What Is It About You Makes You Feel Less Connected From Most Forum Members?

[KokuraiNoSenshi 3,463]

The fact that I have an Alicorn OC. Yeah, surprisingly just making a character is what kills my connection to the fandom the most. Which is odd, because you'd think a fandom so heavily criticized because they want to enjoy something would then turn around and bash it's own members just because one of them made a character that is traditionally "bad" without any desire to even try and see if it is good or not

[SCS 7,443]

I suppose for me it's mainly that everyone here seems really social whereas I am not very good when it comes to talking to people. I have been on these forums for over a year now, and although I really love this place, it is still very difficult for me to make posts. I tend to go for long stretches without ever saying anything, and although sometimes I'll have a few days when I force myself to post, I always tend to slip back into lurking.

 

I can relate to this. I have become more comfortable here over time, so I post a lot more now than I used to, but a year or two ago I didn't post very much at all. 

 

To this day, sometimes I want to go participate in a substantial discussion but I end up backing out because I'm feeling shy that day or I just don't have the energy. That's one of the reasons why I often end up in the Cloudsdale Colosseum forum sections: I can interact with people and have fun without having to share my more personal thoughts or expend a lot of energy to really write something out.

 

---

 

First and foremost, @CC_Maud_Pie I don't think you're uninteresting at all. I see you around here a fair amount and you always seemed like a pleasant and chill fellow. 

 

Now, something that makes me feel less connected... my musical interests would be one thing. I have a substantial interest in some extreme, fringe musical genres that most people don't share. I'm not one of those people who thinks my musical interests makes me better than anyone, I just think my interests are different. I'm proud of that in the sense that I'm proud of being who I am, as everyone should be proud of who they are. In the other sense it can be a bit lonely due to how difficult it is to find other people who appreciate things like brutal/technical death metal.

 

Another thing would probably be my spirituality. I'm not atheist or agnostic, but I don't really follow any particular religion either. My spiritual beliefs also fall in a bit of an outlying category. However, part of my spiritual beliefs is that we shouldn't be divided by religion: so at least to some extent I don't really feel very disconnected from people who believe differently than I do.

 

I guess the last thing would be that I'm not really as social as some people on here. I can often go for a week or more without posting a status update just because I can be pretty shy about it. I do talk to people in statuses, PMs, skype and so on but I also spend a lot of time just browsing around reading things.

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

I can relate to this. I have become more comfortable here over time, so I post a lot more now than I used to, but a year or two ago I didn't post very much at all. 

 

To this day, sometimes I want to go participate in a substantial discussion but I end up backing out because I'm feeling shy that day or I just don't have the energy. That's one of the reasons why I often end up in the Cloudsdale Colosseum forum sections: I can interact with people and have fun without having to share my more personal thoughts or expend a lot of energy to really write something out.

 

---

 

First and foremost, @CC_Maud_Pie I don't think you're uninteresting at all. I see you around here a fair amount and you always seemed like a pleasant and chill fellow. 

 

Now, something that makes me feel less connected... my musical interests would be one thing. I have a substantial interest in some extreme, fringe musical genres that most people don't share. I'm not one of those people who thinks my musical interests makes me better than anyone, I just think my interests are different. I'm proud of that in the sense that I'm proud of being who I am, as everyone should be proud of who they are. In the other sense it can be a bit lonely due to how difficult it is to find other people who appreciate things like brutal/technical death metal.

 

Another thing would probably be my spirituality. I'm not atheist or agnostic, but I don't really follow any particular religion either. My spiritual beliefs also fall in a bit of an outlying category. However, part of my spiritual beliefs is that we shouldn't be divided by religion: so at least to some extent I don't really feel very disconnected from people who believe differently than I do.

 

I guess the last thing would be that I'm not really as social as some people on here. I can often go for a week or more without posting a status update just because I can be pretty shy about it. I do talk to people in statuses, PMs, skype and so on but I also spend a lot of time just browsing around reading things.

Thanks! Appreciate it. Like I've mentioned earlier, it's my teenage mood swings that cause me to have feelings like this and they go away and come back like crazy.

[Odyssey 5,713]

The main reason why I feel less connected is that I try to be approachable, but I wait for others to talk to me instead. Plus, I'm more of a fan of Pokémon than I am with MLP:FiM.

