OC Reviews By Minty! :D

[Ihei 711]

These reviews are 100% honest, and I do not mean any harm. Just a few suggestions to edit your OC, is all.

 

 

Hey, everypony! I saw everyone doing OC Reviews and I thought that I should try it, too. :3 Most of the reviews will be guaranteed with positive reviews, completely honest.

 

 

Waiting List: 

 

 

 

1. Ampharos
2. Colt 
3. BroWhovian TestSubject 
4. Jalokim 
5. Blue Moon
6. Lume~WMJ
7. Becker (Fender)
8. repsol rave
9. chaotic sole
10. Windy Runner
11. Kaz
12. Mr. Dash 
13. DXSilverX 
14. LittleRawr
15. Pink Mist
16. Stevenearthpony
17. Nomadic
18. Josh Riordan
19. Disordered_Child
20. Shame
21. Grand_Finale
22. Suskel
23. Zhooves
24. Becker (Fender) (( Another OC ))

Edited July 29, 2013 by Minty Wintergreen

[Ampharos 1,009]

Eh why not. You can do either Diamond Dust or Blaze Finder. Or both if you feel like it    Thanks in advance

[Colt 555]

This sounds fun and feedback is a great way to improve and find mistakes so here they are. Both of them are meant an design for an adventure FIC

 

OC's -

 

Colt Strahl |

 

 

Earth Miracle |

 

 

Here you have access to all their artwork

Edited July 24, 2013 by Colt

[Ihei 711]

@@Ampharos, 

 

Hurrah! My first review! Alright, here goes:

 

Diamond Dust

 

Appearance - Pretty decent. I think his facial expression should be a tad more happy, since, judging by his backstory and personality, he sounds like a optimist.

 

Personality - He sounds like a stallion Fluttershy with his bunny Coal! Well, in a way. He acts like a normal stallion around mares.. just a tip, though; can you specify how he acts around mares? I mean, I get that he gets nervous, but what kind of nervous? Constipated or blubbery? Your call if you should, of course.

 

Backstory - This backstory was certainly more entertaining than some backstories that I read. Not too much drama. It doesn't make sense that his family has two earth ponies and two unicorns, though. It kind of reminds me of the two Baby Cakes, one is a pegasus and one is a unicorn. It doesn't make sense, but it's understandable.  

 

Rating: 8/10

 

Blaze Finder

 

Appearance - Family heirloom, eh? It seems like it would've been covered with dust if it's been passed down from generation to generation.. and extremely fragile.

 

Personality - Do you mean that he's a killer by psychotic? ...nah, you wouldn't. I guess every OC has a obsession, and I've never seen a fire obsession before. :3 Pretty interesting personality, he seems like the type of stallion who just wants to be understood, and that rarely happens. Nice character development! He really sounds like the type of stallion who gets all the mares.

 

Backstory - Can you explain HOW he got obsessed with fire? Some kind of accident or did he just like it? He sounds pretty smart, too. Can you explain a bit more of the backstory..? If you can, of course. This seems like a pretty good OC.

 

Rating - 9/10

 

@@Colt,

 

Colt The Strahl

 

Appearance - Hey! That's some pretty detailed art! :3 I think this is the first dragon and probaly the best dragon development I've seen. :3 It doesn't really look like he would get left out, though. When I first saw his face, I was like, "Hey, this is a pretty attractive dragon! I'm sure he's a great OC!" And he was! :3

 

Personality - This reminds me of Twilight in EQG. She's just trying to be nice and fit in but ponies push him away anyway. In some RP point, I think you should make him do something kind for the town to prove himself, if he's up to it.

 

Backstory - This was.. honestly, amazing. This could be made into a fanfic. (( Haha, coincidence that you are. )) I'm sure your fanfic will be a success with this; and I suggest that he should be famed. Again, as stated above, he should do something to prove himself, or, when he's done with being pushed away, he should just rage and destroy the town, then a pony can calm him down. Somehow. This OC is good to go.

 

Other Information - You should really try to RP with this. :3

 

Earth Miracle

 

Appearance - One thing I have to say about this pegasus: SHE IS ADORABLE. She is one of the cutest mares I've ever seen!  

