Online Friendships and Physical Friendships; Online Interactions More Broadly

[Luna the Great of all the Russias 2,383]

What comes to my mind is that online interactions seem more abstract since I primarily see people as being an avatar that output text. Of course, I know that there is a real person operating that, but it is not something that is internalized for me. With people you know in reality, needless to say, you see that they are a real person -- there is no abstraction taking place here. So perhaps there is a sense that what may be called online friendships are not as genuine as physical friendships (more or less meaning that you know them from physical presence). However, one can also argue that a degree of anonymity online may actually make one feel more comfortable in acting more closely to their personality, so perhaps online friendships are more genuine than friendships in reality. Or perhaps one sees no meaningful difference between online and physical friendships. Of course, the distinction becomes increasingly vague if a friendship that was physical becomes more online in nature, and an online friendship becomes more physical in nature.

What do you think about the concept of online friendships, and the way it compares to physical friendships? Any other thoughts on the nature of online interactions in the broader sense?

[ZiggWheelsManning 5,724]

Hope this is on topic, my grocery store workplace uses live video webcam of people in meetings from other stores in order to watch instruction videos.  I don't think this creates a broader sense of friendships towards employees in a physical way as there is no scent or welcoming charm in a single room to a positive environment.  Online connection of a work environment there (my store workplace) is vague.  

[Cash In 20,559]

The dynamic is different. I think it's easier to build friendships online, mostly because it is easier to find people with mutual interests. I also think it feels safer to divulge more personal thoughts or feelings online, because you do have that layer of anonymity. I think with physical friendships, it's easier to become closer. Of course, that's because that physical dynamic is there and I think you can depend more on those friends because of that. Granted, every friendship is different and I don't think one is more genuine than the other. I think that part depends on the friends you have.

[Longhaul 6,467]

I've not noticed many differences in my online and physical friendships in that my interactions with both have basically been the same.  I tend to keep both at arm's length until I truly get to know them (as best as possible online), although I have had some online friends become real-world friends over the course of time.

[Planeswalker Silky 9,325]

In person we all have our personal space that we do not like to be crossed. Elevators can be the worst to many people cause we simply want to get to our destination and avoid any strangers crossing said personal space -- then rush out. Meeting strangers in person holds so many elements of concern and worry.

There are also other elements. When you're a girl and some random guy approaches you to be nice -- you have to triple your guards up or you want to flee. Even If it's just a nice person trying to make a new friend, you don't know them and you can't tell them apart from the not so good people who are pretending to do exactly that.

I used to treat my online friends as I did in-person strangers. Kept an arms length and hid. Never showed my photo. Ever. It would only attract the weirdos again and heck if some of those weirdos suspected I may be a guy -- all the better! Maybe then they'd be forced to get to know me on the inside rather than just be creepy lol

It wasn't until I joined the forum community -- almost TEN years ago that I realized connections could be so much more deeper. The people I met actually took their friendships seriously and one of them even flew across the oceans to save me from the doomed path I was carving into my life. Again, I was very reserved. But he noticed an odd pattern. A pattern only a true friend would have captured and politely insisted that I give more details. And once I did, he instantly saw the red flags and was like "yeah, no... you can't see that you're walking into a trap."

By this time, there had been many things we've discussed, delighted in, shared laughter and similarities - so there was a rapport we were familiar with.

If I had met these people in person.. there would definitely be an element of awkward silence due to how intensely shy we are. But online, you don't have your looks or other physical traits people can use to stereotype. You only have your personality, your interests, content you observe. etc and these things reveal deeper elements to a person's nature. I LOVE online friendships for this reason. You truly just bond core to core rather than just.. connecting out of some shallow attraction. 

It's been quite a journey with friends in an online community, even. We're all in different points in our lives, different experiences, backgrounds, countries, etc...
And yet.. we're united by a common interest or theme. Even if it's just the familiarity of this platform we're sharing together.

The bond, or at least, the experience... is internal and can therefore be more impactful than some external experience.

So, this is my take on that. And I'm happy to have discovered it so long ago <3 the friendships can be real or as weak as you're comfortable with them being. That's another beautiful feature of it. 

