Finding Love vs Letting Love Find Us?

[Longhaul 9,805]

I've tried both and, to be honest, neither method has worked out that well for me.  I've pretty much given up on it, it's way too late for me now.

[Sparklefan1234 184,473]

Friendship is a type of love and I've found a lot of it on MLP Forums!  (I did that thing again where I liked posts so I need to make a contribution.) 

[Clawdeen 25,224]

On 2025-07-18 at 8:48 AM, ExplosionMare said:

I never sought love myself, it always came to me (well, more like "love" because it was usually all a ruse in the end). I still won't go out seeking for love because that's not in my personality.

I honestly just want it to stay away from me so I can focus on my friends and family instead. I am happy with those relationships and I am content with not having a husband, kids, etc.. I have thought it over and I feel like the romantic life never truly appealed to me the way it does to most people. I think all along, I just wanted to feel cared for by somebody outside of my biological family but I have found that now outside of having a partner. Entertaining the idea of a romantic relationship was fun while it lasted but that part of my life is over now. I don't care what anyone else says or thinks because at this point, if I dated anyone, it would be to appease other people and not for me, which would just ruin the relationship anyways.

TLDR; "Love" has found me in the past and I don't really need it to find me again, since I'm not looking for it myself in the first place.

From one woman to another I highly recommend putting not interested in relationships in the biggest size and boldest letters possible on every online profile you have then.

Not saying it will work because *Men* will sometimes ignore and pursue regardless but.

[ExplosionMare 26,244]

18 hours ago, Clawdeen said:

From one woman to another I highly recommend putting not interested in relationships in the biggest size and boldest letters possible on every online profile you have then.

Not saying it will work because *Men* will sometimes ignore and pursue regardless but.

Makes me wish there was a "Not Interested" status instead of having to put "Single"!  Single seems to imply to people that "I'll find the right man someday!" 

[Avery 1,269]

I would rather have love come to me. I don’t go searching for something invisible while missing out the other things that are important to me.

[Street Light 875]

both :3 neither :3 idk. if it happens, it happens, but there has to be a degree of presence for it, and you can't just let everything just happen, sometimes u gotta like, go searching or w/e ^~^

[Treeglow Flicker 14,498]

I find that it kinda just sneaks up on you. Then what you do with it is kinda up to you. 

[DubWolf 19,980]

Lol, back when that thread existed.

Indeed, it wouldn't "just happen". You have to make an effort. Though I guess what really varies is the degree of "openness" about being interested with one another. Some make it as obvious as going on an app to meet people, where it's transparent that you're making an effort in hopes something materializes, and you both clearly have some interested to begin with, versus just meeting and chatting with someone, maybe becoming friends, but there's not necessarily clarity if they'd ever consider dating you (and might be taken themselves, you just don't know it), or if they even like you and just pretending to tolerate you.

Personally I've been very bad with the former. I'm not the most physically attractive person, so between getting to know a 5 versus an 8, it's kinda obvious who's getting hits and who isn't, be it in real life or an app. And yeah admittedly, I was never the best socially either. Just reflecting, it's a miracle I ever dated anybody lol (personally I only consider 2 of my relationships to have been true relationships, as the first felt weird in hindsight).

Directly answering the question, I prefer to "let it find me", as dating someone to "get to know them better" just feels like an interview where you feel things have to go perfect, versus more casually learning about one another and it feels more natural and safe, and then some can decide by whatever means if something more should happen.

But, it's been finding and seeking other people instead, so... kinda wish it'd be now or never, as I prefer acceptance than mystery .