Stupid things customers say

[DaReaper 1,944]

First off sorry if this is already made cause my search function is broke still

 

Now for us that have a job we all know customers say stuipd things to us well lets put in what they say.

 

K for this one i work overnights

Lady says to me "Do you know what time the overnight shift runs?"

 

Guy ordering donuts at counter with the showcase of all our donuts next to him he orders 2 we dont have, i tell him we 're out he orders another 2 we dont have so i fibaly say"you can see what we have in the shoecase rigght here" he says"realy thats what thats for?"

 

Nit at work but i was at a gas station in my work uniform on my way in guy says to me "oh you work at Tim Horton's ?" I look at him puzzled like did he just say this to me? And respond "nope i just wear this for the fashion " almost said heres your sign

 

Thats what i have for now, i know i got a lot more so please share your's

Edited October 6, 2013 by DaReaper

[Scootalove 10,689]

I was working at Starbucks, surprisingly enough a customer walked in to ask me something. ''Do you have any coffee?'' , I was actually about to respond in a very sarcastic way so I said nothing.

[Moonlight 7,286]

I don't work anywhere, but I was at WalMart with my mother (she doesn't work there) and some customer walked up to her and yelled in a rude voice, "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FRUIT JUICE?!"....my mother pointed to where it was and when the customer walked away, I just mentioned to my mother, "what a bitch." 

 

Also, my mother was working at Kroger one day and a customer walked up to her and asked, "Do you work here?", even though she was wearing her work clothes...that even had her nametag on it. 

[PonyBoy15 428]

When I was in college and working at a men's formal ware shop, I was in the rental department. I had customers ask me if socks and underwear were included in the rental. Like seriously? Do you want to wear underwear that someone else wore before? Another stupid question was when a customer walked up to me and asked if we rented tuxedos, while the showroom floor is filled with tuxedo dressed mannequins that say "Rentals."

[Shanks 10,816]

I work at a grocery store as a dairy clerk and a backup checker most examples I have seen have been more along the lines of stupid things customers do rather than say. You wouldn't believe how many times the downstairs customer toilet has been clogged thanks to some idiot flushing down things that are not mean to go down their. This one customer even flushed plastic wrap down there, granted I am not the one who has to clean it up but it is still face palm worthy. Of course there is the leaving random perishable items anywhere which I find seriously annoying especially if it is juice because I actually have to pour it down the drain and then recycle the containers.

 

And there is the biggest melon scratcher of all and that is when I try to tell customers I am opening up another register and they don't respond. I understand that at least half the customers can't speak English, but I point and use hand gestures, raise my voice use body language and everything and there are some there will just not move no matter what. You would think that they want to move to a new line so they could get their stuff rung up, pay and go home but some people are so oblivious to what is going on around them that I often wonder what the hell they have been smoking and when they are going to offer me some. I have even announced over the intercom that I have opened a new line and the some of them still don't get the message. What is wrong with these imbeciles?

Edited October 6, 2013 by EarthbendingProdigy

[NothingIsEverything 1,239]

I deal with Greyhound Bus Lines, and a few times, we had people that want to go to a state, but not quite sure what city they want to go to.

 

Customer: "I want to go to New Jersey."

 

Me: "Ok, where in New Jersey."

 

Customer: "Well, I don't know yet."

 

And then they want me to find out what cities it stops at. I mean, there are a lot of stops in New Jersey. like I'm suppose to know every single one. And keep in mind that these are people leaving on the same day. Are you kidding me? You want to go somewhere, but you don't know where you want to go? Get out of my face with that nonsense.

 

And this happens a lot: I'm closed up for the night, shop is pitch-black, I'm cleaning up, the sign says closed, and people still try to force open the door (and I mean they almost try to break the door) and have the nerve to ask if we're closed. Well, gee, the sign says closed, it's pitch-black in here, so what do you fucking think? Anyone who tries to get something after we're closed can go eat shit.

[Foreigner And Lover 207]

I was working at Subway when a moderately stoned woman came and asked me if we had a vegetarian menu. I facepalmed and I said. "You can choose what you want to put on your sandwich." And then she said "But I don't know if it's vegetarian." I told her she should try the meatball sub. She left after calling me an asshole. I'm lucky my manager wasn't there.

[Lost 1,410]

When i worked at CEX i would get questioned a few times a week as to what music was playing (we just had a playlist of all our music playing), people would get pissed off when i didn't know what song it was, like im some kind of walking talking shazam.

 

I once had a customer come in who didn't speak English very well, he approached me while i had my arms full of DVDs stood on stairs which was awkward enough, then he proceeded to ask me if i have any "fooking" videos, i had no idea what he wanted untill he shouted at me "MAN, WOMAN, FOOKING!" and i realized he wanted porn 

 

He wouldnt leave me alone so i ducked into the staff room and waited for him to leave 

[Shanks 10,816]

She left after calling me an asshole. I'm lucky my manager wasn't there.