[Props Valroa 24,764]

I'll give a full overview of my Online and Physical Friendships.

All of my Physical Friendships were people I had known in school. I originally went from Kindergarten to 2nd grade in the place I used to live. There, it was a more urban environment as opposed to what I am used to now. When I was at that age, I did have one major friend from what I remember. We would mainly bond over Transformers and Space related topics. There were other people I was friends with at that young age. I would occasionally go to birthday parties and visit other people's houses. There was even one girl who liked me who came to my house, though that didn't last long for reasons I can't remember.

When we moved in 2011 to where we are now, I instantly felt like an outsider in the school I was apart of. I would hear other kids talking about stuff that happened years ago that I wasn't apart of, and I felt like an outsider. I quickly got introduced to various friendships that would last the full length of my time in the Public Education system. We would bond over the generally "Weird" stuff in life. We were always talking about strange and "inappropriate" subjects and bonding over dark humor, in Elementary School. I originally met my Best Friend in 4th grade, under conditions I don't remember.

When I got into Middle School, my circle of friendships had changed and felt much larger. I met new friends and other people I had not seen before. In Middle School is mainly when my friendships grew. Middle School is probably the only times I have real nostalgia for times in school. Elementary School, looking back felt far more limited in terms of my friendships. High School in my opinion was just trash. I didn't meet anyone new there, and high school in my opinion was just a complete slog. Middle School was the perfect balance, of where I knew a lot of people but still had that childish innocence and wonder about life. 

As High School went further on, more and more friends would "vanish" from my radar, until only a small handful remained. I recall with my former Best Friend, we would talk about what we would do together after we graduate. We never did anything. I haven't seen him in over 3 years at this point. My Physical Friendships did convey over to Online, but by the point they did I could tell that the friendships I had with them was already fading away. Ultimately, I made the decision to cut off contact with them. I realized that the Physical Friendships I had, while we had great memories together, there was very little reason to continue associating with them. We had diverged significantly in interests and they had also done various things that caused relations to strain to the point where I felt like it was best to end it. In late 2022 I did see a former friend from school in person, randomly at a store. There were other people there that I recognized and they seemed to have been working there together. We had a brief interaction that lasted about 10 seconds. Who knows, if I will ever see those people again.

For Online friendships? I've only interacted online with people starting in 2014 in Minecraft. I would play in various servers and gain various friends. One of them ended up becoming a successful youtuber. The other, that I can remember had a faction together in another server. We would do various things together and try to spread out faction to different servers. His faction name had something to do with a special kind of soap, from what I can remember. I ended up betraying him and griefing his server as I usually did back in those days. He freaked out on me and completely went ballistic. That is all I remember.

It was only until 2015 when I really got involved Online. On another forum I was in, I was heavily active and highly controversial. Back in those days, I would mainly use the forum as a way to streak personal ego rather than anything else. 2015 was mainly a year of me being plainly edgy for the sake of being edgy, though by 2016 I had seemingly calmed down from that. In June of 2016, 7 years ago as I am writing this, I met a Roleplaying Group. Those people got me into Roleplaying and ended up becoming my main friendgroup. Eventually, these people would eclipse my Physical Friendships in terms of importance.

The internal relations between the dozen or less group I was in, as we traveled from the forum to our own private forums, and eventually Discord was complicated. It was akin to geopolitics. Everyone had a relation with someone else, that was in alignment or opposition to another. Despite the internal conflict in that group, it is the longest lasting group I have ever had and it lead to memories that have lasted a lifetime. It was up until 2018, that a certain user got involved in that group. I made the mistake of allowing this user to end up becoming my online best friend. He ended up causing a multitude of issues with this group and dividing people against each other. I evidently, didn't see it coming. He was the one who ended that group as far as I am concerned, due to his betrayal of me and subsequent toxicity towards other people. This is at least, the short form of it. There is a whole lore on this group that would take multiple hours to explain.

After that group dissolved in 2019, I more or less went on a hunt to find other groups to no avail. This mindset continued until 2020, when I returned to the forums and took a more MLP forum centric approach to things. MLP forums ended up becoming my main source of Online Relationships, at least the ones that I cherish. There is another group I have become apart of, though it is not something that I would rank as highly as MLP forum. 

