general Embarrassing/funny work stories

[iceestarz 5,752]

So here’s where we all share the awkwardness of work with a laugh. (Obviously don’t share sensitive information about the company/ whateveritis you work for. But you should already know that.)

anyways here it goes. I work at DollarTree as a part-time cashier. My job consists of checking people out, stocking when I have free time, blowing up our helium balloons when needed, and generally keeping the store looking decent. 

I cant tell you how many times I’ve completely embarrassed myself. I think I’ve knocked myself in the head with the damn baskets at least 10 times during the summer. I literally knocked myself in the head today with one. I was like oh my lord seriously lmao.

not only that but the awkward flirting of customers with me and THE DREADED AGE CONVERSATION. I can’t tell you how many times someone has commented on my appearance. They’ll be like “so when do you graduate high school?” And I’ll be like “uh. I’m a year from graduating college ma’am/sir” and they’ll just look at me and laugh. I’m like HAHAHAHAHA yes very funny.

anyways, that’s literally the highlights of my working life, aside from the obvious rude customers. I’d love to hear any work stories y’all have.  just be sure you comply with the policy that your place of business has when it comes to the things you share!

[Envy 6,000]

One of my very first shifts working at my last job, it was lunch break, so I put my meal in the microwave. The pop machines where just outside the break room, so I went to get one. When I came back inside, the microwave I chose had caught fire, but a coworker had gotten it under control. o.o

To make matters worse, that was our third microwave. There was never a third microwave ever again in my entire time of working there. We all had to deal with two for the entire nearly 4 and a half years I worked there. All because of me. >.<

[Lord Valtasar 12,685]

i shooed away an annoying guy on my first day at work once(he was just there looking and generaly being in the way),turns out he was my suppervisor who had come to see how i was doing(it was volunteering charity work though,so it didn't really matter)

[cuteycindyhoney 13,283]

I have a couple. The very first day on my very first job, I broke the coffee pot the very first thing after clocking in my very first time! I was so sure I would be fired that I started to cry. Everyone was nice about it, and told me it's okay because we had a coffee service that would replace it. Even I had to laugh when the next day, they replaced the broken glass pot with a STAINLESS STEEL one!

 

 

Once I went into a bosses office, and asked him if he had any inter office correspondence to send to the higher ups. That's what I MEANT to say. I went into his office, ans said "Do you have any intercourse?" I froze. I have a childhood stutter that comes back in times of stress. I literally lost the ability to speak! He was very nice about it and told me I could head out early for lunch. OMG! I was so embarrassed! (He was really good looking, too.) 

 

 

[Dreambiscuit 8,024]

I was visiting with an adorable little girl at my place of work (she was about 5 or maybe 6 years old) and she was having such an exciting day that she manifested it in a jet of white-hot vomit all over my dress. I often wonder how such a diminutive human being can carry such an impressive payload, but she must have had a hollow leg. After she jettisoned her lunch (and quite possibly breakfast) on me she got real quiet and upset and just on the verge of crying. Then her mother broke out laughing, which made me laugh (which was no easy task considering the smell) and the little girl felt better. It was awkward for a few moments but at least she left with a smile on her face. I had to run for a costume change, and believe me, you've never seen a girl change clothes faster! It wasn't the best moment at work, but it remains a matter of much mirth (for my co-workers) to this day. 

Edited August 2, 2018 by Dreambiscuit

[Cash In 21,517]

I did work at a warehouse as a part of a 5 day program. 

There was a weighing scale near where I was working, so I hopped on it to check my weight. I then started jumping off and on the scale, only to realise that people were watching me the whole time. Oops!

[iceestarz 5,752]

Yall’s stories have killed me lol.

[Divine plywood 1,232]

Let's see... I worked as a logger for one summer five years ago. I mostly worked inside of city area and cleaned roadsides, trimmed old trees and such. On time me and my co-workers were cutting down a rotten wood trunck near a old summer theathre. Everything was going according to our plan but we didn't notice a cable that was tied around one of the branches. When the tree crashed down, huge chunk of wall was dragged with it, pulled by said rope. Everyone stood there quietly for a while but when we finally looked each others we bursted into laughter. The building was been ordered to be demolished later on that same year anyways, so it wasn't that severe blunder. Though janitor that came storming out from the hole we had just made didn't took the situation as lightly as we

[Snow Frostflame 3,567]

Kinda hard to pick one story since my work knows me as the guy who does stupid shit for laughs and reactions. Like the time I made a tinfoil hat and wore it around, or the time I found a sombrero and sunglasses, but I have a story, and it was fairly recent. Our restaurant was having an inspection and as the prep cook I was tasked with cleaning out the salad cooler, which looked something like this. Anyways I hollowed out the inside removing all the shelves and food, and as I was climbing inside I realized I could fit my entire body in here... so I did. I closed the door behind me, and stuck my head up, peaking through the hatch. And as servers would pass by, I'd slightly open the hatch and stare them down. It scared the shit out of some of them, and others laughed. One of them even opened the hatch trying to get salad, and was surprised to find me in there. There was also a cook that was walking by and I just kept saying "psst [name]" he got confused until he opened the cooler, and broke down laughing. Probably one of my favorite work stories.

