If your dad died, what things make you happier about this?

[FirePuppy 735]

My father’s about to pass away as far as I’m concerned and he most certainly will be unable to make it to my next birthday. But I also should admit, I haven’t seen him at all much for about a year, and most of his own advice to me were all total failures compared to my instincts.

What about you guys? How would you feel if your dads died depending on what they’ve done to you late in your lives?

Edited October 31, 2017 by FirePuppy

[Jeric 46,861]

I'll speak to this at length later as I have a lot of experience when it comes to death, and my own father passed away when I was 18, and it's one of those seminal moments in my life. 

Everyone goes through things differently, depending on their experience before and after the passing.

Also, even though I am sorry you are going through this, from my experience ... no words help blunt the emotional impact that comes after someone dies. 

[Luminance 2,186]

I always remember the memories that my father and I had made and share throughout my life. Through it all, it's all I have left when I felt and experience the lost of my dad. I can never go back in time and I end up regretting those moments when I should've spend more time when he was alive. 

[Jade Fire 7,059]

this may sound horrible, but i'm pretty sure the world would be a better place if my dad died.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,356]

I can relate to this too. My own father passed away when I was 13.

What helped me? I tried to do things that would make my dad proud of me . And of course I'm thankful for all the great times we had together.

I'm sorry to hear that for those of you who haven't had such great relationships with your fathers... But like Jeric said, everyone goes through it in their own way, so you're allowed to feel however you need to~

Edited November 1, 2017 by SparklingSwirls

[Guest]

I can't speak to personal experience having never met the man, but it doesn't take a huge reach in imagination to know that regardless of person, if they're not totally estranged with their parents it will have an impact. Even if your father gave you bad advice, the fact that you two are even talking is more than a lot of other folks have in a relationship with their parents, so I can only imagine it will hurt very deeply. The best thing you can do to help dull the pain is to keep all of the good memories you shared with him in mind instead of the bad advice or the negative things about him. I'm sure if your roles were reversed, he would do the same for you and he wouldn't really have a choice in it either.

For what it's worth, I am sorry to know your father's days will end sooner rather than later. 

 

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,802]

I will be honest and say that, if/when my dad dies, it will most likely break me. I don't deal with death very well and besides my beloved dog last year, I haven't had to deal with the death of someone in my family that was very close to me. If it was my dad, I don't know what I would do. I fear every day that something could happen, because he just doesn't care about his own health anymore. My willpower in life is already waivering, if this happened, it would be gone.

I know this is something everyone has to face eventually, but I am not strong like many people are. Mentally, I am very weak.

[Dreambiscuit 10,171]

Anything my dad or anyone else in my family have done, or failed to do, in my life would be irrelevant. They are family, therefore HONOR THEM! No one is, or ever has been, perfect and to judge a person based on their accomplishments and contributions is inappropriate. I wouldn't care if I never had anything but bad advice my whole life, I'd still love my dad. It's not about what we get out of these people in our lives, and to think so would be mercenary and cold. These are human beings, and more importantly our family. They take care of us the best they can, usually learning as they go. Everyone makes mistakes; there are no universities for making a perfect parent. What matters is the love they have for us and the love we have for them. Some people show love in different ways but it doesn't mean they don't feel it. No one is perfect, ourselves included, so it would not be right to judge someone, especially if we don't know them well enough to have all the facts.  

[DubWolf 17,382]

I'm not sure I understand your question; as in, is there a bright side that they passed away? (I don't think that's what you mean...)

My relationship with him doesn't always feel very great, or with many people (him with others), and I blame him for a lot of things, but I'm not one to hold grudges and I forgive people....

Even if it wouldn't really sadden me very much (actually I'm pretty sure I would definitely be saddened by it anyways knowing the gravity of the situation), I'd still feel pretty bad for those who were much closer to them....

[ShadOBabe 19,013]

1 hour ago, Screambiscuit said:

It's not about what we get out of these people in our lives, and to think so would be mercenary and cold.

You don’t seem to consider that a lot of people have parents that are straight up emotionally or physically abusive. Or just plain neglectful. You can be civil with a crappy parent, but if they actively make your life worse, you need to get away from them.

[Dreambiscuit 10,171]

In the case of outright abuse, it takes on a different complexion. People can be weak and make horrible mistakes. Even still I might not be as emotionally scarred at their passing, but I wouldn't celebrate it either. As far as neglect, parents don't always realize it if they're being neglectful, and again, people make mistakes. If there's a parent that makes a concerted effort to bring misery, that's not a parent in the usual sense, and would seem more like a stranger that should be avoided.

