Worst fanfic ever? AND IT WAS MADE BY ME?

[Windwaker 194]

I think I have done the unthinkable. Made the worst FIMfiction is history! Almost EVERY SINGLE COMMENT is negative, and people hate it.

 

Babs:(Derpy impression) We just don't know what went wrong!

 

Can ANYPONY like this FIMfic? I think not, but if you like to read "the worst fanfic in history" be my guest.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/91190/the-element-of-time

 

Babs: Lets prepare ourselves for hate comments.

 

Agreed.

[Edgeworth1001 648]

Now, I will admit that the story is bad, what with the short as hell chapters and some OOC statements from the characters, but I wouldn't consider it the worst fanfic I've ever read. It's bad, sure, but not terrible.

Edited March 31, 2013 by Edgeworth1001

[Windwaker 194]

Now, I will admit that the story is bad, what with the short as hell chapters and some OOC statements from the characters, but I wouldn't consider it the worst fanfic I've ever read. It's bad, sure, but not terrible.

From 1-10, how would your rate it? (Please say 6/10. Please say 6/10.)

 

Yes, it is BAD, but not actually terrible. Hey, it is my first FIMfic, so cut me some slack, k? XD

[Edgeworth1001 648]

5/10

 

*Fronzie impression* Ehhhh, look on the bright side, no matter how bad this story may be, at least you've didn't write My Little Unicorn.

[Windwaker 194]

5/10

 

*Fronzie impression* Ehhhh, look on the bright side, no matter how bad this story may be, at least you've didn't write My Little Unicorn.

What the buck is My Little Unicorn? Is that *le gasp* TEH WORST OF TEH WORST?

 

Babs: OH MAH GAWD! GET OUT THE BIG GUNS!

 

I will read it. *both shivers*

[SilverHeart 741]

I'm really not sure what to say. I guess honesty is the best policy...it's rather bad. I have however read far worse. Also on the bright side, people took the time to respond. My first fic never got a comment. I don't think it has one now.

 

So did you delete all the comments in the comments section?

[Windwaker 194]

I'm really not sure what to say. I guess honesty is the best policy...it's rather bad. I have however read far worse. Also on the bright side, people took the time to respond. My first fic never got a comment. I don't think it has one now.

 

So did you delete all the comments in the comments section?

Discord. Pure discord. And chaos, flame wars, trolls and hater blended up into a delicious smoothie! Anyway, rating? From 1-10. XD

[Keypassion 232]

I can see why it's bad. It definitely needs improvement, and in the worst way. You started off with dialogue, which isn't a bad thing, but it needs to be balanced with description. Setting, colors, smells, sounds, etc.

A good goal to keep in mind is have a minimum number of words per chapter. It can be a great help in the long run, and a good number to chapter ratio will draw in some readers.

Also, don't be afraid to use words you haven't used before. And keep a dictionary and thesaurus on hand.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

I actually liked it. I gave it a like. It just needs some grammatical error fixes and less awkward dialogue. Don't feel bad Bearsie, there are plenty of worse fanfictions out there. The worst fanfic I have ever read is Sweet Apple Massacre. It is the most disgusting thing I have ever laid eyes on.

 

I give it 6/10

 

By the way Bearsie, could you read my first fanfic and tell me what you think?

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

Edited March 31, 2013 by Blue_Moon

[Clarity 3,094]

Well...yeah. I don't like it. Sorry. Not the worst fanfic, by any means, since your grammar is still better than some fanfics I've read. Still, self-insert OC shipping isn't going to earn you any points, especially since it's making about enough sense as Pinkie Pie. 3/10.

[SilverHeart 741]

Discord. Pure discord. And chaos, flame wars, trolls and hater blended up into a delicious smoothie! Anyway, rating? From 1-10. XD

 

Just as a heads up...deleting comments can get you a pretty bad reputation on that site. 

 

I want to give you a higher score to spare your feelings...but...2/10.

Edited March 31, 2013 by SilverHeart

[Edgeworth1001 648]

What the buck is My Little Unicorn? Is that *le gasp* TEH WORST OF TEH WORST?

 

Babs: OH MAH GAWD! GET OUT THE BIG GUNS!

 

I will read it. *both shivers*

Well, no, but this story is 10 times worse than your story will ever be.

 

Since you've, luckily, never heard of this story, let me tell you the tail of a author know as Dakari-King Mykan.