[TBD 17,228]

I was selling/advertising Peanut butter, but due to my accent I pronounced the word peanut as male's genital. So i just say 'nuts" instead..nevertheless, it's was a long painful 8 hours.

Edited August 20, 2018 by TBD

[zombienixon 330]

Oh, boy, do I have some good ones. I can probably come back to this thread several times as I remember more stories. Probably the best one happened on my first day there.  I was hired in the engineering department, but sent me out to the production floor for a couple of weeks for training, or as close to training as we had at the time.

Around lunch time, I started hearing people being called into the office. Next thing I know, almost half the department I'm in is gone, and I'm having to help run some of the machines. I found out later that, in his infinite wisdom, our former general manager had a surprise drug test done of the entire plant. Now, from my experience, most people working out on a shop floor, assembly line, warehouse, etc. smoke pot. Not usually at work, but they're definitely doing it. So in one day, we went from a full plant to a skeleton crew because most of the plant (about 80% of one department, and half of another) failed a drug test.  In fact, so many failed, we had to start bringing the people that failed back in. Only a couple actually got let go, because they were so high it was starting to cause problems.

Needless to say, I learned pretty quick what kind of company I was working for.  I mean, it beat being unemployed. I'm still working there, too. I just passed the 4 year mark late in May. 

I'll try and put up another one tomorrow. I just remembered it, and it is a good one.

 

[Rainbow Dash 1,471]

One time a coworker asked me to help a guy find some clothing in the mens department of this clothing store. Not really paying attention I walk up to a mannequin and go "Helloooooooo": then slowly turn to the guy standing ten feet away from it. Not only did my managers see, but so did my crush at the time. I tried playing it off as being quirky, but even the customer felt my pain.

[RyuHeart 7]

A couple of months ago I walked past my current store manager who was standing right around the corner to the double doors to the back room. I was wondering why he was standing there when he Saw me and said "I'm gonna try to get [insert name here]". My manager likes to sneak up on my coworkers and scare them.

 

This my not be a job story but it does involve a work like environment. Back when I was in my culanairy class my and one other student had to go get more fish fillets from our deep freeze. A's we were pulling the boxes we need I noticed right away the logo on the box had a Orca whale on it and that's when the gears started turning. We walked out into the hallway, it was empty but that didn't stop me from yelling out with my best Rodeny Dangerfield impression the words "Hey everybody! We're having Free Willy for dinner!”. The guy laughed and said that was perfect.

[Brony Number 42 9,932]

They guys at work wanted to know where I was going when I went to BronyCon. I told them it was comicon and I tried to avoid specifics. These are good old southern guys, and they already make fun of me for playing video games. 

At a previous job, I worked in the old field. And those guys knew I was a Brony. I even had a MLP sticker on my hard hat. But they were good about it.

[zombienixon 330]

1 hour ago, Totally Spicy BronyNumber 2A said:

They guys at work wanted to know where I was going when I went to BronyCon. I told them it was comicon and I tried to avoid specifics. These are good old southern guys, and they already make fun of me for playing video games. 

At a previous job, I worked in the old field. And those guys knew I was a Brony. I even had a MLP sticker on my hard hat. But they were good about it.

With my coworkers I couldn't even say it was a comic con. I just tell them I'm seeing some friends. 

[Lord Midnight Madness 1,542]

When I was a manager at this fast food place I told one guy he was being a condescending f**k and that he needed to leave. So he told me he needed to speak to the manager I said your speaking to him. He then proceeds to say that I'm to young to manage a store and that his food is cold. He was lying though so I told him I just had that made and if it was problem I could just make him a new one. He said no I want a refund and your corporate number, So I gave him his money and wrote down corporates number. He then had to keep on his crap and proceeded to say have fun losing your job. I then told him he was being a condescending f**k and I'm not losing my job over his dumb ass. I got a warning from my GM that was about it and the employee working with backed me up so I did get to keep my job lol.

[Sunlight Glisten 368]

So it's the end of the year and we are discussing quantum physics (As science teachers do) so I'm talking about the partial accelerator and I refer to it as the large hard-on collided. I'm dyslexic so hadron and hardon, you get it. So my coworker incessantly made penis and boner jokes. The thing is I had been teaching it that way to students for 3 years.  

[Venomous 18,813]

I was working at a veterinary clinic as a kennel attendant and I was drinking some water. The water went down the wrong pipe and I coughed it all up. I got water all over myself and the floor. The worst part was that everyone saw it.