Denim&Venom

Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

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"There was no scenery, and no more than three actors on stage at any one time, and none of them could sing or dance."

(Real news item, about a scathing review of a Jack And The Beanstalk pantomime)

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" Verence was technically an absolute ruler and would continue to be so provided he didn't make the mistake of repeatedly asking [the people] to do anything they didn't want to do. He was [also] aware that the commander-in-chief of his armed forces was more inclined to take orders from his mum than the king ..."

 

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"Man, we really suck at this."

23 minutes ago, Tropical Melody said:

(Real news item, about a scathing review of a Jack And The Beanstalk pantomime)

Isn't not referencing the context behind the quote the whole point of this thread? :mlp_wink:

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"...he sprinted to the hospital, where he found a two-month old baby on the floor.  He then did what any sensible person does after finding a baby on the hospital floor, and punched it in the face.  He punched it in the face.  THE F***ER PUNCHED A BABY IN THE FACE."

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"Yep. They're still using mules to outfit a super dreadnought battleship." 

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"Nothing like deceased hellbound former leaders working together to make a building material out of corpses."

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On 1/11/2019 at 12:58 PM, Odyssey said:

Isn't not referencing the context behind the quote the whole point of this thread? :mlp_wink:

Indeed, but I wanted to be sure nobody thought I simply made it up. :D

 

Next:

"I can't see what's happening! Are we boned yet?"

 

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“I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.”

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"The definition of a fool is doing something over and over, expecting something different.

"The definition is that you doing dumb sh!t over and over, over and over, again."

 

Edited by Tropical Melody

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"Don't you put it in your mouth! Don't you put in your mouth!"

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(All said in the following order, with complete, dead silence between each word.)

 Nut!

 Nut.

 ...Nut?

 Nut.

...

 PUPPY!

 Yay!

...

 Sssssnoot.

...

Nut.

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"It only costs $32."

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"If you see a black plane, it's British. If you see a white plane, it's American. When you see nothing at all, it's the Luftwaffe." 

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Five more from YKW:

(1) "... and this question popped into my head - are you, and please say yes - are you related - and even if you're not please say yes - are you related to and please say yes because I need the attention from my friends - are you related to Deff Leppard?"

(2) "You look like garbage. What happened?"

(3) "And so, as I look out at your smiling faces filled with hope, all I can think is, you are completely screwed."

(4) "Great just what I need on my conscience, another failed business."

(5) "Peter! I'm dying! I'll never see you again!" - "Bye."

 

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Oh no! My Fragile, Male Psyche! ...Good thing my Female Psyche is more than equipped to deal with this.

 ...though my Pansexual Psyche has been freaking out about this long before it even happened. I'm just a colossal Drama Queen.

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"Ah dammit!"

"What happened?"

"I dropped my phone in the toilet." > splosh < "Ooh argh it's so cold and it's under everything! Ugh I feel like I'm rooting around in a pitcher of Sangria. Ugh! Where IS it! Oh my god why haven't I found it yet? Oh no I didn't roll my sleeve up far enough! Oh! Why didn't I flush when I got in here? Argh this isn't even all mine! Oh no there's a spider crawling on my face!! Arrgh!! Why didn't I use the hand that was on the floor? Why did I use my toilet hand?

"Oh wait here it is behind the toilet..."

 

Edited by Tropical Melody

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"How can a town with so many great colleges produce nothing but dopes?"

"We don't hike. We just wear tight pants and get coffee."

 

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"Oh cr4p! About two million years ago we were making tea weren't we? Must be stewed by now"

 

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"The fact that she actually had a plausible reason for the muzzle makes this even better."

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"Hi Rhonda, this is Clem Fandango. Can you just make a noise like someone punched you in the taint?"

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