Justin_Case001

Every so often, just for a larf, I like to look up what the most viewed videos of all time on youtube are. If you just google it, you'll find several sites that post these stats. As far as I am aware, there is no real-time counter like the world population or US national debt clocks. It's just lists of the top ten or twenty most viewed videos as of the time of posting. I haven't thought about it in a long time, though. Been busy. Last time I checked was... oh, about eight or so years ago. Sometime in 2014 sounds about right. I remember it because I was living in a different house at the time. Back then, the most viewed video of all time was a pop music video by... um... I wanna say Lady Gaga. If not her, somebody similar. It had about 350 million views. That was mind-boggling at the time. I think every single video on the top ten list was a music video intended for adults and/or teens. Mostly pop. You know what the most viewed video today is? You're never gonna get it. Oh wait, I guess I gave it away in the title and picture. Yeah, it's a children's song called Baby Shark Dance. Thar she blows, but ye be warned, tis not for the faint of heart: Yup. That's it. Over 10 billion views. 10 billion. That's billion with a B. The view count is 1.25x the population of Earth. Just try to wrap your head around that for a second. And keep in mind that most people in the world probably haven't seen this video. I mean, think about all of the people in the world for a second. Think about every person who would have no interest in this video, and no reason to even know it exists, not to mention all the people who still live in poverty and don't even have access to the internet. I think it's safe to assume that the majority, probably vast majority of all people on Earth have not seen this video, and it still has significantly more views than there are people on the planet. That's wild and kinda scary. Circa 2014, the most viewed video had ~350 million views. Now, just eight years later, the most viewed video, which was uploaded after that, in 2016, has 10 billion. Actually, it's 10.47 billion. The insignificant decimal amount, the change, is 470 million, more than that video from 2014. It's just insane. It's hard to even comprehend. This dramatic increase definitely speaks volumes about us, doesn't it? I realize that there's more people on Earth today than in 2014, but not that much more. That surely can't account for much of the difference. This change says something significant about our habits. We're spending way more time online, and it's continually increasing. And obviously, the fact that the most viewed video is now for young kids says something else of consequence. In fact, a lot of top viewed videos are now for kids. In 2014, I believe every video on the list was a pop star music video, and now at least a third in the top twenty list are for little kids. It's just blows my mind that this kid's video has more views than Earth's population, and there are many more on the list in the billions as well. What is happening?! Obviously, parents must be parking their kids in front of these videos everyday and just playing them on a loop to keep them entranced and shut them up. This ludicrous amount of screen time can't be healthy. The fact that we're online, and that kids in particular are online that much more than just eight or so years ago is staggering and quite frankly a little frightening to me. So far I've mostly just been talking about the sheer view count, but let's talk about the actual content of the video for a second. "Baby shark, baby shark, do do do do, mommy shark, mommy shark, do do do do"? ... Seriously? That's what gets 10.4 billion views? You're sh*tting me. That's just sad. I mean, why can't the most viewed video at least be something good? Okay, now, don't get me wrong--I'm not ripping on it just because it's for kids. I mean, look where we are right now. I love cute, colorful, girly kid's stuff, but, well, I mean, this shark thing is just stupid. I'm not saying it's stupid just because it's for kids. No, I'm saying it's stupid because it's stupid. It's devoid of any kind of real talent or creativity or cleverness. It's just empty, pathetic fluff. I didn't even make it all the way through! I only made it as far as daddy shark before I couldn't stomach any more! I mean, something can be intended for kids and still be good! Obviously. Duh. But this... this is garbage! Why is it so freaking popular?! Why would any kids want to watch this when you could watch any song from freakin' MLP G4?! Or Littlest Pet Shop?! Or freaking anything else?! Ugh. I don't get it. Okay, okay.... okay.... so that paragraph was just my little silly rant and opinion. I mean, y'know, I'm not trying to dump on anyone who actually likes this, but I don't understand it. And here's the thing--I realize it's for a younger audience than FIM, but there's plenty of content for little, little kids that's not so dumb. I think Sesame Street holds up well and isn't such a cringefest. Mr. Rogers was a daily staple for me as a really little kid, and I actually watched a bit of it recently for some context before watching the recent documentary, Won't You Be My Neighbor?, followed by the Tom Hanks movie, It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and I've got to say that, even though I have no interest in unironically sitting down and watching an entire episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood today, the show holds up, and is definitely not a cringefest. The point being, young children's stuff can be good, but this shark thing is, in my honest opinion, a piece of crap. Well, anyway.... I guess that's it. Nothing more to say, other than I think we should get our kids away from the screen more.

