Hugs

[dead 186]

Why is it ok for girl and man to hug, girl and girl to hug, but if a guy hugs a guy you get a weird look?

I just want to know why it is so weird (it's really not weird).

 

Also if anyone wants a hug, you get hugs from me

[A Black Circle 1,585]

I hug anyone and everyone.

 

Ever.

[IcyHaze 593]

Because society thinks that men aren't emotional with other men, and also thinks that it makes them look gay - and many men fear that, due to the social stigma that is attached. In the future, I imagine all that will change for the better

[Mothra 547]

I had a friend at one point from a foreign country (Don't remember where specifically, my bad) but he where he comes from, a hug was just their version of shaking hands as a "goodbye" more than anything, and over here in the UK in recent years, many people do that exact thing to say goodbye, including a close few friends I have. As for hugging in general, I don't see why it should be considered as something 'gay,' not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Mothra

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,298]

Were it not for my condition, I don't believe I'd have any qualms about hugging another male; specifically my brother, cousin, or friends.

[SpiderDiscord 145]

The whole gender and orientation separation biases of this society are embarrassing
Do what makes you happy, hun!
as long as you aren't hurting anyone (without continuous consent of course)

 

I kinda feel bad for those people at times
Personally I know how stressful feeling angry/annoyed almost all the time feels...not fun

 

but yeah man
hug who you want as long as they are ok with one!

-hugs you-

[Venomous 18,819]

I love hugs regardless of what gener gives them to me

[Little Red 1,529]

Because men developed today's society and men like seeing two girls going at it.

...that's a joke. I like to try and turn everything into some bitter "I hate patriarchy" thing.

[Sheheuwi9sidufud7eiwkn3 75]

Hmmm. I find that odd.

 

It might just be where I live, but here guys hug other guys and no one gives them odd looks or anything. Of course, we have our fair share of gay people and all that and there's nothing wrong with that (yes I'm catholic and have no problem with gay people), but I think people are just less stereotypical here. Ushually I see guys hugging other guys as a sign of friendship (or sometimes they're just joking). But whatever the case I don't notice people really caring.

[SpiderDiscord 145]

Because men developed today's society and men like seeing two girls going at it.

...that's a joke. I like to try and turn everything into some bitter "I hate patriarchy" thing.

I'm confused by this

those have nothing to do with this subject

altho they patriarchy does have some to do with this

Masculinity is fragile in this society because of it

Hugging a guy is seen as a disgrace because it resembles gay

now think about that for a second

If a hug resembles a relationship or flirting to society as a whole

...

Being gay for a male shatters your masculinity title in society almost instantly (even if you fit the bill in every other way) 

Since being a gay male is seen a feminine

and we all know girls are used as jokes all the time

"you throw like a girl" "you'll get over it, you're just on your period" etc

 

So I really do not see the humor in your statement

The patriarchy harms every single person who breaks the "norm"

for any gender

why wouldn't you be disgusted by it?

[Little Red 1,529]

I'm confused by this

those have nothing to do with this subject

altho they patriarchy does have some to do with this

Masculinity is fragile in this society because of it

Hugging a guy is seen as a disgrace because it resembles gay

now think about that for a second

If a hug resembles a relationship or flirting to society as a whole

...

Being gay for a male shatters your masculinity title in society almost instantly (even if you fit the bill in every other way) 

Since being a gay male is seen a feminine

and we all know girls are used as jokes all the time

"you throw like a girl" "you'll get over it, you're just on your period" etc

 

So I really do not see the humor in your statement

The patriarchy harms every single person who breaks the "norm"

for any gender

why wouldn't you be disgusted by it?

Wait. No, I'm saying I hate patriarchal ideas and concepts.

Now I'm confused too. 3:

[SpiderDiscord 145]

Wait. No, I'm saying I hate patriarchal ideas and concepts.

Now I'm confused too. 3:

me too... ah well

may have been my dyslexia or the way it was worded

-shrugs-

yeah I was like...what? but...that's the whole reason why guys hugging is a problem?

haha

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

I hug every friend of mine. whether it's a woman, a guy, a gay guy (yes i'm straight)... Hell with one of my friend since we're both strong we have chicken fights with bear hugs lol. We will squeeze the snot out of each other until one surrenders

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

Well, these norms and conventions are being questioned and scrutinized which in my book is a good thing. Many nuances in tradition are very old and thus reflect norms and values that have lost meaning in the new world. Even better is this growing consensus I'm seeing about male conventions and stereotypes being increasingly seen as more trouble than they're worth.

 

Anyway, gender biases aside, I don't know much about chakras but I would prefer to hug and be hugged from a point of authenticity (mutual authenticity, that is). Much more fulfilling and warm X3

[Love//Hack 819]

Usually it's viewed as strange to most of society because it seems queer for two guys to hug each other to them.

