Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Quinch 1,123]

I've lost count of the number of arguments I've had about putting external load on the server room UPS, and despite my pleas, threats, and the odd ritual killing, it still happens.

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"Location," he read from a paper in his hand, "hut in wood. Enter fairies with Fairy Queen. Dance."

"Enter Father Christmas," went on the shirt-sleeve man.
"What I can't think," said Father Christmas, fastening on his beard, "is what a Father Christmas's doing in a play about Goldilocks and The Three Bears."
"Nor a giant", said the giant sadly.
"It's for a Christmas show", said the shirt-sleeve man. "You gotter have a Father Christmas in a Christmas show, or else how'd people know it's a Christmas show? And you gotter have a giant in a fairy tale, whether there is one in it or not."

"He's put his tongue out at me!" Goldilocks screamed with shrill indignation.
At this the big bear, whose adoration of Goldilocks was very obvious, closed with William (the middle bear), and Goldilocks' mother screamed shrilly.
The giant separated the two bears and Goldilocks came to the hut with an expression of patient suffering meant to represent intense physical weariness...

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

"Hail, Notafuc, King of Cakewalk!"

[ExplosionMare 21,018]

He died of anchovies 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"You know this is probably the fourth rule of the Internet: don't operate a lathe, and let people see you doing it. I'm certain there's a hundred million different ways to do this, but this just so happens to be my way ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

 "I challenge you to a...challenge!

 Fk I said challenge twice." 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"And to show how dangerous this is, we are going to add stunt watermelon. But don't worry, he has the safety glasses"

 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

Sorry nothing.

Edited July 23, 2024 by Ruddboy Olaf

[Ragland Tiger 3,483]

"Maybe ever’body in the whole damn world is scared of each other."
John Steinbeck

[Sunshinedaisy 0]

“I don’t think there’s any such thing as a trans woman. You’re either a woman or you’re not. You either have the real female reproductive parts that you were born with, or you are a man with malformed male reproductive parts.”

Edited May 2, 2022 by Courageous Thunder Dash
Cleaned up to make it sound less R-rated and more PG/PG-13

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"I am going to give an expert opinion and say, everything went to shit ..."

 

[ExplosionMare 21,018]

Okay, I’ve completed the ritual! Can I go back to delivering packages now?

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

"If that blade was anymore blunt, Snoop Dogg would try to smoke it." 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

Sorry nothing.

Edited July 23, 2024 by Ruddboy Olaf

[Totally Nyx 36,399]

"'Diet' is a negative word. It's so restrictive. That's why I'm going to wonder through the snack isles when I get off work."

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

"Her shooting stance is off balance, the gun's LOP is too long for her, Loona isn't resting a cheek on the gun, and her eyes aren't lined up with the sights...

So Loona must be ex-Air Force."

[Totally Nyx 36,399]

Woo! Let's get our gamble on!

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"Well, why should folks believe 'em? Why should folks b'lieve 'em when they say they're better than other shops? An' how can we stick up notices an' where an' who'll let us stick up notices? You don't talk sense. You're mad, that's wot you are. First you go about calling folks murderers when you don't know who they've murdered, nor nothin' about it, an' then you talk about sticking up notices when there isn't anyone who'd let us stick up any notices, nor anyone who'd take any notice of notices wot we stuck up ..."

"If you'd jus' stop talkin', an' deafening' us all for jus' a bit, you've been talkin' an' deafening' us all ever since you came out. D'you think we never want to hear anythin' all our lives even till death, but you talkin' an' deafenin' us all? There is things that we'd like to hear 'sides you talkin' an' deafenin' us all. There's music an' birds singing an' – an' other folks talkin', but you go on so's anyone would think that all there is is you talkin' an' deafenin' us all ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

“Are you STRENUOUSLY aware of it?”

“Oh! I’m strenuously aware of it!”

[Ragland Tiger 3,483]

 “Oh, the jobs people work at! Out west near Hawtch-Hawtch there's a Hawtch-Hawtcher bee watcher, his job is to watch. Is to keep both his eyes on the lazy town bee, a bee that is watched will work harder you see. So he watched and he watched, but in spite of his watch that bee didn't work any harder not mawtch. So then somebody said "Our old bee-watching man just isn't bee watching as hard as he can, he ought to be watched by another Hawtch-Hawtcher! The thing that we need is a bee-watcher-watcher!". Well, the bee-watcher-watcher watched the bee-watcher. He didn't watch well so another Hawtch-Hawtcher had to come in as a watch-watcher-watcher! And now all the Hawtchers who live in Hawtch-Hawtch are watching on watch watcher watchering watch, watch watching the watcher who's watching that bee. You're not a Hawtch-Watcher you're lucky you see!”

― Dr. Seuss, Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

[Denim&Venöm 20,308]

"Inside you are two wolves. Would you like a third?" 

 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"It's not going to do it! It's because it knows that we're watching ..."

 

[DubWolf 18,376]

“Ooh hey you’ve got peanut butter  .” *it’s actually syrup  *
”Oh same thing, you put it on sandwiches  “

[Ragland Tiger 3,483]

“It is not your fault that the world is as it is. It would only be your fault if it stayed that way”.

[dead account 2,716]

"How do I know I can trust you?"
"Uhm...I play Counter Strike, that's enough, right?"