 

I guess another reason why is because I see more fandom haters here than on any other website, or so I believe. It really makes me disappointed too, as in reality fandoms aren't always horrible.

[BayoUni2847 528]

I'm a very upbeat, cheerful person who looks at life in an optimistic way. Some members on the forum are very negative towards a lot of things and I feel I would possibly make things worse if I had a conversation with them.

 

Also I love making animations of any and every kind and it feels like no one has that type of interest.

[Discordian 6,013]

It all comes down to random factors that I couldn't really tell you. I don't get along with everyone and it's not always because we are or aren't into the same things. I just don't click with most people here to the point I can really get into a conversation.

 

I have no close friends on this forum because of that. I've found plenty of people I can have one or two good conversations with, of course, but no one that will likely become lasting friends with me after they or I leave.

 

I'm not against making friends but the few times I've gotten even a little close to someone we just kind of grew apart or were only really in-sync for one conversation.

 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make this a "woe is me" post. I'm just stating the facts. It could be me, it could be them, it could just be timing, but I feel generally disconnected from this community.

[u53rn4m3 69]

well I rarely post anything

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

Yeah, I'm not really into video games either. I don't have a steam account or a fancy gaming PC and the only console I have is a Wii.

I also don't play PC games. Why? Because of past experiences. I was once into Roller Coaster Tycoon 3, which slowed down and broke my computers a lot.

[~Chaos~ 3,966]

I have to agree with OP for one of them, I don't really have the drive for video games most do. I play some but only a few, so I can relate on that one.

 

My other at the moment is actually about MLP, I haven't watched the show for like a year and some, despite my avatar and sig I'm not as into the show as I once was right now, so that kind of makes me feel disconnected with people on here. Perhaps one day I will regain interest in it like I used to, but hey, doesn't mean I don't want to be here at all or anything like that. I always come back to this place because it was my first forum I actually stuck with and had lots of good times on, so I don't want to just leave it behind.

 

Anyways those are my thoughts on this subject.

[Banul 3,831]

Sometimes I see people having these really deep conversations. I feel like I want to contribute, but often cant figure out how I even feel about the subject or what to say.

 

 

 

I see a lot of in depth episode reviews here too, but I've never really liked heavy analysis. Its cool that people can take the show seriously, but I get the feeling that some people take it too seriously.

[Redstreak 45]

I don't know what to say. Since I'm still just a muffin and a member for less than a week I haven't really gotten a feel of the forum and other members so there's that. Plus I don't have a ponysona. I guess once I start navigating the site better I'll end up making more connections :3

[Discordian 6,013]

On the note of video games and relatability: I play a lot of video games but the ones I do play don't seem to be the type most play. Sometimes I feel like I'm one of the only real gamers on this (or most) sites due to the sheer variety of games I play as well as the time investment I put into it.

 

Forgive the elitism there but I'm quite proud of my life as a gamer. I put far more effort into it than a lot of people do. Most consider it just a hobby but for me it's a lifestyle. My entire life revolves around playing, talking about or making money to get more video games.

 

And of course that can be just as disconnecting as anything else. It's really no different from someone who only plays video games sometimes in that I can't talk on the same level as the vast majority of people on this site, even the ones that play a lot of games.

Sometimes I see people having these really deep conversations. I feel like I want to contribute, but often cant figure out how I even feel about the subject or what to say.

 

 

 

I see a lot of in depth episode reviews here too, but I've never really liked heavy analysis. Its cool that people can take the show seriously, but I get the feeling that some people take it too seriously.

That's what the brohoof system is for!

 

...But that doesn't generate much content.

 

"Hey you remember when I brohoofed that comment you made in 2011?"

 

"Hell yeah I do! What a great brohoof that was!"

 

...

 

...

 

[Toaster Bot 183]

Despite this going against the very message of the fandom, I feel that people on the site act far too kind. A lot of times it has an unnatural vibe to it, as when a lot of people act too nice, the box of hammers that is my brain tells me that something is amiss. So I end up becoming a lot more cynical when I visit the site, compared to what I would say is an optimistic nature elsewhere. So I end up isolating myself in this broken us vs. them mentality. So much for friendship being magic, I guess.