Usually society think of many males to be less emotional than girls. I'm female, but I call bull on that.

Regardless of gender, both guys or males and girls or females can both feel the same emotions. Our emotions make us human regardless of gender. Just because someone is a he, doesn't mean he can't feel normal emotions such as sadness, blissfulness, or even awkwardness and that doesn't mean they can't express them the same way females can. He's not a different species from a girl, so he can feel the same feelings as she can.

If a hug feels good to them and the best way to express their enjoyment, let them have their warm hugs. It's just hugging and hugging is normal for many people. If two guys hug, it doesn't automatically or fully mean or is a sign that they're gay for each other. If it's a father with a son, no one says anything. If it's two boys the same age, people will consider them not only gay but also a softie and pretty weak. Hugging your friends doesn't make you weak. And hugging your friends, regardless of gender, doesn't mean you're showing any romantic affection automatically.

 

It's seen as a sin for men because to some people. But how does a hug mean any romantic affection? It's like saying a guy standing next to some random other dude or random chick and everyone assumes they've engaged or something. It feels like the same thing.

Hugs make you seem weak to some people if you're a guy because hugs are viewed feminine as females tend to do it more in public with their BFFs or such. It's also the same thing as "YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!" much like how @SpiderDiscord said how often being feminine potrays you of being weak. Many females and girls are pretty strong and but viewed to be the weaklings you cannot defend themselves.

 

Many men want to set the example that they're strong-willed and bold. Many don't wish to express their emotions which is perfectly fine and healthy, especially for their mental health and with any stress they get. They want to be viewed cold and hard like rock since most girls and other guys think they're cool or admire that. Many want to be viewed like other males due to peer pressure mostly. Usually because of stereotypes. And that the girls can express themselves and do whatever is considered "natural" for girls to do or experience like it's a period or whatever. (I hadn't even had my period yet and I facepalm so hard like through my skull as it feels whenever someone treats emotional boys like they're having one.)

 

It's considered a girl's thing to do stuff like cry in front of a crowd or cower down in fear. Or to hug their friends to express blissfulness. Yet for boys, it's a completely different story. I've always loathed and hated Boys VS Girls related stuff. I would ask the teacher if I could not take part in it unless it looked like fun and explain to them that they're both human. Even when I was a 5 year old girl.

Edited May 27, 2015 by GoldKingdomFright

[Happy Spark is King 331]

Im so glad i found this thread. I was so pissed off when my friend refused to give me a hug with his explination being, "no im not gay" i look at like what the fuck dude, seriously. He is no longer my freind and wont ever feel the warmth amd greatness plus rainbows that are my mystical hugs

Edited May 27, 2015 by Starlight Is Queen

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

Think about it this way: The last couple of generations that brought on this toxic won't be making us think like that for much longer. A bit dark, but yeah.

[CheeryFox 23,811]

It actually depends on the person and how close they are to you. I won't hug just anyone irl - (unless that person would need one). (BTW, I'm only denoting males here.) It seems weird to those who're not used to that sort of thing. But it should not bother you too much. And if somepony were to randomly hug you, well then...you know that Pony was raised right. 

[gyxile 38]

Everyone need hugs, when they are happy or sad. A hug tells u that someone is there for you in your times of need and that even though it wont make the pain go away you have someone to console you.

 

I hate the whole gender thing as well. i hug anyone who needs one.

[JonasDarkmane 19,777]

I guess some just find it weird. I don't mind hugging another guy. 

 

*Hugs* 

[Justin_Case001 4,860]

The answer to original question is the same as the answer for why it was ever considered weird for men to watch mlp.  I'd estimate that about half of the threads on this whole freakin forum exist because of this very problem.  It's society's unfair double standard--the long ingrained mindset that it's much more socially acceptable for women to challenge their gender roles than men.  Women can be feminine or masculine or any combination, but men can only be masculine.  Men aren't suppose to be sensitive, have feelings, and certainly aren't suppose to be feminine or like feminine things.  And feelings are, in the mind of society, a feminine thing.

 

It's like that line in comedian John Lajoie's satirical song: "No, I don't have feelings, cuz feelings are gay.  Something, something in the month of May."  He, of course, was poking fun at this asinine idea.

 

This ridiculous double standard is changing, but not fast enough.

[LittleMac 3,084]

Men don't hug because society basically makes it out to be 'gay'

I wish I could hug someone without them thinking it's weird

[Pastel 7,627]

One of the countless "why it's ok for girls and not for boys" questions.

It's freaking stupid :| I wish men could hug too without looking or feeling awkward.

[Art Thief 215]

I hug a guy like it don't mean nothin', then turn around and start hugin' his cousin. Seriously though men hug other men all the time, dude.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Art Thief

[dead 186]

I want to hug my friends but they're some of the people who find it weird, but I officially give an internet hug to everpony on this thread!