There are so many times I have wanted to say some smart ass remark to a customer or to my manager who I have nicknamed Mr Slash and Burn because of his delightful habit of not scheduling enough help which screws everyone over your truly being one of the people getting screwed over the worst and making me one of his scapegoats. I was ringing up this one customer today and after I finished the order the customer indignantly said "you're welcome" and when I didn't respond she said "you are supposed to say thank you after ringing up a customer" of course I still said nothing and moved onto the next customer. What I wanted to say was "sorry mam I don't speak bullshit." The fact is I am not good at faking enthusiasm, if anything it makes my lack of enthusiasm even more obvious plus alot of customers don't like the obvious faking it myself included. It is not that I intend to be rude or dismissive, but due to sensory issues thanks to Autism I have to focus alot harder than most people to not screw up which can sometimes make me forget little things like that.

[A Blithering Div 247]

I work at a store with a gas station at a rest area and I've heard a lot.

 

"Do you have any coffee?" Keep in mind the coffee bar is directly in front of the entrance.

 

"Do you sell lottery?" As I stand at the machine with scratch tickets clearly visible behind me.

 

"Is this where I pay for gas?" No dipshit, you pay for it at the fast food joint next door.

 

The follow up to that is "I need to fill up but I don't know how much its gonna take." Keep in mind the entire east coast of the US is pay first and come back for change.

 

"Where the rolls for the hotdogs?" The drawer says "Fresh rolls" on it.

 

After asking how to get to a town: "Do you think my car will be safe in the grocery store's parking lot?"

 

And the one that made my jaw drop is when a customer picked up a yellow packet that says mustard on the front of it and proceeded to ask: "Is this the mustard?"

 

The scary part is these people are out there driving multi ton tin cans that can easily kill someone.

[GeneralDirection 1,047]

I work at RCSS as a cashier pretty much every day I'm there. I get my fix of idiocy on a regular basis, so remembering everything would be impossible. These are the ones that come to mind.

 

*customer looking at the debit machine* "I don't get how the touchscreen works."

*customer has an item I've never seen* *me asks them what it is* "I don't know what it is."

*some lady watching me process her order, waits until I'm halfway through* "Wait, we have to bag our own stuff here?" *me says yes* "This is an outrage!" *lady leaves the store and me with her half done order of meat and crap* 

"Do you sell ammonia?" Pure ammonia is toxic...and this is a store full of food...what do you think?

"I don't want this it has a hole in it" *customer shows me a hole the size of a pinhead in packaging of a large frozen item*

*customer doesn't put a code on a bulk item* *me asks what it is* "It's like 99 cents a pound or something" Me: -.-

"You charged me the wrong price for this!" *As if I have any control over how much it is. Welcome to computers 101*

*customer points at the washrooms, that clearly have a big WASHROOMS sign above them* "Those are the washrooms right?"

*customer buys ketchup without a cap* Get someone to get me a new one, I don't want to go get another one. *ketchup is like 10 feet away from the till*

[Praetorian Xenomorph 27]

I shit you not this happened three weeks ago.

 

So before I quit, I worked at a McDonald's (worst choice of my life). I was just there, minding my own business, doing cashier shit, when this wasted lady walks in. She comes up to me, swaying like she was a leaf in the wind.

 

"So...you gotta any bese bar gars...!?" she says, slurring her voice.

 

Not knowing what she said, I tell her the menu.

 

'Bargars, bargars!" She screamed at me.

 

"Um...ma'am, are you looking for burgers?" I replied.

 

She then screamed something that could only be described as a mix between a Predator, whale, dinosaur and a shark. Afterwards, she grabbed my shirt and tried to punch me before she could be...ahem..."escorted" out.

 

This is what made me quit.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,306]

I used to work at a major grocery store. Part of my job was to clean the meat department when it was closed at night. A woman once SERIOUSLY cursed me out because I couldn't trim the fat off the steaks she wanted to buy! She totally flipped out when I said all I did was clean up, and I wasn't a butcher. I hid in the back room and called the manager to come and calm her down. That was actually more scary than stupid!

 

Another time, a different woman threw a bag of shrimp at me. (She missed LOL!) It didn't have a label, and she got mad when I said I didn't work in seafood and didn't know the computer codes to price it.

LOL!

I HATED that job!

[Batbrony 16,053]

I think I've got a real winner here!   This incident seriously made me almost lose all hope in humanity, no joke.

 

OK, so this is back when I was still a park ranger at Silver Beach County Park in my hometown, St. Joseph, MI.  I'm working the gatehouse later in the evening, close to sunset, and a few cars are driving in.  In one of them, a car with Illinois license plates, a gentleman who looks to be in his mid-40s with kids and everything asks me, completely serious, "Sharks out this late at night?"