 

Personality - This pony can be very well my ponysona. Does she live alone..? Can you specify what you mean by "all alone"? No parents? Live alone? No friends.?

 

Backstory - So Colt and Emi are siblings? What a interesting twist. Her backstory is rather depressing. May I suggest a little more of hope or happiness? Other than the pleasant dream?

 

Rating: 8/10

[Kbblender 122]

Ooh, this is new!  I haven't seen one of these yet;  Let's see how superior I am to everypony else...

There is a backstory!  I haven't figured all of it out, but there is a backstory...  His name is completely unoriginal, which of course makes it original.  Ladies and Gentlecolts, I present John Smith.

[Jalokim VA 31]

Alright, Im gonna finnaly send my OC to someone to review it!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Jalokim!

 

backstory

----------------------

Born in Cloudsdale, Jalokim was once a shy colt. When he discovered his love of film and entertainment in general, his personality changed to that of a shy, quiet colt to an exuberant, cheerful Stallion. 

After studying drama and film, he went to work in various productions, he left Cloudsdale to widen his horizons. He came to Ponyville to help entertain others.

He soon became good friends with Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Rarity, and is the love interest of Spiral Swirl. 

Jalokim currently wants to open a film school in ponyville, but unfortunately doesn't have enough supporters of the idea to actually go through with it.

 

Personality

-------------------------------

My character is usually cheerfull. He LOVES acting and anything related to film. He can be a bit crazy at times, but he does have control over when he wants to be crazy or serious. He likes to be different than the rest by usually wearing something that a normal Pony wouldn't, such as a cape and a fedora. He always likes to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but he does have a darker, more serious side of himself. It takes a lot to get him mad, but when he is mad, you better watch out!

He is also quite knowledgeable.

 

 

Have at him!

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Could you review my OC, Blue Moon? His profile can be found in my signature. It's the top link. Thanks in advance and be as harsh as you want.

[Colt 555]

Colt The Strahl

 

Other Information - You should really try to RP with this. :3

 

Earth Miracle

 

Personality - This pony can be very well my ponysona. Does she live alone..? Can you specify what you mean by "all alone"? No parents? Live alone? No friends.?

 

Backstory - So Colt and Emi are siblings? What a interesting twist. Her backstory is rather depressing. May I suggest a little more of hope or happiness? Other than the pleasant dream?

 

First of all thanks for your time and words, it means a lot you take your time to give me your ideas and opinions about my OC's =D now for your questions

 

Ok about Colt well he is my main and I think only OC I really RP with. The main reason I started to RP with him and then with Emi was to realize the way both character should react on certain situations and with this create a more "believable" characters for the FIC.

 

Yes in a way both Colt and Emi are siblings, I say In a way because both of them were adopted by the same couple of earthponies farmers that were unable to have foals. Both Emi and Colt were happy and had very cheerful young years while they remain with their parents. Colt was taken away age 5 and Emi got to the farm a year later, for 14 years the filly had a great life. Yeah there were some problems one or another scold but she was happy and waited for her brother. That changed when their parents passed away. Keep in mind that this events were 1000 years before the show so many sickness could turn into plagues. 

 

When her parents died the town she lived in was devastated by the sickness, those who survived found no reason to stay and soon Verdant Saddle (how I named the town) became a ghost town with a lonely mare that faithfully awaited for her promised brother.

 

Ever since they woke up they have been living adventures and trying to find a place to live, she is not alone anymore she has her brother and he has her. Normaly for a the sake of RP's I explain she earns a patronage to study music at Canterlot giving the dragon some space to play alone.

 

Yes it is a little dark but this builds the bond and relation they have, being the only one in the whole world each other have. I need this to tight their relation and develop it on the fic.

 

Hope this answers your questions again thanks for your time and comments on my OCs 

[Lume WMj 228]

Why not~ I'm hella curious to see what people think of my new OC anyway!

 

Sophie 'of Platinum' is her name. Be fair, and don't be afraid to point out the mistakes, controversies and whatnot. I want to see if my idea worked, and if I can fix it otherwise in order to use Sophie for future role plays~

 

She's a zombie, by the way. 

