Giving to a Beggar

[lomk 20,663]

Sometimes, the hardest decision I have to make is if I should give to a beggar.

 

I’m actually kind of thankful that this decision is the hardest choice I have to make sometimes. My childhood was far from ideal. My four siblings and I were poor too, although our parents had every opportunity to pull us out of poverty. They just couldn't give up their old ways.

 

My father was a heavy drug user. He used methamphetamine and marijuana. It seemed like his whole being revolved getting his next fix. And when he couldn't, he became violent. My mother was no better than he. She could have left him at any time, but she didn't. It was like she needed him, and the thought of one second away from him freaked her out. Codependency, I guess.

 

Because of our plight, my siblings and I grew up on a healthy diet of ramen noodles. Mostly. The food bank also helped us out in our time of need. We never had any food because they would sell the food stamps to the drug dealers. Basically, they’d give away the card PIN to the drug dealer and let the dealer spend however much the drugs cost. It got that bad.

 

So we were beggars ourselves. We lived with family or friends for most of our lives. And we never stayed in the same house or school for more than six months. My parents never held down a steady job, and we were starving.

 

Now when I was 15, I was taken into a foster family who taught me some life skills and values. I’m in college so I don’t have to go back there. I manage my money so I don’t go broke. I want to make sure I never need to rely on the help of another person for money again.

 

So when I saw a lady holding a sign that said she has three kids and she can’t feed them, it really pulled at my heart. At the time, I didn’t have any cash so I couldn’t give her anything. But the fact that I hadn’t given was tearing me apart. I was thinking about driving straight to my apartment. My mother did much of the same things. She’d beg for money. But then she’d go spend it all on drugs for my father and herself. What if this lady was going to do the same? What if there was someone waiting in the bush nearby to rob me? These were only a few of the thoughts that went through my mind. On the other side of that, I thought, What if her children starve tonight? What if the burden of being poor pushes her over the edge and she kills herself because she can’t make ends meet? I felt like I had a legitimate reason to give. I felt like I had an equally legitimate reason not to give.

 

Then I decided that there was a time that I couldn’t afford to not have been given to. Now I can afford to give. What if she can’t afford to not be given to? What if she really does kill herself tonight because I had an opportunity to share what I have, but didn’t? And who am I to keep that from someone who needs it far more than I? So with this in mind, I turned around as soon as I pulled in to the parking lot at my apartment, went clear across town to the ATM, and went back and gave her a little money.  And you know what? It looks even worse for her than it initially appeared.

 

She’s a native of Romania. She probably doesn’t know 50 words in English. Because she can’t speak (and therefore read/write) English in a small Oklahoma town, she probably doesn’t stand a chance of finding a job. She can’t even make any connections with anyone so they can tell her about job openings. It really breaks my heart for the poor thing.

 

So yes, this will TOTALLY screw up my budget this month. I’m in college. I have to live on a really tight budget. But at the end of the day, my problems sound much better than hers.

 

So what do y’all think? Do you give to someone in need only for them to spend the money on drugs, alcohol, or other things that don’t provide for their needs? Or do you not give and possibly allow their plight to get the best of them? What’s the greater evil? 

[~Silver Essence~ 2,621]

I always give to the needy or poor by change or donation.

 

However, it's when they use it for stupid stuff like beer or drugs that makes me upset and wonder why I gave it to them, luckily, most use it to feed themselves from what I've seen. 

[Scootalove 10,684]

I give money to the poor and people that just need money for food. If I gave it to a person who just spends it on drugs, beer, and other nonsense then regretting my decision would start to come to mind.

[GhostPony750 958]

The best solution is to buy food and give it to her.

This way you are sure they won't use the money to buy drugs. But I understand the dilema, don't worry..

 

If this happens again, the best thing you can do is actually to bring them to a restaurant, now you are 100% sure they won't trade the food for drugs. Well, it's if you are kind enough to do this, going to a restaurant is expensive.

[Thorns 55]

The best route to take is to simply ignore the homeless. They can lick old cardboard pizza boxes behind a Dominoes for all I care. Buying them food, sheltering them, giving them money, giving them anything free is certainly not helping them out, and it certainly does not assist the Giver financially wise.

I'm sure you heard the old political story about the little girl wanting to help the people of the world. She's talking to her father about how she can give back to the community, and she speaks openly of assisting a homeless man. The father recommends she do some yardwork for money to then give to the homeless character. The girl's face scrunches up to display confusion and she asks: "Then why doesn't the homeless man do the yardwork so he can have money?"

It's that simple. They can spend their time trying to employ themselves, but instead they wallow on street corners and under overpasses with crappy signs publicising their misfortunate. That's pathetic. Let them find their own work. We certainly don't need imbeciles bearing the intellect of some syphilitic creature multiplying anywhere.