 

I repeat, he asked me if sharks were out this late at night... at Lake Michigan. 

 

At first, I wanted to so desperately believe that the guy was just being sarcastic or pulling my leg, but the look in this guy's face, the way he said it... I just knew he was being dead serious and wanted to know if sharks were indeed out this late at night in the FRESHWATER GREAT LAKE THAT IS LAKE MICHIGAN!!!   So, to my eternal sorrow, I had to actually say to a customer, "No sir, there are no sharks in Lake Michigan".  And for all eternity I shall forever be facepalming myself whenever I recall that story.  If anything it's at least certainly a fine personal reminder of just how far humanity's stupidity can indeed go. 

Edited October 6, 2013 by Batbrony

[cuteycindyhoney 13,306]

Let me add this. It's something my dad told me. For years he drove a truck. He made a delivery once to a school. The school's maintenance man was supposed to actually unload the truck. The guy, as my father put it "Vanished like a fart in the wind." (LOL!) My dad tracked him down, and found the guy standing in the middle of an absolutely totally empty room. There was not one stick of furniture or even a closet. It was literally a big empty box. My dad said

"What are you doing?"

The guy said

"I'm looking for something."

My dad said

"Well, it isn't here!"

 

[DaReaper 1,944]

K i got more

This was mostly me messing with the guy in drive thru he says. "do you have any, um, uh crap" ans me catching it says. "i'm sorry sir, we dont serve that here "

Now there are big signs everywhere that say "Open 24 Hours" and people will come in and ask when do we close

And my favorite so far, we are clearly a coffee and donut shop, some guy comes in and asks me. "so what exactly do you sell here ?" I looked at him puzzled for a min like seriously

[Justin ZW 396]

Oh my god. Prepare for some entertainment.

 

"Are you serving breakfast?" *The menu boards still have the lunch menu...*

"Are you serving lunch?" *Menu boards say breakfast...*

Me: "Hi, right now we're doing CASH ONLY. I'll be right with you." (Yes, I emphasize cash only and say it very slow.) Them: "Did you just say cash only?" *Facepalming so hard.*

^Expanding on that one...

They get to the window and hand me a credit card. I shake my head and say "Sir, I told you cash only at least twice. I can't take cards."

Him: "Why the hell not?!"

Me: "Okay, you see how I'm writing down orders by hand, and I have a cash drawer sitting on a stack of boxes? The systems are down for our nightly reboot. I have no way of running a card."

Him: "That's stupid and you never said cash only! You're calling me a liar! *enter rage mode*

Me: Closes window. Walks away.

 

So this happened a couple months back. I work overnights at McDonalds, so I work from 10PM-6AM. There's a lot of jokes that we get all the drunks and stoners... well they're not jokes. We have people puke in our drive through at least once or twice a night. But this story just topped everything.

 

A guy came through our drivethrough with his penis out and in his lap. When my manager got to the window to collect his money, he was slapping it against his leg. But the story doesn't end here. He pulls back around and orders a cup of water. She hands me the water and says "You hand it to him. I don't give a fuck if you put a lid on it or not; get him out of the drive thru!" So I laugh and go to the window. He sees me, puts his head down and reaches out for the water without looking at me. I literally just handed it to him and shut the window immediately. He peeled out hardcore.

 

Here's more.

*Guy comes through and tries to order breakfast food at about 2 AM (we switch to breakfast at 4 AM). I tell him that we aren't serving breakfast food, and he says "Wait, I thought you served breakfast all day!" Yep. We're the next Ihop. So much facepalm.*

 

*Lady comes through at 3 AM wanting ice cream. I tell her the machine is down, and she flips out. "Why is it that every time I come through here in the mornings your ice cream machine is down?!"

Me: "Uh because the machine goes into heat mode at about 2 AM. It's on an automatic timer, and there's no way for us to stop it. Would you like to scream and swear at me some more or can I get you anything else?" (Yes, I censored her comment. Heavily.)*

 

*Some kid came through at like 12:45 AM and ordered two double cheeseburgers. I collected his money and told him the next window. He holds up a box of condoms and says "Bro, can you get rid of these for me?"

Me: "No."

He then proceeds to beg me, saying he can't have them. I point out there's like three trash cans outside for him to use, and he just looks back and throws them at me. I was a little thrown off. But anyways, I ignored it and continued working. Here's where it gets interesting. He proceeds to ask me what I rang him up for. I told him two double cheeseburgers. He freaks out, so I say "Did you want the dollar ones instead? The McDoubles?" He says yes, so I call my manager to the back. I do mention the condoms. Well, he walks up to the window and says "Sir, do these belong to you?" The guy goes "I told him to get rid of them!" So it turns into the manager throwing the box of condoms back into this guy's car, giving him his money back, and telling him to gtfo before the cops showed up.*

 

Oh, and I've had drunk people throw up while attempting to hand me money. There was only one time that any puke actually got on me, but I was so pissed off that one time. It went something like this:

Me: "Hi, that's gonna be $4.28."