In terms of MLP forums, I can safely say that I would not have the close connections I have with people that I do now without the forums. In the past year or so, I have become rather selective of those I associate with to reduce conflict and wasting energy. 

[Dreambiscuit 7,457]

I don’t really differentiate between one and the other. Friendship is friendship and I don’t have to see someone physically to like them or interact in a meaningful way. If I met my online friends in person I don’t imagine I would think of them with more or less affection. It’s convenient to know someone in person because interaction is more natural, but friendship isn’t a physical thing so it doesn’t require a physical presence to be enjoyed. I do tend to be a hugger though, so that’s one aspect my online friends can be spared from.

[TBD 17,061]

I have grown a bit hardened when it comes to making friends both online and irl. I suppose it either because I have trust issues or maybe my character traits may be considered rather unpleasant to most people once they get to dig deeper to know me more behind all this alluring composure.
 

The last time I have real life friends was college. After that, I keep acquaintances since all I do was working and go home without too much thought on it. But even so, with irl friends, I don’t feel much connection with them since I can’t express myself truly irl. Online is different since as much as I tried to keep people in acquaintances zone I just happened to grow attached to people I met. I suppose it tells me I long for people connection. I had experienced online friends who ghosted me once they get to know the “real me” that no one irl knows. So with that I grew more shallow about it. 
 

I don’t have the ability to have emotional connection towards anyone; like love and such. My coincidence mind would say “if you can’t love your own family then you don’t deserve friends”.  That’s just one of the reason as I have many other reasons not to grow attached to people online and irl that i cannot list or say in words. 
 

I do wish that I can be more open comfortable around people and trust people.. starting with my family. I wish I can feel this emotional connection with people. I think my anger or whatever it is I’m dealing with are just too curved in the deep  to make myself not open and trust with people and my family. I could say I blamed the society for this but over time, I run out of things to blame. 
 

That being said, I’m not blind or ungrateful that there are people around me who treats me with respect and kindness. But I can’t help it but still keeping myself distance away from them. And idk why I keep doing that.

[Planeswalker Silky 9,325]

9 minutes ago, TBD said:

I have grown a bit hardened when it comes to making friends both online and irl. I suppose it either because I have trust issues or maybe my character traits may be considered rather unpleasant to most people once they get to dig deeper to know me more behind all this alluring composure.
 

The last time I have real life friends was college. After that, I keep acquaintances since all I do was working and go home without too much thought on it. But even so, with irl friends, I don’t feel much connection with them since I can’t express myself truly irl. Online is different since as much as I tried to keep people in acquaintances zone I just happened to grow attached to people I met. I suppose it tells me I long for people connection. I had experienced online friends who ghosted me once they get to know the “real me” that no one irl knows. So with that I grew more shallow about it.
 

I don’t have the ability to have emotional connection towards anyone; like love and such. My coincidence mind would say “if you can’t love your own family then you don’t deserve friends”.  That’s just one of the reason as I have many other reasons not to grow attached to people online and irl that i cannot list or say in words. 
 

I do wish that I can be more open comfortable around people and trust people.. starting with my family. I wish I have feel this emotional connection with people. I think my anger or whatever it is I’m dealing with are just too curved in the deep  to make myself not open and trust with people and my family. I could say I blamed the society for this but over time, I run out of things to blame. 
 

That being said, I’m not blind or ungrateful that there are people around me who treats me with respect and kindness. But I can’t help it but still keeping myself distance away from them. And idk why I keep doing that.

I am sorry to hear about this struggle... I've had it, too. I understand what you're speaking of...

I can only ask that you try to open up a little bit. You don't have to trust. You don't have to place yourself in a vulnerable position where you might get hurt... however... it's so refreshing to open up slightly, be comfortable with connecting with another individual. Online, it tends to be easier, cause you're sort've ... having no choice but to talk about things rather than awkwardly stare at each other in person.

