What is your opinion on gender neutral parenting?

[Feather Scribbles 194]

What is your opinion on gender neutral parenting? Should the idea that dresses (as an example) are for girls and that guns (as an example) are for boys remain intact, or should they be abolished?

[SkyDive 269]

Quite personally, I believe that gender stereotypes shouldn't exist at all and parenting shouldn't be based on such things either. I'll leave it at that so as not to get into any debates with anyone else. Those are my personal beliefs and I'm not trying to force them on anyone.

[ElectricityBill 121]

No way. Boys should be boys and girls should be girls. They would uh... change their gender if they would need after growing up

Edited June 4, 2018 by YourElectricityBill

[Libra 11,691]

It's their child, if they choose to let boys wear dresses and girls have action figures or vice versa its their decision (that and the chils)

As long as child protective services dont get involved, how they raise a child is none of my business.

[Guest]

The problem with blurring the lines with gender neutrality is that there will be no significance to either gender when nothing is partial to either. A person with gender dysphoria has nothing to transition to and the feminine and masculine traits that normally attract or repel people disappear. And to me that's a horribly bland and thoughtless notion.

Children don't need to be subjected to the pedantic social engineering of today's liberal sociopolitical and cultural experiments. Let boys be boys and girls be girls naturally. When they are old enough to decide for themselves how they want to live their lives, they can make those choices themselves.

[Altastrofae 933]

7 minutes ago, YourElectricityBill said:

No way. Boys should be boys and girls should be girls. They would uh... change their gender if they would need after they would grew up

That's not what we're talking about. What Feather Scribbles is saying is that it should be all right if a girl likes guns and trucks, or if a boy likes flowers, cuddly stuff, or wears "girl products"

This isn't about gender swapping surgery at all.

_______________

I think that gender stereotypes should be abolished. I for one, love jewelry and girls' fashion. Can't help but feel that's weird, and I don't want my kid growing up thinking that they're wrong for being themeselves

3 minutes ago, Sunset Rose said:

The problem with blurring the lines with gender neutrality is that there will be no significance to either gender when nothing is partial to either. A person with gender dysphoria has nothing to transition to and the feminine and masculine traits that normally attract or repel people disappear. And to me that's a horribly bland and thoughtless notion.

Children don't need to be subjected to the pedantic social engineering of today's liberal sociopolitical and cultural experiments. Let boys be boys and girls be girls naturally. When they are old enough to decide for themselves how they want to live their lives, they can make those choices themselves.

I'm gender blind, thank you, and don't see any problem with it. I don't think it would be bland, people would still be different from one another.

 Though I suppose that could just be because I'm bi and it wouldn't affect me either way

[The Recherche 29,969]

It's hard to say, but when you ultimately get down to it... I don't think parents should force something like this onto their children in either direction; they should just allow them to enjoy what they enjoy without being chastised. We shouldn't force anyone to like anything; if a young boy likes cars, that's great! If they like dolls... that's also great! It's not a bad thing for someone to enjoy something, simply due to the fact that they aren't the target demographic. I would be a massive hypocrite if I said otherwise; do you think My Little Pony was intended for 16 year old guys?

When it comes to marketing and demographics... at the end of the day, these will always play a part in what companies decide to do. Let's face it; it's not boys who made Monster High popular, and it wasn't girls who made Transformers popular. There are exceptions to this rule (we as a community are in a good place to speak), but in terms of how companies view gender differences, they're usually going to embrace them; there's nothing but profits to gain, after all.

In short, I don't think we should enforce things like this onto our children, but on the business end of the spectrum, companies know exactly who their demographics are and what they want. That's the only reason anything is sold on the marketplace; if someone is willing to buy it, then the company will continue to produce it.

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, Altastrofae said:

I'm gender blind, thank you, and don't see any problem with it. I don't think it would be bland, people would still be different from one another.

 Though I suppose that could just be because I'm bi and it wouldn't affect me either way

Are you also an infant being raised in a gender neutral environment? Because then your point to experience would matter. Otherwise...

The reason I say let boys be boys and girls be girls is because the OPs idea is suggesting the total removal of all traditional pronominal predicate nominative factors and to me it sounds like hyper progressive nonsense. It is not a parent's job to choose their child's direction in life, it's to give them as many tools as possible for them to do that themselves.

Imagine you are a hypothetical parent to a hypothetical child raised until the age of schooling in this household of total gender neutrality. What happens to them when they go to school where all of the other children segregate their interests based on preconceived gender conventions? The boys play with the toy robots and the girls play with the dolls. Then the child sees this every day and barring any teasing or bullying from other children, which, of course has no effect on them at all [/sarcasm] they will still ask why they can't fit in with the other children of their biological sex. You can tell them everyone is wrong, but you will eventually be drowned by your own child because the world is far different than you told them it would be.

[碇 シンジン 27,433]

I think parents should not make decisions  like that and the kid make it instead

[Altastrofae 933]

 

Are you also an infant being raised in a gender neutral environment? Because then your point to experience would matter. Otherwise...