[Katana 298]

I read an unfortunate article about how a state of poverty actually directly affects someone's mental capacity, possibly through the stress involved. It sort of reveals how povery becomes this quagmire that's very, very difficult to get out of. I don't think it's fair to blame so many of the world's homeless on people being lazy, when really it HAS become so hard to find a job.

 

One positive is that there ARE many government programs meant to assist these people. Often, they're hard to find, hard to qualify for, are complicated to make use of, or just don't provide the right kind of help.

 

I tend to give money to homeless if they are positive and respectful to the people that pass them by. Actually, I also once accepted someone's bet on the street that he could answer 3 questions:

1. Where I got my shoes

2. How many children my father had

3. What state I was born in

After accepting...

1. You've got your shoes on your feet.

2. Your father had no children; your mother had the children.

3. You were born in a state of infancy.

 

I gave him $5 for the humor.

[Ihei 711]

Well, I'm not so sure about it now. Because:

 

1. I know that the government helps the homeless. They have a shelter nearby where I live.

2. Once, I gave money to a beggar (( 20 dollars. )) and he ran across the street right in front of my eyes to the drugstore. He even claimed he broke his leg!

3. I only give money to charity/homeless services.

[TomokoKuroki 1,707]

I don't give money to the poor. For one reason or another, they couldn't manage their money/financial situation properly. I donate old clothes, or give them to some of the homeless if I see them near by my home.

 

But I wont give money, I don't know what they will use it for, and my budget is limited as it is.

Edited September 3, 2013 by Tomoko Kuroki

[Starshine 16,330]

http://voices.yahoo.com/why-professional-beggars-earn-more-money-than-you-170308.html

 

Don't believe in just one link. Do your own research, and you will know that in some cases, those dirty beggars earn twice as much as you

Yeah, there are some rock-bottom beggars who might die tomorrow if nobody spare him a change, but there is a very good chance that the beggar is merely fooling around with your kindness.

 

Oh, and those beggars with a lot of kids? They should've know that raising babies doesn't come cheap, they should've know better than letting their lust taking over their life. You want to help a beggar? Do what Thorns said and give them a job somewhere. I bet fifty bits half of those beggars on the street would outright refuse the job and choose to continue begging instead.

[Smarts 1,620]

I don't give money to beggars or the homeless. I'd rather give my money to a donation or charity. At least there, I feel that I'm helping someone out there who really needs it. With a beggar or a homeless person, I feel as though they would just waste the money on something that is ruining their life.

[Galen 1,353]

The best thing to do is to give money to charities and donations. With even $1, you can help way more than just one person by giving to an non-profit organization, which you'd only be helping one person by giving to a beggar on the street. That being said, one trick I've learned is that it's often the people who outright beg to passersby on the street who're more likely to use drugs and whatnot. It's the silent ones who're more likely to use their money "properly" in the sense that they'll buy themselves food or even clothing if they scrummage enough.

[Shanks 10,811]

I don't give money to the poor. For one reason or another, they couldn't manage their money/financial situation properly.

Maybe that is the case, maybe not, you don't really know that for sure. Alot of companies are laying people off right now and even people that are employed often aren't given enough hours to support themselves. And sometimes people get sick and lose everything in order to pay their medical bills. Even people who have a reasonable standard of living sometimes need 2 or more jobs just to maintain this thanks to the out control inflationary monetary and fiscal policies making the dollar gradually so worthless you might as well wipe your ass with it.

 

I am not denying there are some beggers that just want booze or drugs, but there is simply no way or knowing that for sure so I can't bring myself to judge them too harshly. I still understand the reluctance to give them money though, and I myself prefer to give them food or clothes. 

[Thuja 3,658]

I tend to give to local charities instead of give money to a beggar.  Some of those people out there might actually need the money but there are also those people that are being used by gangs to get them money, they are professional beggars, fueling a drug habit or something else.  I will try to help someone out if they are going hungry or need to go to the hospital though, just not give them money.

Edited September 3, 2013 by Anishna

[CloudFyre 848]

The number of actual needy people in first world countries such as the U.S. is far less than what it seems. In fact, a large portion of those who are out asking for money on the streets have a home and plenty to keep them entertained - but begging in the right location can produce almost three times minimum wage, without the need to lift a hand and work!

According to a family friend of ours who works in a drug enforcement branch of the police, nearly 90% (yes, 9 out of 10) people asking for money on the streets don't even have a real "need" for it. People really need to stop the cycle, because as long as people give to them, they'll keep leeching off of others.

I watched a funny clip of a news reporter who dressed up as a homeless man and went out onto the streets for a while to see if he could get some money, and even though he chose a less traveled street, he still made more than minimum wage. (The money was returned to their owners before they walked away.)

They later tracked some of the other beggars back to their homes, where they exposed them for being frauds. If I can find the video, I'll link it here later.

Long story short: don't give directly to people begging out on the streets. Give it to an organization that can properly distribute it.


