general Responding to "how are you?" greetings

[Meson Bolt 2,648]

I get asked that a lot. "How are you?" is a very common greeting in the English language, and while it's almost synonymous with "Hello", it is a question and requires a response.

Most people say "fine" and get it over with (or the use the "no u" variant, "fine, and you?"), but I find that to be a very dull way of responding. Besides that, most people aren't actually doing fine when they respond, it's just a polite way to tell people to shut up and not worry about you. And that's honestly the proper response... nine times out of ten, the asker doesn't really care how you're doing, it's just a more polite way of saying hello. But to me this is really bland, so...

If it's a person I don't know, I like to respond with an overly-happy greeting, even if I'm completely bs-ing them. "I'm doing great today, thanks for asking!" or something like that. I could be having the worst day in the world, but as long as I fake it, it might help spice up their day or give them a burst of positivity.

If it's a person that I know, however, I'll likely respond honestly, which could be a variety of things. The flip side of that, however, is that if I'm asking someone I care about how they're doing, I really, genuinely want to know everything about their day. If I don't, I'll just say "heya" or something short like that.

Anyway. Thoughts?

Edited November 29, 2019 by Meson Bolt

[Pentium100 2,176]

This greeting/question confuses me too. In my country, if someone asks such a question, they usually are at least a bit interested in the response. On the other hand, it seems that in English, this question is just synonymous with "hello" as I doubt that some stranger would actually be interested in the answer (even if I was interested in answering them).

I usually respond with "normal". Though sometimes I say about something good that happened recently (if I am in a really good mood about it) or about something bad (if I believe that the person can help me or I just want to vent).

[ShadOBabe 19,011]

I usually do a combination of "fine, and you" and the "spill my guts" option. Like:

"I'm alright. I did X and Y today, and tomorrow, Z is happening. How are you?"

[Lulaypp 2,555]

Automatically, I will say "I'm fine/alright. How are you?". But there are times when I instead go with a "Meh/So so" (if the circumstances fit that is) if with the right people. There are those who I would give a more detailed version of "I'm fine" or a more honest answers.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,354]

I like to say “well I’m still alive, so I must be doing something right”  

[Dreambiscuit 10,091]

I usually like to keep it positive. If someone takes enough interest to ask, even if it’s just a generic form of greeting, it’s nice to give them no reason to regret asking. There have been times however when I’m caught at a particularly bad time and nuked ‘em with both barrels of negativity before I even had a thought of how to respond appropriately. Etiquette is a two-way street and if someone asks offhand or truly wants the details, brutal honesty should probably be kept to a minimum if it’s too negative.  

[Here No Longer 5,276]

I pretty much always use the line "fine." Some of the time, I'm really not and others I don't really feel like communicating anymore because it's draining my energy and making me anxious.

 

Though I think I have responses like that for most things I'm asked, that are pretty much just automatic responses because I just have a lot of issues communicating to people.

[Lucky Bolt 35,085]

Depends on who it is that asked me. If it’s someone I barely know Imma just answer them with a “I’m good how are you?” Even if I’m really not doing “good”  But if it’s someone I’m close to, than yea, I respond with something that usually leads to me unloading my emotional baggage for that day. 

[Rainbow Cloud 18,301]

I usually just reply with "I'm good thanks, how are you?" as I often don't really know what to reply with but that response seems to be good enough and returns the courtesy of asking the person who asked you how they are too.

[Cagey 4,248]

I say “fine, how about you?” and use their response to gauge whether or not I should bring up more. If someone’s in a good mood, I’m not going to change that, and if they’re in a bad mood, I’m not going to talk about me. I do share a lot when they’re in a receptive mood, though. 

[Sondash Studios 4,850]

I always try to be on a positive attitude so I always try to respond like "Doing pretty good! How's your day treating you?"

[Sovereign Leader Rarity 12,008]

I usually say something along the lines of "Meh", which, while perhaps sounding a little negative, is a vast improvement on my father's reply of "Better than you".

[Splashee 28,566]

Depending on the person, I respond with "fine, how are you?", but if I don't have time I respond with "fine."

 

And yes, responding "fine." doesn't mean I am, just that it is a good way to end the started conversation.

[TBD 17,256]

Every time someone went up to me, I always have this feeling “don’t bother me don’t bother me” Then they have open their mouth “hi how are you?”
Does anyone get this feeling or it’s just me? 
 

Anyways, depends on my mood, I would say “fine” and leave with just that. No need to build conversations. If I’m in a good mood then I would say “fine and you?” And hopefully they will only responds “ good”. Done. Spare me your petty life story..if they starts I’d just end it with “okay good.” And go on my way.  

[Early Sunsets 2,107]

I generally reply then ask how they're doing in return. In person I always just say "good" no matter how I'm feeling, but I'm more honest about it online. 

[The Kaeya Simp 13,989]

English, Russian, Romanian, French, I usually will just answer "ok" or "good" in the language

[Clawdeen 15,415]

The typical monotone good how are you if it’s my coworkers.

If it’s friends I’ll go into to details on things.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,926]

If my coworkers asked me this, I'd say "fine".  

[Fluttershutter 2,528]

"I don't understand the question."

[Clawdeen 15,415]

Fine how are you? I say as I don't even look at you and go along my way. 

[Iforgotmybrain 5,765]

“I’m fine, how bout you?”

[EpicEnergy 23,224]

I usually try to be positive and say something that indicates I'm doing good. Whether or not I'm actually doing good depends on the day, like some days are very bad and others are very good.

[Dreambiscuit 10,091]

They always ask me that at my doctor’s office and my usual response is: “I’m in a doctor’s office, you tell me how I’m doing!”