The reason I say let boys be boys and girls be girls is because the OPs idea is suggesting the total removal of all traditional pronominal predicate nominative factors and to me it sounds like hyper progressive nonsense. It is not a parent's job to choose their child's direction in life, it's to give them as many tools as possible for them to do that themselves.

Imagine you are a hypothetical parent to a hypothetical child raised until the age of schooling in this household of total gender neutrality. What happens to them when they go to school where all of the other children segregate their interests based on preconceived gender conventions? The boys play with the toy robots and the girls play with the dolls. Then the child sees this every day and barring any teasing or bullying from other children, which, of course has no effect on them at all [/sarcasm] they will still ask why they can't fit in with the other children of their biological sex. You can tell them everyone is wrong, but you will eventually be drowned by your own child because the world is far different than you told them it would be.

I think I misunderstood the meaning of "neutrality"

I do think a child should choose what they do with their lives. But I also think that if they choose to be a little more feminine/masculine against their gender, I'll support that all the way.

 Not that I'd lie to them. If they chose to go against gender stereotypes before schooling, I'd make sure they know that the other kids might beat them up about it. Y'know they got to either hide it or runway-own it!

I don't believe I'm forcing anything on anybody, so I completely agree with you on that part.

[Sondash Studios 4,851]

Boys should be boys and play with things for boys. The same for girls

Edited June 5, 2018 by Sondash Studios

[JonasDarkmane 19,788]

Gender neutral parenting sounds very socially engineered, so no. I echo what others have said, let boys be boys and girls be girls. 

I'm all for expanding the toy market though, by not making every single toy to be marketed for a specific gender, even though I am not against the market doing that. I think kids can play with whatever toys they want. It does not require any kind of specific parenting to do that. 

[Olly 1,011]

2 hours ago, Feather Scribbles said:

What is your opinion on gender neutral parenting? Should the idea that dresses (as an example) are for girls and that guns (as an example) are for boys remain intact, or should they be abolished?

Guns should be reserved for boys in dresses, preferably the younger they are the sooner they should have unsupervised access to guns. Girls don't get either dresses or guns because they have cooties. 

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,732]

Children should be taught to not adhere to societal stereotypes. They should be able to play with what they want, dress as they want, express themselves as they want. If they want to the more 'traditional' ways, then fine, but if they want to do so in a way that isn't deemed as 'normal' then I say that is fine too. I am not one to question how one raises their kids or whatever, but so many are being developed like drones, especially in this country. Drilling it in their head that a girl must love pink and barbie dolls and that a boy must be all about action figures and cars. Personally I say to hell to that, unless of course the kid wants. Default gender stereostypes are idiotic and artificial.

[Jeric 46,860]

4 hours ago, Altastrofae said:

I'm gender blind

Can you elaborate? As someone who nearly went blind studying neurology  and psychology in preparation for the MCAT (and believes that there is a biological component to gender) I don't believe being gender/race/sex blind is possible. If you are, then the natural foundation of human intelligence may be deficient for you. Please review a recent academic article here. It discussed human intelligence and pattern recognition at length. 

 

Now to answer the question as answered, this is not a hypothetical. I am a parent. One kid is 18, the other is 17. My 18 year old is transgender and identifies as a male. My 17 year old is pretty gender vanilla as far as that goes. So how did I raise them? Man I could write a series of books on my evolution as a parent. Since the OP mentioned gender role specific schemas, I'll address that only. 

Gender neutrality is a myth. It can't exist as long as a majority of society isn't gender neutral. What can exist is to be fluid and flexible with gender roles and limits. When it came to clothing, the default is what my wife and I started with. As our kids aged, their tastes changed and so did our buying habits. When my son (formerly refered to as my daughter) came out to us, he modified his attire as he saw fit. We paid for it. He was old enough to pick his clothes. He was old enough to begin to understand the challenges that would exist in front of him, with our guidance of course. 

When it came to toys, my kids were introduced to pretty much everything under the sun. Barbie, Star Wars, Lego, Transformers, Nerf, the typical gross-out toys where you make candy bugs, plenty of sports stuff, etc. 

When it came to entertainment, there was no limitations that we placed on them. We didn't feed the just 'girls' programming. Their favs growing up were as universal as it got. Simple. 

When it came to activities, we again did not limit them. We introduced the to a variety, from a musical education, to ballet, to kayaking, to camping, to hiking ... you get the picture. 

When talking about chores, there was no such thing in my house as man's work or women's work. I cooked, did laundry, cared the lawn, home repair, home improvement, automotive, etc. My wife did this too. You'll be damned sure we taught our kids how to do some of all of the above, specific tasks geared to their age at the time with respect to safety. 

If you are sensing a theme here, good. This was my philosophy. We didn't limit their experiences based on gender roles. We introduced things to them and focused more energy when we saw talent and enjoyment. We guided them as parents, and their response to what we taught them guided us. That's how I raised my kids. It wasn't gender neutral. It was just an organic process of not limiting experiences based on traditional gender roles. 