Her: "Ooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh" *spends five minutes digging for change, tries to hand me change, pukes all over my arm*

Me: O_O -> -> D:< "You know what? You need to leave."

Her: "Nooooooooo! Whyyyyyy?!"

Me: "You just puked all over my fucking arm. You're pretty lucky I'm not calling the cops right now, because you are WAY over the legal limit. Go home and go to sleep, and don't come here drunk anymore. Good night." *hands her money back, walks away*

This drunk idiot sat at my window for like two minutes yelling "I'm sorry!" so I walked by the window, looked at her, pulled out my phone and pretended to call 911. She saw it and peeled out lol

 

 

That's enough for now.

[DokiLoki 519]

I'm too young to actually start working yet but once when my friends and I went shopping at Target or something  and when we were about to go a lady who looked about forty asked one of the staff working at the table ''Do you know where's the Clothes aisle?'' Then the staff man responded back with directions. I didn't think she understood so she said, ''What was that?'' without using ''Pardon?'' The person at the counter said the directions again, and then she said, ''This is a f*cking store.'' Its like: 

Edited October 6, 2013 by ~Glimmer Lily~

[Rayalicious 435]

It happened  while i was selling stuff at the school's cake sale

 

Me: Hello, what would you like?
Student: I would like a chicken burger please
Me*points at massive "cake sale" sign* Next! then i facepalmed

Edited October 6, 2013 by Sir. Rayray

[Untitled Goose Q 5,137]

​The only one I have to share is the all to often occurrence of people walking into my workplace at an Oxfam Bookshop, and saying "oh, its just books". As if there isn't a sign above the door saying Oxfam Books, and as if there is not a window display with books in it.

[Jelly Raindust 35]

My friend and i went to Cambodia, touring. We were at the Angkor Wat on our third day's trip and we were queuing to get in. In the front line, two or three person before us were some kids selling stuff and the tourists were like, "Next time!". it was nearing the entrance when these two kids with dozens of postcards in hands cut in, blocking our path. The elder of the two said: "Postcard!", we were quite irritated at that time because that was somewhat the reason of the long queue, so my friend's answer was: "Tomorrow." Judging by the looks of these kids, I know they wouldn't take that as answer. The elder kid asked doubtfully: "tomorrow?" I was right. My friend: "Sure, why not? We come here everyday!" The kid smiled: "Tomorrow i sell you ten!" Then they continued to the back line.

[Retro*Derpy 3,182]

I work in the IT field so I get to hear some pretty funny stuff everyday.

 

One customer was complaining about his bad coffee tray. I asked him what did he mean by his "coffee tray"? He replied "You know, that button you have on your computer and the tray comes out." Me>   *facepalm*

 

Now I had a friend who was helping a guy with a slow computer, so my friend says first to close all the windows. So the guy goes around his house closing all the windows (/)_-)

[Guest]

I was eating at a fish and chips restaurant with my mom and sister when this old lady gets her order. Two seconds later she goes over to the waitress and starts complaining loudly about the "horrible breading" on her order. She says that she "wouldn't have come here for fish if all she gets is breading" and as the waitress goes off to the kitchen she says, "And make it better this time!" Finally after her order is remade two more times, she figures out that what she wants is the beer battered fish. Along with remarks that she's never coming back again. Insane.

[Avatar tag: shipping 299]

A few years ago, I used to be a manager at Domino's. One evening one if my cashiers calls me over to help. She could not find the order of a customer that had just walked in. I ask the guy what he ordered and he replied, "A large taco pizza and a streusel pizza." Neither of those things are sold at Domino's. I ask the guy if he called it in or ordered online. "I called it in, I used this coupon y'all sent out in the mail." On the coupon, in bold red and green letters, it says Godfather's Pizza. This moron called them and they told him that he called Godfather's, he drive to building that said Domino's, with people inside that wore Domino's uniforms, was told "Welcome to Domino's" when he entered said building, and STILL didn't realize he was in the wrong place.

 

Then there was the guy who ordered two of the sandwiches we for some reason sold, and tried to pay with food stamps. He threw a huge fit when I told him he could pay with that. I told him, "Sir, I am not going to pay for you to eat Domino's." That comment went completely over his head and he asked for the manager. I just stood there staring at him until he took the hint. He continued his rant about Domino's sucks as he stormed out. The sandwiches weren't very good either so I didn't even get to eat them.

[Silver Letter 1,832]

This thread is hilarious. Customers are so stupid. I'm glad I don't work in retail anymore since many workers are taken for granted.