are you sure that's a good idea, that sounds like a stripper name. Twilight Velvet: What's the worst that could happen?

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

EQG Twilight Velvet: And we shall name our beautiful baby girl Twilight Sparkle. Nurse: Are you sure that's a good idea, that sounds like a stripper name. Twilight Velvet: What's the worst that could happen?

Discord popped in and replies: "Your daughter from a parallel universe could come to this universe,  chasing after another girl by the name of Sunset Shimmer  also from the parallel universe because she returned to the other universe and stole Twilight's crown. the Two Twilight's the one from the parallel world could meet the one from this world, and go onto form something called Apeture Science... either that or the world could explode, which ever comes first"

[Singe 2,109]

Trenderhoof: Hello. I'm Trenderhoof and I find you very.....

Applejack: I voted for him.

Trenderhoof: Replusive, and wish for the worst of your farm and family. *Walks away.*

Rarity: *Blink* What just happen?

Edited March 8, 2017 by Singe

[Singe 2,109]

Princess Celestia: Luna, I would like you to meet my nephew Prince BlueBlood.

Prince BlueBlood: Charmed.

Pincess Luna: You're kidding. I see you picked up another stray off the street. We can't have nephews since I'm your only sister. *Laughs and walks away.*

Prince BlueBlood: Momsy, what does auntie mean by stray?

Princess Celestia: *Angry.* I told you to never call me mom, only aunt. I never had children.

Prince BlueBlood: I'm sorry, auntie.

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Spike could you hand me that book.

Spike: What? It's just a few feet away from you.

Twilight Sparkle: But it's too far.

Spike: You can do it.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine.*Uses magic to get the book.* I'm docking your pay for this.

Spike: *Sigh.*

 

Rainbow Dash: *Crashes.*

Twilight Sparkle: What happen to your face?!

Rainbow Dash: What do you mean? *Smile.*

Twilight Sparkle: You're missing teeth.

Rainbow Dash: Those are fake. I busted all my real teeth years ago.

Twilight Sparkle: There is a giant swollen lump on your face.

Rainbow Dash: That's always been there, my mane typically hides it.

Twilight Spakle: Sweet Celestia, one of your eyes just rolled back into your head.

Rainbow Dash: So that's why I went blind just now.

 

Fluttershy: Where's Angel?

Discord: I let him experience the joy of being a pinata in Mexico. The kids will have a busting good time.

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

(During the Tirek attack)

 

Celestia: "Twilight I have great news!"

Twilight: "You found a way to defeat Tirek?"

Celestia: "Oh no, it's not that at all"

Twilight: Then what's the news?"

Celestia: "I just saved hundreds of bits by switching to Geico"

Twilight: "........."

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: So how is Flash doing?

Sunset Shimmer: He got a custom Oppai mouse-pad of you on it.

Pinkie Pie: He's all like kiss kiss, poke poke, pinch pinch, face bury, and other things.

Twilight Sparkle: That sounds....nice.

Rarity: It's God dang creepy.

 

*Trenderhoof watches Applejack eating an apple.*

Rarity: What are you looking at? Applejack eating an apple, I can do that too. *Eats apple.* Nom. Nom. Nom.

Trenderhoof: *Watches Applejack.*

Rarity: I can also put other things in my mouth. The Grass, my hoof, that tree, the dirt, Applejack's nasty mouth.,,

Trenderhoof & Applejack: What?

Rarity: Nothing.

[Singe 2,109]

Rarity: Twilight you just can't let every boy hug you, it's not normal.

Twilight Sparkle: Why? There is nothing wrong with new people wanting to be friends and hugging.

Applejack: Except it's because those boys are prevs and you're an easy mark.

Twilight Sparkle: What's a prev?

Applejack: How do I put it....It's someone that wants to get close and see you naked.

Twilight Sparkle: I still don't get it, everyone is usually naked from where I come from.

Rarity: Oh my God, she sounds like she just came from a nudist colony.

Twilight Sparkle: What's a nudist colony?

Applejack: Oh my God, we're going to be here all day.

[HereComesTom 2,239]

Celestia:  I want to arrest that pony, but he's not broken any laws...time to bring out the 600-year-old public nudity laws!

[Ganondorf8 11,123]

Princess Celestia: I... am Unicron!

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, can you tell me what happen on that boat?

Pinkie Pie: Sure. There we were it was a storm and our ship crashed. I was the only one alone at sea until I was rescued by the Straw Hat Pirates. Their Captain was Luffy. He said, "You're a cool pink pony and I want you to join my crew." So I did. We went on a lot of adventures. Sanji and I was able to cook. He would say, "I love you, Pinkie". Then there was Nami and Robin. Usopp the liar. A deer. A crazy sword man. Walking talking bones. Sanji and bones would try to spy on the girls. I said you could spy on me, and they were like nah you give the game away.

Twilight Sparkle: What happen after that?

Pinkie Pie: I don't know, it never finished.

 

Twilight Sparkle: The kingdom suffered terrible damage, how can we fix it?

Princess Celestia: Legend speaks of collecting seven Dragonballs which can be used to summon a powerful wish granting dragon.

Twilight Sparkle: Got it. I know where to look first. Oh, Spike! Spike! *Trots away.*

 

Spike: Do you not love me anymore since you have Owlicious?

Twilight Sparkle I only have Owlicious because I wanted to try a cooked owl. 

Spike: Oh, that's a relief.

Twilight Sparkle: Glad, you understand. *Slams Spike's face into his food bowl.* Now clean up this mess and fix me some owl!

 

Spike: So Twilight since you have a castle....maybe I can get my own room?

Twilight Sparkle: You're still sleeping outside .

Edited March 16, 2017 by Singe

[Malcontent 196]

"Clearly, Friendship can't solve this." 

[Nightshroud 331]

Princess Luna: smoke weed everyday

 

Princes Cadence to Shining Armor: I'm seeing somepony else.

 

Twilight: I'm reading manga

[Ganondorf8 11,123]

Twilight: I finally graduated... after forty years.

[cmarston1 5,952]

Luna: I handled the gift for Cadence and Shining Armor, you were supposed to do this one remember?

Celestia: Well at least I am not the one who went last second gift shopping during the middle of an invasion.

[Ganondorf8 11,123]

Princess Celestia: Do as I command and we will defeat the Autobots once and for all!

Princess Luna: Wrong series.

[Nightshroud 331]

Luna: you dare bring sun light into my liar YOU MUST DIE!!! *shoots magic beam*

 

Applejack: I hate apples

 

Twilight: Spike your useless to me

 

Trixie: I am the weak and pitiful trixie.

 

Fluttershy: I hate animals all of them fuck you discord.

 

Dashie: scootaloo stop obsessing over me!!

[Singe 2,109]

Principal Celestia: And the winner is....Twilight Sparkle.

Sunset Shimmer: How? I threw several grand on these. *Stares at her chest.*

 

Flash Sentry: Hi, I see you're the new girl here in school. I am Flash Sentry, designated inspector of this school. Now let us step into my office.

Girl: That's the janitor's closet.

Flash Sentry: You must be one of those straight A students.

Girl: Well I'm actually.....

Luna: *Grabs Flash Sentry by the ear.* I see you're still up to your old tricks.

Flash Sentry: Ow. Ow. Ow. I didn't do anything this time.

Luna: That's not what the load of complaints I got from a number of female students.

Flash Sentry: I've been a model student. Just ask Twilight's friends.

Luna: Half those complaints are from them.