 

Dakari is a angst-filled loser who writes fanfiction to help him sleep (No, seriously, writing fanfictions help him sleep. He usually write hatefics towards the character that's part of a shipping that he ships because said shipping didn't worked out well in cannon.

 

Mykan is a fan of Teen Titans and the character he hates the most was Terra because of the episode called 'Things Change', which ended Beast Boy's relationship with her.

 

He doesn't believe that friendship is magic and assumes that MLP lies about everything, but despite his anti-bronyism, he is signed up on FIMFiction, where you would find both the first in the MLU saga posted by another user, and the sequel, which, btw, makes the original the hella lot better.

 

The reason why he hate FiM is trivial at best and the illogical at worst (I swear, the rabid hater has more valid reasons than him), and he believes that his story is better than show.

 

Now that I've said half of the things you need to know, I wish you good luck.

[Windwaker 194]

I actually liked it. I gave it a like. It just needs some grammatical error fixes and less awkward dialogue. Don't feel bad Bearsie, there are plenty of worse fanfictions out there. The worst fanfic I have ever read is Sweet Apple Massacre. It is the most disgusting thing I have ever laid eyes on.

 

I give it 6/10

 

By the way Bearsie, could you read my first fanfic and tell me what you think?

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

Thanks! My dream score! Well, my minimum score!

 

Sure. I'll read it and review it! It sounds interesting! I am making a one shot, Ruling Equestria with an iron hoof is boring!

 

I'm really not sure what to say. I guess honesty is the best policy...it's rather bad. I have however read far worse. Also on the bright side, people took the time to respond. My first fic never got a comment. I don't think it has one now.

 

So did you delete all the comments in the comments section?

If I did, again, people will HATE ME! ARE YOU CRAZY?

 

Babs: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

 

Well, no, but this story is 10 times worse than your story will ever be.

 

Since you've, luckily, never heard of this story, let me tell you the tail of a author know as Dakari-King Mykan.

 

Dakari is a angst-filled loser who writes fanfiction to help him sleep (No, seriously, writing fanfictions help him sleep. He usually write hatefics towards the character that's part of a shipping that he ships because said shipping didn't worked out well in cannon.

 

Mykan is a fan of Teen Titans and the character he hates the most was Terra because of the episode called 'Things Change', which ended Beast Boy's relationship with her.

 

He doesn't believe that friendship is magic and assumes that MLP lies about everything, but despite his anti-bronyism, he is signed up on FIMFiction, where you would find both the first in the MLU saga posted by another user, and the sequel, which, btw, makes the original the hella lot better.

 

The reason why he hate FiM is trivial at best and the illogical at worst (I swear, the rabid hater has more valid reasons than him), and he believes that his story is better than show.

 

Now that I've said half of the things you need to know, I wish you good luck.

Oh, my.

 

Babs: oh mah.

Edited March 31, 2013 by Bearsie

[SilverHeart 741]

@@Edgeworth1001, 

 

 

 

Oh that's where I recognized the name from. Dakari's stories were always a fun read. (Fun in a mean and rage inducing way) Along with the comments section, particularly the TWE reviewers.

@, 

 

I know it may seem (and feel) like a personal attack but chances are they weren't being that cruel. Well at least until you deleted their comments....then they may have taken that as a personal insult and tried to insult you back. Although they very well could have been mean from the start. I didn't get to read them so I'm not too sure.

 

Also you probably got a fair amount of hate because it comes across as a self-insert. If you want me to I can tell you a few of the things that I (and possibly a few others) found off putting about your story. 

[Edgeworth1001 648]

@@Edgeworth1001, 

 

 

 

Oh that's where I recognized the name from. Dakari's stories were always a fun read. (Fun in a mean and rage inducing way) Along with the comments section, particularly the TWE reviewers.

I know where you're coming from, but be happy that you don't know a person name Chris-chan and you're not diagnosed with autism like I'm am

[Windwaker 194]

@@Edgeworth1001, Oh that's where I recognized the name from. Dakari's stories were always a fun read. (Fun in a mean and rage inducing way) Along with the comments section, particularly the TWE reviewers.

@, I know it may seem (and feel) like a personal attack but chances are they weren't being that cruel. Well at least until you deleted their comments....then they may have taken that as a personal insult and tried to insult you back. Although they very well could have been mean from the start. I didn't get to read them so I'm not too sure. Also you probably got a fair amount of hate because it comes across as a self-insert. If you want me to I can tell you a few of the things that I (and possibly a few others) found off putting about your story.