You're a VERY sweet person online. You have A LOT of talent running and managing both Events and RP. I've witnessed personal betrayal upon you despite your attempting to do the right thing and it shattered my heart... that was only a glimpse... I can only imagine what you've gone through in real life. The only thing I can advise... is that... you please consider not closing off fully. Otherwise it becomes an identity too deeply ingrained like it was with me. 

I apologize for the unsolicited advice. I just want you to know that I do see you. And it's just me. Many others see you too and may be too shy to approach. 

Today, I've had an experience with someone that brought me into a near existential crisis. I spoke to him as he poured his fears and struggles out... and it ... it was like speaking to myself some years back. I was speaking to a male version of myself from some time ago. I offered comfort and guidance. This is the kind of thing most people in person are too busy hiding away in their homes and struggle with... and here he was.. opening up and confiding in me. And I wanted to cry because it was like I went on a time machine and was speaking to myself. I just wanted to gently shake her, as me from the future, and say "wake up! you've got this! Don't get lost in your mind. Keep reaching out to people, even if just online! Connect. Bond. Feel your humanity. If not, feel you're a being worthy of love, support, friendship and compassion... 

It hurts because if I had not been struggling with these things many years ago, lost in my own head, I may have been able to have met this individual sooner and we could have been there for each other as well. He values friendships in the exact same way that I do, too. And I always thought I was weird for being like that. We have a lot more in common than we realize.

Anyway, just another way in which I can appreciate my online friends a little differently than my in person friends who tend to get too lost in their work, family life, personal lives or even online lives lol Perhaps we have moved into a hybrid digital era.

[TBD 17,061]

18 hours ago, Princess Silky said:

I am sorry to hear about this struggle... I've had it, too. I understand what you're speaking of...

I can only ask that you try to open up a little bit. You don't have to trust. You don't have to place yourself in a vulnerable position where you might get hurt... however... it's so refreshing to open up slightly, be comfortable with connecting with another individual. Online, it tends to be easier, cause you're sort've ... having no choice but to talk about things rather than awkwardly stare at each other in person.

You're a VERY sweet person online. You have A LOT of talent running and managing both Events and RP. I've witnessed personal betrayal upon you despite your attempting to do the right thing and it shattered my heart... that was only a glimpse... I can only imagine what you've gone through in real life. The only thing I can advise... is that... you please consider not closing off fully. Otherwise it becomes an identity too deeply ingrained like it was with me. 

I apologize for the unsolicited advice. I just want you to know that I do see you. And it's just me. Many others see you too and may be too shy to approach. 

Today, I've had an experience with someone that brought me into a near existential crisis. I spoke to him as he poured his fears and struggles out... and it ... it was like speaking to myself some years back. I was speaking to a male version of myself from some time ago. I offered comfort and guidance. This is the kind of thing most people in person are too busy hiding away in their homes and struggle with... and here he was.. opening up and confiding in me. And I wanted to cry because it was like I went on a time machine and was speaking to myself. I just wanted to gently shake her, as me from the future, and say "wake up! you've got this! Don't get lost in your mind. Keep reaching out to people, even if just online! Connect. Bond. Feel your humanity. If not, feel you're a being worthy of love, support, friendship and compassion... 

It hurts because if I had not been struggling with these things many years ago, lost in my own head, I may have been able to have met this individual sooner and we could have been there for each other as well. He values friendships in the exact same way that I do, too. And I always thought I was weird for being like that. We have a lot more in common than we realize.

Anyway, just another way in which I can appreciate my online friends a little differently than my in person friends who tend to get too lost in their work, family life, personal lives or even online lives lol Perhaps we have moved into a hybrid digital era.

I had some part in the past where I do actually felt something but I begin to realize whether or not it’s real. I think my shown of values towards friends and family connections was more of “wanting” rather than “loving.” Like having it as a procession.
 

But I do appreciate your advice by sharing me this. I do think and believe opening more would somehow help me feel more connected. I know people appreciate my exterior personality and I do so out genuine because if you respect me than I will respect you sorta thing. Otherwise no. But it’s my interiors personality that is a huge struggle to show and be accepted. One day I hope.

I don’t think it’s weird to feel that way, I think it just another way how some people as yourself show their connection to people. It might not be the norm but if it works for you than it’s not broken.