Raskolnikov

I have one from falling down a stone/cement wall with iron wires on it as a toddler while trying to climb up to the upper level of our building, I think the inside of my lower arm got caught on the iron and left a mark I've had ever since. I'm very surprised as I don't remember it being extraordinarily painful as to leave such a mark, it just felt like an average child injury

You and me both, came here to complain about the exact same thing

DOPE! /late I haven't made my own patches yet but I do have a battle jacket that I've sewn stuff on! I also have a few band patches I want to get a separate jacket for. I don't normally wear my current one out unless I'm going to shows though, in which case I will go out with full on leather steel toe capped boots it can be time consuming to customise stuff but it does feel very rewarding. And there's lots of patches and pins out there for people who dunno how to make their own. It's ironic cos I'm a very shy person and hate the attention but I will also die if I have to conform, and it does get you compliments from people who do appreciate the style :]

The garden from the first childhood home I remember is something I still miss. My recollections of it have an otherworldly quality - I still remember freezing once as a toddler because I saw a stickbug and it FREAKED ME OUT plus the location was interesting in that it was built down on the side of an enbankment on a mountainous town so you had to walk down stairs to get to this two story building, the landlady lived on the top and then there was another set of stairs and we were at the bottom half of the building. So there were tall stone walls I'd climb and get on and explore the area as much as I could, and another neighbouring property was also abandoned and derelict (and still is!) so it was very overgrown, lush and pretty there... The landlady was cold but I really miss that house. The garden had quite a few trees as well and a small shed where I'd play with my dad's gardening tools hahah. It was always fairly shaded and almost enclosed down there from all the trees. We moved into another suburb of the capital that was even closer to the centre, and much more populated. I loved that location but we lost the garden and closer proximity to wider nature.

Left handed, and so is my archery bow ;P I play my instruments right handed though. I *have* wondered if tremolo on the guitar would be easier with my left hand.

I do now, was hard to get me to eat them as a kid before I could cook for myself lol. It really depends how you prepare them. I will still never trust onions even if I use small amounts of them. Too much and I can't eat a dish

Having living grandparents. Living close to my sister's side of the family.

Individual or group fundraisers, grassroots initiatives, *some* NGOs (I'm veeery selective about donating to those and which ones, I've regretted and withdrawn a membership before >_>").

Wind. Wind is the enemy. The source of sneaky hate spirals. STOP BLOWING THINGS AROUND IN THE KITCHEN.

One by The Birthday Massacre. I really like how dreamy their instrumentation tends to be.

I wish there wasn't. There are better alternatives, why does everyone always default to the most generic option? :|

You know, I had something kinda similar happen with mine. One day she came to my room to ask me if her accent is "that bad" (she's an immigrant), and I told her no... to me she just sounds like my mum, it never even occured to me that she sounds different (though I guess she does, but it doesn't stick out to me). She speaks very fluently despite having had no support or help. I'm guessing because of the massive xenophobia and stereotypes around Poles in most of Europe she (understandably) feels insecure... but it was jarring as hell to have her come into my room genuinely worried because she normally never expresses vulnerable emotions and is very abusive. These kinda people are ridiiiiiculously insecure deep down. I need to respond to my sister's mum to wish her a happy July, I suck at replying and considering she lives alone now I end up feeling very guilty and the guilt makes me procrastinate more and feel ashamed in a terrible feedback loop. >_<"

Love this post, especially considering the chemical imbalance theory of depression has been recently debunked. I largely don't like psych labels because of what you described, though they can be sometimes helpful in specific contexts. Calling neurodivergencies or responses to adverse life experiences 'disordered' sounds ridiculously pathologising and IMO only muddies the waters and decontextualises the reasons someone is feeling or acting a certain way. Many many times our even extreme responses, moods and behaviours are understandable rather than 'disordered' once environmental or historical context is reintroduced into the equation. (And as you said this does NOT mean that people are "faking" their distress! Their suffering is VERY much real!) Anyway those are my two cents. The topic is of large interest to me. I struggle with complex trauma and uh a lot of my shit stems from all of that >_>''

"I painted my heart black, just to cover the darker shades Framed by tears so thick from ashes, oil and blood Winter solstice night, but in my soul the dark won't step aside Increased with these long stretched hours, from seconds to years Until years become centuries! Lonely silhouettes moving on the wall like wounded birds With their crooked black claws, dancing around my throat Wounded in the hands of winter, I froze to death for her Outcast from her embrace, I bled to death for her But I shall return I will haunt her in her dreams. I rise like a morning star, strike down the holy ones Who betrayed their hearts for the crown that melted over their eyes! I shine like the North Star and blind their weak eyes Fill them with my sorrow and curse them in my arms! You threw me down the throat of hell, Tied my hands and burned me with your tongue Drowned me in the nothingness, Into the abyss of your poison well! Lonely silhouettes moving on the wall like wounded birds With their crooked black claws, dancing around my throat Wounded in the hands of winter, I froze to death for her But I shall return and sing you back to sleep I rise like a morning star, strike down the holy ones Who betrayed their hearts for the crown that melted over their eyes! I shine like the North Star and blind their weak eyes Fill them with my sorrow and curse them in my arms."

I feel like a time bomb a ticking ticking ticking time bomb a time bomb a ticking ticking ticking time bomb!

Standards. Use them or lose 'em

I may have a MASSIVE problem

Just like how Americans only exist on the 4th of July

April Ethereal (Abbey Road Remaster) - Opeth

I CAN CONTACT MY VIOLIN TUTOR AND START LESSONS AGAIN!!!! Oh recent purchases, I got a tick repellent kit for the outdoors. Nature has its place and it's not on my bare skin.

They're both horrible here. Most seasons are. Where I grew up summers are not livable while winters are fine, in my other home the winters are deadlier but the summers are just fine.

The mango flavour Monster is my best friend. Yes please give me the stimulant juice I need to feel alive. That said I don't buy them often, generally I may have them when out in the summer heat because coffee is too hot to bear in those temps. And I'm not super keen on other flavours.

Wasn't feeling great so I went out for a walk by the seafront and sat on a bench, it wasn't *really* helping and I didn't feel all that present... then two old ladies and their small dog came over and we had a chat even though I didn't know them, they got concerned for me when I mentioned missing home a lot and were really nice about my fluency and job when I sounded somewhat diminished about it... they didn't even know me and still treated me like a friend and it actually really brightened up my mood, I couldn't really feel bad after that These old ladies when they die:

I don't understand why anyone goes on holidays during the summer unless they're trying to escape to a colder country. This is the worst fucking season.