Dealing with Parasprites

[go away seb 367]

You've seen them before. You would just be minding your businesses in Gmod or TF2 or even on other forums when you're all like

 

 

But wait! Don't pull out that spray can! They just feed the silly parasprites. Not like Feldilian-Style Parasprites, with 100+ posts. I mean those little bitches that eat all of your crap and get stronger when you get angry. Useful ways to deal with these little things can be found below, for only 19,367,536,785 Bits!

 

Now, for an unlimited time, you will receive a FREE 100% discount. Just sign your soul over to my undying army of the undead!

 

 

Tip #1: "You're so cute when you think you know what you're saying!"

 

This one is really simple. Most trolls will use terms such as "fake and gay" or "get off the interns, u ass." To pull this one off, just pretend to be the English Teacher. Half-Assed Example below:

 

 

Paraspritt145: omg u ass, why u so gay? stop watch this stupid little girl show and get a live.

 

CounterAttacr: Silly Filly, if I was an ass, I wouldn't be able to type. And yes, I already did stop-watch the series. So far the series has went on for about 18 hours. And then if I didn't have a life, how would I be typing this right now? Besides, if i was dead, I wouldn't be able to simply get another life.

 

 

 

Tip #2: Rule 12 of the Internet: everything you say can and will be used against you.

 

This is a very real rule of the Internet. Trolls have some sort of strange mental function that lets them instantly take advantage of this rule. To pull this one off, use their previous statements to pull off a Counter-Troll. Example Below:

 

Painrztrull24: Lolz u cat paly this game with those shatty skeals.

 

BobbyJones: Cat paly... that will be my new signature! Thanks, troll!

 

Painrztrull24 has disconnected from server (Reason: Disconnect by User)

 

 

 

Tip #3: CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL (even with cruise control, you still have to steer)

 

I guarantee that all of you have experienced a Caps-Lock troll. They press the big button and start typing, to make it look like they're "yelling." To do this, simply turn on Caps-Lock yourself. This will make the troll harder to recognize if there are more than 1 of you (NOTE - This method is not very effective) Example below:

 

Randomguy1: Yeah so I derped when derp derped and derp derped derpso.

 

Randomguy2: Yeah, derp herp glerb.

 

Troll56: I LIKE PUDDING IN MAH MOTH

 

You: YES, BLAH BLAH POST

 

Other Dude: SHJFHLJHLHFHLEBK

 

Troll56: omg dude stop capsloking. it makes me look bad.

 

 

Tip #4: If all else fails, resort to Rule 20 of the Internet: Nothing is to be taken seriously

 

Just ignore trolls. This is the most effective way to deal with them, but also the most boring. Do I really need an example for this one?

 

 

There you have it! Now that you know how to deal with trolls, you'll be dying to find another one. Remember that some are harder to deal with than others, but all tend to give up after a short period.

 

 

TL;DR: DEAL WITH TROLLS BY IGNORING THEM OR COUNTER-TROLLING THEM WITH THESE CRAPPY TECHNIQUES.

[Ezynell 2,037]

Just ignore trolls.

 

Shortened your post Honestly, this is all you need to do.

Edited May 26, 2012 by Ezynell

[go away seb 367]

Shortened your post Honestly, this is all you need to do.

 

Yeah, but that's no fun.

[Starshine 16,333]

Use their own indignation against them.

 

If they say you're gay, ask them when the last time they kissed a girl

 

If they say you're childish, ask them how many anime they got in their HDD

 

If they insist that FiM is for the kids, ask them is Jersey Shore a better show?

 

Construct your arguments carefully, and act like you thought that it was very immature to question your fanaticism.

[Titan Rising 2,156]

I just spam them with bad memes it's so funny

[Typhoid Libby 1,265]

>Tl;Dr.

 

Gooby Pls, I got the whole Internet to browse, not going to spend time proving something to idiots or suffering sub-optimal time waste.

[Ashbad 969]

Honestly, these tactics are okay... but I've been able to deflect trolls pretty well. The trolls you speak of are ones that are the easiest to maneuver around. I call them the 4c12's, since they act like the stereotypical "12 year old 4channer". You can pretty much use the rules of the internet to your advantage to get around them. However, then there's the real business.

 

Bridge Trolls. The ones who actually know what they're doing.

 

Common tactics they'll use, and they work pretty well:

 

1. The "bring it on"

 

Troll: Aww, what a cute, gay little picture of flutterslut as your avatar.

 

You: Yeah, I'm not the one with <xxx> as my avatar...

 

Troll: How cute, you're trying to hit back! Punch harder, come at it again!

 

You: <xxx trying to be witty>

 

Troll: You're starting to make me depressed can you try a *bit* harder?

 

Trick to get out of it: don't get into it. Don't throw insults back, ever. A good troll will just ignore them and get you spun up by pretending not to listen to you. If you're already in this position, just close your mouth before you get overly embarrassed in front of your peers.

 

 

2. The "well, you're still here"

 

You: Heh, you think that you're getting me all worked up; you're not doing it very well.

 

Troll: Guys, look, he's calling me a troll! I think he's butthurt.

 

You: I'm not butthurt at all...

 

Troll: Well, then you wouldn't be paying notice to me right now!

 

Trick to get out of it: Usually playing along in a non-sarcastic manner for a line or two, followed by apathy responses like "k" or "" will make them lose the fun, and maybe bring on a wave of respect for you.

 

 

3. The "bandwagon of stupid"

 

This one usually happens with groups of bridge trolls.