You can tell me that. It will probably make me a better writer if I listened to suggestions. Shoot! (Dont really shoot me! XD)

 

Babs: Interesting. Go on, I would like to here more.

Edited March 31, 2013 by Bearsie

[Windy Scamper 403]

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you, that was bad. Here are some tips,.just because;

 

If YOU'RE going to have a romance, thag's cool, but let it develop. Sure, people have "love at first sight," but that usually crashes and burns. Let it be complicated, that makes it more entertaining.

YOUR character has no personality and is very Mary-Sue-ish. Make him clueless, an awkward flyer, SOMETHING to make a conflict. After all, what's a story without a conflict.

 

You may have noticed me capitalize the two "your's." You used the wrong yours a few times, which makes YOUR story look unprofessional.

 

Also, keep age in mind of the ponies. Twilight is no older than 14, and therefore should not be sleeping with somepony. I noticed this apparent in your roleplay, romance of Babs and Frost. You have to remember that Babs is like, 8, and the mane 6 are very young teenagers.

 

Finally, don't jump around on the plot. This is another thing I noticed in "Babs and Frost." In that, I really thought there would be something cool woth Rainbow Dash being a changeling, or some explanation of why she was evil. But you just left it. You did this in the fanfic too.

 

To sum it up, develop characters, edit and revise, create conflicts, and keep a steady plot.

 

And don't delete comments. It makes it look like you're trying to make yourself look good, and, this being the internet, people judge you.

 

Hope you enjoyed my tips, please don't hate me! After all, a true true friend helps a friend in need!

[EndtheRaven 161]

Nobody's first story is great. Don't be discouraged by anyone, but rather keep people's advice in mind when writing your next story to make it loads better. Keep it up!

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Another word of advice for you Bearsie. Try to stay focus and on topic when you are writing. Don't jump around with different ideas that don't belong in the original idea. Save those for seperate stories.

[Windwaker 194]

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you, that was bad. Here are some tips,.just because;

If YOU'RE going to have a romance, thag's cool, but let it develop. Sure, people have "love at first sight," but that usually crashes and burns. Let it be complicated, that makes it more entertaining.

YOUR character has no personality and is very Mary-Sue-ish. Make him clueless, an awkward flyer, SOMETHING to make a conflict. After all, what's a story without a conflict.

You may have noticed me capitalize the two "your's." You used the wrong yours a few times, which makes YOUR story look unprofessional.

Also, keep age in mind of the ponies. Twilight is no older than 14, and therefore should not be sleeping with somepony. I noticed this apparent in your roleplay, romance of Babs and Frost. You have to remember that Babs is like, 8, and the mane 6 are very young teenagers.

Finally, don't jump around on the plot. This is another thing I noticed in "Babs and Frost." In that, I really thought there would be something cool woth Rainbow Dash being a changeling, or some explanation of why she was evil. But you just left it. You did this in the fanfic too.

To sum it up, develop characters, edit and revise, create conflicts, and keep a steady plot.

And don't delete comments. It makes it look like you're trying to make yourself look good, and, this being the internet, people judge you.

Hope you enjoyed my tips, please don't hate me! After all, a true true friend helps a friend in need!

First, Twilight is about 21, not 14. The mane 6 are from 20 - 22 years old. Babs is like 11 and the CMCs are like 12.

 

Second, yes, my character is kind if a Gary sue. But I have a phobia for him that in afraid of also. (Though I'm afraid to tell. If I say I there, EVERY SINGLE HATER will post a SPIDER FACE! )

 

Three, this has NOTHING to do with Babs and Frost, plus the Time Defenders. These are totally different universes. XD (in the real time defenders, I am married to AJ! XD XD)

 

Besides that, it was very helpful. When you said true, true friend, I thought of the song XD XD XD

 

Another word of advice for you Bearsie. Try to stay focus and on topic when you are writing. Don't jump around with different ideas that don't belong in the original idea. Save those for seperate stories.

Give me an example. IN MY FANFIC about me jumping to different ideas instead of focusing on just the one. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot.

[Shift 4,271]

I saw this story! I think I commented on it.

 

My FIMFic name is Royal Canterlot, by the way. If I didn't comment already, I will now.

