Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[TechnoZ 1,156]

"IM GONNA FIGHT THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!"

[Lawyer Slip 2,296]

"Why is it, that the only cars, that ever seen to be available in an apocalypse are stick shift?"

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

"WHERE DID YOU LEARN A FUCKING KNEEBAR?!?!"

[Samurai Equine 48,686]

It's been a few hours. The glue should have cured by now.  (It falls apart anyway)

[Silly Druid 6,461]

"Her full name is Marbellise Delilah Quartzabelle von Pumpernickelingtonsworthshire III, Esq., the Fourth, Duchess of Stone-Upon-Twee, Keeper of the Sacred Cast Iron Spatula, Grand Poobah of Pebbles, and Supreme Custodian of the Holder’s Boulder Pie."

[Lawyer Slip 2,296]

"Why is only half of my school never properly heated?" -Me

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"£32!!! To put an innertube and a tyre back on a wheel.

"Will not use the services of this Company again. I was recommended to use them but after being gouged on pricing never again."

Response from the owner
"Brand new faulty wheel you had on a Internet motorcycle purchase, waited 11 days to have replacement wheel sent still came with a damaged tube as quoted by you to us & we supplied a heavy duty tube & rim tape same day service, take the VAT out, £26!!!  & you was told the price before we did repair, so you had a choice to take it away. OR, is it the fact I wouldn't  sign up to your credit card machine contract you have been pestering me for months? I think so!!!!!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

 "So essentially a mixture of hunting club, breastfeeding group and suicide cult."

Evolution rocks.

[Samurai Equine 48,686]

 Well they have it all secured together, but maybe if I can just open this one glove... (The whole thing falls apart) 

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"What the heck is, 'spotted dick'? Well apparently it's a food, and it's edible!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

"What do you want to be in the future?"

"I want to be loved." 

 "Cool! I wanna be a fish!" 

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"Alright but no tongues! I don't know where it's been ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

"What a shitty time to get back into power metal. Fuck me."

[Ragland Tiger 3,317]

"I've been thinking about shaving my head myself.  Tell me, when it rains, is it loud?"

Edited May 19 by Ragland Tiger

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

 "50 milligrams of caffeine, mixed with Gypsy tears." 

[CH11P 18]

"Are you ok?"

"No"

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"But the fat lady doesn't sing until all the data is in ..."

 

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"They're coming home - especially when their destination is Tory's trousers."

 

[Totally Nyx 35,821]

"Ha! Take that, past me!"

[Denim&Venöm 17,571]

"Aren't you tried of going apeshit? Don't you just wanna be nice?" 

"Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?"

[Samurai Equine 48,686]

 That better not be chocolate.

[Evil Pink One 13,500]

That better be strawberry milk

[Lawyer Slip 2,296]

 "The anticipation is killing me! No seriously, while I was waiting, they started slowly dipping me into lava. I guess I'm just too hot for them."

 " . . . "

 "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE."

 "That's so fire."

 " . . . "

"Ow"

[Tropical Melody 5,534]

"Reminds me of a pair of motorcycle boots I bought from a (then) prominent supplier of leather bike clothing. This was before electric starters existed. The sole broke up after a few months. Took them back, 'You've been using them to kickstart a bike haven't you?'"

 

[Tao 7,167]

WHY IS THE HUMAN BODY FULL SO MUCH SAD!?