Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"Like a really violent version of the spider-man kiss." 

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"This guy is so dense that all the shows art mistakes could be chalked up to the light bending around him."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Hey wake up! I had a bad dream so now your night has to be terrible!"

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"If there is an afterlife, I am going to spend all of eternity searching for, and then kicking, the designer of the BSA A10 pushrods hard in the plums."

(Google for: bsa a10 pushrod comb)

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Are you kicking my bucket, Igor?"

(Alternative to: are you yanking my chain)

 

[Odyssey 5,716]

"Meow"

"Yes?"

"Meow"

"Yes?"

"Meow"

"Yes?"

"Meow"

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

" Through the rain-swept woods, a man was moving at speed, while apparently lying down."

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"The universe is a random occurrence on the road to entropy"

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

" Car started when threatened with hammer."

( this is real)

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"Hey! Are you tired of ads? Then fully fund my patreon you cheap fks!" 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"[The] huge stones attracted their own folklore. If you left your unshod horse at one of them overnight, and placed a sixpence on the stone, in the morning the sixpence would be gone, and so would the horse..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"But I don't wanna cure cancer! I wanna turn people into dinosaurs!" 

[IsraelYabuki 441]

"You can do it, too... because after all, unlike me, you're not a failure."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

Three more from Family Guy...

[Peter] "What if I told you I'm holding in a very big dump?"

[Stewie] "And for Christmas I got a wrapped scrambled egg"

[Stewie] "I'm so glad I got to go into space before Derek Watson." - "Who's Derek Watson?" - "Nobody now!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"Well, *ahem*... if memory serves and Pinkemina's practical parishioning party planning punctual pastel pastor ponies are correct, which they usually are from what I've heard. You've got like, what, a little over a week left?"

[Widdershins 9,959]

Augh! I can feel the Coke in my EYES!!!

...And several days earlier:

 "Found a new way to snap the spines clean & still pull out the ribcage sections. Here, let me show you."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

And more FG ...

" You're not worthy to lick my designer shoes you fat lowlife slob!"

____________________ ...

"Hey can I talk to you for a second in this broom closet?" - "Sure, strange man!"
 

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"Welp, as all stories that involve Stalin go, our story begins with paranoia." 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"The[y] buried her tomb?"

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

 

 

"There was no scenery, and no more than three actors on stage at any one time, and none of them could sing or dance."

(Real news item, about a scathing review of a Jack And The Beanstalk pantomime)

_____________________________

" Verence was technically an absolute ruler and would continue to be so provided he didn't make the mistake of repeatedly asking [the people] to do anything they didn't want to do. He was [also] aware that the commander-in-chief of his armed forces was more inclined to take orders from his mum than the king ..."

 

[Odyssey 5,716]

"Man, we really suck at this."

23 minutes ago, Tropical Melody said:

(Real news item, about a scathing review of a Jack And The Beanstalk pantomime)

Isn't not referencing the context behind the quote the whole point of this thread? 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"...he sprinted to the hospital, where he found a two-month old baby on the floor.  He then did what any sensible person does after finding a baby on the hospital floor, and punched it in the face.  He punched it in the face.  THE F***ER PUNCHED A BABY IN THE FACE."

[Denim&Venöm 18,710]

"Yep. They're still using mules to outfit a super dreadnought battleship." 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"Nothing like deceased hellbound former leaders working together to make a building material out of corpses."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

On 1/11/2019 at 12:58 PM, Odyssey said:

Isn't not referencing the context behind the quote the whole point of this thread? 

Indeed, but I wanted to be sure nobody thought I simply made it up.

 

Next:

"I can't see what's happening! Are we boned yet?"