 

I am so giving it a thumbs up :3

 

Oh, right, this is the fanfic that was made into a chatroom.

What the buck is My Little Unicorn? Is that *le gasp* TEH WORST OF TEH WORST?

 

Babs: OH MAH GAWD! GET OUT THE BIG GUNS!

 

I will read it. *both shivers*

If you think that's bad, read My Immortal.

 

You did much better then My Immortal.

 

My Immortal is the worst fanfiction in history.

 

BY FAR.

Edited March 31, 2013 by Velvet Remedy

[Windwaker 194]

I saw this story! I think I commented on it. My FIMFic name is Royal Canterlot, by the way. If I didn't comment already, I will now. I am so giving it a thumbs up :3 Oh, right, this is the fanfic that was made into a chatroom.If you think that's bad, read My Immortal. You did much better then My Immortal. My Immortal is the worst fanfiction in history. BY FAR.

I will add you as friend. I responded to your comment. It was good! But the sarcasm? No. (Facehoof)

 

Babs: (facehoof) But, hey, at least it wasn't hate comment!

 

Eeyup

[Ashley 2,427]

Usually I look at comments before reading. After reading the comments, I didn't read the story. Things that stuck out in the comments:

• Twi/OC Shipping

• OC becomes an alicorn

• Short chapters

• Deleted comments

Usually proof that it what you are going to read is a bad story.

[Windwaker 194]

Usually I look at comments before reading. After reading the comments, I didn't read the story. Things that stuck out in the comments:

• Twi/OC Shipping

• OC becomes an alicorn

• Short chapters

• Deleted comments

Usually proof that it what you are going to read is a bad story.

Ok, my OC is hinted to become an alicorn LATER, but I'm starting to rethink that. And are short chapters BAD? This might be more than I thought...

[PrymeStriker 408]

The main problem with the first chapter is that the whole thing is mindbogglingly rushed. The character in narration (Connor) fails to deliver anything to the reader; all we know is that he's this brony who makes videos and lives with his mom and brother. Suddenly a portal opens and just as suddenly the tenth Doctor shows up. He shows no hesitation going in and his family members are too calm about him leaving. The fast pace of the chapter leaves the characters with no emotion.

 

The second chapter reveals Connor's persona in Equestria; Windwaker. Again, the whole chapter feels rushed. One thing that stuck out to me was the fact that Windwaker and Babs Seed were almost instantly approaching Twilight's library without the story making any mention of the two leaving the castle. Also, at this point, it is not explained how Babs Seed and Connor/Windwaker even know each other. Additionally, Babs' comment about how she's okay with Celestia or Luna didn't make any sense or serve any purpose. Another thing; the existence of a seventh element is a huge unexplained paradox with the show at this point.

 

The end of chapter three was probably the most hilarious thing ever. "I've never kissed a mare before." "Me neither." Twilight never kissed a mare? I sure hope not.   Anyway, the love scene between Windwaker and Twilight Sparkle is all too sudden and spontaneous, and the climax of the scene is short as well. This is another problem you have throughout the story that I'll address when I am through. Finally, while you drove your shovel into the ground about the seventh element, you did not dig a hole, which still leaves its existence a huge unexplained paradox.

 

The fourth chapter resolves some unanswered questions, like how Windwaker and Babs Seed are familiar with one another, but overall rubs off as useless to the plot. After reading all four chapters available so far, I personally as a reader don't get any answers as to "what's going on and why should I care." Most things happens so suddenly it flies past you and it has no time to develop.

 

I think the biggest problem with the story is your pacing. You either need longer chapters or more chapters to move the story along. The next problem is the characters. Sure, we know who the mane six are, Spike, Celestia, etc., but we don't know who Connor/Windwaker is and his purpose. He's left without a personality other than someone/pony of convenient importance. If you're going to create a protagonist, it's better to start him off some place where he can develop rather than "oh, he knows everything and he's important and he'll become an Alicorn and BLAH," which is what it feels like.

 

In summation (aka tl;dr), your story has terrible pacing and bland characters that do not pull the reader in at all. By the fourth chapter, I was frankly bored and nearly skipped the whole thing. Please, do not take personal offence to this, but I unfortunately have to rate your story so far a 1.5 or 2/10. It definitely needs some work, and I doubt anything in future chapters could save the story. Don't stop writing, however, as this story does prove you have serious potential.