[Ampharos 1,009]

 

 

two earth ponies and two unicorns

 

Well I said he had four brothers (now three) and three sisters. All of his siblings as well as his parents are unicorns, but he and Chisel were both earth ponies. And for how he gets nervous, it's really the whole blubbering idiot kind of nervous

 

 

 

It seems like it would've been covered with dust if it's been passed down from generation to generation.. and extremely fragile.

 

In my head I've decided that it has a magical aura that keeps it intact, but I'd rather keep it a mystery on the bio. I might change that though, He's not psychotic in a killer way, he can just go a little over board when talking about his passion and when he actually is in the vicinity of fire. I honestly haven't really that of how he got obsessed with fire. I imagine that he just took a strong liking to it after he worked with it at some point, since his father was training him to be a mechanic (maybe I should mention that in the back story ). 

 

 

 

He sounds pretty smart, too.

 

He really sounds like the type of stallion who gets all the mares.

 

And you would be right on both accounts He is extremely smart, but doesn't come off as being so. And yes, he does get all the mares But he's too dense to realize when he likes somepony. 

[Ihei 711]

Ooh, this is new!  I haven't seen one of these yet;  Let's see how superior I am to everypony else...

There is a backstory!  I haven't figured all of it out, but there is a backstory...  His name is completely unoriginal, which of course makes it original.  Ladies and Gentlecolts, I present John Smith.

 

 

Um, do you happen to have a character page..? The appearance is really cute by the way. :3

 

@, 

 

Appearance - Hey, I've never seen any OC like this one before! This one's pretty special; I like the way it looks like. Some pizzazz.

 

Personality - We got a optimist in the house!

Uh, ahem. I really like that it's a optimist, usually OC's these days are really.. a downer. It's unique. :3

 

Backstory - Can you specify why he can be serious and more about his family life?

 

Rating - 7/10

 

@@Blue Moon,

 

 

Appearance - This pony looks so natural that it actually looks like a pony from the show. Seriously, the OC's people make usually have a blue coat with a pink mane, then it doesn't match at all! This looks.. natural! Great job!

 

Personality - Can you talk more about his family life so we know how he was raised? Or is he a orphan? And can you specify what he did wrong in school that his classmates laugh at him..? It should be something big. Oh, and this is just a small tip - you can put that he did something wrong in school, then he gets stubborn since he doesn't want to be humiliated again.

 

Backstory - Princess Luna has assistants? And can you describe the wife and daughter a little bit..? 

 

(( Okay, is this too harsh? D: ))

 

Rating - 8/10

 

@@RosemaryPetal,

 

Appearance - You don't exactly explain a lot of the appearance, and the pony is a silhouette. So I can't exactly say anything. Cute though! 

 

Personality - Um, I guess she's.. calm?

 

Backstory - Oh, well that's cool. She does watercolor and paint. That's pretty cool. :3

 

(( Needs a bit more development. ))

 

Rating - 7/10

@,

 

Appearance - Ooh! Looks like a spotted Daring Do with a horn!

 

Personality - Oh, a bubbly zombie. You don't see those everyday.

 

Backstory - She can die twice? O.o

 

Rating - 9/10 

[Fender 1,283]

All three of mine are in my signature Minty, have at it! :3 I wanna get opinions on all of em anyway. 

[Lume WMj 228]

Backstory - She can die twice? O.o

 

Yeeeeeeah... Something like that.  

 

I didn't want to make anything completely immortal and overpowered, so I had to add quite a bunch of downsides to her. So yeah, she can be killed... again. According to the movies-slash-video games universe, shooting a zombie in the head is usually the best way to "kill" them, so there's that.

 

Anyway, thank you kindly for taking your time to review my OC! I really appreciate it~ :3

[Blue Moon 6,336]

 

 

Appearance - This pony looks so natural that it actually looks like a pony from the show. Seriously, the OC's people make usually have a blue coat with a pink mane, then it doesn't match at all! This looks.. natural! Great job!   Personality - Can you talk more about his family life so we know how he was raised? Or is he a orphan? And can you specify what he did wrong in school that his classmates laugh at him..? It should be something big. Oh, and this is just a small tip - you can put that he did something wrong in school, then he gets stubborn since he doesn't want to be humiliated again.   Backstory - Princess Luna has assistants? And can you describe the wife and daughter a little bit..?    (( Okay, is this too harsh? D: ))   Rating - 8/10

 

Nope, it was honest and actually useful. 