 

You: I never said anything about being butthurt, dude.

 

Troll_1: He's never said anything about being butthurt guys!

 

Troll_2: Sweet! He must be honest abe!

 

Troll_3: It's getting dark soon, I'll make him butthurt, al'right! Prepare your body.

 

How to get out of it: you can only really play along. Never address them individually, unless one of them is much weaker of a troll than the others; in which case, pick him off. The other trolls might even help you if you can do it well enough.

 

 

 

Bridge Trolls are about the middle rung of trolls. Above that are what I call "Furies", because they can get your furious in a matter of a minute or two. They'll usually try to guess as much as they can about you, and then use that knowledge against you in a personal slam attack. To combat these, ignore them; they don't sound very scary, but these are the people who've been trolling the internet for years, almost professionally. I've run into a few over the years that were really good, and to this day I still have no idea how I'd combat them, besides completely ignoring them.

 

 

Of course, the best plan of action for any of them is "ignoring them". Furies would claim that even responding to their insults would classify you as "trolled". If you don't respond to them, then they cannot be successful. Unless you know you can take them on, in which case you'll end up as the troll of the troll

[NavelColt 22,879]

[media=]http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LfrnlVj40o&feature=related[/media]

 

The heck are all of you talking about? There's only one way to deal with parasprites.

 

Ignore, laugh at, or fighting back, whichever way you choose, the biggest thing to remember is to not let them get to you. Don't give them power by letting them accomplish what they're trying to do.

Edited May 27, 2012 by ~Chaotic Discord~

[M14Brony 92]

I prefer to simply ignore the trolls, given that counter-trolling them would make me a hypocritical troll in the process. Furthermore, do such pathetic people really warrant one's attention, given that such people are reduced to cowering behind internet anonymity to say things that they would not otherwise dare to say to somepony's face solely for the purpose of diverting their attention away from their numerous problems in life? I seriously think that becoming a troll is indicative of hitting rock bottom.

Edited May 27, 2012 by M14Brony

[go away seb 367]

This isn't really how to get rid of them. This is more like how you can have fun with them.

[Zya 59]

I'm guilty of excessive trolling, I don't do it to people I like though, like everypony here

 

At least not trolling that's hurtful in anyway *shifty eyes*

Edited May 27, 2012 by Zyean

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

Yeah, but that's no fun.

 

Well there are people out there who don't derive pleasure from trolls in any fashion, even toying with them.

[Deidre Asada 163]

[Lostwanderer 367]

I'm a self confessed troll, however i only trollin real life, i think doing it over the net is cowardly.

 

If people try troll me online, there are three options with nice outcomes, either get off the game, stop winging, or if the're really pissing me off i just block them.

 

Trolls, troll to get reactions, it really is that simple, ignore them, if you find it hard to handle, dont tell them, block them. Simplicity is good.

 

Countertrolling is however very fun, i won't lie, but if you're feeling particulary pleasant don't bother.

 

Also, trolling only creates more trolls.

[Tom 891]

Trolls you say, there's one simple and infallible solution. This:

 

Edited May 28, 2012 by Tom

[Swit Swat 536]

This thread amuses me. It helps people. It is good.

[Literally Snails 2,307]

I just say this: http://www.google.com/imgres?start=189&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1024&bih=662&addh=36&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=BQwSesHqj8dYWM:&imgrefurl=http://weheartit.com/Rymdblomma/sets/1623927-spider-man&docid=l3E0TWJABHrEBM&imgurl=http://data.whicdn.com/images/19828385/tumblr_lsuxm6YaQD1qj41h3o1_500_thumb.jpg&w=240&h=200&ei=Ku3DT-GgNIOQ8wS308ixCw&zoom=1

Edited May 28, 2012 by Snails

[♥.:Yulaiyre:.♥ 290]

I just like to pretend I don't understand what they are talking about, and being completely clueless...that's always fun c:

[Marcato 2,143]

Surprisingly enough, this is one of the greatest guides to beatings trolls I have seen. I can say from personal experience that these tips work.

[letterone 1,204]

What I do is be nice to them. It actually works. For instance, there was this troll named "lolEddisDead" was was commenting on Eddsworld videos saying mean things to Edd, who unfortunately is dead. Now at that time my "being nice" tactic was kinda new, so I tried it on his profile. And guess what? He hasn't been on since May 15. Try it, it may work for you.

[FedoraMemes 582]

If they say you're childish, ask them how many anime they got in their HDD

 

*Looks at anime on shelf*

 

 

But anyway, thanks for posting this up here. It can come really useful if someone tries to harass you. It doesn't just have to be in MLP related situations, but it can be used in any, which is why I like this guide. Thank you good sir/sirette.

[Matackable 534]

Shortened your post Honestly, this is all you need to do.

 

I like this!

[Whiteshade 1,426]

Ignore or offer cake, depends on your opinion of the troll in question really

[Why-Gnome-Ear-Fifty 400]

Universal counter: COME AT ME BRO (has to be done in all caps.)

 

Troll1: Omg kog so bad uninstall

 

ynomir50: COME AT ME BRO

 

Troll2: why you like mlp u gay?

 

ynomir50: COME AT ME BRO

 

Troll3: wow you fail at life have no friends

 

ynomir50: COME AT ME BRO

 

The trick is to be more obnoxious than the troll itself. Even if you sound stupid, he'll leave you alone! XD

 

I think.

[~Sugar Sprinkles~ 638]

Them things were so cute :3