How far would you go to be a trillionaire in Equestria?

[KillerKingBakudan 702]

A very rich and powerful unicorn just passed away. But the day before he died, he revealed the location of his fortune in every major newspaper. There is said to be a trillion in gold bits hidden in a grotto, in one of the far corners of Equestria. And a spell has been cast on the gold that ensures the first one to come in contact with it WILL be its rightful owner. In other words, if you find it first, any other creature that touches it will be automatically stunned unless you specifically decide to share it with them. If someone else finds it before you, the gold will become as valuable to you as Kryptonite is to Superman.

The rich unicorn even printed a map. Now all the ponies in Equestria are racing to get to the treasure, and possibly griffons, hippogriffs and other creatures. Your odds at beating them all to it are extremely slim. No train's available because it's been stolen by the conductor. All the boats and hot air balloons have been taken. No stallion is willing to pull you there by wagon. And potions have even been brewed to make non-pegasus ponies fly and move as quickly as Rainbow Dash, though not with proper navigating skills. You could try to outsmart them all, but by the time you figure something out, someone could already be halfway to the grotto.

One alternative is to make a deal with Discord. He'll agree to snap his fingers and teleport you to the grotto immediately, but only on the condition that he puts a curse on you so you give him 99% of it. If you don't give it up, his curse will guarantee that you never get to spend a single bit. But if you agree to just keep the remaining 1%, you'll still have at least 10 billion's worth of the gold. Just not the whole trillion.

But then you do some digging at the Canterlot library and discover yet another alternative; a secret amulet contained within the rich unicorn's autobiography. You discover that this amulet was used by the unicorn to open a portal between his mansion and the treasure's exact spot whenever he needed to. But here's the catch: the amulet is activated by dropping it into a whirlpool. The old unicorn had to travel to one out at sea to use it. But because you just took it into a bathroom that's out of order to keep any ponies from noticing, your closest water source is a toilet. Which doesn't look like it's been cleaned in a very long time. The sink doesn't seem to be working, so you'll have to flush yourself down the shitty toilet in order to create the whirlpool needed for the amulet to transport you. It'll be disgusting as hell, but doing this will guarantee that you're placed ON TOP of the treasure long before anyone else can get to it.

What option do you take? Do you try to come up with some method to beat the rest of the populace the hard way? Do you make the deal with Discord and keep only a small fraction of the gold? Or do you take the easiest route by toilet and claim it all?

[Props Valroa 26,046]

I would put on a diving suit, and plug my nose either way. Then flush myself down the toilet so I can be ontop. A trillion dollars is worth more than one shitty experience, am I right?

[The Recherche 29,965]

10,000,000,000 is still a dozen truckloads of money. I think I'll go accept the bargain with Discord. 

[HellsWriter 100]

Deal with discord. I rather that then getting toilet part.

[The Kaeya Simp 13,968]

I wouldn't want to be a trillionare!

That's too much money!

[SharpWit 2,472]

I'm going down the toilet. That's a very small price to pay to get that money before somepony else does and disrupts the entire economy with poor spending choices. If you replaced bits with dollars, you'd take 16th or 17th place among the world's GDPs by country. That's a really, really big chunk of change. I'd probably loan most of it to the government at a low interest rate in exchange for input into certain programs and legislation and to keep them off my back when it comes to taxes,,, crap I just became a very corrupted individual didn't I? Good intentions or not, that was quick

Ok, maybe run for a seat within the government, that way it's just my hands in my pockets, and I'm generously funding my own projects. The Storm King might have had a fleet of airships, but no one would dare invade equestria once I've had a super armored zeppelin carrier mounted with recoilless guns and rockets constructed!!!

[EpicEnergy 22,082]

I wouldn't go far at all, not only do I not care but also I would probably fail at getting that many bits.

[Splashee 28,537]

Money, magic, fame, friendship.... It looks like there are many ways to have a great time in Equestria. But money is the last thing I need. I want to be a Princess so I can live forever!

[HedonismBot 218]

Plug my nose, hold my breath, and take the Toilet Express. I don't know what Discord would need all that money for, but I'm not sure I want to find out.

 

On 10/14/2020 at 8:02 PM, Splashee said:

Money, magic, fame, friendship.... It looks like there are many ways to have a great time in Equestria. But money is the last thing I need. I want to be a Princess so I can live forever!

First you'd have to find some solution to actually become a princess. "The Crystaling" established that the alicorn upgrade is generally a cosmic reward for preforming some "princess-worthy task". I wonder if philanthropy on that scale would qualify?

If not, I suppose you could fund research into transformation magic or something.

[Props Valroa 26,046]

My answer is still the same. 10 trillion is worth it. I'd put on my diving suit and flush away!

[Justin_Case001 4,857]

Wow.  You, uh... really put a lot of thought into this. 

Well... I guess I'll take the plunge to get the full trillion... but get read for the twist: I'd give it all away to those who need it more, such as the run-down and impoverished Griffonstone.  After all, in the real world, we need money to fill the void left by the lack of friendship, but in Equestria where friendship is magic, no such void exists, so I'd have no use for that much money.

[Clawdeen 12,110]

 I’ll fight everybody else to get there on my own. My odds of making it there before everyone else are slim but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love a good challenge and it makes it even more rewarding when you come out on top. Even if I come out last I still feel like a winner because I know I gave it my all.
 

I’m not making risky deals with discord or flushing myself down a toilet. 

[Steve Piranha 28,782]

Won’t even bother. What would I do with that money anyway ?

[The Kaeya Simp 13,968]

Quite frankly couldn't give a fuck haha

[North Star 4,540]

I would deep-clean the toilet and get the fortune. With the fortune I would buy one of those blimps the ponies are always riding and cruise around Equestria with my pilot - Plotbow Dasheyes 

 

 

[BornAgainBrony 2,395]

It's Equestria. Being rich beyond sin isn't a bare minimum for being above poverty like it is on Earth. I'd just get in the race for the fun of it. As for the toilet... there are people who crawl around muck in the sewers, clearing up turd clogs, as their daily job. I think I can handle one dive into the toilet. Or good grief, how about just dropping some cleaning solution in there first?