 

Thanks for the complement for his design!

 

As for what he did wrong in school; I guess I could do something for it, and I probably should, but I couldn't really think of anything when I put that part in. As for the stubbornness part; think of it this way. He prides himself on his knowledge, and he doesn't like being wrong. Therefore, he often will argue with others that he is right, and it's hard for him to accept he was wrong in some situations. In that way he is stubborn. I don't think the event should be big though. He is usually embarrassed when he is wrong and argued so hard to prove he was right, so something moderately sized would seem big to him.

 

However, I will agree with you on him being born. That's actually a pretty good idea, and I may add something for that.

 

As for Luna having assistants, it didn't really matter if she did or not (she most likely didn't.) He was a child when he first started hoping for it and didn't think things through. He would overhear that Celestia sometimes had special assistants from others, and thought that maybe Luna may do something similar. Given how unlikely that would happen for a normal colt who didn't even live in Canterlot, it never happened.

 

I guess I could add more description for his family, but I wanted to stay on-topic with the backstory. It is Blue Moon's backstory afterall. But I do need to create profiles for his family. I have their pictures, but I never got to making them a profile.

 

 

Thanks for the very helpful review!

[Jalokim VA 31]

 

 

@Jalokim,    Appearance - Hey, I've never seen any OC like this one before! This one's pretty special; I like the way it looks like. Some pizzazz.   Personality - We got a optimist in the house! Uh, ahem. I really like that it's a optimist, usually OC's these days are really.. a downer. It's unique. :3   Backstory - Can you specify why he can be serious and more about his family life?   Rating - 7/10

 

 

Thanks for the review! 

 

Jalokim can be serious because he usually prefers to view things with a realistic view, and tries to make only logical decisions, but he does like to be happy! In other words, he knows when it's not the right moment to be bubbly and instead be calm and collected.

 

His family is... well... good. He doesn't have any siblings, but he does have a pair of wonderful parents. He usually does not like to get help from his family because he likes to be independent. 

[repsol rave 2,963]

@,

will you do my OC?

nopony wants to review him since his backstory is kind of...big.

i'm talking about Isaac Clarke by the way. so not repsol.

thanks in advance!

Edited July 24, 2013 by repsol rave

[~Sole~ 852]

Can you please rate my favorite oc, sole? Link is in my sig! Please be honest in your reveiw please.

[Adente 1,000]

@,

 

Hey, you know what would be an awesome idea Minty? For you to review one of my OC's, considering how we are RP'ing using at least three of them right now! (I think we've used Windy, Todd, and Reef in the RP so far) I'd like your opinion, as blunt and impolite as it needs to be, on............ *insert dramatic drumroll*

 

 

Windy Runner. Big shocker, amirite? But yeah, since you've been stuck in an RP with him for a considerable length of time, you can give an informed and informative review of him, since I'm always looking to fine tune and improve my OC's, especially Windy. Thanks Minty!

Edited July 25, 2013 by Windy Runner

[Ihei 711]

@,

 

Alright! Another OC to review!

 

Fender

 

Congratulations, you're the first OC I'm starting to review the Cutie Mark for!

 

Cutie Mark - I have to point out that most cutie marks involve music. It's kind of common in a way. But that's the most adorable cutie mark story I've ever read.

 

Appearance - Yet another Pegasus. I knew they were best race. :3 Other than that, I like your mix of colors for the mane and tail. Suits it and reminds me of Christmas.

 

Personality - Ooh, flirty. Most of the OC's here are kind of nervous. Finally, somepony confident. Oh, and can you specify what you mean by "overthinking" things? Do you mean that he somehow leads something to death and is he overprotective?

 

Backstory - Can you describe HOW he got the nickname Fender..? And is he rich or is he poor? And what do you mean by "too uptight?" 

 

By the questions, I mean, can you specify it in a edit on the character page?

 

Rating - 8/10

 

Percival

 

Appearance - N/A

 

Cutie Mark - N/A

 

Personality - Oh, a stallion Pinkie Pie! Pretty cool!  