You just reminded me of something a friend of mine said. He had the perfect analogy for this stuff that I've ever heard. He called it the "bad taxidermy" analogy. So, with regards to when a company resurrects a classic, beloved franchise and butchers the hell out of it, my friend said that would be like if an artificial intelligence reanimated your beloved deceased pet into some kind of uncanny, soulless, robotic husk, and was then surprised when you were upset and asked, in it's own genuine, innocent way, "I don't understand. You loved this thing and I brought it back for you. Why aren't you happy?" Wonderful illustration.

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? The fact that no show, movie, game, franchise, or story of any kind ever has a definitive ending anymore. I'm talking' about the rampant trend of reviving, rebooting, continuing, and resurrecting franchises ad infinitum. I'm talkin' about the fact that no matter what show or movie it is, no matter what story, no matter how it ended, and no matter how long ago it ended, no matter how long it's been resting in peace, Hollywood will still dig it up, resurrect it, and reanimate the corpse like a Frankenstein monster. I don't want to reference a specific show here because I don't want to start an opinionated debate, but I can't count the number of times that a show has had a perfect ending, a satisfying and brilliant series finale, and then they drag it back and continue it, thus cheapening and ruining the ending, because now it's not the ending anymore. I hate when this happens. Moreover, I just hate how completely out of control every franchise is now. I'm talking about the exponential growth of content that's impossible to keep up with. It's nearly impossible to actually consume all of the content in a franchise in order and stay on top of it. If you want the complete story in a franchise, then it's not just a show. Oh no. It's a show, a few movies, a few spin-offs, a Netflix exclusive movie, a CBS All Access exclusive series, a Paramount+ exclusive mini-series, an Amazon Prime exclusive limited engagement series, a series of graphic novels and mangas, a series of webisodes, a youtube exclusive series of shorts. It f*cking never ends!!! Why can't anything, ever have a nice, definitive, final end? Why can't anything just be over? Why can't anything ever be left alone? I just want one thing to be a nice, neat, elegant, standalone series with a definitive finale, and then it's done. No reboots, no revivals, no streaming platform exclusive continuations, no webisode minisode bullsh*t. Just one show and it's over. Why.... can't.... anything... ever... just... ... END.

YES. Absolutely. That too.

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When background characters on tv and in movies don't pull the friggin' trigger when they should. Here's what I'm talking about--you've seen this type of thing so many times: it's a movie where a lone character or a small team is infiltrating some facility, or are otherwise on some sort of rampage, killing everyone in their path. This could be heroes or villains. Doesn't matter. Good guys and bad guys are equally at fault here. It could be a villain working their way through some building and murdering all the guards, or it could be the rebels running around through the Death Star killing stormtroopers. Either way. Doesn't matter. So, the primary pro/antagonists are working their way through the place, killing everyone, leaving piles of bodies in their wake, right? It's either good guys killing enemy forces, or villains killing cops and security guards. Then some more faceless guards or cops or whatever show up. They usually have their faces covered by some kind of masks or helmets, which don't really serve to protect them, but rather dehumanize them so that the audience doesn't care if they die. So, then the guards or cops or stormtroopers bust in and find the hero/villain in the room amidst a sea of bodies. Like, literally, the lone assailant is standing, ARMED, in the middle of a sea of bloody corpses, and what does the team of guards invariably do at this point? "You there. Stop right there. Hands up!" Uggghhhh.... Every time. You know that this deadly assailant(s) has been rampaging through the facility leaving bodies piled in their wake, and you just stand there and give them a chance to attack. Hands up. Pffft. Ugh. Why don't they ever shoot?!! Good guy or bad, they never just shoot! They always stand there and just give the opponent all the time they need to do a double backflip over their heads and chop 'em to pieces. The guards/cops/stormtroopers or whatever only pull the trigger when they know they'll miss because they know they can't risk taking out the main characters before the story is done. Just once I want to see the faceless guards just open fire the second they see the assailant(s). But that would be too practical for tv. You know what else grinds my gears? That's right, you're getting a toofer today! Two for the price of one! I hate it when characters are fighting to the death, and one of them gets a fight-ending blow on the other, but they don't actually kill 'em, and instead they just walk away and leave 'em be, and then the wounded one comes back for a sneak attack. So, like, one character will stab the other through the gut with their sword, but they're not actually dead, but the winner just leaves 'em, makes a stupid quip, zings 'em, then turns their back and leaves. And then what happens? The wounded party, who isn't dead, struggles back to their feet for a final attack! Why, WHY, WHY don't the winners ever just kill their opponent?!! Like, actually kill them! As in, make freaking sure they're dead! Once they get the winning blow, then chop their freaking head off! The worst is when the victor intentionally leaves the loser alive to "let 'em suffer", but then the loser, like I said, comes back for a final attack. Just f*cking kill them. Like, do they not have movies in these universes?? Like, have these warriors never seen a single movie?? Don't they know what happens when you leave your opponent alive??!! I just want to see one show or movie where everyone involved just shoots to kill on sight immediately, and everyone makes sure their opponent is DEAD.

Cool.