 

[ASocialyAwkwardPony 299]

Sometimes if I got some spare changes after visiting a store to get snacks for a movie or such I tend to give it to beggars. I might start to buy a sandwich for them if I see them sitting outside the store when I go in. I am pretty sure no Norwegians with actual money would be sitting and begging with our climate.

[Mickey Taker 347]

One time late at night I was rushing to catch a bus home when a woman simply came up to me and asked for 50p for a cup of tea, I was kinda in a hurry so I just said "aw heck" and gave her £3, I could tell she was a beggar at the time from the look of her.

 

Since then I try to make a habit to try not to give money out too beggars if I can't help it, I'm not a horrible person I swear, but I am quite sympathetic and If I start making a habit of it, I would probably end up where they are now.

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

This post has been redacted by the author.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Blue

[squareyes 153]

Giving to beggars is, ironically, like letting someone borrow your pen. You don't what this person will do with it, or even if you'll ever see it again. Same with the money you're giving to a beggar. You don't know what will happen to it, you just hope it's used in the best way.

 

I barely ever have any money on me since I don't have anything close to an income (yet) but when I do have money on me, I'll probably give just 50p.

[Moonlight 7,279]

Usually, I don't have any money on me, so I sadly can't give any money.

 

Call me weird, but one of my dreams when I'm older, is to save up a lot of money, find someone who's homeless and give the money to them or just an ordinary beggar and hope they're happy about it or if they use it for something useful. 

 

They probably have bigger problems than I could ever have. 

[Dusknight Haze 161]

The best route to take is to simply ignore the homeless. They can lick old cardboard pizza boxes behind a Dominoes for all I care. Buying them food, sheltering them, giving them money, giving them anything free is certainly not helping them out, and it certainly does not assist the Giver financially wise.

 

I'm sure you heard the old political story about the little girl wanting to help the people of the world. She's talking to her father about how she can give back to the community, and she speaks openly of assisting a homeless man. The father recommends she do some yardwork for money to then give to the homeless character. The girl's face scrunches up to display confusion and she asks: "Then why doesn't the homeless man do the yardwork so he can have money?"

 

It's that simple. They can spend their time trying to employ themselves, but instead they wallow on street corners and under overpasses with crappy signs publicising their misfortunate. That's pathetic. Let them find their own work. We certainly don't need imbeciles bearing the intellect of some syphilitic creature multiplying anywhere.

 

Hm... I don't know about this. Being someone who has both had family members who were homeless and has been homeless (although for a very short time) I can tell you it is extremely difficult to get past the hurdle of getting back into the world of employment and payroll. Without the basic material resources to feed and cloth yourself, how are you going to get to work every day, be on time without transportation, feed yourself while you're working since you can't even really beg anymore, and wear clothes and groom yourself without having anything with which to do so?

 

I'm not gonna go out on a limb and say that all homeless people are not responsible for their situations. But from my personal experience, it's probably about 50/50... 50% of people who fucked up in life and are responsible for their shitty actions, and 50% of people screwed over by circumstance, economy, war, disease, violence, tragedy, etc... So don't be so quick and harsh to judge, because you never know the story.

 

Besides, I rationalize it this way. If we in the western developed world do indeed have enough money to pay for EVERYONE's (and I do mean EVERYONE) food and housing, then why don't we? It's foolish.

 

But I will say that if you yourself are on a tight budget with no extra money and few resources, then don't bother. Your safety and livelihood before others. 

 

But if/when you do have the money or time to help others, you should do the best you can do. There's really no reason for people to go without and go homeless other than foolishness of those who have the money to help, and a stigma against people of various walks of life.

 

EDIT: I do agree with the multiplication thing. But I think that applies to everyone. Our population growth is out of control. 

 

Having a kid is basically stealing resources from someone else :/

Edited September 4, 2013 by Dusknight Haze

[Discordian 6,013]

I've taken to ignoring any and all people who try to talk to me on the street. Why? Because I don't know if they are gonna ask for money or not and if they are, they aren't gonna get a cent out of me. I am under no obligation to give my hard-earned money to anyone regardless of their circumstances and I have no compassion whatsoever for people who are not directly involved in my life.

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

I've come across beggars before and I do remember giving without much thought. More because I didn't have a whole lot of patience or money on me.

 

Well... It is difficult to tell whether beggars are legit or succumb too easily to their cravings for drugs. Honestly, I can't really blame them for their addiction. Don't forget that drugs temporarily give relief to pain; physical, psychological and emotional, as well as temporarily giving the person a sense of being whole and alive; someone who would otherwise feel dead and empty inside.

 

On one hand, I don't want my money going into the hands of drug cartels... The most effective option I could see would be to adopt the homeless but... yeah, that'd be quite... tricky.

[Argos 191]

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Edited March 16, 2014 by Argos