 

Backstory - Aw, that's such a sad backstory.. Getting bullied for liking mares.. That's harsh, but that was a pretty interesting backstory.

 

Rating - 7/10 Could use a bit more character development. 

 

Candy Spirits

 

Appearance - Fancy mane style ! I like it! I love that it only has one color in its mane; it's so.. unique.  

 

Cutie Mark - Care to tell how she got it?

 

Personality - I'm really not sure why you had to use the "sex" part, but okay. Can you tell us what she does when somepony tries to flatter her? Wow. The first flirty mare on MLP Forums. Impressive.  

 

Backstory - First lesbian I've seen, too. O.o Your OC's are so unique. Two of your OC's get bullied though.. it's kind of a common problem, but I think they shouldn't have two of your OC's get bullied. How about a simple disease, like paranoia?

 

Rating - 9/10

 

@,

 

Your character page link links me to the site of character pages.. :L

[~Sole~ 852]

Sorry about that! Here is tbe real thing, just rate and judge honestly and without bias please.

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/sole-r3207

[Fender 1,283]

@, 

 

Might be better for me to just explain the stuff here. :3

 

 

 

Oh, and can you specify what you mean by "overthinking" things?

 

 

SO, basically...like me, Fender over-analyzes things when it is just completely necessary. Think of it like saying something very simple to Fender, then him turning it into something far too complex for what it actually is, just the way his (my) mind works.

 

 

 

Can you describe HOW he got the nickname Fender..?

 

I think it's fun to add a mysterious element like that. "No idea how I got the name, but it stuck."

 

 

 

And is he rich or is he poor? And what do you mean by "too uptight?" 

 

 

Not rich or poor...holds to the middle, really. Well...Canterlot...uptight, orderly, snobby ponies...stuff like that...royals as well. Not to say that's what all Canterlot ponies would be like, but y'know that seems to be how they are often portrayed.

 

 

 

Aw, that's such a sad backstory.. Getting bullied for liking mares..

 

Mares *and* stallions, he was bullied on accounts of not only his attraction to ponies...but his attraction to males as well, him being a Griffon and all.

 

 

 

Care to tell how she got it?

 

 

"When she turned 20, she reopened her father's pub, and worked there serving drinks for the next 3 years or so, and even got her cutie mark for mixing cocktails in that period." I believe that should explain it.

 

 

 

 I'm really not sure why you had to use the "sex" part, but okay.

 

Because it's simply a part of her character, just one more thing to know about her. :3

 

 

 

Two of your OC's get bullied though.. it's kind of a common problem, but I think they shouldn't have two of your OC's get bullied. How about a simple disease, like paranoia?

 

 

For me, bullying and peoples' reactions to it, and how they handle it, those things are all familiar because I've gone through heavy bullying, and have come to understand the human mind (and my own) and its reaction to being abused all of the time,  and since pony OC's may as well be humans, I might as well make the connection. 

 

There, all of my answers, I think.

[MLPForums Phanact 1,374]

I'd absolutely love a review of my OC if you have time available! Although it is kind of just based off of my life xD Thank you very much

[Mr Dash 1,818]

How about you go and rate my OC as well. I'm game. You can find him in my sig.

 

His name is Crescent Star, and he has a knack for creativity.

 

EDIT: I would say hold off on reviewing him. His backstory seems to have disappeared from my thread. I will let you know when I re-wright the backstory. I just hope I can remember everything.

Edited July 25, 2013 by Mr. Dash

[Kbblender 122]

Um, do you happen to have a character page..? The appearance is really cute by the way. :3

Well, it took me until 1:11 in the morning to do it (6 hours) but I have to say that I am extremely pleased with the results, and I am very happy that I saw this topic so that I could do a character page.  Now I can RP!  Anyways, I know it's really long, but I hope that it will be interesting!

 

John Smith

Edited July 25, 2013 by BroWhovian TestSubject

[~Silver Essence~ 2,621]

I'm generally ok with any reviews towards my OC.

 

My OC Swift Star is in the link under my signature.

 

I should note that his back story has yet to be explained on half of his purpose of obtaining his cutie mark.

 

But other than that, he should be cool enough.

 

Thanks.