I just really wish that the money made sense. Meaning, I wish that the amount people got paid more or less reflected the amount of work they do, and the value of the work. I'm not against people getting rich in principle, and I'm also not saying that professional actors have it easy. It's a tough job. I'm just saying that the payment should be within the realm of sanity. Why does a waitress in a busy truck stop diner, or the trucker stopping at the diner, or, idk, a fucking crab boat crew member or something, make barely enough to survive despite working their ass off, and a tv star makes, like, fuckin' a million dollars and episode? We need to compensate people fairly is alls I'm sayin'.

Game of Thrones and Sopranos spoilers ahead. I wrote a comprehensive post about my feelings on the ending to Game of Thrones when it aired over on my main blog. Short summary--I liked it and thought that the intense level of hatred was unfair. But y'know what really grinds my gears? The hypocrisy of fans between Thrones and Sopranos. Before I go any further, I just wanna make one thing clear: this is just my silly rant blog, not to be taken too seriously. This is just my opinion, but I don't harbor any hatred towards anyone who has a different opinion over something so trivial as a tv show. So, Game of Thrones and The Sopranos are two of my favorite shows of all time. Both of 'em. I think they're both brilliant masterpieces, but neither is absolutely flawless. After the final season of Thrones, the whole world raged about how every storyline unraveled and everything sucked and was pointless and blah blah blah. It's continues to be a meme and go-to example of character arcs falling apart, going nowhere, and having zero payoff in the end. I think this is an unfair exaggeration, but I'm not here to write a thesis on Thrones. I want to point out the hypocrisy I've observed with regard to Sopranos. I never hear a bad word spoken about Sopranos. It is fondly remembered and held up on a pedestal as one of the greatest shows ever made (and rightly so, I might add). But I think people aren't being totally fair and objective, here. I think they're being unfair to Thrones and a little too generous to Sopranos. The latter isn't without flaws, either. I think people are looking at Sopranos with rose-tinted glasses, and Thrones with... um... sh*t tinted glasses, I guess? People rage about how Jamie or Dany or Arya or whoever didn't have a good ending to their arc or whatever, but what I want to point out is this: what about Carmela and Adriana? Christopher and Adriana were two of my favorite characters on Sopranos. Christopher was such a monster to her, but the two were just so fascinating to watch. I couldn't wait to see what would happen next with them. That was probably the stortyline I was excited about the most. I was really disappointed when Adriana died, and especially how she died. I personally wanted her to make it, to get some justice and revenge, and be okay in the end. I was really rooting for her. But still, I was able to live with her death. But what I never got over was the fact that Carmela never found out what happened to her. Carm and Adriana were basically best friends, and there was absolutely no payoff or resolution to that whole storyline. They teased that Carmela was going to find out. They built it up, set it up, and teased it repeatedly. For an entire season, Carm grew more and more suspicious and kept asking questions. She then pitches the idea of hiring a private investigator to track down Adriana. Tony then basically says, "Aw, you don't wanna do that," changes the subject, and then that's it. That was f*cking it. They never spoke of it again, Carm dropped the whole thing, and never found out. That was crushingly disappointing. In my opinion, Carm was supposed to find out the truth, and that would have been the last straw and resulted in some kind of massive showdown, possibly leading to her informing to the FBI, taking Tony down, then taking the kids and entering the witness protection program. That would have been a vastly different ending to the show, but I think it could have been great. However it would have played out, Carm was supposed to find out. There were so many emotional moments and so much solidarity between Carmela and Adriana, and so many times where Adriana wanted to tell Carm everything about informing to the FBI, and almost did. There was just so much story there, and absolutely no closure for Carm, and no resolution for that whole storyline. Great show, but I really hated that aspect, and found it incredibly disappointing. Why doesn't anybody complain about that? They rant and rave about all the Thrones characters, but where are these haters when it comes to Carmela and Adriana, huh?! I'm not suggesting that Sopranos is bad. It's a masterpiece. My aim was just to point out Thrones isn't as bad as you think, and Sopranos isn't completely flawless.

Lol. Yeah, I feel ya there. I mean, I love this show to pieces for reasons I'm not quite sure I understand, but it also leaves a lot to be desired. I adore the chemistry between them, and I love the waiting and hoping, but at the same time, it is kinda stupid. It's Mirickluless: the show where everything happens but absolutely nothing happens, ever. A whole season can go by and you think, "wow, a lot happened this season!" until you think for a second longer and go, "oh wait, no it didn't. Everything is literally exactly the same as in the pilot." Tons of stuff happens and nothing changes. That's their shtick. It's the complete antithesis of Last Airbender in that regard. And yet, even though I make no excuses for the show, I almost think that there's something I like about the ridiculousness of it all. It's like a guilty pleasure, I guess. Like, I know it's not actually good in many ways, but there's just something so appealing and addictive about it for me.