Also I don't like forum roleplay or OCs, even though I have one for that specific purpose.

EDIT: On top of that, I'd say the sheer size of the community makes it feel like there is no community, just an amorphous mass of threads and messages under a web domain.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Toaster Bot

[Cosmik Vek 764]

Well, firstly there is my musical taste that is really different from a lot of people here in the forums, I tend to listen to more obscure kind of metal music in opposite of some members that listens to more mainstream metal music.

 

Secondly, I tend to be a more passive member in these forums: I have rarely found myself interested in roleplays and fan stuff (except fan drawings) and I like to post on thread that I feel more comfortable to post in.

[ChikaChan 7,320]

The fact that I have an Alicorn OC. Yeah, surprisingly just making a character is what kills my connection to the fandom the most. Which is odd, because you'd think a fandom so heavily criticized because they want to enjoy something would then turn around and bash it's own members just because one of them made a character that is traditionally "bad" without any desire to even try and see if it is good or not

that's another reason I'm not stepping down and change my oc (she is a alicorn also) so bring it!!! I'm not going down without a fight!!!,she is my oc and I like it!!!

Edited February 6, 2015 by Princess_Moonlight

[Discordian 6,013]

Despite this going against the very message of the fandom, I feel that people on the site act far too kind. A lot of times it has an unnatural vibe to it, as when a lot of people act too nice, the box of hammers that is my brain tells me that something is amiss. So I end up becoming a lot more cynical when I visit the site, compared to what I would say is an optimistic nature elsewhere. So I end up isolating myself in this broken us vs. them mentality. So much for friendship being magic, I guess.

Also I don't like forum roleplay or OCs, even though I have one for that specific purpose.

EDIT: On top of that, I'd say the sheer size of the community makes it feel like there is no community, just an amorphous mass of threads and messages under a web domain.

This is how I feel as well. I tend to do better with smaller communities which is why I only ever frequent one section of the forums but even then there's not much community to be had. Maybe some cliquiness but that's about it.

 

And the kindness that the community totes feels very forced. The "love and tolerance" motto is total bullshit and I feel it's a form of subliminal peer pressure. Too many people try to change who they are to fit better with the community.

 

If love or tolerance isn't a part of who you are, don't be that way. You're better off being natural.

Well, firstly there is my musical taste that is really different from a lot of people here in the forums, I tend to listen to more obscure kind of metal music in opposite of some members that listens to more mainstream metal music.

 

Secondly, I tend to be a more passive member in these forums: I have rarely found myself interested in roleplays and fan stuff (except fan drawings) and I like to post on thread that I feel more comfortable to post in.

These days just being a fan of metal can really make you feel like an outcast. Everyone around you listens to everything but and what little they do listen to tends to be 70s and 80s stuff that stopped being good metal a decade ago.

 

I dunno if what I listen to would be considered obscure or mainstream but I know the feel. I've found one person ever who had the same taste in metal as me. <.< >.>

[Toaster Bot 183]

This is how I feel as well. I tend to do better with smaller communities which is why I only ever frequent one section of the forums but even then there's not much community to be had. Maybe some cliquiness but that's about it.

 

And the kindness that the community totes feels very forced. The "love and tolerance" motto is total bullshit and I feel it's a form of subliminal peer pressure. Too many people try to change who they are to fit better with the community.

 

If love or tolerance isn't a part of who you are, don't be that way. You're better off being natural.

I admit that Love and Tolerance is not a bad philosophy, but not if you see it as "be so kind and happy that your waste byproducts are at least 60% rainbow glitter", which it mostly seems to be. It's oddly alienating that way, at least in the way that it often ends up forming threads that are tens of pages, each repeating the same exact viewpoint. No actual discussion, nothing. I suppose I'd frequent smaller communities more if they didn't have a tendency to croak into a state of inactivity.

As it stands I'll stay here and pretend everything is alright.

[Discordian 6,013]

I admit that Love and Tolerance is not a bad philosophy, but not if you see it as "be so kind and happy that your waste byproducts are at least 60% rainbow glitter", which it mostly seems to be. It's oddly alienating that way, at least in the way that it often ends up forming threads that are tens of pages, each repeating the same exact viewpoint. No actual discussion, nothing. I suppose I'd frequent smaller communities more if they didn't have a tendency to croak into a state of inactivity.