Make sense? Also, this is how I raised my kids. I'm not going to tell another parent how to raise theirs. That's far far too nosy and goes against my nature.

[Clod 8,294]

I think you should let your kids be into whatever they want, so sure. But I don't think it should be to the point that if your kid is into something stereotypical of their gender, you should try to prevent it. That's going way too far, and unfortunately I've seen people do it. Also, don't force things on your kid that are supposed to be for the other gender. For example, don't force your boy into a dress or to wear pink. That's guaranteed to lead to bullying and shit. Do what you would for a boy or girl, but if their interests shift on their own, let it happen. Let them be themselves, but don't forget that gender norms are still a thing and that your kid will be affected by that.

Basically, don't force your ideas of what they should be onto them. Let them grow into their own person.

Edited June 5, 2018 by meme

[King of Canterlot 9,603]

4 hours ago, The Recherche said:

We shouldn't force anyone to like anything; if a young boy likes cars, that's great! If they like dolls... that's also great! It's not a bad thing for someone to enjoy something, simply due to the fact that they aren't the target demographic. I would be a massive hypocrite if I said otherwise; do you think My Little Pony was intended for 16 year old guys?

This is what I agree with the most. We raise our kids and give them guidance, but we don't force them to like any one thing over the next, instead we let them choose what they like and what they want to play with. There's nothing wrong with that, and as long as the kid is happy, then why take that away from them? As Bronies I think we're prime examples of this, we're guys who like a girls show, but is there anything wrong with that? Of course not, and it makes us happy, and that's all that counts 

[Altastrofae 933]

@Jeric

Trust me, I haven't any mental defficiencies, or anything like that. I usually base things off of attire or hair, or otherwise, but sometimes, I honestly can't tell the difference with a lot of people. It literally just takes a girl with short hair and generic clothing and suddenly the line is smeared. Or sometimes a girl will have a really "feminine" body, and it becomes obvious. I cant explain it, but I've made some crazy assumptions

[ShadOBabe 19,011]

Hmmm... not sure if I’d let my hypothetical son wear a dress. But entertainment and “feminine” hobbies? Sure kiddo, go for it. Same with a daughter if she was into “masculine” stuff.

My mother pretty much just let me do whatever interested me, and she finds me to be hilariously all over the place in tone when it comes to my tastes.

She’ll come in my room and find me on my bed covered in rose print sheets and pony plushies listening to Metallica or Guns and Roses, and she’ll just start laughing. XD

[Meushell 52]

2 hours ago, Sondash Studios said:

Boys should be boys and play with things for boys. The same for girls

That’s right. Girls should play with things for boys. 

———

Alright, as for my actual answer. It depends on how gender neutral you mean. Genders do exist after all. It’s not neat little categories, but various scales and graphs. Personally, I think it’s best to raise a child as best you can with how you think they’ll be until they indicate otherwise. You can certainly expose them to all toys and such as they grow up. 

[Wannabrony 11,640]

I'd say just let the child decide what they like for themselves. The parents do have a partial say in all of this, like from a young age or what they get their children but for the most part, the child's interests should not be suppressed. If a boy can play with robots, so can a girl! If a girl can dance ballet, so can boys! I see very little differentiation of what makes something more feminine or masculine than another. If you find out that your young son's hobby is... let's say, tea parties. You should be able to embrace that other than telling him that it's not what a boy is supposed to do and hand him a baseball bat instead.

Though I do see a potential problem outfit-wise. Personally, I don't see what is the thing that makes a dress/skirt more feminine than a t-shirt. But I don't feel really comfortable to let a boy wear a floral skirt and go into public. Again, the media and society has deemed these things wrong and while I don't think they're true or really matters, it could still cause a problem. For some reason, I don't mind if a boy wears a pink shirt or a girl wars a blue shirt though, to me colours don't really mean anything to me. This might be something that's horribly wrong, but unfortunately that's just how I view it.

[ShadOBabe 19,011]

3 hours ago, Sondash Studios said:

Boys should be boys and play with things for boys. The same for girls

Sondash... hon... you are a dude watching My Little Pony. I used to be a little girl that watched Transformers.

Entertainment ”for Boys” and “for Girls” has long since been blurred. All that matters is if it’s good.

[Celli 4,339]

If my son or daughter wants to do something not "meant" for their sex, I don't see the issue with letting them do what they want.

My son wants to crossdress? Fine with me.

Edited June 5, 2018 by Celli

[Kind Claw 407]

Ideologies and stereotypes on gender should not be indoctrinated on anyone (parents included) in some cases it becomes a hurdle in ones personal self development. Everypony is different.

Something is wrong with society and its not gender it's money, when you think about it we all only got we could have afford and not what we actually need.

 

[sasuke 328]

i dont care tbh. kids can dress or like whatever they want whether it be geared toward their gender or not.