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general Do you consider your family as friends?


Member Berry

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I barely like to even call them "family", let alone friends lol

 

A friend is someone I can trust, someone I tell everything to. Family is just who you were born to. Doesn't mean anything to me  :twi:

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I can be a bit biased because I've always been raised in an Asian family, and it doesn't take much to know how Asian culture (and sometimes religion) values family very heavily. It doesn't matter if you're Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Japanese, Malaysian, or Indian...they all share somewhat similar family values.

 

Family is placed on a tier much higher than friends for me. You're mostly connected to them, one way or another, no matter, so you should place insurmountable value on them (this is also why divorces are so discouraged in a few countries like Japan or Korea; sometimes it is even seen as dishonorable) . Most friends are temporary; family stays for your whole life. And a family should protect and help you with problems when you have them. Really traditional Asian families will enforce collectivism, self-control, and respect to higher family authorities, though in the last two decades those ideas have mostly been loosened (though some countries like Japan and Singapore still cling tightly to it).

 

Asian culture is so alien to us that reading a bit of manga or watching fictional Chinese films aren't going to cut it. It'll probably seem a bit outlandish to Europeans and Americans that some Asians do enforce corporal punishment (especially in poorer countries or rural areas) and promote and place stress on their children (again, cultural influences and personal backgrounds).

 

Now that I've said that, I really do love my close family. Extended family is a bit more unclear, though I tend to interact a lot more with the extended family on my mother's side than my father's (who I don't see that much besides my uncle and his own family). We don't necessarily agree on everything, but we are certainly willing to defend each other for it.

 

My younger brother can be a bit annoying at times and from the outside, he looks like a stereotypical ignorant teenager, but in reality he is astute and puts in a lot of effort onto everything (he's even an A-B student with several honors classes). We don't really have the same interests, but we don't hesitate to help each other (though we do butt heads at times) when we need it. Initially I have always antagonized him, but afterwards we both matured and decide to drop off the hate. It's what siblings should do.

 

And I'm glad both of my parents are willing to balance out Asian values with Western ones. They're not ultra-protective, grade-pressuring, piss attitude parents, they actually try to help my brother and me when we have issues and know that academics aren't everything and over-protection is getting us nowhere. We're willing to break some Asian traditions out of pragmatism and do what's best for the whole family.

 

People who have fractured or lost families, I genuinely pity; broken families is something no one should put up with and it's a good disconnect from obtaining a direct path to happiness. Family shouldn't be seen as enemies; if anything I hope they all stay together.

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My family is really important to me but I've always considered friends and family different things. So while I feel like my family members are close to me, they still aren't exactly like friends.

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Me and my mom are friends as I've gotten older and so is my young sister one of my best friends and older sister also!  

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Oh yeah. My brothers and I often talk at great length, hang out, enjoy each other's company, like a lot of the same things, etc. My Mom and I have gotten closer actually as I've gotten a bit more into my studies that coincided with her own education and my Dad and I have always been very close in how we talk. Well he talks, I listen. X)

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Kind of. For example, my mother is one of my best friends in the world. She might frustrate me and even make me angry sometimes, but I love her and always will. As for the rest of my family, I love them, but don't consider them friends. I rarely see them since they're always either working or holed up in their rooms. My extended family, I see them as something far, far away from the term "friend". They're horrible and once I move out of my parent's home, I'll probably never see or speak to them again. They're the worst type of human beings there are.

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It really depends on the family member, I think. There are some family members that I consider friends; my grandma is my best friend in the world, my two younger cousins are my favorite people on the planet, but that's pretty much it. I think the difference is that you choose your friends. You get to decide whether or not they're in your life and that's why friends are so important. You're pretty much stuck with your family. My grandma used to tell me that you have to love your family, but you don't have to like them. And I always thought that was really interesting. The members you consider friends are the ones that you choose to like and surround yourself with. 

 

I don't know...I feel like I'm blabbering. 

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My father is basically my best friend, so is my aunt (his sister).

 

My mom and sister, kind of but not really? They can be annoying a lot of the time, not many things in common, but we still do things for each other and we're family of course.

 

...however, some family members make me question how the heck I can be related to them at all. It's even a bit scary that I share some of my genes with them. lol

 

Most of my cousins and some of my other family member have virtually become strangers to me in recent years; too much time apart, our lives and views just diverge too much.

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Well , my mum has disowned me for being trans, my aunt has pretty much come out to say that trans people just want to go into the "wrong bathroom" to prey on children.  My dad's side is religious so I'm pretty much counting on them rejecting me, I don't know, I have yet to find out.  So I pretty much don't consider family members to be friends, I do consider some friends family though.

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Well , my mum has disowned me for being trans, my aunt has pretty much come out to say that trans people just want to go into the "wrong bathroom" to prey on children. My dad's side is religious so I'm pretty much counting on them rejecting me, I don't know, I have yet to find out. So I pretty much don't consider family members to be friends, I do consider some friends family though.

thats a sad irony. sorry to hear about that
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  • 5 months later...

I never have before, but at the moment yes.

I've never been close to my family, the closest I was was with my Dad who passed away a couple of years ago. It didn't bring our family any closer in my opinion, and at times pushed us further apart.

But in the last two months since moving to Dubai I have come to rely on my mum as a friend. She's the only person who skypes me, and she messages me most days if not every other. She's looking after my cat for me until I can have her flew over here and has booked flights to come and see me in a month as I was having such a hard time out here.

I have never before relied on her but things got so bad and she was one of the only people aksing and talking to me. It's hard as I struggle with that kind of relationship with her and worry she'll somehow use it to twist against me but I hope not.

 

I have two brothers, I've heard from them both once since I moved which was on my birthday, and my brother happened to be there when my mum skyped me once, but we don't talk really at all.

It's hard listening to all the other people who skype and whatsapp their sisters daily and can't wait to get home and spend Christmas with them when I feel very alone. I'm also not going home for Christmas as I don't feel I have much to go for, and I think it would mess me up more emotionally.

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I consider my parents to be my friends despite getting into some heated arguments with them every once in a while. I'm getting closer to feeling the same way towards my older brother, but my older sister I see more as a family member than a friend.

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I'd consider my siblings my friends. But my parents? Absolutely not. When you have to get a protective order against your own mother, you know you're beyond the point of forgiveness and friendship.

 

Other than that, I generally have a really difficult time opening up and conversing with anyone significantly older than me. So the rest of my family, I'd probably consider acquaintances, as much as I'd like to eventually become buddies with.

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Nope. Most of my family is deceased.

 

So with what is left, at best we are distant acquaintances. Usually I am only contacted if someone wants something.

 

Kind of sucks at times, especially holidays, But I have learned to live with it.

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I don't consider someone family unless they've been there for me a lot and actually care about my existence. Parts of my family do not care about mine, or simply just value me because I just so happen to be apart of their bloodline. Basically, I think family can extend to those outside of your bloodline and I can't be arsed to call some parts of my genetic family, well, family. 

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