As it stands I'll stay here and pretend everything is alright.

Oh it's definitely a good philosophy to live by but it's not something everyone can pull off with honesty. If you can't be honest with yourself about changes in your life than they aren't doing you a lot of good.

 

Fake sympathy is far worse than blatant apathy.

[TailsIsNotAlone 3,694]

Hmm...well, I don't like FIMfiction.net. That's the only thing I can think of. Don't get me wrong, I love writing and reading, especially MLP fics. I just don't like the site. On the technical side they've made great improvements (the filter actually works now xD), but I've had nothing but bad experiences trying to write for them myself, and the overall mood of the place is kind of weird and negative...not like this site at all.

 

And FIMfiction is undoubtedly the fanfiction place for bronies all over the world, so basically that's a whole segment of the fandom I don't feel connected to. It sucks.  -_-

 

Well...I suppose I'm just not that interesting of a person, I'm kinda just here.

Not at all! I think you are interesting.

[Discordian 6,013]

Fanfiction and roleplaying. Two of the most popular things in the MLP fandom. Two things I take no part in.

 

It really cuts down on how much of the forum is actually useful and how many people want to interact with you. I had a guy who just wanted to roleplay with me but I have no interest in it myself so I just stopped talking to him completely. I think he got the message.

[TailsIsNotAlone 3,694]

I admit that Love and Tolerance is not a bad philosophy, but not if you see it as "be so kind and happy that your waste byproducts are at least 60% rainbow glitter", which it mostly seems to be. It's oddly alienating that way, at least in the way that it often ends up forming threads that are tens of pages, each repeating the same exact viewpoint. No actual discussion, nothing. I suppose I'd frequent smaller communities more if they didn't have a tendency to croak into a state of inactivity. As it stands I'll stay here and pretend everything is alright.

 

You make good points Toaster Bot, but ultimately I think this site has the right idea about things. Before I joined here, I was on a different forum with just as many members (if not more) and all anyone ever did was argue. One of the things I learned from the experience was that "actual discussion" on a large Internet community, if even possible, is a very mixed blessing. Discussion in the name of honesty is also a good philosophy on paper, but on the screen the final product is just a lot of overwritten opinions bouncing off each other. I played that game for 7 years before I grew up a little and realized none of it had amounted to anything.

 

For me, MLPF strikes the perfect balance between group mentality and individuality. The sense of community and general optimism here, along with MLP itself being a cute show about ponies, is the reason I'm still in this fandom today.

[Pastel 7,627]

I don't know, there are many active members, it's hard to find something I don't share with most of them.

I don't RP, I don't have an OC, I don't have a waifu etc.....yes, but just like many other members.

[Not_active 731]

I don't have an OC yet, but soon I willl. All I know currently is what to name her/him.

[[NULL] 906]

I don't really like Season 1 that much. Season 2 is when the show started heading in the direction I initially hoped it would.

 

The cruel irony of it is that now that the show is better, the fandom has gotten worse. Instead of consisting of witty, open-minded, and collected people I was envious of even before I watched the show, the fandom deteriorated into a group of obsessive, needy and defensive fanboys, of which I'm ashamed to be associated with.

Edited February 5, 2015 by SpaceOnion

[Eternal Night 61]

For me I just think its because I'm not that hard core of a fan. I never really was to begin with, mlp is just one of my many interests. Plus, I'm rather shy and indirect with people who have shared interests with me, mlp especially since it seems like a lot of people just go nuts with this fandom. Which is okay by me, I'm just not into it like that. The only place I really show my interest near that level is with the rp section, though I'm just a sucker for roleplaying.

 

I also don't have a ponysona, nor do I ever plan on having on ever. My avatar is actually just kyon from the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya ponified. (A lot of people confuse this.)

 

I also just hate all the overly defensive fanboys that have seemed to have flocked over the years. The fandom really has gotten worse, we used to be an example of how a simple kid show could inspire a bunch of adults on 4chan to be kind and understanding. It was seriously an awesome thing to be apart of back then, now its rather degenerated to say the least.

 

I'm also just quiet in general unless you get me talking.

Edited February 5, 2015 by EternalNight