[ShadOBabe 19,013]

2 minutes ago, Screambiscuit said:

In the case of outright abuse, it takes on a different complexion. People can be weak and make horrible mistakes. Even still I might not be as emotionally scarred at their passing, but I wouldn't celebrate it either. As far as neglect, parents don't always realize it if they're being neglectful, and again, people make mistakes. If there's a parent that makes a concerted effort to bring misery, that's not a parent in the usual sense, and would seem more like a stranger that should be avoided.

Oh, of course. I don’t think I could ever dislike someone enough to feel the need to dance on their grave or anything like that. I just felt that your original comment kind of ignored some serious circumstances that lots of people have to deal with. And “everyone makes mistakes” doesn’t help heal most people’s emotional damage.

[Dreambiscuit 10,171]

Just now, ShadOBabe said:

Oh, of course. I don’t think I could ever dislike someone enough to feel the need to dance on their grave or anything like that. I just felt that your original comment kind of ignored some serious circumstances that lots of people have to deal with. And “everyone makes mistakes” doesn’t help heal most people’s emotional damage.

You're right and I completely agree. Some people are truly victimized and I don't mean to overlook or gloss over any of that. My apologies if it came off that way! 

[Prospekt 11,021]

My father is still alive and well. But my grandmother who died when I was 13 was like a second mother to me. That's how close we were. Her death and the being abandoned by my best friend were catalysts for the worst years of my life.

I fear that if my dad were to suddenly die, I would fall into depression all over again. I don't deal with these deaths well. I'm not strong enough. That's why I'm trying to make the best of our time together while I still can. Even though our relationship hasn't been perfect either.

[Steve Piranha 29,442]

Well, since my parents mostly held back my own growth and development, I'm actually happier since there are two obstacles less in my way. But at first..... good thing I got no powers, or I'd be going One Earth Regime bad

[Techno Universal 2,575]

Well my parents are very healthy and well and they are both extremely conscious about their health so they won't die anytime soon or ad least not for another 30-40 years. However my mom's father died back in 1985 from total lung failure that was in result to his excessive smoking. So I basically lost one of my grandparents before I was even born and to be honest if my parents died now I would just be completely lost in life and I would likely end up becoming like a lost soul. Now that's if both of my parents died now at the same time but if one of them died it would likely be something that I would never recover from mentally.

[FirePuppy 735]

...

Edited November 17, 2017 by FirePuppy

[FirePuppy 735]

Well, it's official, my father has been pronounced dead as of last night at his mid 50's. It was in a hospital not in this country.

My mother told me about this today.

Edited November 17, 2017 by FirePuppy

[Lucky Bolt 35,085]

Uh...nothing about that would make me happy.

Edited January 27, 2020 by Lucky Bolt

[Splashee 28,566]

Death doesn't make me happy, no matter who it is.

 

I am not close to my dad for reasons too complex to bring up here.

[EpicEnergy 23,224]

I would not be happy if my dad died, me and him and close and it would make me very sad if he were to die.

[Miss 6,234]

My dad is no longer a part of my family.

i hated him growing up and my whole family wanted him out. 

If he dad I wouldn’t be sad, but there would be this feeling in my head like “wow one of my parents is dead and I don’t care. And that sucks because some people have great relationships with both of their parents”

However, I would feel sad for my sister who still has a relationship with him. Don’t like seeing my siblings sad 

[Muffinnz 3,222]

I think it would be alot healthier if my dad was dead

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,605]

What a tone deaf thing of you to assume. My father committed suicide by hanging last year; while we never got along at times, he suffered from personal demons, and was looking to improve himself and his relations with me and my brother. To add insult to injury, my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor not long afterwards (which she has recovered from far faster than was expected, thankfully).

So, no. My biggest regret was not getting to fix my relationship with my dad, especially in his time of need. And I am far from happy as a result. Thank you, FirePuppy, for bringing back painful emotions I didn't want to deal with anymore.  

Edited January 27, 2020 by Renegade the Unicorn

[The Historian 516]

Nothing. I would be absolutely beside myself with grief. While my dad and I don't see eye to eye on things all the time and he's had a very hard time dealing with me being transgender, he's still my dad and he's still been one of the biggest influences in my entire life. I would not be the nerdy, IT girl I am today without him and I sure as hell wouldn't be a bowler without him either. He taught me the value of working hard and the value of being a perfectionist, detriments included. For better or worse, my dad has played a huge part in my interests and it will be terrible when he passes.